by Cole Lepley
Hours go by and I still don’t move. I clutch my jacket in my hands, no longer shaking from the chill of the wind. My breath steams in front of face and still I feel nothing. Over and over I try to convince myself I’m doing the right thing.
I won’t be able to be the guy she needs while I’m so far away from her. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough, but I know myself enough to know that I’m not ready now.
By the time I see the headlights of Hunter’s truck approaching, I’ve talked myself out of going after her a million times. He parks along the side of the road and walks over to me slowly. I can tell by the sympathetic expression on his face I must look pretty bad.
For some reason I start to laugh, and he stops in front and waits patiently for me to stop. But I don’t. The laughter quickly morphs into something else entirely. Tears fall down my cheeks as my chest splinters and cracks. Hunter’s eyes widen, but it keeps coming.
His arms come around me and I clench my fists. I want to punch him and anyone else who could possibly see me right now. Men don’t cry and they sure as fuck don’t sob so hard they can hardly catch their breath.
But I am. Every emotion I’ve been trained to hide is flooding out of me, and I’m terrified it will never stop. He doesn’t let me go and he doesn’t say a word while I lose every ounce of my shit. I’ll never admit it, but I’m so fucking thankful he’s here.
For the first time in my life, I completely break.
Chapter 40
Pride
Charlotte - Now
Ollie is naked in my shower right now. Even though we spent most of the night engaged in physical activity, he still got up and ran five miles. His commitment to athletic excellence is impressive.
The image of his shirt plastered to his body, accentuating his rock-hard chest and all the delicious ridges of muscle, is still clouding my mind. I decided not to get in the shower with him because he has a meeting with his father, and I don’t want him to be late.
He’s showing a lot of effort to mend their relationship and building toward a successful working one. It surprises me. Oliver was always so against working with his father and being a part of the family business. I think in a way it made him feel as if he didn’t earn it. It’s his father’s empire so obviously he could be a part of it, but it wasn’t something he would need to work hard for. Pride tends to cloud his judgment and I would like to make sure he’s grown out of that.
The shower is still running as I walk past the bathroom to the stairs. I smile to myself when I hear humming. He’s the most adorable when he’s happy. I’d also like for that to continue.
The smile melts rapidly from my face as I glance out the front window and spy a car pulling up. My sister Scarlett gets out first and then motions to the trunk. She hurries up the sidewalk while Evan retrieves a bag. This is definitely a surprise visit.
Scarlett waves at me through the screen door and then pulls it open with a flashy smile. “Surprise!” she coos before shuffling past me to the powder room. “I’ll hug you in a moment. I’ve had to pee for like two hours.”
I hold the door for Evan who rolls his eyes. “She’s exaggerating. I stopped when we got into town.”
He too, breezes toward the kitchen like they didn’t just show up unannounced while I have my ex—or current—boyfriend showering upstairs in my bathroom. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but Ollie and I are beyond complicated. I’m not prepared to answer fifty questions when I’m not sure I’ll have one solid answer. My head is still spinning.
Before I can think too long, Scarlett comes barreling out of the bathroom, still holding the hand towel.
“Guess what?”
Her eyes are wide with excitement, and Evan is grinning in a weird way. They’re both super creepy right now. I shrink back a little. “What?”
“I’m pregnant!” she cries, throwing her arms around me.
I return her hug, completely stunned. “How?”
She pulls away and places her hand on her still very flat stomach. “I don’t know, the doctor said once we stopped worrying about it that it could possibly happen. There was a slim chance, but it worked. I think it was the fact that we weren’t worried about the money anymore. Since you stayed here to fulfill the promise of the will, I haven’t felt the stress that I used to.”
As much as I want to remain excited for her, there’s someone in this house that still doesn’t know about the will. The one whistling in my shower who is completely and utterly content right now.
I flash a bright smile and bring her in for another hug. She happily accepts, because she’s all bright and smiley herself, and it gives me a chance to change the subject.
“Good. How long are you staying?”
She pulls back and leans on the counter. “Just a day or two. I wanted to be here in person in case you wanted to pack up and head back with us.” She motions to Evan and my mouth drops open. “We figured you’d need the help.”
I scramble for a quick answer but come up short as Ollie strolls around the corner. Thankfully he’s dressed and appears blissfully unaware of the current conversation. He walks over to Evan first.
“Hey, man,” he says, pulling him into the typical bro hug. He pats him on the back. “Good to see you.”
Evan nods, but doesn’t get a word out before Ollie walks over to my sister. “Congrats, Scar,” he says and then squeezes her elbow. “You’re going to be a great mom.”
Oh, shit. He heard us. My insides start doing flipflops. Then he leans in close to me. “I have to go meet my dad, but I’ll text you later, okay?”
I’m staring at his lips as I nod, and he starts to smile. “All right, then,” he says, and kisses me once. “Love you.”
He pulls back and heads for the door before I have a chance to say it back. With a wave, he swaggers out and everyone takes a collective breath.
Evan speaks first. “Was that Oliver?”
Scarlett steps in front of him, her eyebrows furrowed. “Did he just say, ‘I love you’?”
Their rapid-fire questions come at me too quickly and I nod without thinking. “Yes, and uh—yes.”
Scarlett throws her hands up. “Oh my God. I totally knew it.” She points her finger in my face. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you? You let him back in your bed and now it’s love?”
My jaw drops a little and I huff under my breath. “You wanted us to get back together. You encouraged it every single time I was even close to this place, and now you’re judging?”
She shakes her head. “No, Charlotte. I am happy for you, but you said you were going to take it slow. Last we talked about it you said you were just going to be his friend, and now he’s saying ‘I love you’? That’s crazy fast.”
“How is it fast when we always felt that way?”
“He never said it.” My stomach falls, but she keeps going. “He never told you he loved you and you thought that he didn’t. How does that all go away in a month?”
“What?”
“Years of doubt. How could he possibly prove to you that he’s changed in a month. That he wouldn’t bail on you when shit gets real again.”
“He didn’t know,” I interrupt.
Her head shakes again. “Doesn’t matter. He’s very charismatic, and that’s always been a weakness of yours. You fall for his shit and seem to be blind to everything else.”
I huff a laugh. “I know him, okay?” I look her dead in the eye. “He means it when he tells me he loves me.” I sniff back an onset of tears, silently cursing the fact that I’ve been so oddly emotional lately. “I know it seems crazy, but it feels right to be with him.”
Evan steps between us, looking equal parts uncomfortable and concerned. “I’m going to get some food. You two should talk.” We both turn to glare at him and he cringes back. “Any requests?”
Scarlett sighs. “I’m in the mood for whatever.”
Evan nods. “That’s a specific answer. No way for me to screw that up.” He turns to me. “Cha
rlie?”
“I don’t care,” I say dismissively.
He nods again and laughs. “Okay, I’m sure this will go well.”
When he turns and walks out the door, Scarlett moves closer. Her eyes soften. “I’m serious, Charlotte. I don’t want to see you like that again.”
“Like what?”
“Broken.”
Her simple response makes my stomach roll once more and I’m suddenly in jeopardy of losing whatever’s left in my stomach from last night. I push the onset of nausea aside and continue to make my case.
“I love him,” I say more firmly. “I know we still have a lot of things we need to work through, but it’s worth it to me. I’ve never…”
My words trail off as another wave invades my insides. I take a breath. Scarlett eyes me carefully. “You okay?”
I nod, but then immediately shake my head and run toward the powder room. I barely have the lid pulled up before expelling all of the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I can feel her standing behind me even though I’m still leaning over the porcelain.
“Charlie.”
She says my name like she knows something I don’t. I’m just pissed I’m throwing up. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been sick like this. I never get sick.
I reach my hand out to grab a handful of toilet paper, wiping my face and then flushing the toilet. I stand on shaky legs and move to the sink, glancing over at her before cupping my hand under the faucet.
“I’m fine,” I say and then take a mouthful of water. After swishing it around and spitting, I turn around and lean on the vanity for support. “It must be a bug.”
She smirks. “A nine month one.”
“No way,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m on the shot.”
She cocks her head, unaffected. “Yeah, and when’s the last time you got it?”
My brain counts back the months. It’s been a busy time for me. I remember making the appointment, getting things ready in New York so I could come back here, staying longer than I planned to…oh shit!
I close my eyes, unable to look at her. “Shit.”
Instead of the sisterly lecture I’m expecting, I hear her laugh. I open my eyes and immediately narrow them at her. “What could possibly be funny right now?”
Scarlett continues to laugh and walks back to the kitchen. I follow her to the fridge, and she pulls out the container of sweet tea I made earlier. She pours two glasses and hands one to me. “Drink this and then go get ready. We need to go to the drug store.”
My stomach lurches again, but I don’t argue. “Okay.”
“Ollie must have some pretty powerful sperm. I’m sure he’s proud.”
I laugh because I’m not sure of anything. I have no idea how Oliver will react if I’m pregnant. All I know is that this time, we won’t be able to run away from it.
Chapter 41
Adulting Is Hard
Oliver - Now
Young Ollie would be freaking the fuck out right now.
He would have demanded to know what they were talking about and accused Charlie of lying and misleading him. He would have taken everything personally as if he were the only one that mattered. His feelings would have taken precedence over hers and he would have said a bunch of shit he didn’t mean.
Good thing young Ollie isn’t in charge anymore. Maybe I didn’t grow up a whole lot, but what I did learn makes a big difference. The details aren’t clear, but I get the point—she had to stay.
Charlie didn’t stay because she wanted to be around me. Even though it should offend me, it has the opposite effect. I feel lucky.
I got a second chance to make things right and it doesn’t matter how it happened. It’s happening now and she finally knows how much I love her. The fact that she loves me too is just bonus. I’ll never feel deserving of her love, and that’s why I have to make sure she knows it’s forever.
My hands are shaking while I sit in my truck. I’ve been staring vacantly at the lodge for about twenty minutes. This is a conversation I’ve had with my parents before. I’m not sure they believed me a hundred percent last time, but they were supportive regardless.
A tap on my driver’s side window makes me flinch and I turn my eyes toward an amused Elliot. Her laugh is muffled until I lower the window.
I give her an irritated look. “Jesus, Elliot. You like to sneak up on people? You scared the fuck out of me.”
She continues to grin. “You’ve been sitting here for almost half an hour.” She nods to the large window at the front of the lodge. “I’ve been watching you.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Helping mom get ready for the event tonight. Some wedding.”
My chest squeezes tighter. It’s weird to have a such a strong reaction to something you never thought you wanted.
Elliot eyes me carefully, always able to sense a strange current in my mood. “What are you doing here? Dad said your meeting isn’t until this afternoon.”
I nod, taking another shallow breath. “Yeah, I need to talk to mom first.”
“Well, come help us move the rest of these tables. We’re two people short today.”
She steps back as I open the door and get out. I blow out a breath and hit the fob to lock the truck. She starts to laugh.
“What?”
“You’re acting totally weird.” She gives me a shove. “Tell me, Ollie.”
I start walking toward the sidewalk to the lodge and she falls into step beside me. “I’m going to do something.”
“Which is?”
I pause for a beat. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
She doesn’t push further. We enter the lodge and walk down the main conference hall. It’s already decked out in gold and rich greens, with lights twinkling from every corner of the room. I follow instructions from Elliot and work in silence as she has me move practically every table in the room.
I’m almost breaking a sweat when I look back to her standing off to the side, her eyes scanning the room. Her lips purse and she motions to the table behind me.
“Move that one three inches to the right.”
I grit my teeth but comply, moving it at least five inches for good measure. It’s basically in the same fucking place it was before, but she smiles wide.
“Looks perfect.”
I give her a nod and walk over to the service station to pour a glass of water. My mother comes around the corner, kissing my cheek quickly before stepping past me into the room.
“This looks amazing, Elle. Good job.”
Elliot smiles brightly and I stifle a groan. She can have her moment, I don’t have the energy to protest my greatness right now.
My mother does a lap around the room before finding her way back to me. I sit down at a table by the window, wishing my glass held more than just ice water. She smiles and takes the seat in front of me.
“Your father’s excited about the plans so far.” She reaches over and places her hand on top of mine with a squeeze. “I’m very proud of you.”
I shrug, brushing off her praise. “It was nothing. He did all the work, I’m just helping.”
“That’s the whole point. All he wants is to be able to spend time with you, doing something you both enjoy. You don’t have to do anything, just be here.”
I nod, still slightly uncomfortable hearing good things about myself. I’m used to people telling me how I awesome I am, but it’s always been about things that didn’t actually matter.
“I’m glad to be here,” I say, meeting her eyes. I lean back in my chair with a sigh. “I thought I wanted out of here, that I was going to be something great and my life would be perfect. I don’t think that’s true anymore.”
She gives me a knowing smile. “Would that have anything to do with the girl taking up so much of your time?”
A grin spreads across my face before I can stop it. I can’t control it when someone mentions Charlie. She makes my heart smile.
“Yeah,” I say an
d then take another drink. “I guess it does.”
“Is there anything you need to tell me?”
I nod.
“I thought so.”
My stomach flips and it has nothing to do with the fact that I skipped breakfast this morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t even eat. I’ve never had that happen before.
I clear my throat, regaining my composure. “Things between Charlie and I are much better this time. I think I’m ready now.”
“Ready for what?” My father’s deep voice startles me and I turn to see his expectant gaze. It’s a much easier task to convince my mom when I decide to make a big life decision. That’s why I always go to her first.
She stands up from the table and walks over to him. I watch her fix his tie and whisper close to his ear. His eyes remain on mine and after a moment his eyebrow arches.
“Is that so?”
I can only imagine what my mother must have told him. She probably thinks I wanted to tell her that I’m in love. Even though it’s true, what I’m planning is much deeper than that.
They have a brief exchange about catering, and then he turns his attention back to me. “You’re early. Did you eat yet?”
I shake my head, although I’m still not hungry. My stomach remains twisted in knots and it’s been a struggle to appear normal. Obviously, I haven’t been doing a good job of it, and my father is the most perceptive of them all.
“Join me in the dining room. We’ll have lunch and talk a bit.”
It wasn’t a question, so I oblige, exchanging a look with my mother on the way out.
We chose a table that overlooks the slopes. Immediately our water glasses are filled, and my father orders a whiskey. I order a double.
He raises an eyebrow. “You having a problem, son?”
“You could say that.” I unfold my napkin onto my lap, but don’t offer anything further.
