As if sensing that he appeared foolish, Master Eremis pulled himself erect. “Apt, I believe you,” he rasped, jabbing one finger like the point of a spear at Geraden’s face. “You seek to repay me. But revenge would be a better word, would it not? You blame me because the Congery laughed when I proposed you for the chasuble, and now you wish to ‘repay’ me by driving me mad.
“Listen to me, boy.” He managed to look calmer as he spoke, despite the struggle between control and ferocity in his voice. “I wish you to go away and leave me alone. I have been your friend, whatever you believe. But you will sacrifice my friendship if you continue to torment me. And you will not enjoy my enmity.”
If Geraden felt the force of this threat, he kept his reaction to himself. Without looking at Terisa, he asked – deferentially, nonchalantly – “My lady, do you want to be left alone?”
As soon as he confronted her with his question, she found that she couldn’t answer. She liked him. She wanted to give him a reply that pleased him: it would have made her feel good to please him. But her body had come so close to learning what its womanhood meant – to Master Eremis, at least, and perhaps thereby to herself. She was trembling inside, and her legs felt too weak to lift her off the divan. Her yearning hadn’t gone away.
“Are you blind, Apt?” The Master was almost whispering. “The only thing she wants is to be left alone.”
“Then” – for an instant, Geraden’s control nearly cracked, and a spasm of pain leaped across his face – I must go.” His tone became formal in compensation. “Please forgive this mad intrusion. I have misjudged.”
Master Eremis made a stiff gesture of dismissal. Geraden turned and left the room the same way he had come.
“Fool.” Eremis glared after the Apt. “He believes that he is safe to play games with me. I do not play games.” Abruptly, he swung toward Terisa. “My lady, be warned. I do not play games.”
She met his gaze until it seemed to make her tingle. If what she did no longer mattered, then why did she ache this way? Perhaps her yearning was stronger than she realized, and it was changing her. Or perhaps she felt an inchoate desire to defend Geraden. Whatever the reason, she amazed herself by saying, as if she were accustomed to comment on the behavior of the people around her, “I can understand why he thinks you do.”
To her surprise, her remark caught his interest. His anger receded, and an inquiring look came into his face. It made him even more attractive than his intent desire. “Do you, indeed? I am taken aback.” His tone was sardonic, but kindly. “What have I done to convey such an impression?”
She made an effort to answer him accurately, in part because she enjoyed being free to say what she thought, in part because his question flattered her by conferring substance on her ideas. “You don’t show much respect for people when you talk about them in private, so when you act respectful in public you don’t sound sincere. And you aren’t consistent. You seem to do things” – her boldness was positively dizzying – “like propose to make Geraden a Master, not because you believe in them, but because you like surprising people.”
His eyes widened humorously. “Not consistent, my lady? I? You were not present when the Apt’s role in the translation that brought you among us was debated. You have not heard how consistently I have always defended and supported him.” He took evident pleasure in questioning her. “How am I not consistent?”
She considered the matter. This couldn’t last: surely he was about to become angry at her. That was what happened whenever she called attention to herself. She didn’t want to lose this moment. Trying to minimize the risk, she replied carefully, “I was surprised when you chose Master Gilbur to go with you to that meeting with the Perdon. He doesn’t seem to like you very much.”
That surprise came back in a rush when Eremis burst out laughing.
For a moment, he was too amused to speak. She had apparently touched a point on which he was exceptionally pleased with himself. Chortling loudly, he returned to the divan and sat down beside her again, sprawling back into the cushions and stretching his arms above his head.
When he was able to stop laughing, he drew himself erect, put his hands on her shoulders, and held her for a kiss. “Ah, that was a fine jest, my lady,” he replied, enjoying her mystification, “and the richest humor of it lies in its secrecy. I will wager that all the Congery was equally surprised.” Only the hint of calculation in his eyes, the way he seemed to gauge the consequences of what he did, prevented him from looking as unabashedly happy as Geraden sometimes did. “None of those fools knows that Joyse was not the one who saved Gilbur’s life when his cave collapsed. I was.
While she gaped at him – while her thoughts reeled and her conception of everything that had taken place during the meeting of the Congery changed – he pulled her to him and captured her mouth again with his.
He stopped her breath in her chest. But as soon as his kiss eased she panted, “Wait a minute. Wait. I don’t understand.”
Placing kisses on her eyes, her forehead, the corners of her mouth, he eased her back into the cushions. “What do you not understand?”
“You and Master Gilbur are working together.” Her chest heaved. “You planned that whole meeting.” You were playacting all the time. “Why did you pretend to be enemies?”
“Because, my precious” – his tongue licked at her lips between phrases – “some of those dunderheaded Imagers truly do not like me. Ideas and hopes are frequently rejected simply because I am the one who presents them.” His warm breath seemed to fill her lungs. “The truth would have turned them against Gilbur as well.” She felt his hand once more on the buttons of her shirt. “The lie that he was saved by King Joyse gave him credibility, so that he was able to swing the vote.”
Reclining against the pillows and his arm as though she were helpless, she still asked, “But why? Why do you want that champion? He’s dangerous.”
Master Eremis withdrew enough to let her meet his gaze. His expression was serious, and he spoke candidly. “Arms and war are dangerous. Power is dangerous. But nothing else can save us.
“You do not know the Perdon. You have seen his rage, however. He loves his people. He is proud of Mordant – and of his place in the realm. And yet his King has refused him aid. Impelled by desperation, he will go to any extreme to defend what he loves.”
She thought she heard a knock at the door. For an instant, Master Eremis stiffened. But the sound was tentative, and it wasn’t repeated.
“I will also,” he went on. “I sneer at my fellow Masters, but that is only because a talent for Imagery is not a guarantee of intelligence or courage. I love the potential the Congery represents. I would gladly do battle in its defense. And I, too, have been refused. My King denies me his aid.
“I will not hesitate at a lie or two in order to gain the strength I need.”
She wasn’t sure of what she saw in his eyes or heard in his voice. His manipulation of the Congery was too easy; his explanation for his lies was too tidy. But his nearness and his strong touch took hold of her. His scent of cloves and his kisses were more persuasive than logic.
Her lips answered his as well as they knew how. Slipping under her shirt, his hand cupped her breast. His caress made her nipples ache. Instinctively, she arched her back, pressing her breasts closer to him. He pushed her shirt aside, and they were bared. Then his mouth left hers, and he breathed thickly, “My lady, I was not wrong. You are made for a man’s delight,” and his tongue reached out to her breast until his lips closed over the nipple.
Willing to risk almost anything now, she put her arms around his head and held it where it was so that he wouldn’t stop what he was doing.
She was so amazed that she did nothing but stare when Saddith walked into the room.
Like Geraden, the maid studiously didn’t look at Master Eremis or Terisa. She held her face slightly averted, and her expression was perfectly bland.
“Master Eremis—” she began.
He bo
unded off the divan violently, his arm cocked as if he were expecting Geraden and intended to hit first and ask questions later.
“Master Eremis,” she repeated, flinching, speaking quickly to ward off his outrage, “this intrusion is inexcusable, I know, but you must forgive me. I had no choice. You did not answer the door. My lady, you must forgive me. I have no choice.”
“No choice?” As soon as he recognized Saddith, he lowered his arm. Nevertheless he needed a moment to control his anger. “You are a servant. Why is it a matter of choice for you to enter my rooms unbidden?”
“Forgive me. I know that what I have done is inexcusable.” Because Saddith’s face was so bland, and her tone was so neutral, she didn’t sound particularly contrite. “But I have been commanded to fetch the lady Terisa. The lady Myste wishes to speak with her. She is the King’s daughter, Master Eremis. I could not refuse to obey her. You have the power to insult me – perhaps even to hurt me.” She also didn’t sound particularly fearful. “But if the lady Myste complains of me to Castellan Lebbick—”
Eremis interrupted her. “You could have told Myste that you were unable to find the lady.” He had already regained his self-possession, however. He sighed. “But that may have been too much to expect of you.” He turned to Terisa. “My lady, you must go. Kings’ daughters are capricious – and our King lets his do what they will. It is not safe to ignore them.”
Only his eyes betrayed him. They had gone dark and murderous.
Terisa wanted to wail in frustration – and also in unexpected fright. His ferocity was suddenly as vivid as her father’s. She felt giddy, almost wild, close to tears – or laughter. Her relief was as acute as her sense of loss, her alarm.
Because she had no idea what else to do, she mutely began buttoning her shirt.
TEN: THE LAST ALEND AMBASSADOR
Still trembling weakly, full of confusion and trying not to show it, Terisa left with Saddith.
Master Eremis unbolted the door and bowed her out of his rooms. As he did so, his smile displayed a familiar blend of amusement and concupiscence: he might have been proof against his recent vexations. If she hadn’t seen his eyes, she wouldn’t have been scared.
She breathed an instinctive sigh of relief when the door closed because it had been Saddith, not Geraden, who had interrupted the Master the third time. She didn’t like to think of so much anger aimed at the Apt.
For her part, Saddith appeared untroubled by Eremis’ ire. Instead of betraying any kind of embarrassment or concern, her expression suggested a barely concealed satisfaction.
Terisa wanted to ask, Why does the lady Myste want to see me? More than that, she wanted to ask, How did you manage to come for me at just that moment? But as soon as she and Saddith left the cul-de-sac of Master Eremis’ quarters, Geraden accosted them.
He made no effort to restrain himself. He was gamboling like a puppy.
“Saddith, you’re a wonder!” Grabbing her by the arms, he danced her in a circle until he stumbled against the wall and almost knocked her to the floor; then he planted a loud kiss on her cheek and released her. “I’m in your debt. Forever! How did you do it?”
Without waiting for an answer, he turned, practically prancing, toward Terisa.
She kept on walking.
She couldn’t tell what he saw in her face, but whatever it was, it sobered him rapidly. For once, however, he didn’t apologize. “I know it was none of my business.” He controlled his glee for her sake. “I just had the strongest feeling—” He gave her a wry grimace. “We’ve talked about my ‘feelings.’ I told you they’re always wrong. But I have to do what they tell me anyway. I can’t ignore them. I just can’t. And this time I had the strongest feeling you were in some kind of danger.”
“Danger, indeed,” Saddith replied derisively. “You mistake those ‘feelings,’ Apt. You had the strongest ‘feeling’ that you wish to bed the lady yourself, and you could not bear to think that any man would do so before you. Perhaps also,” she added with a leer, “you feared that once she had tasted Master Eremis’ lovemaking she would have no interest in yours.”
At Saddith’s words, Geraden’s eyes filled up with chagrin, and he began to blush like a little boy.
Suddenly, Terisa’s trembling got worse. She had come so close – so close to something she couldn’t name, some vital awareness of who or what she was. Master Eremis had told her that she didn’t exist. And yet his touch— She was shaking all over. Her voice shook. “Do you mean to tell me Myste doesn’t want to see me? You made that up?”
The Apt winced, but it was Saddith who said, “Certainly not,” in a tone of humorous indignation. “I am not a liar, my lady.” With evident difficulty, she suppressed a desire to laugh. “The lady Myste has most assuredly asked to speak with you. I spent some considerable time searching for you before I encountered Apt Geraden and he told me where you were.”
Reassured by this support, Geraden admitted, “But it is true that Myste isn’t the kind of lady who would insist on seeing you right away.”
Saddith nodded. “I believe she truly does not know what it means to be the daughter of a king.”
“If she had known where you were,” Geraden continued, with some of his personal happiness bubbling up past his self-command, “I’m sure she would have insisted on waiting until Master Eremis was done with you.”
“Nevertheless,” concluded the maid, “I made him believe it. In future, he will be wise to be more careful about his designs.”
Geraden couldn’t help himself: he threw back his head and laughed.
Saddith joined him.
In their distinct ways, they both sounded so pleased that the tension which made Terisa tremble loosened itself involuntarily. She wanted to laugh as well. “He got so angry.” At the moment, she felt it would have done her a world of good to laugh. “Maybe he isn’t used to frustration. He looked pretty silly.”
The thought of Master Eremis looking silly started Geraden and Saddith again.
Paying no attention to where they were going, they nearly ran into Master Quillon.
Because of his self-effacing gray robe and unassertive demeanor, he seemed to appear in front of them out of nowhere. His smile didn’t close over his protruding teeth. “Ah, there you are, Apt,” he said at once. “Come with me. I have need of you.”
Terisa felt that his tone boded ill for Geraden.
“Master Quillon—” Geraden was nonplussed. “I’ve finished my duties. I wanted to spend the afternoon—”
“Precisely,” the Imager cut in. “You wanted to spend the afternoon helping me. I am determined to finish my researches before Master Gilbur summons his champion and we are all required to put aside our personal concerns for the sake of the war which will ensue. Come.”
Abruptly, he turned and started down the hall.
“Master Quillon!” Geraden protested. “It’s customary to let Apts do what they want with their time when they’ve finished their duties.”
The Master paused. The way he bared his teeth gave him an air of lugubrious savagery. His eyes glittered coldly. “For shame, Geraden,” he said, speaking more mildly. “Sloth does not make a Master. Work does. How will you ever learn, if you are unwilling to make an effort?” Then his face tightened. “This is not a request, Apt. Come with me.”
Walking briskly, he moved away.
Geraden cast a look of appeal and apology at Terisa.
“Go, Geraden,” whispered Saddith. “Do not be a fool. What will become of your wish to be a Master? You hurt no one but yourself by disobeying.”
The Apt grimaced, nodded, threw up his hands, and trotted after Master Quillon.
Saddith laughed again, this time at Geraden, but her mirth was not unkind. “He is a good boy, my lady, with many attractive qualities.” She grinned. “Even his awkwardness might prove piquant. But in your place I would not trouble with him. You can aim higher.
“If you are already able to interest Master Eremis” – now she was seri
ous, perhaps even a trifle vexed – “making no more effort than you do, you can most certainly aim higher. As an example, consider Castellan Lebbick. You will hardly believe it, having tasted a little of his tongue – and his temper – but he is uxorious to a fault. And now his wife of many years has died, after a protracted illness. There is a man in grave need of a woman. If I could attract his notice, I can assure you I would not remain a servant in Orison much longer.”
“Saddith, what should I do?” Terisa asked on impulse. Now that Geraden was gone, she felt an urgent need to talk to him. Despite Master Barsonage’s instructions, she wanted to tell Geraden everything. And she wanted to know how he would answer Master Eremis’ reasoning. But she couldn’t discuss any of those things with the maid. “I’m not an Imager. I don’t know anything about men.” Then, remembering Eremis’ hands – and his mouth – she added, “Master Eremis and Geraden hate each other.”
“My lady,” replied Saddith, trying to speak lightly, “I would make certain that Master Eremis does not come to hate me.”
An open window somewhere let a draft of cold into the corridor. Terisa shivered. Saddith was silent along the way to their destination.
***
Terisa expected the maid to take her to the suite the lady Myste shared with her sister, in the tower above King Joyse’s rooms, but Saddith led Terisa back to her own quarters. Myste was waiting there.
Saddith exchanged her customary badinage with the guards, then opened the door and ushered Terisa inside. They found the lady Myste standing in front of one of the windows. Despite the chill outside, sunshine emphasized the summer tone of her hair and skin, making her more obviously beautiful than she had been in her own rooms, in Elega’s company. Nevertheless she gazed out over the castle and the desolate winter as though she longed to be anywhere except where she was.
The Mirror of Her Dreams Page 25
