‘I needed to see you,’ said Vee softly. Her voice was honey laced with thorns. ‘I know this can never be enough, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for doubting you.’
I didn’t move. I didn’t speak.
‘I still don’t know why Aidan set us up like that. He won’t speak to me,’ Vee continued.
I’d already given her my opinion as to why he’d done it. I wasn’t about to go over old ground. What was the point? When you drilled right down to it, Vee had chosen to believe her brother over me.
‘Can you ever forgive me?’ asked Vee.
‘For what?’ I asked. ‘For not trusting me? For believing the lies your brother told you over the truth I gave you? For standing by when he tried to kill me?’
‘I didn’t,’ Vee denied. ‘I told him to let you go.’
‘But there was a moment when you were going to let him do it. Admit it.’
Unshed tears filled Vee’s eyes. She tried to blink them away, quickly wiping her fingers over her eyes as if I wouldn’t notice.
I wanted her to cry.
I wanted her to be unable to sleep and to have to endure a fraction of the hurt I was feeling. At that moment her tears made me despise her even more.
‘I know I have no right to ask, but please forgive me?’ Vee asked.
I straightened up, my arms falling to my sides. I walked over to Vee, moving slowly, giving her a chance to flee. If she had any sense she’d leave, but she stayed put though her expression spoke volumes.
I was scaring her.
Good.
I stood before her, looking down at her face. So many thoughts and feelings were swirling through me at that moment, none of them good.
‘Nathan, please . . .’
‘Please what?’ I asked. Was that really my voice, so bitingly cold, so unrelentingly hard?
‘Tell me what I need to do to make things right between us,’ Vee whispered.
‘What’re you prepared to do?’ I asked.
‘Anything it takes. I promise,’ said Vee. ‘I’ll do whatever it takes to get us back to the way we were.’
Her hand moved up to cup my face. I pulled away. Vee’s hand fell to her side.
‘Prove it,’ I demanded.
‘How?’
‘Take off your clothes.’
A stillness swept over Vee as she looked at me. ‘Why?’
‘Because I asked you to,’ I replied evenly. ‘You did say you’d do anything it takes to make things right.’
Vee and I regarded each other, something ugly in the room with us. Vee raised her chin. ‘I’m not about to let you hurt me, Nathan.’
‘That isn’t my intention.’
‘What is your intention then?’
I shrugged. ‘I’m horny. I thought we could spend some time in bed or against a wall or on the floor – I don’t really care. And then you can leave.’
‘You don’t get to treat me like a whore, Nathan,’ Vee said furiously.
‘Why not? You were quick enough to believe that I was one,’ I pointed out bitterly. ‘Why was that, Vee? If I wasn’t a drone, would you have been as eager to think the worst of me? I don’t think so.’
‘You being a drone had nothing to do with it. It wasn’t you. Don’t you see that? It was me. My doubts, my insecurities, my naivety. Me. I couldn’t quite bring myself to believe that you felt the same way about me as I felt about you.’ Vee’s words cascaded like a waterfall. ‘I couldn’t bring myself to believe anyone outside my family could truly love me. Look at me. I’ve been nowhere. I’ve done nothing. I’ve been the only human inside this metal coffin for three years. Why would you want to be with me? That’s what I kept asking myself. Whereas you and Anjuli, you’d been through so much together, shared so much. I could believe in you and her as a couple far more easily than I could believe in you and me. That was my mistake. I messed up.’
I hardly heard her. All I could see before me was someone who was supposed to love me the most, but who had been prepared to stand by and watch me die.
‘D’you need help taking your clothes off?’ I asked evenly.
Vee closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, they shone with unshed tears.
‘I won’t have sex with you, Nate, not like this.’
‘So much for doing anything to make it right,’ I said with contempt. ‘Turns out that promise was as empty as all the others you made at our joining ceremony.’
‘I do want your forgiveness, Nathan, but not at any price,’ said Vee. Slow tears ran down her cheeks. ‘I guess I was wrong about that.’
I turned my back on her. ‘You need to leave. Now.’ I closed my eyes, fighting to regain control of myself.
Moments later my door opened and then closed. I was alone.
77
I left my quarters, ready to start my shift on the bridge. Anjuli was outside my room, obviously waiting for me.
‘Yes, Anjuli?’ I asked wearily.
After my conversation with Nathan, I’d spent the rest of the night staring up into the dark of my room. I had to face the truth. Any love Nathan had felt for me was well and truly dead. And I had no one to blame but myself. I hadn’t once shown that I had faith in him. I hadn’t trusted him because I hadn’t trusted myself. I couldn’t quite believe that I’d fallen for anyone as quickly as I fell for him and the fact that he felt the same way seemed too good to be true. So it was easy for Aidan to convince me that it wasn’t.
Nathan said that Aidan had acted out of jealousy.
That made two of us.
A sibling trait obviously.
I should’ve held onto what Nathan and I had with all my might. If I’d had more experience or sense or confidence, I would never have let anyone get between us. But I’d let self-doubts and suspicions drive us apart.
And I’d lost him.
‘Vee, are you all right?’ Anjuli frowned at me.
‘What is it, Anjuli?’
‘Well, I . . . I don’t want to tell tales and I know you’re going through a lot right now but I just wanted to clear something up,’ said Anjuli reluctantly.
‘I’m listening.’
‘Aidan was the one who suggested that I should monitor the Mazon comms. He said my initiative would impress you.’
What?
‘Aidan put you up to it?’ I frowned. ‘Why didn’t you say something before?’
‘Because it was my mistake,’ Anjuli replied unhappily. ‘I should’ve cleared it with you or Commander Linedecker first but I was desperate to make a good impression. And if I then turned round and said that Aidan suggested it, it would’ve looked like I was just trying to pin the blame on your brother.’
‘I see,’ I replied.
‘And one other thing,’ Anjuli began. ‘Your brother was the one who suggested that I persuade Nathan to talk to you about letting me back on the bridge. Aidan said I should speak to Nathan about it every chance I got.’
I briefly closed my eyes. Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse . . . Aidan had been ahead of me every step of the way.
‘Thanks for letting me know,’ I said.
Anjuli nodded before she turned round to head back to the engine room.
‘Anjuli, you’re needed on the bridge,’ I called after her.
She spun round, her eyes hopeful. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really. You’re assigned to the bridge until further notice.’
‘Oh thank you, Vee. I won’t let you down again, I promise.’
Though I was also heading that way, Anjuli didn’t bother waiting for me. She practically ran to get there. I followed her onto the bridge, too heartsick to dredge up a smile.
Nathan was already at the navigation panel sitting in Aidan’s usual place. The commander, Sam and Hedda were at the various stations around the bridge. Anjuli sat down next to Nathan, who was concentrating on the screen before him. I forced myself not to look at him. I had a job to do and I needed to get on with it. I’d do my grieving in private.
We were less t
han an hour away from the wormhole that would take us out of Mazon space. I needed to concentrate on getting us through that.
Anjuli and Nathan spoke quietly between themselves. To my left, the commander, Hedda and Sam did the same. I read the reports from the medical bay to get an update on the progress of those who’d been made ill in the mess hall poisoning and those who had been injured by my brother. Then I had to steel myself to read the report on those who’d recently died – Max and Dooli, Maria and Darren. Their funerals had been scheduled to take place once we were through the wormhole, after which their bodies would be jettisoned. Closing my eyes, I rubbed my fingers slowly over my forehead.
So much destruction.
Space wasn’t the place for those who didn’t like adventure, but all of us on board had seen far too much of death. And there was more than one way to die. The death of hopes and dreams and desires was perhaps more cruel because you had to live every single day with the pain of their loss. In spite of myself, I glanced at Nathan. He was watching me. Embarrassed, I looked away.
Anjuli whispered something to him and he nodded. I turned my attention back to the ship’s reports.
‘Vee, we have trouble,’ Nathan said.
My head snapped up. ‘What?’
‘There are two Mazon battle cruisers between us and the wormhole,’ Nathan replied. ‘They obviously couldn’t pinpoint our exact position as we travelled but they must’ve guessed our destination and got there ahead of us.’
I sat back in my chair. The Mazon were ahead of us and there was no ion storm to hide in this time. We had come this far, only to fail.
78
This was so damned unfair, to get so close to escaping Mazon territory only to be ambushed at the last moment. What had been a lifetime to sort out my problems had turned into a mere matter of minutes. The promise of all the time in the world had been broken.
‘How soon before we encounter them?’ asked Vee with a calm I could only envy.
I checked my panel. ‘Nineteen minutes.’
‘How soon before they determine our exact location?’
‘At our current speed, less than six minutes,’ I replied.
‘Orders, Captain?’ said Anjuli.
‘Put the ship on silent red alert,’ said Vee.
‘Captain?’ Mum moved to stand beside Vee.
‘I have a plan, Commander, but you’re not going to like it,’ said Vee.
‘Does it beat dying?’ asked Mum drily.
‘Depends on your point of view,’ Vee replied.
‘Let’s hear it.’
‘There are a number of escape pods on board. I suggest we use them.’
‘You want to abandon ship?’ Mum frowned.
‘No. I want to put your . . . our dead in the escape pods,’ Vee replied. ‘And we rig each one with false life-sign readings so the Mazon will think exactly as you did, that we’re abandoning ship and individually making for the wormhole. They’ll assume that’s the plan because the escape pods are so small, they make for a much harder moving target.’
‘A harder target but not impossible,’ Mum pointed out. ‘And the closer the escape pods get to the Mazon ships, the easier they’ll be to destroy.’
‘That’s what I’m counting on,’ said Vee. ‘Because the escape pods won’t only be rigged with false life-signs.’
Pause.
‘You want to rig each pod with explosives,’ Mum realized.
Vee nodded. ‘If we’re lucky, the pods will detonate close enough to the Mazon ships to do some serious damage and we can make a run for the wormhole whilst the Mazon are repairing their ships.’
‘Sounds like a plan,’ said Mum. ‘Why don’t you look happier about it?’
Mum was right. Vee was looking troubled.
‘For this to work, the escape pods can’t be detonated until they are within striking distance of the Mazon ships,’ said Vee. ‘If even one of the pods is destroyed before then, the resultant force of the explosion will alert the Mazon to what we’re up to and the plan will fail. It means that each escape pod will have to be controlled from our ship. They can’t travel on a predictable trajectory. It has to look like each is under the control of its occupant.’
‘I can use the computer to plot a course for each one,’ said Anjuli.
‘Plotting a course won’t do it. We need to remotely fly all four simultaneously and make all the micro adjustments necessary when the Mazon open fire on them,’ Vee said.
‘Can you do that, Anjuli?’ asked Mum.
Anjuli shook her head. ‘I can’t fly four escape pods all at once. That’s not humanly possible.’
‘Nathan?’ Mum queried.
I shook my head.
‘It can’t be done.’ Mum echoed what I was thinking.
‘Aidan can do it,’ Vee said quietly.
My blood ran cold. Was she seriously suggesting we allow that killing machine back on the bridge?
‘Your call, Commander,’ Vee said to Mum.
Mum looked around the bridge. ‘Sam, get him up here,’ she said.
‘Mum, you can’t be serious,’ I protested.
Mum scowled at me. ‘Are you questioning my orders, Nathan?’
Slowly I shook my head. ‘No, Commander.’
Sam issued the command to the guards outside Aidan’s detention cell to bring him up to the bridge. Then he put a work detail on filling the escape pods with those who had been killed and packing plasma explosives around each body. Time was of the essence. Less than a minute later, Aidan was standing beside me at the navigation panel flanked by Erica carrying a pulser rifle even though she had to know that they were useless against him.
Aidan looked at me pointedly. For two credits I would’ve gladly kicked his arse. What was I talking about? I’d gladly kick his arse for free. Instead I reluctantly relinquished my seat. Vee walked over to him as he sat down and squatted down beside him, looking into his eyes.
‘Aidan, the Mazon are between us and the wormhole. It’s vital that we make it past the Mazon ships. We’re going to launch four escape pods which are packed with bodies and explosives,’ said Vee.
‘Why do they contain bodies?’ asked Aidan.
‘In case the Mazon scan the pods. Their instruments need to detect people in those pods. I want you to manoeuvre the pods towards the two Mazon battle cruisers – two towards one, the other two towards the second ship. When they’re close enough, the Mazon will destroy the pods and the resulting explosions should disable their ships for long enough for us to make a break for the wormhole. D’you understand?’
‘Of course . . . sis,’ said Aidan evenly.
I didn’t miss the way Vee flinched.
‘Sam, are the escape pods ready?’ asked Vee.
‘Yes, Captain,’ Sam replied. ‘They’ll be launched on your mark.’
‘Nathan, how soon before the Mazon know our position?’
‘Ninety seconds,’ I replied.
‘Nathan, if this doesn’t work, I need you to plot our own escape route. We’ll need to head away from the wormhole at maximum speed,’ said Vee.
‘My assessment is that the Mazon won’t move too far away from their current position. They know we need to travel through the wormhole so they’ll play a waiting game,’ said Mum.
‘I agree, Commander,’ Vee told Mum.
‘Nathan, launch the escape pods eight seconds after the Mazon start coming towards us,’ Vee ordered. ‘Aidan, the moment the pods are launched, I want you to take over their flight, OK? Make it seem like they’re heading for the wormhole but are inadvertently travelling too close to the Mazon ships. They must not under any circumstances be destroyed before they reach the Mazon ships.’
‘Understood,’ said Aidan, his hands poised on the controls.
Our lives resting in his hands? Well, that didn’t sit well with me at all. I was going to make sure I kept both eyes on everything he did when those escape pods launched. I didn’t trust that android as far as I could throw him.
Thanks to him, I’d lost Vee.
As if reading my thoughts, Aidan turned to me – and smiled.
If our survival hadn’t depended on him, I would’ve gladly taken a pulser to the base of his metallic skull where it would do the most good.
I knew from my time on Callisto that hatred didn’t do any good. It ate away at you like acid until very little that was still human was left.
But when it came to Aidan – and his sister – I’d happily make an exception.
79
Well, it was a good try.
The escape pods travelled at speed towards the Mazon ships. I watched their progress on the bridge’s viewscreen. The Mazon were fast advancing just as I knew they would. One of the Mazon ships was approximately two kilometres ahead of the other one and it was that one which targeted the nearest escape pods. Only the Mazon ship did its job a little too well. Three, instead of two, of the escape pods closest to it exploded. The Mazon ship immediately listed to starboard, dead in space. However one escape pod wasn’t enough to put the other Mazon ship out of action. And it was forewarned. Two directed energy blasts later and the remaining escape pod had been destroyed before it got anywhere near close enough to do damage to the second Mazon ship.
We couldn’t fully retreat and go back the way we’d come because there were more Mazon ships behind us. We couldn’t go forward as the second Mazon battle cruiser was now between us and the wormhole, waiting for us to make our move. The first Mazon ship wasn’t the only one that was dead in space. We were between a rock and a hard place and I could see only one way out – and only then if I moved fast.
I pulled off my command bracelets and handed them to the commander.
‘Commander, you’re in charge. Make sure you get your people safely to Mendela Prime. Once I’m on board the landing craft, I’ll hand over command of this ship to you.’
‘What d’you mean? What’re you going to do?’ asked the commander sharply.
‘I’m going to disable that other Mazon ship by using the landing craft to ram it. If I time this right, with enough speed and momentum I should be able to get right through their hull and reach their engine core. The moment you see an opening, just head for the wormhole and don’t look back.’ I was already heading for the door.
Chasing the Stars Page 30
