by Cole Lepley
I have a speech prepared, of course. This is one of those times where you need an actual plan. It’s a moment too important to get fucked up by allowing your brain to pull something off top.
She turns to me first, her cheeks flushed from the bitter nip in the air. “I need to tell you something.”
My stomach drops, but I don’t let it affect me. “Me too.”
Charlie bites her bottom lip, looking away for a moment. More nervous energy stirs in my gut as my mind plays every bad scenario on a continuous loop. She’s being weird, and her sister’s here. Maybe she’s leaving?
“Can I go first?” she asks quickly.
I hesitate for a moment and then nod.
Her hands twist in her lap and she won’t look me in the eye. My heart starts to pound and I count the seconds until she speaks.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.” A tear slips down her cheek and I almost lose what dinner I did manage to eat.
I take her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “You can tell me anything, darlin’.” I wait for her to finally look at me again before I continue. With my thumb, I wipe the wetness from her cheek and then kiss her lips once. “It’s you and me, remember? We’re a team.” I take her hand again, bringing it to my lips and then gently lowering it.
I’m crawling out of my skin now with worry, and she still remains silent. I don’t want her to see me panic. I want her to be able to depend on me to keep a level head and stay calm in stressful situations. At least that’s what I want her to believe, because on the inside, I’m freaking the fuck out right now.
With a heavy sigh, she brushes her hair back and meet my eyes. “I swear I didn’t do this on purpose.”
Oh my fucking God. She cheated. She’s fucking Liam.
My jaw ticks, but I keep my tone even. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Just tell me.”
She takes another shaky breath. “I don’t even know how to say this.”
Please, God don’t let her leave me.
This time I don’t say anything or offer encouragement. I keep her hand in mine and wait for her to tell me.
Charlie wipes under her eyes again and I hold my breath. “Ollie, I’m pregnant.”
That breath gets trapped in my lungs and I forget how to breathe entirely. I grab the sides of her face and kiss her hard. When I pull away she looks confused, but I can’t help but smile.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
She laughs nervously. “What? I just told you I’m pregnant.”
“And I thought you were going to leave me. You acted like what you were going to say was a bad thing.”
I’m still cupping her cheeks and she puffs out another breath. “You think it’s a good thing?”
I kiss her again. “Of course it’s a good thing. I want you to have all my babies, and we can start with this one.”
She hiccups a sob. “I thought you’d be upset. Things are still so new between us—”
I cut her off, shaking my head. “How’s this new? We’ve loved each other since we were kids. Whether I admitted or not, it’s always been true.” I press my lips to hers a few times, needing to be closer to her. “I love you and I want this baby as much as I would have wanted the last one.”
She starts to cry again, and I pull her closer. I wrap my arms around her, engulfing her with every ounce of assurance I can give and then kiss the side of her head. I’m terrified to ask my next question, but I do it anyway.
“You want this baby?”
Charlie doesn’t hesitate with her answer. “Yes.”
She presses her face into the crook of my neck, and I can feel the tears on my skin. I rub my hand up down her back and rest my cheek on the top of her head. She’s still shaking slightly and it’s so obvious how nervous she was to tell me.
She still thinks I would bail. That I would leave her alone again and not give a shit what the consequences are.
I need to change that. It’s clear to me what I need to do next. One last thing to lock this down and prove to her I’ve changed. She needs to trust I can take care of her and this baby.
My next question can wait. She needs to know it came from a place where I didn’t feel obligated. So she knows she’s everything I ever wanted, and how much I wish I’d had the strength to do it the first time.
I won’t make the same mistake twice. It just won’t be tonight.
Chapter 44
Fear
Charlotte - Now
I made an appointment for the baby later this week.
Oliver is being surprisingly supportive and completely adorable, but I’ve been terrified. Not because I’m afraid to be a mother. I think I can handle that part. What scares me is the unknown. Fertility issues are prevalent in my family, and with my first miscarriage still so heavy on my mind, I can’t help but worry about every little thing.
My sister went home yesterday. As much as I want her here to experience this with me, I’m happy to be alone with Ollie again. She makes things tense between us and I would like a calm environment.
I do understand her concerns. I have them too, and I did promise her I would take things slow with him. Even before I came back, Scarlett and I had that conversation. At the time I was convinced it would never happen, but she always insisted it would. It’s like she knew the binds that tie me him to me were still strong, still so impenetrable even the greatest tragedy couldn’t pry us apart. He’s my person. Even when I hate him, he’s the one I want to die with.
He asked me to meet him at his office so we could go to dinner. I’ve been uptown at the studio all day and the high school is only a short drive away.
I get lost in my thoughts on the way over. My day was surprising, and I’m left with an option I never considered. Jen’s closing the dance studio after the winter showcase. She said the lease is up and she wants to spend more time at home. It breaks my heart to hear that all of those girls will lose something they love. I know how much dancing meant to me when I was younger, and I would hate to see how I would have handled the loss.
It may seem crazy to think that way, but it’s true. Something you’re so passionate about begins to become a part of you. I miss dancing now even though I’ve only spent a short time away from it. This unexpected pregnancy will likely make my break longer, but to be honest—I don’t care.
I want this baby and I want Oliver more than I want my next breath. Suddenly my dream of dancing on a grand stage doesn’t matter so much anymore. I’d be perfectly content to stay here and make a life with him, even if it meant I never danced again. I love him that much.
As confident as I am, it scares the shit of me. My hands are shaking when I pull into the faculty parking lot behind the building. I smile when I remember how Ollie used to park back here when he wasn’t allowed to. No matter how many times they told him he couldn’t, he still managed to find a way to justify breaking that rule.
It puts a smile on my face as I get out of my car and walk toward the entrance. Ollie’s office is on the other side of the building, but this is the only door unlocked after classes let out. I catch Hunter coming down the hallway and give him a small wave.
“Hey,” he says, smiling and walking toward me. We stop outside of the Art room and he nods behind him. “Ollie’s not in his office.”
“Where is he? We’re meeting for dinner.”
Hunter hesitates and I start to get nervous. “He’s on the field.”
I remain confused by his expression. “Is practice running late?”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s been over for an hour now.”
“Then what’s he doing?”
“He had a rough day.”
My heart picks up a notch. He’s stressed about the baby. He must be freaking out inside while acting like he’s totally happy. I take a shallow breath.
“Do you know why?”
He nods.
“Are you going to tell me?”
He looks down the hallway to make sure we’re alone
and then sighs. “He got an offer to coach football next season. Our coach is taking a job at the university, and he wants Ollie to replace him.”
The relief I want to feel isn’t there. I feel like an asshole for doubting him, but more importantly I know how hard he’s taking this. He would be perfect for that job but teaching something he couldn’t do himself would be too much for his pride. No matter how much he wants it.
“He would be an amazing football coach,” I say instead.
Hunter laughs. “He totally would. He’d be such a dick, but those guys would learn a lot.”
I’m smiling because it’s true. Ollie’s competitive drive is contagious. He may come off brash, but he always wanted his entire team to win. He’s a born leader and I know without a doubt that I’d follow him anywhere.
“I’ll talk to him.”
The field is illuminated by bright lights contrasting the dark sky. It takes a moment for me to spot him, but then I see a shadow coming around the bend of the track at a brisk pace. Ollie jogs toward me wearing only a pair of track pants. His cheeks are flushed from the cold, and his breaths come out in large clouds when he stops in front of me. He plants his hands on his hips, his chest heaving.
“Is it six already?”
I nod, unsure how to broach the subject.
“Sorry, I must have lost track of time.”
I step closer, my hands landing on the ice-cold skin of his waist. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he says, flashing a smile. “I’m totally fine.”
I’m about to call bullshit, but then he sighs and takes a step back from me. He ruffles his hair with his hand. “Okay, I’m lying.”
“I know. I was just waiting for you to admit it.”
He smiles again, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Instead of elaborating, he leans down and kisses me once before pulling away and walking toward the bleachers. I follow him to his gym bag sitting on the bench, and he reaches in for a hooded sweatshirt. I watch him pull it over his head and take a seat. He pats the spot beside him.
I comply, walking over and sitting down. He leans forward, still breathing heavier than normal.
“You talked to Hunter, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think I can do it.”
“Why not? You’re so talented. You could help those kids.”
Ollie remains quiet, messing with his hair again. He opens his mouth and then closes it without speaking, so I nudge his shoulder with mine.
“I know how hard it must be for you. I never wished for it to be taken away.” He finally turns to meet my eyes, so I keep going. “I mean it, Ollie. As angry as I was, I wanted you to live your dream.”
His jaw tightens and he turns away, facing forward again. “I know it’s fucked up, but I blamed you.”
His confession surprises me, but I don’t say anything to interrupt.
“I needed someone to blame so I could feel better. I lost everything and that included you. I felt like you abandoned me without a fight.” He turns to me again, taking my hand. “It was wrong of me to be so selfish.”
“It’s okay,” I say, giving his hand a squeeze. “You deserve this chance to do what you love again.”
His eyes drift to our hands as he moves his thumb across my knuckles. “I can’t make this decision without you.” He looks up at me. “What if you want to go back to New York? I know you’ll still want to dance after the baby is born.”
“Well, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about. Jen is closing the studio after the showcase, and I was thinking about taking over the lease.”
His brows rise with shock. “Really? You want to stay here?”
“Of course I do.”
He pulls back, sitting up straighter. “But you worked so hard for this. I saw you on that stage in the city. That’s your dream.”
His concern for me makes my heart swell. Only I don’t feel like that anymore.
“That’s true, but I think sometimes dreams can change. I’ll still get to dance if I stay here, and more importantly, I get to have a family with you. That’s all I ever wanted.”
He leans over and kisses me, allowing his lips to linger on mine. “That’s what I want, too.”
His expression turns thoughtful for a moment as his eyes focus on the goalpost across the field.
“I loved to watch you play.” I say, breaking the silence again. “And not just because it was you. It was like your presence was magnetic. People were always drawn to you, especially when you were on that field.”
He runs his hand along the side of his face, smirking. “Are you sure it has nothing to do with this? I mean, you can’t deny perfection.”
I shove him playfully in the shoulder and laugh. “I’m trying to be serious. You know you’re gorgeous.”
His arms snake around my waist and he pulls me over to his lap. I snuggle into his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.
Ollie releases a breath, running his hand up and down my back. “I’m nothing compared to you, darlin.”
“I will never believe that,” I whisper.
He tilts his head to me and starts to kiss me slowly while cradling the back of my head with his hand. It’s not something I can control when his mouth is that close to mine. When those low groans emanate from his throat, I pull back. Only because I know if I don’t, we’ll be in the field house recreating some of my favorite post-game memories. Now’s not the time for that.
“You really think I can do this?” he asks, running his thumb across my cheek.
My eyebrows knit together. “You honestly think that you can’t? Ollie, you can do anything. I’ve never seen you be afraid.”
“I am.” Hearing it out loud finally makes it seem more real. Honest.
“I’ll be right here with you the whole time. We can navigate through this together.”
His hand drifts to my stomach and a smile plays on his lips. “He’s going to be a champion, too.”
I laugh. “How do you know it’s a boy? It could be a girl.”
Ollie gives me a look like I’m crazy. “He was created from my sperm, which is basically pure testosterone.” He gives me a confident nod. “It’s a boy.”
“If you say so.” I give him a quick peck on the cheek and slide off his lap. I lower my hand down to him. “Come on. I’m starving.”
Ollie smiles, taking my hand and standing up from the bench. He slings his bag over his shoulder and then laces his fingers with mine. “Let’s go. My son’s probably hungry too.”
Chapter 45
Everything
Oliver - Now
With the last piece of my plan finally in place, I take the short drive over to Charlie’s house. I’ve spent the past week putting all of this together, and it’s finally as close to perfect as it can get. I just hope she likes it.
I told her we were going to dinner at the lodge and to dress casual. She’s waiting for me at the door, her hair pulled up in a messy bun and sporting a hoodie and sweatpants. She opens the door as I approach, an apologetic smile on her lips.
“I’m sorry I’m not ready. I’ve been really sick today.”
I lean in and kiss her softly. “That’s okay, darlin’. You can go like this.”
She gives me a questioning look. “I look like I just rolled out of bed. I can’t go to the lodge dressed like this.”
I smile. “We’re not going to the lodge.”
“Then where are we going?”
My grin widens. “It’s a surprise.”
Charlie doesn’t look convinced and I start to panic. “Uh, maybe I should put some jeans on.”
I take her hand and kiss her palm. “You look perfect, baby. It’s just going to be you and me.”
She still looks hesitant for a moment, but then smiles. “Okay.”
Grinning to myself, I lace my fingers with hers and lead her to the truck. After helping her into her seat, I jog around the front to climb in the drivers’ side.
&nb
sp; “You ready?” I ask, gripping the steering wheel with a wicked grin.
She laughs a little. “As I’ll ever be.”
We only drive about a mile down the road before I pull off to the side, right before the bridge that leads to Cherry Hill. She looks genuinely confused.
“This is where we’re going?”
I shake my head as I reach behind the seat and grab the wooden box I stashed there earlier. I set it gently on her lap and she smiles.
“Don’t open it yet,” I say when her fingertips reach for the lid. “I need to explain first.”
She bites her bottom lip and folds her hands on top of the box in a silent promise.
I take a breath. “The first time you told me that you loved me was on this bridge. I should have said it back, but I let my irrational fears prevent me from doing that.” I reach for her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I know, Ollie. And I forgive you.”
I kiss the top of her hand. “Now you’ll never have to question my feelings for you. Anytime you doubt my love for you, all you have to do is open that box and you’ll have your answer.”
She smiles wider. “I can open it?’
I nod as the contents of my stomach swirl around so fast I fear I may lose them.
Tentatively she peels back the lid to expose hundreds of pieces of folded paper. She plucks the first one from the box and reads it slowly. “It says, ‘I love you.’” She digs deeper and pulls out another. “Do they all say this?”
I shrug. “Most of them.”
Charlie grabs one more and lets out a laugh. She turns it around so I can read it too. It reads, One free ticket for love.
Leaning across the seat, I nibble on her earlobe. “Hey, there are many ways I can show my love for you.” I brush my lips along her neck. “And that one’s reusable. Just so you know.”
