Silly Plotos and the Golden Eggcups
By Theo Hitchcock
Cover image by Dom McKenzie
Copyright 2016 Theo Hitchcock
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Contents
Chapter One: Silly
Chapter Two: France
Chapter Three: Spain
Chapter Four: Italy
Chapter Five: Japan
Chapter Six: America
Chapter Seven: Scotland
Chapter Eight: Home
About the Author
Chapter One
Many years ago, nestled in the rolling hills of England’s beautiful green countryside, lay the small village of Beautrosville. In a small white house with a thatched roof in the middle of this idyllic rural village lived an egg called Silly Plotos. Every morning, dressed in his favourite blue trousers and brown shoes, Silly stepped out of his blue front door to breathe in the lovely fresh air. Silly’s best friend, Lloyd, lived opposite in an almost identical house. Each morning, dressed in dark green trousers and brown shoes, Lloyd walked out of his green front door and strolled across to Silly’s house so they could cook up their favourite meal: a full English breakfast, complete with sausages, bacon, eggs, tomato, baked beans, mushrooms and hash browns.
Beautrosville was a lovely place to be. The sun always shone, and the villagers were always happy. Everyone knew everyone, and every single egg had their role. There were hunters, farmers, miners, shepherds, soldiers, blacksmiths, doctors and teachers. The rulers of the village, Lord and Lady McBeaut, lived in the centre of the village in a castle. Its stone walls rose high above the deep moat that surrounded it, and armed guards patrolled the turrets and fortifications. The rulers loved their community, and the community loved them back.
Every day after their delicious breakfast, Silly and Lloyd would go hunting and fishing out in the countryside to provide food for themselves and the village. In the afternoon, they went out into the meadows, where Lloyd sat and painted pictures, and Silly lay down imagining great adventures. Life was great.
Silly was also in love. He was in love with Lord and Lady McBeaut’s daughter, Princess Nortissia, who was the most beautiful egg in the whole village. She wore a pretty white dress with gold embroidery, and a silver tiara on top of her head. Her hair was as golden and shiny as the jewellery she wore on her wrists and around her neck. She loved Silly too. They had grown up as friends and had known each other for many years. They wanted to spend the rest of their lives together in Beautrosville with their loved ones. At the right time, and with the permission of Lord McBeaut, Silly would ask the Princess to marry him.
One day, as Silly and Lloyd were returning home from the forest, they were summoned to the castle by Lord McBeaut’s trusted servants, the identical twins Goif and Gwaf, who were also their friends. Dressed in matching green and red chequered trousers, the twins led Silly and Lloyd over the castle drawbridge. Silly wondered what Lord McBeaut would want with them as they arrived in his study. All four walls were lined with thousands of books, right up to the ceiling. He was standing by the fireplace with a troubled look on his face. Just like Goif and Gwaf, he wore green and red, the McBeaut family colours, with a dark cloak falling from his shoulders to the floor. His thin grey hair and beard shone like silver as the fire flickered beside him.
“Welcome, gentlemen,” he said, the sound of his low voice booming around the dimly lit room. “Make yourselves at home.”
He sat the two friends down and told them a story. It was the story of the Golden Eggcups...
“Years ago, when I was very young, Beautrosville was one of the greatest and wealthiest villages in all of England. My father ruled, just as I do today. Locked up in the highest room in the highest tower of the castle were seven ancient Eggcups, each one identical to the next and made from solid gold. They were forged from the mines outside our village, and had been passed down in my family for generations, ensuring the wealth and power of Beautrosville would be never-ending. As long as the Eggcups were safe, so were we. But rulers from all corners of the earth had heard of our great treasure and came in search of these riches. They threatened to attack and lay siege to our village with their foreign armies if we did not hand over the relics. My father was an egg of democracy, not violence. So all but one of the Eggcups were lost. Each of the six invaders took one, but great bloodshed and destruction was avoided in process. My father saved this village and everyone in it. But now I want those Eggcups back! I want what is rightfully ours and to restore this village to its former glory!”
Silly’s mission was simple: retrieve the six lost Golden Eggcups from those who had taken them all those years ago. If he returned triumphant, Lord McBeaut would grant him his wish – to marry the Princess. He would gain the respect and gratitude of his ruler, and would win his lover’s hand in marriage. They would all live happily ever after, and the village of Beautrosville would become an even greater place to live.
He accepted the challenge his leader had set him, and Goif and Gwaf were ordered to accompany him. The next day, after a good night’s sleep and a big breakfast, they would set off. At last Silly and Lloyd would get to go on a real life adventure! One that would take them to places they could not possibly imagine...
Chapter Two
The next day Silly, accompanied by his great friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf, set off for lands far away to retrieve the Golden Eggcups. No one knew how long they would be gone for, or what perils they would face. Would they ever have a full English breakfast again? Would Silly ever see the Princess again?
The whole village came out to see them off. The Princess could not hide her sadness, but Silly promised her that he would return home triumphant, and in one piece. She blew him kisses as she said goodbye. Lord McBeaut had given Silly a paper scroll listing the places where each Eggcup would be found, and had also entrusted Silly with his own weapon, Eggscalibur, the sword his father had passed down to him not so long ago. With his friends beside him, and Eggscalibur in his hand, Silly was sure he could complete his task.
The brave heroes waved goodbye to the village, and the epic quest had begun. Silly consulted the scroll his leader had given him.
“The first stop on our journey is Paris!” he proclaimed, to shouts of happiness from his three accomplices.
They went south to the coast, and caught a lift across the channel in a fishing boat with some local eggs who were on their way to France. When they reached dry land, they crossed fields, forests and rivers, and on the morning of their third day of travelling, the silhouette of France’s capital city appeared faintly on the horizon.
They entered the city, winding their way through the cobbled streets, with creamy white coloured buildings and pointed roofs towering above them. They made straight for the royal palace, where they knew one of the Golden Eggcups was to be found. They approached the vast palace gates and were stopped by the guards who wore navy blue berets and shiny breastplates. They pointed their spears at the visitors as they looked them up and down. Having explained the circumstances, Silly and the group were led into the giant palace and into the great hall. Its curved ceiling arched high above them, with murals and paintings stretching across the stone walls. Great chandeliers hung downwards from above and flaming torches lined the red carpet th
at extended from one end to the other. At the end of the red walkway on the other side of a vast banquet table, King Eric of France sat proudly on his throne. He had brown hair combed to one side, and a thin moustache. He wore a dark blue silk cloak with golden lace. His shiny crown perched on the top of his head. Silly proclaimed:
“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”
The King sniggered: “I am one of ze wealthiest eggs on earth. Your silly little Eggcup is nothing to me. You may have it back, but on one condition. You have to complete ze task I set you.”
He turned to face his advisors, and after a moment of discussion, he explained that Silly and the others would have to win an eating competition to earn back the Eggcup!
“Send for Cedric du l’Oeuf immediately!” he ordered.
Minutes later, the giant doors of the hall opened. There, outlined against the sunlight, was the fattest egg anyone had ever seen. Silly and his friends gasped. How on earth would they devour more food than this monster? Silly and Lloyd were used to gobbling down full English breakfasts every day, but this would surely be a whole new level of eating! The giant egg waddled down the red carpet towards them. His tights were as red as his puffy cheeks and his striped blue and white shirt bulged outwards. He looked like he was about to burst.
“Bring out ze food!” shouted the King.
Dozens of servants hurried out of the giant wooden doors on either side of the hall carrying huge silver trays full of France’s most famous delicacy: snails!
The contestants took their place at the banquet table – Cedric sat opposite, his belly dwarfing Silly and the others. There was surely no hope! Two mountains of snails lay between them, as well as flasks of red wine. Silly peered between the mounds of food as Cedric twiddled his giant moustache and licked his lips in anticipation.
He began at an incredible pace. Snail after snail disappeared into his mouth, whilst Silly and his friends nibbled tentatively. Snails were far less appetising than the hash browns and sausages they were used to back in Beautrosville! Cedric grinned and giggled as the slimy snails disappeared into his mouth. Every few minutes he stopped to wash down the food with a great gulp of red wine that was poured for him by a servant.
Half an hour later, Goif and Gwaf had practically collapsed they were so full. But between the four of them, they had kept up with their opponent, and even he was starting to struggle. Tray after tray had been emptied onto the table as the battle continued. The last few mouthfuls were unbearable. Lloyd’s head lay flat on the table, unable to move. Silly was moments from giving up. Cedric’s pace had got slower and slower. He burped and spluttered and moments later he could barely speak. Suddenly, he groaned in pain and stopped:
“I can’t eat anymore!” he squealed.
He fell backwards off his chair and the whole building shook as he hit the polished stone floor. King Eric’s face dropped in astonishment. Silly and the others were too full to celebrate, instead letting out grunts of relief that the experience was over. The King’s head servant raised Silly’s hand to declare him and his companions as winners! Eric sneered in disgust as his servants dragged Cedric away. The King accepted defeat and ordered for the relic to be brought in.
“Congratulations,” he muttered, reluctantly.
Two servants returned moments later clutching the Golden Eggcup, which they handed over to Silly. It was as big as a drinking goblet, with images of warriors and the castle of Beautrosville engraved on the outside. It glistened under the grand chandeliers as Silly stared at it in awe. Now he understood why Lord McBeaut wanted so dearly to have these Eggcups back!
As a token of respect for their guts and determination, King Eric gave the victorious gang a huge basket of baguettes for their onward journey: “Good luck on ze rest of your quest,” he said.
The friends slowly but triumphantly walked out of the palace. Night was falling and they decided to rest in a nearby inn which they found not far from the southern edge of the city. The first Golden Eggcup had been retrieved and was now safely inside the big woollen sack they carried with them. They had eaten a lifetime’s worth of snails, but it had been worth every bite!
Chapter Three
Our heroes journeyed south from Paris until they crossed the mountains of the Pyrenees and into Spain. They trekked through the dusty plains under the intense heat of the Spanish sun. Eventually they arrived on the northern outskirts of the capital city, Madrid. Here they would find their next port of call – the villa of King Albondiga!
The sun was setting and the sky was pink and orange. King Albondiga’s villa was huge. White stone walls encircled it, and the huge wooden doors towered above Silly and his friends. They were led into a courtyard by two of the King’s guards who were dressed in red and yellow chequered outfits, with long swords hanging from their belts. Silly stood there looking at the beautiful palm trees and an extravagant fountain that lay before them. Under the arches of the courtyard on either side, servants carrying food and drink hurried to and from the main building, which was as white as the walls that surrounded it.
Just like he did in Paris, Silly demanded to see the King immediately. The guards led the travellers into the dining area. The King and some friends sat on a bed of coloured cushions eating tapas and fruit, watching Flamenco dancers pirouetting around them. The sound of guitars and hand clapping bounced off the walls. The room was deep red and in each corner a flaming torch burned bright. The flickering light and the shadows made King Albondiga’s jet black hair and beard seem even darker. His skin was tanned and leathery. He lay lazily on his side, with one hand resting on his large belly. He wore a smart red and yellow tunic with sandals on his feet. Silly approached him and announced:
“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”
“Aha! I have always wondered whether anyone would come to get back the lost relic,” replied the Spaniard in his gruff voice. “Tonight we drink wine, eat food, and watch Flamenco. Tomorrow at midday, Senor Silly, you shall have your chance to get back the precious Golden Eggcup. It will be some challenge, believe me!”
He threw Silly a cask of red wine, and gestured for the four travellers to sit down.
“Enjoy!” he exclaimed.
Silly and his companions ate, drank and danced the night away. They had an Eggcup to win back in the morning, but they could not turn down the Spanish King’s hospitality! Goif and Gwaf joined in the partying, flinging themselves around the dancefloor to great cheers and applause from the Spaniards. Silly and Lloyd sat on their cushions, wondering what task lay ahead the next day.
The following morning, Silly and the others were escorted from the King’s villa towards the city centre. They had sore heads from the previous night, and the blisteringly hot temperature was making them all the more uncomfortable. They had never felt heat like it! Shortly before midday, they arrived at the Plaza de Toros, the venue for their next challenge: bullfighting!
As they entered the sandy arena in the centre of the vast, circular stadium, the roar of the Spanish crowd hit them like a wall of noise. Hundreds of eggs filled the stands that rose high above them. They booed and hissed as the four English heroes looked back at them. Goif and Gwaf in particular were alarmed by the intimidating atmosphere, staying as close as possible to each other and shaking with nerves. The sun blazed down from the cloudless blue sky. Under a shady cover in the first row of the stadium sat King Albondiga. He looked down on them, and then stood up to address the crowd and his visitors.
He proclaimed: “You and you alone shall face this challenge, Senor Silly. If you succeed, you shall have your precious Golden Eggcup back.”
Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf were filled with pure relief. They knew that Silly was the best man for the job. They wish
ed him good luck as they climbed over the barriers and out of the way, leaving him alone on the sand. King Albondiga threw down a red cape. Dust swirled around Silly’s feet as he picked it up and threw it over his shoulder. Silly was brave; probably the bravest egg in the whole of Beautrosville, but right now he was afraid. He glanced at his friends in the stands, and thought of England, the village, and his beautiful Princess. He felt a very long way from home.
“Release the bull!” bellowed King Albondiga.
The crowd roared in anticipation as Silly gathered his thoughts and focused on the mighty task ahead.
The rusty wooden gate at the opposite end of the arena creaked open, and the crowd fell silent. Silly stood there nervously, with only the red cape in his hand. He wiped the sweat from his brow. Suddenly, an enormous bull charged out of the darkness and thundered towards Silly with its horns pointing forward like gigantic white daggers. All Silly could do was jump out of the way at the last second. He was no match for a bull this size, so he would have to be cunning to defeat it. He would have to use the speed and agility that he used so often when hunting and fishing back home in England. Silly dangled the red cape and the bull charged once more, but again Silly swerved out of its way.
He skilfully began to do it time after time, again and again.
Eventually, the beast began to tire. The crowd continued to “oooh” and “aaaah” each time it brushed past Silly, its horns just inches from him. Silly had patiently waited for his opportunity, and it was coming ever closer. The bull trotted towards him, sapped of all its energy from its endless charging and the heat of the sun. Silly advanced and threw the flag over the creature’s head, and with all his might, punched it right in the middle of the nose! The crowd gasped as the great bull thudded against the sand. The Spanish King, like the bull, was stunned.
Silly was victorious! The crowd began to cheer and clap as his friends ran on to congratulate him. The applause was deafening as Silly was raised into the air on the shoulders of his companions. He was exhausted. King Albondiga was very impressed. He too started to applaud Silly’s magnificent achievement. He clicked his fingers and the Golden Eggcup was brought out for all to see. Silly raised it in the air and it shone bright in the Spanish sunshine. As he placed it in the big woollen sack, the bull had only just woken up!
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