by Liv Reid
But I’m going to have to be strong and resist. He’s no good for me.
The other thing I’m freaking out about is that we didn’t use protection. It just never crossed my mind at the time, but after, when I got back to my dorm and felt the evidence of what we’d just done seeping out between my legs, reality hit me like a slap in the face.
A couple of years ago, I was seeing this guy, and I thought it was going to turn into something more serious, so I got an IUD, just to be safe. The last thing I needed was a baby relying on me. I could barely take care of myself, and that’s no life to bring a child into.
The guy turned out to be a jerk who ghosted me, so I always thought the IUD was a waste, but now I’m so relieved I have it. I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, but Logan isn’t exactly abstinent. He’s a playboy, and I have no clue how many other women he’s sleeping with or how careful he’s being with them. I am so stupid.
I pull to a stop in front of the main door. The valet comes over, and I take a deep breath before leaving my car. I know Logan is probably going to be inside, even though Mrs. Aston told me it was just her and I this evening. My heart is hammering in my chest, and my palms are sweaty just thinking about seeing him again.
The housekeeper leads me to the parlor like last time, and I’m not surprised to see Mrs. Aston, Heston and Logan sitting there. The three of them stand to greet me, and it’s super awkward. Logan and I keep catching each other’s eye and then looking away. I can’t tell how he’s feeling, and I hope he can’t see the anxiety on my face.
We proceed to have another uncomfortable dinner. Heston and Mrs. Aston do most of the talking while Logan and I remain silent. I keep catching him looking at me and my heart skips a beat whenever our eyes meet.
Near the end of dinner, Heston asks me who I’m going to the Dark Society’s end of term party with.
“No one,” I say, a bit startled. The question came out of nowhere, and I didn’t even know there was an end of term party. “Probably Everly.”
I take a bite of the last green beans on my plate, and Heston smiles charmingly.
“Then I’d like to ask you to be my date to the party.”
I choke on my food and start coughing. I can’t help but look over at Logan. He’s glaring at Heston furiously.
“No!” I finally manage to get out between coughs. “I mean, no way.”
Heston’s undeterred, and his smile never falters. He starts listing all the reasons I should go with him. He talks about how much fun it’ll be and how it’s only one night. I keep declining, but he doesn’t stop. Take the hint, I think.
This whole thing is making me incredibly uncomfortable, and I just want to leave. My bully is asking me out on a date while the guy I just had incredible, mind-blowing hate sex with is sitting right next to us and glaring daggers at his brother. As if all this wasn’t weird enough, their mom cuts in and not-so-subtly threatens to take away my school funding if I don’t go with Heston.
I scowl at her. She’s going to lord that money over my head until the day I graduate—and then even after that, if I let her. They have an agenda, and I don’t like it. I don’t know why they want me to go out with Heston, but despite his charming act I know he’s up to no good.
Logan is seething at the whole exchange, and I can tell he’s about to erupt.
“Fine,” I finally agree.
Logan’s eyes dart to me, but I don’t meet them. I don’t have much of a choice, and they wore me down. It’s only one night. I can stand anything for one night. I refuse to dance with Heston though. I’ll just go to the party with him and then as soon as we get there I’ll ditch him and hang out with Everly.
Logan shakes his head while Heston grins and says, “Delightful! I’m excited to get the chance to show you a wonderful time. Hopefully, we make up for some of the mistakes of our past.”
I grunt in a non-committal way.
I’m on my way out of the mansion when Logan corners me in a dark alcove by the door. As he stares down at me, he looks more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him before. Gone is the guarded expression he always wears that covers up his true feelings beneath. I always thought he was a one-note person, but beneath his defenses he’s a tempest of emotion.
“I just want to taste your lips again,” he whispers and then kisses me fiercely.
My body responds to his instinctively. It feels as natural as breathing, and I kiss him back—hard.
His hands roam freely, and in a second he’s lifting up my skirt. We can’t do this here, my brain thinks fuzzily. We could get caught—but a moment later I can’t think words at all because he’s dipping his fingers into my liquid heat.
He hisses and whispers against my lips, “You’re so ready for me. So wet. Just for me.”
I moan as he starts pumping his fingers in and out. He uses the palm of his hand to roughly rub my clit. He’s not being gentle, and my body is responding to his roughness more than I ever thought possible.
His lips move down to the delicate skin of my neck. He uses his large body to press me firmly into the wall. Controlling me. Giving me no choice but to surrender to him and let him do what he wants to me. All the while, his hand never stops moving.
I can feel his erection pressing against my stomach. It’s so large and insanely hard that I wonder vaguely how I was ever able to take it inside of me. I want to run my fingers over it, but I can’t. He’s holding my body so I can’t move. I can only grip his strong arms and dig my nails into the fabric of his suit jacket.
He keeps working me with his talented fingers, and in no time I’m on the edge. He licks kisses up and down my neck, then bites gently—and that’s it for me. That’s my undoing.
I start convulsing around his fingers. I desperately press my lips together so I don’t make any noise as he makes me come. We are in the hallway where anyone could walk by and see us.
My body shakes with the power of my release. He keeps kissing my neck, keeps moving his fingers inside of me, keeps pinning me to the wall, until I finally come down.
I take in deep, shuddering breaths as my brain starts to work again. That was amazing.
He pulls back and looks down at me with eyes that ask so many questions. I don’t know how to answer them. I’m just as lost as he is.
I can’t deal with this right now. It’s all too much.
“I can’t do this,” I whisper. “I have to go.”
I place my hands on his solid chest and push him away. He resists at first. He grabs my arm and tries to kiss me, but I keep pushing and eventually he lets me.
I rip my arm out of his strong grasp, adjust my skirt, and hurry out the door without looking back.
29
V
The Dark Society’s end of term party springs upon me a couple of weeks later. I’ve been so busy with exams I haven’t had much time to think about it, but suddenly it’s the night. And I’m dreading it. I wish I had fought harder to avoid going with Heston, but I’m pretty sure Mrs. Aston wasn’t going to let me leave that house until I said yes.
Everly and I are getting ready, and as usual she’s letting me borrow one of her dresses. It’s a short, blush pink cocktail dress that’s fitted on top and puffs out at the bottom. Everly’s convinced me to give heels another try, so I’m pairing it with delicate, white, three-inch heels.
I feel guilty about all she’s done for me and wish there was a way I could pay her back. She keeps assuring me I shouldn’t worry about it, and that her family has enough money where a couple of dresses are literally nothing. I still feel guilty, but I guess I have to look at it with a different perspective. To her, this dress I’m wearing is less important than my five dollar dress is to me. When you have so much money material things don’t mean much anymore.
As for the Logan situation, I’ve gone cold turkey. I haven’t seen or heard from him since he gave me an incredible orgasm in the hallway of his house. I don’t think either of us really understand our feelings. We’ve hated each
other for so long, and there’s so much messy history because of our families, that I don’t think either of us want to deal with what’s happening between us.
I don’t know how I feel about him. I know that I can’t stand him. He’s so obnoxious and inconsiderate and cocky and an asshole—but then when I think about him, my skin feels hot and my body burns for his touch. This is one fucked-up situation.
And that’s why I want to just avoid him, and pretend none of it is happening. I have enough to deal with at the moment. School is incredibly stressful, and I barely have any free time—I certainly don’t have time to deal with my all-consuming attraction to Logan Aston.
There’s a sudden knock on the door, and Everly and I turn to each other.
“Who’s that?” she asks.
I shrug, then realization dawns on me and turns to dread. “Must be Heston.”
She gives me a sympathetic look. I told her all about what happened at the Aston’s place, though I left out the part about me and Logan. I didn’t tell her about us hooking up because if I tell her then it becomes real. She’ll ask questions, and I’ll have to confront my feelings about the situation. Until I absolutely have to, I just want to bury my head in the sand and pretend it’s not happening.
The knock on the door comes again, and I sigh with resignation. I drag my feet as I slowly walk over and open it.
Heston is standing there holding a small arrangement of flowers. His tall figure is dressed in a black suit and his blond hair is styled back in a loose pompadour. He looks good, I’ll give him that. If he wasn’t so evil, I’d think he was really hot. He’s grinning like this is a great occasion and not that I was forced to agree to go with him.
“You look incredible,” he says, as he takes me in head-to-toe.
“Uh, thanks…” Him looking at me like that is making me uncomfortable.
“I got you something.” He holds the small arrangement of flowers out to me. I then realize it’s a corsage—and that he has a matching boutonnière pinned to his lapel.
“No.” I take a step back. “I’m not wearing that.”
I see the briefest flash of annoyance cross his face, before he quickly covers it back up with a big smile.
“Why not?” He’s asking in a friendly way, but I can tell he’s loosing his patience. “I got it for you. I thought you’d like it. It’s tradition to match your date.”
“We can either go without it or not at all, because there’s no way in hell I’m wearing that.”
It’s just too much. I don’t even want to go with Heston, so I’m certainly not going to advertise to the world that I’m an idiot who’s on a date with their ex-bully. This is where I draw the line.
“Fine,” he says with a tight smile after he realizes he’s not going to win. “Here. You can throw it out.”
He moves to hand me the corsage, but I motion behind him. “There’s a trashcan right there. I’ll be out in a minute. I’m almost finished getting ready.”
As I shut the door, I can see the muscle in his neck bulging as he tries to hold it together. I walk back over to Everly to finish putting on my makeup. She shakes her head in disbelief.
“You’re a badass, Violet.”
I laugh hollowly. “I don’t feel very much like a badass. I feel like a weak person who’s being tricked and controlled by a powerful family.”
She grimaces sympathetically. “It’s not for long, just for tonight. Also, the second we get there, you can ditch him. We’ll find somewhere to hide and spend the rest of the party hanging out together.”
I hug her. “You are the best, Everly. Literally the best. I don’t deserve you.”
She laughs. “Oh, shut up! I’m not that great.”
“You really are.” I sigh and let her go. “I guess I should head out to my ‘date’.”
Saying the word “date” in regards to Heston makes me feel nauseous.
I do one last swipe of setting powder, apply my lipstick and then I’m ready to go. I grab my purse and walk over to the door.
“See you there!” Everly calls.
“See you,” I say and open the door.
Heston is standing there looking irritated, but when he sees me he smiles warmly.
“Ready?” he asks.
As ready as I’ll ever be. “Yes.”
We head down the stairs and out of the building. There’s a limo parked in front, and I walk right by it, but Heston stops.
“Here, this is our ride for the evening.” He motions towards it.
“Are you serious? The party’s only a ten-minute walk from here.”
“Yeah, but this is a special occasion. And do you really want to walk in those heels?”
He has a point about the shoes, but there’s no way I’m getting in a confined space with him. There’s no way I’m trapping myself in a car alone with my old bully.
I shake my head. “No, let’s walk.”
He looks at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “Are you serious? Why don’t we just drive? It’ll be easier, and the car’s already here. Besides, have you ever been in a limo before in your life?”
I bristle at that. Of course I’ve never been in a limo, and he knows it. He’s insinuating I should jump at the chance to experience it because I’m poor and I’ll never get the opportunity again.
“Well, I’m walking. You can do what you want,” I say and start down the path towards the party.
I hear a frustrated sigh behind me, and then a few seconds later Heston catches up.
During the ten-minute walk to the party, he makes pleasant small talk even though I’m not giving him a lot of feedback to work with. The party is being held on campus in one of the buildings where we have classes. The Dark Society rented out the entire place, and I wonder what kind of sway the members must have at this school to be able to do something like that.
By the time we arrive, my feet are killing me. I don’t want to give Heston the satisfaction of knowing he was right, so I try to hide the pain. We walk through the main doors, and into a large, open foyer filled with people. The place is decorated like if someone had a million dollars to spend on prom. There are white curtains draped everywhere, tons of glowing fake candles and even a fucking chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
“Let’s get a drink,” Heston says, and we wander over to one of the many bars spread throughout the room.
He orders two martinis, but I change mine to a cranberry juice. I want to keep my wits about me tonight. He seems annoyed but doesn’t say anything. We take our drinks and start walking around the party. It feels so surreal to be hanging out with him again. We didn’t date for very long, but this feels almost like old times—before he turned the school against me and made my life a living hell for a year. This whole thing is so weird.
As we wander, people keep coming up to talk to Heston. He includes me in the conversations so I never get the chance to slip away. I see Everly and Rogan arrive together shortly after us. She waves, and behind Heston’s back I make my hand into a gun and mimic shooting myself in the head. She laughs and then her and Rogan head to the bar.
Heston continues to talk to the small crowd gathered around us, and I can’t stand how charming he is. I’m bored, so my eyes drift around the room. The second Logan enters, I see him.
He looks so good it makes my mouth water. He’s in a navy blue suit that hugs all of his muscles. His dark hair is brushed back in a casual style which suits him better than a formal one. But my heart drops when I see a boutonnière on his lapel and a matching one on Bethany’s wrist.
She glides into the party on his arm, looking like a model with her black hair in a sleek updo and her short, sparkly, green dress showing off her legs—which stretch on for days. There’s a smug look on her perfectly painted red lips. She’s telling everyone she got him. She finally got Logan.
His eyes sweep over to me, and I quickly turn back to the conversation I’m supposed to be a part of.
Well, good for them, I think. They belong
together.
It never would have worked between the two of us, anyway. We are just too different. We come from two different worlds. He and Bethany are the same type of person and run in the same circles. They both grew up with money and privilege. She’s exactly the kind of girl he should be with, not me. They deserve each other.
But knowing all of that doesn’t stop the aching in my chest.
30
V
After about an hour, I still haven’t figured out a way to slip away from Heston and join Everly and Rogan, who are on the dance floor doing cheesy brother and sister dance moves together. I watch them longingly. It looks like so much fun, but I’m stuck here with Heston and his admirers.
“Excuse us for a moment,” Heston says and then takes my hand.
I jump in surprise and rip it out of his. He tries to laugh it off and cover it up so no one notices, by placing his hand on the small of my back and guiding me away from the crowd. I don’t like feeling his hands on me. It makes me feel icky. I try to squirm away from his touch.
He walks us over to a secluded corner.
“I just wanted to check in on you. Make sure you’re ok and enjoying yourself. You seem quiet tonight. You weren’t joining in the conversation over there,” he says sincerely.
“You know I don’t want to be here, Heston. I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m just uncomfortable around you because of what you did to me in high school.”
“I understand,” he says, but I get the impression he doesn’t. He just knows it’s the right thing to say at this moment. “I’ll keep apologizing until the day we die for how I treated you in the past. That wasn’t me. I was just young and immature, but I’m a new man now. How can I convince you?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly.
“Look, I want to talk to you about something.”
