by Susan Stoker
Feeling jittery and knowing she needed a hit so she wouldn’t crash, she told herself that it would only take an hour or so and she’d be back. Stevie was more than old enough to stay home by himself now. She no longer had to hide the fact she left her child alone, like she used to when he was younger.
“Love you!” she called out to Stevie through the door.
There was no response.
Shaking her head, she turned to head down the hall. Seeing the bottle of vodka sitting on the kitchen table, she made a detour and grabbed it. She took a long swallow before putting it back down. The burn of the liquor settling in her stomach went a long way toward making her feel better. She’d be okay now until she could get to her dealer’s.
* * *
Nadine pried her eyes open and stared blindly at the dilapidated trailer in front of her. She missed her house. Missed having money. When she was flush, she’d let her dealer and his friends fuck her on her terms. Now that she had nothing—and he knew it—she had to do what he wanted, when he wanted, in order to get what she needed.
And she needed the drugs. Her teeth were rotten from years of use, but she didn’t care. She was skinny. She saved a shit load of money because she didn’t often feel the need to eat. But she didn’t really care about any of that, either.
Her reason to try to keep going was gone. She was living only for revenge at the moment. That’s all she cared about.
So she’d let her dealer fuck her in the ass, as long as she got a rock in exchange. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but making sure the person responsible for her son’s death paid the price.
* * *
She felt great. Euphoric. Like she was on top of the world. She didn’t care about her stupid ex-husband and his new wife. Didn’t care that the bitch was pregnant, that Preston was bragging to anyone and everyone about how happy he was.
Fuck him.
Swerving so she didn’t hit the person who’d stepped right out into the crosswalk in front of her, Nadine ignored the sound of horns blasting. Idiot drivers.
Frowning, Nadine pulled down her street. Why were there so many flashing lights? They were hurting her eyes.
Pulling as close to her house as she could, ignoring the thump as she ran over something, Nadine didn’t even notice that she’d pulled onto a neighbor’s lawn.
Flames were shooting out of the roof of her house. Out of the windows. Smoke rose into the sky, visible in the flashing lights from all the emergency vehicles.
Her drug-addled mind couldn’t process what she was seeing.
She got out of her car and stumbled. She couldn’t take her eyes off the man who’d just emerged from her house.
He was carrying Stevie.
A limp Stevie.
She heard him say, “He’s gone. We were too late,” before placing him on the ground. Then he stood and turned his back on her son.
Rage burst to life inside her, which was unusual. In all the years she’d been doing meth, she’d never felt much of anything except euphoria after a hit. But now her heart raced, and a feeling of hatred so deep and dark rose within her.
He wasn’t even trying to save him! The fireman was late to the fire—and it had killed her son. He killed her son!
She memorized the man’s features, knowing in that instant it was now her mission in life to destroy him.
She rushed up to him and got in his face. “You killed my baby!” she screamed.
The firefighter took a step backward, but she wasn’t going to let him get away. He had to admit what he’d done.
“You should’ve been faster! You took too long to get to him! He’s dead because of you!”
The firefighter held his hands up. “Stand back, ma’am,” he ordered.
“No, you did this! It’s your fault!”
He just looked down at her arrogantly. So much like Preston. He didn’t care. He didn’t have one ounce of feeling inside him. He’d let her baby die.
“You need to step back for your own safety,” an officer said as he took hold of her arm.
“He killed my son!” she yelled.
“Come on,” the officer said.
Nadine fought him. She was strong, she could take him. She continued to yell at the firefighter, even as another cop came up and started to talk to him. Then he turned his back on her. That was unacceptable.
She fought with everything she had, and it took four cops to finally pin her down and get her inside the back of a police car. Right before they slammed the door, she screamed, “You’re going to regret this! Mark my words. You. Will. Regret. Killing. My. Son!”
* * *
Nadine startled when a knock sounded at her window. Looking up, she saw the smarmy face of her dealer.
“It’s about time,” she said grumpily as she rolled down the window.
“Believe it or not, I don’t live to serve you,” the man said with a smirk. “But now that I’m here with my bud, you can serve us both.”
“Whatever. Did you bring it?” Nadine asked.
He held up a small baggie containing a few rocks. There was enough there to last her through what was left of the night and into the next day. Her mouth watered at the thought of the high that was waiting. She reached for the bag.
The dealer snatched it back. “Uh-uh. Payment first.”
Sneering, Nadine climbed out of the car and immediately tripped and landed on the ground on her hands and knees. The men didn’t help her up, merely laughed as she got to her feet. Not caring, Nadine led the way to the trailer. There wasn’t much inside. A bed. A desk. A beat-up old sofa. That was about it. But she didn’t need anything else. Now that Stevie wasn’t there, she didn’t need anything at all.
Feeling sadness start to creep its way in, Nadine shook her head. No, she wasn’t going to be sad. Or feel guilty. Nope. What happened to her son wasn’t her fault.
But the words of the cops on that horrid night wouldn’t stay out of her head.
* * *
“Your son had a blood alcohol level of over .2. Do you know what that means?” the officer asked.
Of course she knew. She wasn’t an idiot. But all Nadine could think about was getting out of the room so she could get to her dealer. She felt sick and needed some meth. Badly.
“Yes, sir.”
“It means that he was most likely unconscious when the fire started. Passed out drunk. The fire investigator believes it started in the kitchen. Probably sparked from the refrigerator. Many people forget to clean behind and under the fridge. Dust and debris builds up. And yours was old, which is another factor. More tests will be done, but it looks like the fire was accidental.”
Some consolation that was. Nadine kept her mouth shut as the officer continued.
“You said that your son was home alone. Where were you?”
“I had an errand to run,” she said.
“What errand?” the cop pressed.
Thinking fast, Nadine said, “He’s been having problems at school.” Which wasn’t a lie. “And I had a meeting with his teacher.” That was a lie. But it wasn’t as if she could admit she’d been meeting her drug dealer.
“Hmmm,” the officer said, clearly not believing her. “Anyway, your son was plastered. There were several bottles around the couch. We’re assuming that’s where he passed out. Where did he get the booze?”
Nadine pressed her lips together. It wasn’t illegal for her to have alcohol in the house. She was an adult. And she didn’t mind when Stevie drank with her. She was careful to only let him have a little. He needed to learn how to hold his liquor. It would make him a better man.
“Was it yours?”
She shrugged. “Probably. I mean, I had a few bottles in the house. That’s not against the law. But he knew not to touch them.” That was also a lie, but again, at this point, she needed to do whatever was necessary to make sure she didn’t go to jail. How dare this asshole interrogate her when she didn’t do anything wrong! He should be talking to the damn firefighter. Demanding
to know why it took so long for him to get there and why he hadn’t saved Stevie. He should be arresting that asshole, not wasting his time talking to her.
“It’s not illegal,” the officer agreed.
Nadine tried to look as pathetic as possible. She squeezed a few tears out for good measure.
The man sighed.
Inside, she smirked. Men were suckers for tears. Preston had always hated when she’d cried, and she frequently managed to get a few rocks out of her dealer when she brought on the waterworks.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” he said. “You’ll have to see the judge for your DUI charge from last night. But from what we can tell, you had nothing to do with the fire. It was bad luck that your son decided to experiment with alcohol on the same night the fire started. But you need to use this incident to turn your life around. Stop drinking, and for God’s sake, get off the meth. It’s going to kill you.”
He was wrong. It had already killed her. She was a walking, talking corpse, and without Stevie, she didn’t even care. She’d reach over and grab the officer’s gun right now and put it to her head if not for one thing.
She had to make sure the firefighter paid for being too late to save her son.
“I will,” she lied again.
The officer stared at her for a moment, as if he knew she was still bullshitting him.
“I’m going to give you some pamphlets. Use them. The organizations on them really want to help.”
Nadine nodded, knowing she’d throw the damn things away the first chance she got.
Sighing again, the officer stood. Nadine followed suit. “Come on. I’ll make sure you have a ride to wherever you want to go.”
That was the thing. She had nowhere to go. No house. No husband. No friends. No son.
“I’ll be fine,” she said with a weak smile.
Thirty minutes later, Nadine left the station with one thing on her mind. Getting to her dealer and getting a hit. Then she’d start researching. She had to be careful. Do things just the right way to cause maximum pain…pain like she was feeling.
* * *
The second the door of the trailer shut behind them, the dealer and his friend began undoing their belts. “You know the drill,” her dealer said.
Without a word, Nadine pulled off her clothes and leaned over the sofa. She didn’t care what they did as long as she got what she needed out of it.
As one of the men—she didn’t know which one—did what he’d come to do, Nadine’s mind drifted again, and she remembered the look of frustration on Hudson’s face earlier that night. He didn’t know what was going on yet, and she loved every second of his uncertainty.
He’d know soon enough.
Then he’d feel as much pain as she did.
Maybe then he’d be sorry.
Maybe then he’d wish that he’d moved a little faster that night.
That he’d gotten to Stevie faster.
Ignoring what was being done to her body, Nadine closed her eyes and got lost in her mind. Lost in the satisfaction she knew she’d finally feel once Hudson understood what was going to happen—and why.
Chapter Eleven
A few days later, no one was any closer to figuring out who was behind setting Crash’s car on fire. It was definitely arson, but other than the “Are you sorry?” note written on the back windshield, they had no concrete evidence.
Nothing else had happened in the ensuing days, and everyone was being cautiously optimistic that maybe it was simply punk kids acting out, and not something more sinister.
Taco planned on picking up Koren around four. She was working on travel details for a group that was going to the Bahamas for a wedding. He’d talked to her that morning when he got off shift and had already been eager to see her.
And that was another new thing for him. He hadn’t understood how his friends could spend every waking moment—when not at work—with their women and not get bored. But now he did. Even if he and Koren didn’t do anything other than sit in the same room and watch TV together, he felt content.
She didn’t constantly hound him about his day or want gory details about calls. She didn’t pressure him to try to make up with his parents. She didn’t feel the need to go out and party. He knew she’d been trying to spend time with her best friends while he was on shift, so she could spend his off time with him, and that meant the world to Taco.
The bottom line was, being around Koren was relaxing. And he hadn’t realized how much he wanted and needed that in a girlfriend until her. Being around Jen hadn’t been relaxing in the least. She constantly wanted to be entertained, and she’d always asked him a ton of questions. Now he understood that she’d been fishing for information about Quinn, but at the time, all it had done was make him tense.
Taco still worried a bit about the fires, but since there was no more information, there was nothing he or his friends could do but encourage their women to be safe and alert.
The sound of his cell ringing brought Taco out of his musing. Hoping it was Koren—which was something else he’d rarely done in the past…looked forward to chatting about nothing with his girlfriend—he rushed into the kitchen to answer it.
Seeing it was Beth, and feeling bad about the pang of disappointment that struck him, Taco clicked it on. “Hello?”
“Hey, Taco. It’s Beth.”
“Hi. What’s up?”
“I…uh…Cade encouraged me to call.”
Taco tensed. He couldn’t figure out Beth’s tone, but it wasn’t good. “Why? What’s wrong? Did you find out something about the fires?”
“Yes and no.”
When she didn’t continue for a long moment, Taco huffed out a breath. “Spit it out, Beth.”
“Right. In my defense, I was looking into every little thing to try to figure this out. I left no stone unturned. Looked under every nook and cranny. I wouldn’t stop until—”
“Beth,” Taco warned.
“Sorry, right. After Crash’s car, I was trying to figure out what’s different now than a few weeks ago, before Chief’s shed went up in a puff of smoke, since that was the first incident. And really, the only thing different is that you’re dating Koren. I had to do it. I didn’t have bad intentions and only wanted to protect you and everyone else, but… Iinvestigatedher.”
Her last few words were all strung together, and it took a moment for Taco to comprehend what she was saying. When he did, he felt his hackles rising. “What?” he asked.
“I know, I know! It was a shitty thing to do. And I admit, I started even before Chief’s shed caught fire. I was worried about you, Taco. I couldn’t stand the thought of you getting screwed over again. But I didn’t find anything that worried me at all. Your girl is squeaky clean. She had the all-American upbringing. Two parents with good jobs who everyone seems to admire and like. Koren got good grades in high school and college and hasn’t ever been in trouble with the law except for a bunch of parking tickets when she was in college…but who hasn’t gotten a parking ticket on a university campus? Parking always sucks. She started out working in a brick-and-mortar travel agency. Can I call it that? You know what I mean. Anyway, she got great annual reviews and eventually she decided to go freelance.”
“You investigated Koren?” Taco bit out.
“Well…yeah. That’s what I’m telling you.”
“You had no right.”
“Taco—”
“I get it. You’re the computer expert. But you violated her privacy, Beth. That’s not cool! Not cool at all.”
“I know,” Beth moaned. “But…she was new to the group. And after Jen, how could I not?”
Humiliation swept over Taco in a swift tide. “Right, because I’m the stupid schmuck who was dating the serial killer. I get it.”
“It’s not like that,” Beth replied softly.
“Then explain it to me,” Taco said sharply. “I start dating a nice woman, and you go and stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
�
�I did it for you!” Beth said desperately. “And Jen was a bitch, there’s no doubt, but you weren’t the only one duped by her. We all were. Including me. I didn’t particularly like her, but I never suspected she was only with you to get closer to Quinn. None of us did. I’d do anything for you, Taco. Just like I would do anything for the rest of the gang.”
“Excuse me if I think violating Koren’s privacy is something you should be thanked for.”
“She knows,” Beth admitted. “I told her that I’d done a background check on her. She wasn’t happy, but she said she understood.”
“Well, I don’t,” Taco responded. He knew Beth was a computer genius who had a habit of doing things online that she shouldn’t, but he never thought he had to worry about her digging into his personal life. And Koren was definitely a big part of his personal life.
“I know you’re pissed at me. I also understand why. I’m sorry for hurting you, but, Taco…I’d probably do it again if it meant keeping the people I love safe.”
Taco tried to understand. But the hurt and anger that she’d gone behind his back was too much for him to get over instantly. “So what did you find, then?”
“How do you know I found anything?” she asked.
“Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have called me and admitted to looking into her background.”
“Right… Well, before, I just looked at Koren and her immediate family. But after the fire at Sophie’s, and Crash’s car going up in smoke, I expanded my search. Then I talked to Cade, and he told me I had to call you.”
