by C. Davis
Paying the price
Sinners & Saints: Book 2
By
C. Davis
~Colton~
Is there hope for someone like me?
I've done bad things.
Committed crimes.
Harmed my family.
Hurt the only woman that stood by my side—the only woman who loved me.
I ruined her—ruined us.
Can I find redemption and get her back?
Find my way back and be the man I used to be?
Be the man she needs me to be?
I did the crime—now I'm paying the price.
It won't be easy, but I'm going to win back her trust.
~Jenna~
What do I do when the man I love leaves me pregnant and alone?
I'm lost—don't know what to do.
Do I wait for him, or move on with my life?
My heart aches for him.
I'm bleeding out.
Every time I think I can move on, he shows his face.
He's in my dreams. Every damn time I close my eyes.
And each time I fall, there's another man who catches me.
A man who isn't the one who holds the key to my heart.
But this other man has secrets of his own.
Secrets that could hurt me.
Can I forgive the man I love, or do I move forward and try to forget him?
Chapter 1
__________
Jenna
I hated Colton—hated the fact he lied to me. I thought we were best friends—lovers. I guess not. How stupid I was to think he would actually return the feeling. I thought he loved me. It's been four months since he was hauled off to prison. Four long months of crying over the man I was still in love with. Four long months of knowing I was pregnant with Colton Davenport's child.
“Jenna, you need to eat something.” Chloe said, taking a seat next to me. Benjamin and Chloe have been great. They always try to get me to come with them to visit Colton, but I can't. I can't face him after everything that's happened.
“Chloe, I already ate this morning.” I replied, rubbing my belly.
“Jenna, Chloe and I are going to visit Colton this Thursday. We would like it if you came with us. He misses you.”
I shook my head, “I can't. I have a doctor's appointment.”
“I think you should tell him about the baby.” Benjamin said, a small frown forming on his face.
“No, he doesn't deserve to know about his child.”
Benjamin reached into his jacket and pulled out an envelope, “Here, this is for you.”
“What is this?” I asked.
“Please, just read it—for me.” Chloe said, placing her hand over my hand.
I rubbed my belly and sighed, “Fine. I'll do it for you, since you've helped me through everything.”
I held the letter in my hand and unfolded it. Taking a deep breath, I began to read.
Dear Jenna,
I know you don't want to talk to me—to see me, and I don't blame you. You gave me everything and I just threw it away. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. It kills me to know you're hurting because of me. I think about you every hour of every day. I miss you. I miss your touch... your kisses. Most of all, I miss holding you in my arms. I know I messed up. I pray that you come see me every morning and night. You might not believe me, but I didn't kill that woman. Hell, I didn't even know that my mother's sister was dead. However, I did harm my sister. I know you hate me, but I still love you so much. I'm a bad person, baby. I've committed crimes. Hurt my family. Hurt the only woman who stood by my side—the only woman who loved me. I have no excuses for the things I've done, but you have to understand—I did it to protect you. I couldn't let my father hurt you, not after what you've been through. It's been a long road for me, but I'm slowly getting there. I hope you're doing well, baby. Any day now, my father should be facing his Judgement Day. My sister and Benjamin have come to see me once every few weeks. I'm working on setting things right with my sister. She's slowly finding it in her heart to forgive me. I don't deserve her forgiveness, but she's giving it to me. Benjamin wasn't so forgiving, but as long as Chloe is happy—he's happy. Here, I sit in my cell and I'm looking at your picture. I kiss it every night before I go to sleep—just, so I can feel close to you. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry I didn't come clean and tell you the truth. Most of all, I'm sorry I let you down. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me. I just wanted to write this letter to you to tell you something. Not a day goes by that my heart doesn't ache for you. Visiting day is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Chloe and Benjamin are coming to see me. I really hope to see you come with them. It would be nice to see you—would love to see you.
Love,
Colton
P.S. I love you, Jenna.
“Why—why do you do this to me, Colton?” I whispered, tears streaming down my face.
I wiped my face and sighed. I didn't know if I could force myself to face the man I hated and loved. I couldn't let him know I was pregnant with his child. I just don't see how Chloe could be so forgiving. Not after all Colton had done to her.
Benjamin placed his hand on my shoulder, “Jenna, let me and Chloe take you home.”
“I can't go back there—not right now.”
“Jenna—you need to rest.”
“You don't understand—there’s too many memories of him there.”
My chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. If I went back to my house, I'd break completely. Everything in that damned house reminded me of Colton. His scent still lingered. My pillow still has the faint smell of his cologne. I couldn't bring myself to wash the pillowcase. I was angry. So pissed at myself for getting involved with him.
“Ow.” I held onto the table to keep from falling. Benjamin was quick to steady me and help me in a chair.
“What's wrong?” He asked.
“I'm fine. I'm just tired.” I lied.
“Are you—”
“Yes!” I hissed, “I wish everyone would just leave me alone. I—need some time alone.”
“You'll call me or Chloe if you need us?”
I sighed, “Yes. I promise you I'll be fine.”
___
I stepped up to the doors of the church and let out a breath. It had been months since I stepped foot in here. I couldn't knowing Colton was gone. I pushed through the doors, taking a deep breath. It looked the same as I remembered it. Only one thing was different—Colton wasn't here. I let out a choked sob as I looked up to the wall. His picture was there—haunting me. It already haunted my dreams, but seeing it stare back to me made me realize. I was truly alone. I lost my best friend—the man I loved and hated.
“Miss Bradley?” I heard a voice call to me.
I whispered to the picture, pretending it was him. “I hate that I love you, Colton Davenport. I hate you did this—most of all, I loathe you because you used me. You used my heart and played it like a fiddle.”
“Are you okay, Miss Bradley?”
“No.”
“Do I need to call someone for you?”
“I'm sorry, but I shouldn't have come.” I turned and ran away from the church. Everything was crashing down. Every emotion. Each time I spent with the sexy bastard. All the times he held me in his arms. I ran to the edge of the church yard and sunk to my knees, “Please—God, what do I do? How do I move forward from this? Please, tell me—just give me a sign.”
“Jenna, are you okay?” Tommy, Jeff's cousin, asked as he helped me to my feet.
I blushed as his rough hands reached under my arms, helping me up. “Tommy, what are you doing out here?”
“I h
eard you crying and thought someone was hurting you.” Tommy rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“I'm okay—just—I'm okay.”
“You're not okay. I can see the pain in your eyes, sweetheart.”
“You're right.” I pursed my lips, “I'm a fucking wreck.”
“Come on, Jenna. Let me take you to get something to eat—take your mind off Colton.”
Chapter 2
__________
Colton
If I could take everything back, I would. The guilt was eating me up inside. I wished I could go back in time and do it over again. I would be stronger—fight back. Stand up to my father and protect the innocent involved. Most importantly, I would come clean with Jenna.
I’m sorry, babe.
I’m so very sorry I disappointed you.
My father is awaiting his fate, while I’m serving a three-year term. The cops offered me a deal. If I testified against my father, I would only be here a few years. It could’ve been so much worse for me. I was lucky enough to get a good cell mate. My mate, Javier, was serving for a hacking charge. He didn’t go into detail, but said he hacked into the FBI’s system. Long story short, he got caught.
I laid on the bottom bunk, tracing Jenna’s picture. I missed her so much it hurt. I kissed the picture and whispered, “I love you, Jenna. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Javier was just finishing up his push-ups when he glanced over to me. “Is that her—the one you write letters to?”
“Yes.”
Javier stood up and asked, “Can I see?”
I handed him Jenna’s picture, and he looked, handing it back. “She’s pretty.”
“She is. It’s just too bad I fucked everything up.”
“Maybe there’s still hope. Has she written you back yet?”
I frowned, “No.”
“Don’t give up. If she loved you and you loved her, that kind of a connection never dies.”
“Love.” I corrected him.
“Huh?”
“You said loved. I still love her and will never stop. She was the only one who stood by my side—no matter what everyone thought of me.”
“Well, have you tried to call her?”
“Can’t yet. I have a few friends coming today. They’re supposed to get me a phone card, so I can call her. Speaking of, it’s almost that time.”
“You’re hoping she comes with them, right?”
“A man can only hope. I wish she would, but I know—she’s not going to show. I can feel it in my bones.”
___
I looked up and saw Benjamin and Chloe walking towards me. They took a seat in front of me and gave me a warm smile. I have no idea why Chloe forgave me, but am very grateful for it. And Benjamin, he only forgave me for my sister. He cleared his throat, “Colton, I—”
“She’s not coming, is she?”
“I’m sorry, man. She’s still hurt.”
Chloe reached over and patted my hand, “She’ll come around, brother. It’s just going to take some time.”
Benjamin pursed his lips, “There’s something you need to know about her. She doesn’t want you to know, but I just can’t keep it from you.”
“What is it? She sick or something?”
Chloe muttered under her breath, “Or something.”
“She’s—pregnant.”
I exhaled, “What?”
“You’re going to be a daddy, man. Jenna’s pregnant with your child.”
“Shit, that’s why she hasn’t come to see me. Right?”
“She is under direct orders from the doctor to take it easy. She needs rest and absolutely no stress.”
“She’s okay—the baby?”
“Jenna and the baby are doing just fine.”
“Whew.” I let out a sigh of relief.
“I left a phone card at the desk, so you can call her.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me. I can see it in your eyes, Chloe.”
Chloe nodded, “It’s just—Tommy has been spending a lot of time with her.”
I clenched my fists and cursed, “Fucking Tommy.”
Benjamin and Chloe exchanged glances. Chloe leaned forward, “Benjamin and I are getting married. We’re going to wait until you’re out to have the wedding.”
“No, don’t wait—”
“I want you to walk me down the isle, Colton.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I would love to have you by my side to watch us tie the knot.”
“You cool with this, man?”
Benjamin nodded and chuckled, “It’s cool. Sure, we’ve bumped heads in the past, but it would be an honor if you did this for us. Consider this our wedding present from you.”
“Ok. I’ll do it, but it’s going to be awhile until I get out of here. Can you tell Jenna something for me?”
“Of course.” Chloe said, squeezing my hand.
“Tell her, I miss her and I love her.”
“We’ve got to go, but before we go we have some more news. Jenna isn’t the only one expecting. I’m pregnant, brother. You’re going to be an uncle and a daddy.”
“Wow. Even though Jenna didn’t come with you, this is the best news I’ve gotten since I’ve been locked up.”
“We’ll see you next Tuesday. And Colton, you look good—healthy.”
“Bye guys. Love you, little sister and congratulations to both of you.”
A baby.
I was going to be a father.
And, Tommy is closing in on my girl.
I needed to fix that.
Very soon.
I walked back to my cell and sighed. I refuse to let Tommy take away my woman and raise my child. No way in fucking hell would that happen. Tommy was Jeff’s cousin, a damn pussy. He always wanted what I had. And that someone was Jenna—my girl.
Chapter 3
__________
Jenna
Tommy ordered burgers and fries at the local diner. He was always trying his hardest to cheer me up. Tried to get my mind off Colton. He smiled, showing off his dimples as he sipped his Coke. I took another bite of my burger and moaned. It was so juicy, bursting with flavor. Every time I looked up at him, he was looking at me with a warm smile. It was like he was looking into my soul. I laid my burger down, taking a fry and stuffing my face.
“So, have you thought of any names yet?” He asked.
I frowned at the question, “No.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be keeping your mind off him.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine.”
“You can lie to Benjamin and Chloe, but I can tell when you’re lying.”
“Tommy—”
“Jenna, let’s just eat and I’ll take you back home.”
“Tommy?”
“Yes?”
“How come I’ve never seen you with another woman? I mean, are you gay? It’s okay if you are.”
“I’m not gay.”
“Then, why haven’t you had a girlfriend?”
“Because—the girl I like doesn’t even know I’m alive. She sees me as a friend. Just a stupid friend.”
“Well, she sounds like an idiot.”
“Are you finished?”
“Yes, I’m so full. I bet I gained ten pounds just eating that.”
“You look fine. You’re supposed to be eating more.”
“I’m going to get so fat.”
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Thinking so low of yourself. You’re beautiful no matter what.”
Tommy came around the table and helped me up. He was so close that I could feel his breath fanning my face. I could feel my face heating up as he reached up and brushed his finger across my bottom lip.
He whispered, “You had a little something on your face.”
Being so close to him was making me feel so hot. Maybe it was just the pregnancy hormones making me feel this way. Yeah, that had to be it.
Tommy c
leared his throat and said, “Come on, let’s get you back home.”
Tommy drove me back to my house and walked me to the door. He gave me a hug and whispered, “Call me if you need anything—anything at all. I mean it, just text me and I’ll be right here.”
