I understand why he would say that but, “We need to relocate them too, and hide their identity. Which will be tricky, but let me think on it, and I’ll come up with a plan.”
I’m not saying no. He has a point to wait, I’m just not sure why I’m doing this. Going through all this trouble when I’m nothing to her.
We sit together for a bit longer before Spider leans forward. “What is it, Tank? What are you stuck on?”
“I don’t even know. We fucked a few times, but I want more.” Setting down my drink, I run my hands through my hair. “I don’t think she gives two fucks about me though. Never had this reaction before and it’s got my dick all twisted. And let me tell you, backed up blue balls is the lowest of low.”
Spider barely cracks a smirk. “Why can’t you have something less complicated with her for now?”
“That’s what I think Blade was trying to say, but I don’t know why I am not pursuing it harder. It pissed me off when she questioned me, when I found out who she really was, that she’s married, and now this anonymous little tip about this unknown family...”
“You got to let the past go, Tank. Kat isn’t your past. She’s not the cute little college girl you were going to marry all those years ago and have a cute little family with, only to find out that she was only fucking you, and you were the other guy.”
I know he’s right, but it makes the unknown a scary place, sitting on the other end. She knows exactly who I am.
He takes a breath before continuing, “Her case is a lot more complicated. She told us from the beginning that she would only tell us what she could, when she was ready, for a reason. She’s hiding but not from you. Faith, brother, learn to have faith.”
Spider taps my shoulder on his way out, leaving me alone with yet more questions than answers.
Throughout my work day, I think about everything and every piece of wisdom shared with me, and let it all percolate. Unfortunately, by the time I’m ready to leave, we all get called into Church. More shit has gone down, more drama to deal with and handle. Solo and Pawn follow me into the meeting room, and we all take a seat.
Blade and Axl take a call-in meeting from Fuego, then conference in the Elko and Las Vegas chapters. Fuego’s voice sounds low and broken as he tells the clubs where Jenn has been and why. She tried to kill herself because of the club. Jenn was raped during the club war and she held it in to protect us all. The girl took one for the team when she shouldn’t have had to.
All heads in the room hang from the pain she has endured alone all this time. None of us protected her or realized that she needed help. What if it was too late and she would succeed in killing herself?
James, Axl and Blade wrestle with themselves as they try to hold in the anger. We all agree to protect her, and avenge her, and be a hundred percent on her side to see this through.
It’s fucked up, I know, but it comes to me that Kat is too holding in her own extreme pain and protecting everyone against all odds. And she doesn’t have a single person to protect her. Shit, my stomach sinks at the thought, and my gut tells me it’s true.
How do you tell a person you just fucked all your life secrets? What does she really owe me? Not a goddamn thing.
I’ve been really unfair to her and couldn’t see past my own bullshit. Usually, I am the man at your back, but I left her alone for months. Given her background, I could have done some real damage between us. I never even opened my eyes past my own doubts to see it. I never gave her myself in order to build her up.
I am going to team build the fuck out of her until I have a really good reason not to be on her team anymore.
New plan, new day, no more excuses and no more running for either of us. I’m getting behind these girls.
I have to hold my chuckle in because now is not the time to tell them a pun.
Starting over, I clear my mind and throat. I am going to support these chicks and be their hero, and I’m going to make their demons fucking pay for fucking with my bitches.
And… I am back to where I was before.
Kat
Tami and I made dinner together tonight. It’s nice to have company even though we have a hard time telling each other about our pasts. Both of us still carry our own problems, but it works because we respect each other’s space. Maybe one day I can trust people again, but I don’t know when. Tami makes it easier to want to try.
She places a salad and spaghetti on her plate, and I do the same. Together, we sit on the couch to watch some garbage reality T.V. I just like hearing her laugh. I hate the show, but I suffer through the drama because I think she missed that part growing up.
The front door swings open and I choke on the noodles I just shoved into my mouth. My heart hammers in my chest before that big stupid asshole barges in. Tank.
Noodles are sticking out and I choke on whatever managed to slide down my throat. It must be really classy looking with food halfway in and out of my mouth and choking while fighting to stay alive and breathing.
“Hello, ladies!”
He slams the door shut and then notices my dilemma of dying. I bend over my plate and cough my food back out. Saliva drips uncontrollably with it. Tami gets up to help me, handing me a napkin and gently rubbing my back. If I wasn’t about to die, her touch would freak me out.
Tank runs over, standing in front of me with concerned puppy eyes. “Sorry, beautiful, I didn’t mean to scare you. It is hard to look at something so pretty and not get all choked up, babe, but don’t kill yourself over me.” His hands move to cover my mouth from spewing hateful words back, like, get the fuck out and why are you here?!
“Not in front of the kid. Let’s have a nice dinner, yeah?”
He doesn’t wait for me to respond but helps himself into the kitchen and walks out humming to himself and commenting, “I’m starving, K-love.” When he says ‘starving’ his eyes roam up and down my body.
Tami giggles at his theatrics and sits over in the La-Z-Boy, leaving the only available spot next to me on the couch, the little traitor. Tank sits down and tugs me along to sit right next to him. I swallow the large golf ball lodged in my throat. The alien feeling of something so normal feels so foreign that it’s just wrong.
Tank takes a forkful of food and slurps up the noodles. My eyes blink because words are just beyond me in this moment. He eats the salad and his French bread without any added sound effects. What’s his freaking deal?
Tami looks over to me and then Tank, bugging her eyes out saying, ‘Do you hear this?’ I reply with my eyes, ‘Loud and clear, I’m sitting right next to him!’
The distress builds and I can no longer hear the T.V., but only the large sucking noise coming from next to me. About the fifth bite into his spaghetti, I lose all my self-control from the obnoxious noise.
Reaching into my side holster, I rip out my gun and point it at his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I growl. “Make one more noise and I swear—”
Before the rest of the words can leave my mouth, Tank has a hand around the gun, then reaches up, twisting and taking it from my hand right before it goes off into the ceiling. I look up and there lays a bullet whole.
“You didn’t even have that on safety when you pointed it at my face, Kat!” Tank booms at me. “There is something seriously fucking wrong with you, woman.”
A lesser woman might’ve cowered at the scary angry biker man. But not me, no. I bust out laughing like I haven’t done in years. Years of pent up loneliness creeps out uncontrollably with each hysterical, therapeutic release. His honesty should be hurtful, but it is true.
Tank’s face relaxes and laughs with me after informing me, “You will never get your security deposit back for that, and I’m not fixing it for you either.”
He picks up his plate and finishes eating, minus the loud slurping, making a point to show me his smaller bites before shoving his fork into his mouth. My face relaxes, and I smile at the big dumbass.
Tami watches us with little hearts in her eyes w
hich makes me hope that a piece of me isn’t broken after all. If she can see it, can it be real? Can Tank be real?
He jokes around with her and gets caught up in the drama of the show with her. It makes me feel good that she has someone not so ice cold who can relate to her.
He makes me feel so good and so alive that it scares me. If Matias, my husband, could almost destroy me, what could Tank do to me?
Another few hours pass while we’re T.V. binging before Tami politely excuses herself, quietly standing up. Like a real sweetheart, Tank stands and gives her a hug goodnight.
“You doing okay, baby T? If there is anything you need, you come and talk to me, the big T. I will take care of it.”
Tami dies of laughter, a sound she doesn’t even make while watching this garbage, a sound of pure happiness. “Is this like I’m the little spoon and you’re the big T-spoon?” she giggles again.
“Yep, I’m your big brother, T-spoon. You come talk to me every once in a while, and check in, yeah?”
Tami dives for him and wraps her arms around him. She doesn’t let go for a minute, soaking him in. Tank naturally comforts and supports her, then pats her back and tells her, “Off to bed with you, lil’ T.”
She does just that, scampering off with light feet and a light heart. I want to be her so badly.
Tank dives back into the couch, scratching the floor with his weight. My eyes dart around the room, not sure how to navigate this now that we’re alone. I’ve never been in a situation like this, ever.
“How was your day, Kit Kat? You shoot anyone, or try to shoot anyone, other than me?” I shake my head no, and he bats his eyelashes, “Good, that means you really love the Road Dog then, and only him.”
I shake my head again but push him away, or I try to move the hulking man, shaking my head again. “Only you, Tank, can drive me bat shit crazy enough to do that.”
“Kat,” his voice drops serious. “I’m here for you too, when you are ready to trust me. I hope you tell me everything someday.”
His hand comes up and touches my face. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone and away.” He leans forward and kisses my lips so softly, I don’t even move.
My chest constricts with the gentle pain he’s inflicting on me. His strong fingers graze over my cheeks before he kisses me again. “Go to bed, baby, it’s late. I’m sleeping on the couch, unless you have a guest bedroom?”
I look at him, confused as to why he would be sleeping here.
“I’m not leaving you unprotected, you need me.”
The stubborn side of me wants to fight, to yell and scream. I get up from the couch and lead him to the other spare room that we have, then leave to go to my room, feeling so unsure of myself. Then there is the side that allows him, for now, to watch my back.
I tell myself it’s because of Tami, and I hope I’m right, that what I’m doing is the right thing, because I am so damn tired.
Chapter 29
Kat
We fall into an easy rhythm for the next few weeks. It’s almost a normal, domestic setting when Tank comes over every night, and, sometimes, he even cooks for us.
Little by little, he and Tami break my walls down. I start laughing at the stupid shows that entertain them, and I comment here and there how stupid they are together.
I think I love Tank just a tiny bit because of his softness that I’ve never seen or felt in my life.
Watching him with Tami scares me because he is so different from me. I’m not sure that Tank knows of my level of involvement with the MC. I believe he suspects it, but I don’t know that he knows the jobs I have helped with or actually do.
The dirty cop that ran Axl off the road, I lured him in for a few weeks with a few dates and the promise of sex before tying him up and letting Blade and Axl kill him.
Blade asked me after that to hunt down more information on Tony Riva, and I reported back what I found. Which just lead back to the Cartel. They want Battle Born dead. He asked me to stand in the shadows as an extra set of eyes while they were in the building with Tony. I held the guns because I was never patted down as long as I was on the arm of one of the VIP gamblers who I had lured in from the bar the week before.
Would Tank still want to be here if he knew of the things I did?
Tonight, we drove here together after we blew up the building where the fights were being held. We killed, I have no idea how many men, while he whispered sweet words into my ear during it. It’s normal to us now, like we went to work together and came home to shower the day off.
Except, we don’t fuck each other, and I think that has to do with me. Outside of those intense moments, I keep him at an arm’s length.
Tami’s little frustrated growl breaks me away from my thoughts. She and Tank sit on the floor and stare at the laptop he bought for her to finish high school with a GED. He tries to explain math to her, several times. She’s frustrated and he’s red in the face from the effort he puts into not yelling at her.
“Lil’ T, I swear to God, algebra is not that hard, just follow the rules here.” He takes out a piece of paper from her notebook, and scribbles down the rules. The very last one he writes says, Please marry for money because I’m scared for you.
“Tank! God! I didn’t go to school much as a kid!” she huffs and hits his head with a small pillow.
“It is sound advice. His accountant will take care of the money for you.”
“You’re stupid.” She ignores the dig and finishes her work.
After she’s done, she gets up with her supplies and laptop. “Kat, can we go shopping tomorrow?”
“Sure, honey, what are we looking for?”
She looks at Tank and then at me. I look at her, and then at Tank, and back at her.
“I’m going to bed.” Tank gets up and walks down the hallway, quietly closing the door to his room.
Tami looks around, then at her feet. “I don’t know how or where to look to buy a bra. Will you go with me and help me, maybe nicer underwear?”
My heart stops. She asked me and not Vegas or Dana?
“Sure, let’s go after breakfast before work.” I work really hard to make my voice not squeak.
“Thanks.” Tami lunges for me like she did for Tank, and wraps her slender arms around me.
This girl, she melts my heart, man, and I have important manly shit to deal with. She’s making me soft.
She lets go of me and walks to her bedroom. Before she gets to close her door, Tank sticks his head out and laughs at her, “Who are you buying the sexy undies for, lil’ T? Those pound puppies?” His boisterous lough echoes throughout the house.
“Kat! Where is your gun? I’m going to shoot this asshole!” she screeches and slams her door shut, trying to block her embarrassment and hide her red face.
He yells back, “Don’t yell and curse at your elders!” and slams his door shut after her, manically laughing still at my little T. Poor girl.
Shaking my head, I lock the front door and turn off all the lights, then walk down the dark hallway. Out of nowhere, large hands grab and push me through the door to my room, pinning me up against the wall.
“K-love, are you going to buy some sexy undies to show me tomorrow?” Tank rasps into my ear. His hands travel up my body. “I’ve missed you, baby, missed your smell and touch.” He grabs my face and lays a possessive kiss on my lips. “When you trust me, I’ll be ready.”
My nails scrape up his arms and I thread my fingers through his hair. “Do you trust me?” he asks me.
I don’t answer and deepen the kiss. Tank groans into my mouth, his tongue fucking mine.
When I don’t answer, he suddenly pulls away and walks back to his room, in the dark. Leaving me breathless and alone with my thoughts.
Do I trust Tank?
Shrugging off my clothes and thoughts, I lie down in my bed. I toss and turn for a few minutes, unable to get comfortable enough to sleep. It feels as if a rush of heat hit my vagina and Tank lit the fire, I’m that turned on.
Getting out of bed, I grab my vibrator and slide back into the silk sheets, sans panties. Slipping the vibrator inside my panties, I push the button and nothing. What the hell? I push the button again and nothing.
“Fuck.”
I pull it out, frustrated, like, really frustrated, and open it. The batteries are gone. How, or rather who would steal my fucking batteries from a dildo?
Rage consumes me. I know who the fuck would do something so cruel and stupid, and toss the dido aside.
Jolting out of bed, I throw my pajama shorts and a tank on and march into his room, busting down the door.
When I am hovering over his bed, he lies there with his hands behind his head and his feet crossed. Through the moonlight, I can see his eyes twinkle like the stars, with mischief.
“Yes? Can I service you?” He somehow keeps a monotone voice but cannot conceal his big toothy grin.
Bending over so we are nose-to-nose, I growl, “Did you steal my batteries?”
“The batteries for your personal shaver? No.”
I grit my teeth. “You know WHAT batteries I’m referring to, Tank,” I whisper, dark and dangerous.
He laughs in my face. “Fucking A, I totally forgot I stole those. Here they are.” His hand glides past my thighs and tugs the nightstand drawer open where there’s a new ten pack of the batteries I would need.
“Asshole.” I grab the pack out of spite and storm back to my room, slamming both doors. The sound of his laughter is loud enough to be heard over the noise I make on my way there.
I’m back in the same place I was before, sexually frustrated and now pissed off. How am I ever going to get to sleep?
After a few more tosses and turns, I think, fuck it. I load those batteries and flip my vibrator on and think of Tank the whole time while I get myself off.
He must hear the light buzzing go off because, as soon as I flip it off, he yells, “I’m happy I could be your hero, baby.”
Escaping From Forever: Tank & Kat's story, Part 1 (Battle Born MC Book 5) Page 16
