by Amy B. Nixon
Dann!
The yell died in my throat before it was even born. I couldn’t see him, but I had heard him. The guards were probably also here. And guardians. And other people who could find Monika and Aurora, then bring all of us back to safety.
Dann!
More silence. Why couldn’t I see him?
Turning back to the sea, I felt like screaming again. The Nøkken had brought more of its kind. Hundreds of monstrous hands reached from the thrashing waves, stretching their claws towards me. Those very same claws had torn through flesh and bone, as if they were made from sharpened steel.
“Learyn, calm down,” the voice spoke again.
DANN!
Another silent scream.
DANN! DAAAAANN!
I frantically ran around the rocks from one boulder to another, screaming his name at the top of my lungs, but there was no one there to hear me.
DAAAAANN!
They had murdered Gabriella.
SOMEBODY!
Monika and Aurora had probably met the same fate.
ANYONE! PLEASE!
Now the Nøkk had only one thing left to focus on. Me.
I fled from the cliff, hoping for the safety of solid land, twisting my neck backwards to make sure I was putting distance between myself and the bloodthirsty monsters. My own pulse’s pounding intertwined with the sky’s thunderous strikes, and I couldn’t tell apart my fear from nature’s fury anymore.
A heartbeat later, I collided with something big.
It got hold of me, and I shrieked, trying to fight it off. My ability to speak returned in full force. Now my voice pierced my poor eardrums, which had already been abused by the lashing of my pulse.
“Steady yourself, you’re having a nightmare!”
A familiar voice gave the order, loud and clear.
“Dann!” I panted, suddenly realizing the thing holding me wasn’t a monster. “I can’t find Monika and Aurora! Help them! You have to bring them back before they’re lost like Gabriella!”
“Just close your eyes and breathe in.”
“No!” I broke free from him, searching for the rescue party, for the presence of guards, for a sign they had brought the girls back before it was too late.
“Hey, look at me!” He grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to face him. “Calm down.”
“Where are they?”
“Everyone is safe, back on the island.”
A small wave of reassurance hit me, and a second later I desperately hurled myself at him, breaking free from his grasp and throwing my arms around his torso.
“Then get me out of here too, please get me out now! The tide keeps rising, the Nøkk will–”
“There are no Nøkk,” he interrupted me just as I felt his arms wrapping around me like a protective shield.
I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut, eager to sense the familiar breezy whiff of air which accompanied Aperture. Every cell in my body trembled with anticipation for the moment when we’d be away from this dreadful place.
“You’re dreaming. All of this is simply a nightmare.”
“I… what?”
“Everything is happening only in your head. Breathe in. There are no Nøkk and you’re safe.”
Instead of feeling him teleport us, I only felt his arms tightening around my body, and my brain finally caught up with his words. I listened and inhaled. The wild pumping in my ears wasn’t the thing silencing the crashing waves, because there were no crashing waves to be silenced. The ocean had lulled its ruthless bashing, and I couldn’t hear anything apart from my own heavy breathing.
“Dann…” I trailed off on a sigh.
“Shh, just breathe.”
No storm. No Nøkk. Monika and Aurora were safe. I was safe.
Slowly, my tension alleviated, and my muscles relaxed. His grip loosened, my heart rate slowed down. I opened my eyes, taking a step back, only to discover the clouds above his head had cleared, leaving room for calm, light blue skies, mirroring the ones in his stare.
His hand caught my face, almost cupping my cheek, and prevented me from looking away. Focused on his eyes, I felt at ease, free of the anxiety that had taken over me earlier. My breathing normalized. I no longer feared the freezing chills benumbing my body in the places where my drenched clothes clung to my skin.
Moments ago, I had longed for the coolness of Aperture’s side effects, but now I welcomed the soft warmth of his palm and the comforting reassurance of his gesture.
It was so weird. I had seen him fight with a dozen grown up, combat-trained men, but his fingers were as light as feathers when they traced my cheekbone, dropped to my jawline and slid under my chin. The blue refractions in his eyes grew darker in the shadows of his eyelashes as he slowly lowered his face and, much to my surprise, his lips pressed to mine. It was a gentle kiss, and left a strange sensation, like he had taken the most velvety substance in the world and lightly brushed it against my mouth.
I wasn’t even sure it classified as a kiss.
The touch of his lips was too ethereal, but somehow I could feel their warmth seeping into every fiber of my being. Pressing his other hand to the curve of my spine, he drew me closer. His lips moved against mine just as tenderly as before, and this time I was sure we were really kissing.
I had resented the idea of kissing someone again, but the way his lips touched mine seemed nothing like my ex-boyfriend’s.
Dann’s kisses felt tender. Soothing. Full of promises of safety, full of reassurance he wasn’t my ex. And I wasn’t repulsed by this intimacy. On the contrary. I wanted more of the soothing warmth, so I tiptoed to overcome our height difference, and put my hands around his neck, trying to pull him down and keep kissing him.
Some strands of hair softly tickled my fingertips when he lowered his head and drew away, hiding his face in the hollow of my neck, while his arms wreathed around me. I was overtaken by a need to oppose his embrace, turn to the side, and kiss him again.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” his velar whisper echoed in my ear.
His lips placed a kiss on my cheek and remained there for what paradoxically lasted an eternity and a split of a second at the same time.
I was so stunned, that I couldn’t care less for what had happened on the shores of Forsand. I couldn’t think about any of the horrors Brühl had put me through these past weeks. I couldn’t even think about my uncertain future. All I could focus on was how he made me feel.
His closeness felt so warm, so gentle, so safe and soothing. I wished I could stay in the warmth and safety of this exact moment, away from everything else.
“It’s time for you to wake up.”
And just like that, I was sitting in my bed in the midst of the darkness, with nothing but Monika’s quiet breathing to fill the silence.
What the fuck had just happened?
A quick glance at my phone’s screen told me it was almost two in the morning. Rubbing my eyes violently on my way to the window, I couldn’t shake off a nasty sensation, which whispered I was insane. How could I have had a romantic dream with Dann? How could I? Why did I? Pushing the blackout curtains away, I opened the window, inhaled the crisp, cool air, and stared at the glowing sky, illuminated by the colorful northern lights. Aurora Borealis.
Aurora.
She had told me to stay away from Dann. She thought I was fooling around with her brother, and it was about time for him to throw me away with the rest of his insipid playthings. Of course! That had to be the reason. My subconsciousness had somehow spun those words and twisted them into something unrealistic.
Maybe it was because he was there when I woke up after the Nøkken’s poison had made me faint. His unexpected presence was still stuck in my mind on some sub-level. And his kindness. His kindness had been one of the few genuine things in this place. I was affected by Monika’s betrayal, I was haunted by the Nøkk, and Brühl had just pushed my limits to a whole new level. My mind had decided to cling to the only truly good person who still hadn
’t hurt or disappointed me.
No, it was more than that. I had seen him fighting with the guards and heard his explanations about how he wanted everyone here to be safe and secure. I wasn’t clinging only to his kindheartedness, but also to the sense of safety he evoked.
But still, why would I dream that?
I bit my lips. All Nordstrøm family members were Wanderers. One of Freya’s gifts to them was the ability to Wander into other people’s dreams. Was he in my dream for real, kissing me for real?
That was fucking absurd! He was Dann Nordstrøm!
I was sure there was a line of girls piling in front of him. With that often-messy blond hair, piercing blue eyes and a set of dimples carved in both cheeks, he definitely had a bunch of supermodels’ phone numbers. And he seemed to be excellent at everything – martial arts, teaching, music, being modest, grasping my sarcasm and cynicism, dealing with my anger, Heimir’s racist outbursts… FML! The guy played the piano and read poetry! His Excellency definitely could have had a different girl for every night of the week if he wanted to. It made no sense for him to spend his nights visiting my dreams.
My subconsciousness was in some serious need of a reality check.
Trying to shake it off, I dressed quietly and headed for the library. I didn’t stumble on any guards along the way, and it only raised my hopes.
Sadly, my wishful thinking got the reality check my subconsciousness needed, because I spoke the word Amyria in front of every single book case, and got no results. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Again, and again. I obviously had to wait for my aunt’s call to ask her.
The break of dawn was starting to fill the library with a soft pinkish glow, coming from the nine humongous windows. I returned to my room, looking for my phone.
“Good morning,” Monika greeted me from her bed.
Irritated and frustrated, courtesy of my failure in the library and my delusional dream, I couldn’t keep pretending things were going to get better with time.
“I’m switching rooms, Monika.”
“What? No, please!”
“I can’t do this anymore. I’ll ask Administration for a new room today.”
“Learyn, please don’t. I’m so sorry for everything!”
“Don’t you get it?” I spun around to face her. “I can’t stand being in the same room as you anymore! No amount of I’m-sorrys is going to fix what happened! The Nøkk, that girl’s death, the Council’s lies, all of your lies! Nothing can fix any of it!”
She seemed on the verge of replying, but when her mouth opened and closed without producing a sound, I turned the other way to grab my phone.
“I’ll leave.”
Her words were no more than a whisper.
“Don’t be absurd, Monika, it’s your room.”
“It’s our room,” she mumbled, “and I have to leave for my mundane studies anyway. I’ll come back tomorrow morning to grab some stuff and probably won’t be back for a week or two, so you don’t have to worry about seeing me all the time.”
Sighing with annoyance, I paused at the door.
“If you think I’ll forgive and forget overnight, don’t count on it. I told you, nothing can fix this.”
What I really wanted to say was that I’d had it with people’s bullshit to such an extent, nothing could fix me, but that would have meant believing in her lies had been my fault instead of hers.
Happy twenty-first birthday, Learyn, I thought to myself. You’ve got a hundred and eighty more, but you’ve already managed to turn your life into a complete fucking mess.
Lacrimosa Arcana
The call I expected never came. Clutching my phone and glancing at its screen, I checked for the hundredth time. My signal bars were full, I had paid my phone bill online, the sound and vibrations were on. There was no reason why the phone hadn’t buzzed to life even once.
What was more, when I dialed my aunt’s number, finally tired of waiting for her, all I got was her voicemail. Again.
My impatience grew thinner with each passing hour, and at noon I ran to Administration’s office, asking Raisa Kuoppala for a way to get off the island.
“Miss Dustrikke, you need permission from the Council.”
The first time I’d seen this woman, she’d taken my blood without asking me for permission. Now she was telling me I needed permission from His Excellency and the eight ancient mummies?
“What am I, a prisoner? Are they gonna lock their precious Dustrikke in a tower?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Dustrikke, but I’ve been instructed to inform the Council if you attempt to leave Nordstrøm Island, and you cannot leave without their explicit permission.”
She scribbled on a piece of paper, then took out something short, thin and pointy – a dagger of some sort – and used it to slice her index finger. My eyes widened as she pressed her bleeding finger to the paper, which disappeared into a cloud of black smoke, broken up by emerald green sparks. Did she always use these creepy blood messages? Wasn’t it just easier to pick up a phone?
Before I could say something, another eruption of black smoke spun between us, and the sheet of paper reappeared.
“The Council can see you tonight.”
“When?”
“At nine.”
“Can’t they see me sooner?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Fine,” I clenched my jaw and rushed for the door, before remembering something. “I don’t know how to get to the Council’s meeting room or whatever that room on the ninth floor is. Can you maybe give me directions? Please?”
She smiled. “I’ll write them down for you.”
“Thanks. I also want to request a new room, preferably without a roommate.”
I kept telling myself all sorts of stories throughout the rest of the day, guessing why my aunt hadn’t called me yet.
She had fallen down the stairs in our house, broken a hipbone or twisted a spinal cord, was hospitalized, and couldn’t get to her phone. She was on vacation on some sunny resort, her phone had accidentally gotten wet, and she still hadn’t bought a new one. She was vacationing on a wintery resort, and had lost her phone in the snow. She was still in San Francisco, and someone had stolen the phone.
But with each scenario, one particular thought kept returning again and again. She would have reached out today. Regardless of how badly I had reacted to her revelations and how hurtful my attitude had been to her, she would have called me.
Finally, when evening came, I shot myself up the stairs, taking a few at once, and breathlessly barged into the Council’s meeting room.
“Good evening, Miss Dustrikke,” Hallvard greeted, scanning something high above my head, avoiding eye contact. Typical.
“I… leave… now…”
Everyone remained silent until I regained my breath. Once my lungs functioned properly, my eyes landed on Dann. His expressionless mask was on, as impenetrable as before. I was suddenly overtaken by mortifying embarrassment as I remembered my stupid dream with that kiss.
Reality check, I told myself, peeling my eyes off him and glancing at his uncle.
“I want to leave the island. Please get someone to Aperture me to San Francisco right now.”
“Does this have something to do with the events which took place near Forsand?” Hallvard asked, still not looking at me.
“What? No, I want to…”
The mention of Forsand immediately drew out the shrieking from the back of my mind. Along with the scraping and the gurgling, the memories pushed my anxiety to a whole new level. Messing with my brain and common sense, they screwed up my priorities.
“What does Marked by Amyria mean? The Nøkk attacked that girl only after one of them called me that and tried to drag me in the water.”
Silence.
Dann had said he didn’t know. But instead of repeating his words, his uncle kept staring at the empty space above my head. Was his silence an indicator that he withheld answers on purpose?
“I’m sorry about
it, I really am. If I could have done something to prevent it from happening, I would have. The guilt and nightmares are eating me every single day. And the fact the Nøkk attacked only after they told me I was marked by this Amyria person, makes it even worse. Please tell me. Not knowing what it means makes it seem like that girl died for nothing!”
More silence. I glanced at Hallvard’s left side, looking at Dann, but his eyes were set on his uncle, who was still refusing to speak.
“Please!” I begged once again, taking a step forward.
It seemed to do the trick, because even though Hallvard didn’t make eye contact with me, he spoke. “Nøkken nonsense. Fables of dangerous creatures you should not concern yourself with.”
“They tried to murder us over fables?” I asked, refusing to believe there wasn’t more to it.
“End of discussion, Miss Dustrikke.”
“Fine!” I spat out the word, taking another step towards the long wooden table and the people sitting behind it. “I want to leave for San Francisco. Now.”
“You are interdicted from leaving the island.”
“What?” I asked, moving closer.
The guy was still refusing to look at me.
“You are forbidden from leaving this island until further notice.”
“Until further notice? Are you fucking kidding me right now?!”
“Please mind your language.”
My irritation meter was so freaking high up, I was about to combust any moment. Language was the last thing I gave a rat’s ass about.
“Oh, okay, I’m sorry. Let’s take this entire conversation from the top. Hi, my name is Learyn Dustrikke and I have a problem with authority. Don’t make me dig my way through a wall until I reach a narrow ventilation shaft.”
I had spent my entire life a few miles away from Alcatraz. As any true born-and-bred San Franciscan, I knew how the escape from the most secure federal prison that ever existed was carried out. Not that I wanted to carve a hole in the castle’s walls with a spoon, crawl through a ventilation shaft, then swim my way out to Stavanger. Especially because I was sure the walls here weren’t made of Alcatraz’s crumbling concrete. But desperate times called for desperate measures, right?
