Kristina was running, the view from the camera drone in front of her jerky and unfocused.
“Don’t come after me, Margie,” she said, looking over her shoulder quickly at the blur of dark forms in the background. “I found something down here but now they’ve caught up to me. You know what they say: no one ever gets out of here. Don’t follow me, I mean it. They’re–” She left the frame of the video as if she’d stumbled, and the beings chasing her came into full view of the camera.
Terrifying bodies of various configurations, with appendages made of blades and mouths crammed with too many teeth, bore down on the camera’s position. I could make out something that looked at least nine feet tall, in a shimmering black outfit that covered their entire body including their head. Prosthetic fingers, sharp like talons, reached out toward the camera, and the face mask twisted into a hideous grin under a headpiece that resembled horns. Another one of them unfurled a set of pitch black mech wings which blocked out all light except the otherworldly glow of their seven pairs of eyes. A terrible sound somewhere between laughter and screaming filled the room, then the video went dead.
“I see,” Wibble said after a long pause. “Well, I suppose that explains it.”
“Dis,” Pplimz said evenly, as if there was nothing even remotely terrifying about the underworld society of cybernetically enhanced demons.
“No authorities in Hub City are going to be willing to go after them,” I said.
“I imagine not,” Pplimz agreed.
“Well, this is interesting, after all,” Wibble said, as if it were merely a particularly challenging brainteaser as opposed to a person’s life we were dealing with. “Dis demons don’t generally kidnap people. My understanding is that they don’t particularly care for strangers in their environment. How very interesting, indeed!”
I replayed the video clip. “I don’t think they kidnapped her, exactly,” I said. “I- I suspect she was already down there when they found her. And now they just aren’t letting her leave.”
“Ooh,” Wibble said, her body pulsing yellow and green, flippers waggling in what appeared to be delight. “Is your sister some kind of thrill-seeker, delving into dangerous territories for the fun of it?”
“Something like that,” I answered.
“The rumors that no one escapes from Dis are gravely overstated,” Pplimz said with authority, and I raked my eyes over their cybernetic body. I’m not naive. I knew full well that not all cyborgs are Dis demons. I also knew that Dis demons are cyborgs, or something close enough to be called such, and that I was sitting across the desk from a cyborg who seemed to know a great deal about Dis.
“We’ll take the case,” Wibble said before I could come to a conclusion about my misgivings. She floated over to the desk and, using some kind of invisible kinetic force, passed me a tablet with a contract ready to be completed. The terms were within my means, so I added my name and thumbed my agreement.
After I left their office, I spent the rest of the day clearing my schedule. I might have to miss out on some lucrative business opportunities, but getting Kristina back was more valuable to me than a couple of days’ worth of work. If this was what it was going to take, so be it.
My communicator chimed with a message from Wibble, asking me to meet her and Pplimz at the edge of a nearby aquatic enclave that evening. There was a rather pleasant green space adjacent to the water, which made for a recreational area for non-aquatic species as well as acting as a base for the airlocks which allowed communication between the air and water realms.
When I arrived, there was a small crowd enjoying the evening. A group of squat, multi-armed beings with their heads entirely covered in colorful garments which fell to their first pair of arms sat on a picnic blanket talking loudly and ingesting glowing cubes of what I assumed was sustenance. Near the water, a bronze giant dressed in the most exquisite silken robes, as if he had never once seen battle, walked hand-in-hand with an armor-plated saurian, her wings trailing behind them in the breeze. Takes all kinds, I thought, as I scanned the park for the detectives.
I finally spotted Pplimz sitting on a bench facing the water, their long arms slung over the seat back. They were wearing a human-style fine silver and dark gray pinstriped trouser suit, tailored snugly to their thin body. A charcoal brimmed hat perched precariously atop their screen head, which distracted me enough that it took me quite a while to recognize Wibble floating next to them. I hadn’t noticed in the dim light of their office how translucent Wibble really was – I could very clearly see Pplimz right through her.
I joined them on the bench, the three of us making just another motley group of beings enjoying a pleasant evening in the park.
“Have you learned where Kristina is being kept?” I asked, keeping my voice down.
“I have made a thorough examination of the video image you provided,” Pplimz said, carefully staring out at the water as if not looking at me would make anyone watching believe that we weren’t talking to each other. Whatever. I could play pretend spies if that’s what they wanted.
“And?”
“And I was able to match some of the background footage to a known Dis area in the Lawless Zone,” Pplimz continued. “I believe Kristina is not that far from here.” Pplimz swiveled their screen head briefly in my direction, and cast their eyes downward before returning to look at the water.
“We’re saying we think she’s somewhere underground, right here in Hub City,” Wibble explained enthusiastically.
“I see,” I said, evenly. It wasn’t exactly news to me – that’s where I thought she was, too. But I wasn’t prepared to share everything I knew with the detectives, so waiting to see if they could figure it out seemed like a good test of their skills. They passed, more quickly than I thought they might. Perhaps they were as good as their reputation implied after all.
“So, what’s the next step?” I asked, as a splash from the water caught my attention. A small, green saurian leaped out of the water to become half-beached on the shore. A pair of beautiful quartz sylicates walked over to the marinusaur, their rocky bodies surprisingly graceful as they moved. They sat down at the water’s edge, and the three of them began to have an animated conversation.
“We’ll just have to mount a daring rescue!” Wibble said, flippers waggling.
“I am quite certain that ichthyosaur is in no need of our assistance,” Pplimz said, waving an arm in the direction of the beach. “That is an amphibious species, I believe.”
“Not here,” Wibble said, exasperated. “In the underground warrens beneath the city. To rescue our missing person, satisfying our client, and fulfilling our mission in a grand adventure!”
“Alternatively,” Pplimz said archly, “we could leverage our extensive contacts in various areas in the city, and see if we can make a trade. I find it highly improbable that anyone in the house of Dis has a strong desire to feed and lodge a human for an indeterminate amount of time.”
“Oh, we never get to have any fun,” Wibble said, sulking.
“We are not here to have fun, Wibble,” Pplimz said. “We are here to do a job.”
“You’re only saying that because you never installed that Sense of Adventure upgrade I suggested you get,” Wibble said, floating out to face Pplimz. “I should just buy it for you for your next naming day.”
“I do not have a naming day, as you well know,” Pplimz said, turning away from Wibble, who then floated directly in front of Pplimz’s screen, making sure she stayed in their view no matter where they looked.
“Anyone can have a naming day,” Wibble said. “You just have to pick a date.”
“I do not wish to have a naming day and I especially do not wish for you to be giving me personality upgrades as gifts on said naming day.”
“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” Wibble said. “You never let me do anything nice for you! I just want to–”
“Excuse me!” I interrupted. “Can you have your weird personal argument on your own
time? My… sister is being held captive by demons and even you agree that they’re not going to keep her alive forever. We need to do something!”
“We are doing something,” Wibble said, sounding confused at my outburst. “We’re planning.”
“No, you aren’t,” I said, not bothering to keep the anger out of my voice. “You’re ruining a nice evening at the water’s edge by bickering. And you’re wasting my time!”
“Perhaps you forget that I am not a being like yourself,” Pplimz said, only slightly patronizingly, “who can conduct only one or two activities at once. While we are meeting here, I am also negotiating with several of my contacts in the Lawless Zone to effect what I trust will be an appealing bargain for the return of your sibling. I expect that we shall have a deal in place by tomorrow.”
I had no retort for that. Of course, Pplimz was multithreaded, why wouldn’t they be? What was the point of being more machine than organic matter if you couldn’t behave like a computer?
“Of course,” I apologized. “What kind of… item are you thinking you will need for the trade? I’ll have to make some calculations to see what I’m… able to afford.”
“I do not believe we will require anything additional from you,” Pplimz said.
“Consider it all a part of the service,” Wibble added.
“That’s very reasonable.”
“We will need to finish our inquiries, but we should meet again tomorrow,” Pplimz said.
“You want to meet again?” I asked. “Why?”
“This is a human matter and, as such, it requires a human’s involvement.”
“Surely my presence is only going to make things more complicated,” I said. “I’d just be in the way.”
“Nonsense!” Wibble said. “We couldn’t possibly do this without you. You’re the client, you must be there.”
“For once, Wibble is entirely correct,” Pplimz said, standing, the meeting obviously over. “We shall contact you tomorrow.”
I could tell that they were adamant, but I still didn’t understand what possible use I could be – or why I’d have to put myself in a potentially dangerous situation.
“Just be there when we call,” Wibble added cheerfully enough as she floated away, but I clearly caught the implied “or else.”
The next day I woke early expecting to hear from Wibble or Pplimz, but there was nothing. The day wore on with no sign from either detective, and it was getting to be late enough that I started to seriously consider that I might have been hustled when my communicator chimed with a message: a time and a location in the Lawless Zone.
I’d spent some time in that area of Hub City before, so I looked over my self-defense collection. I selected a pair of stunner gauntlets that appeared at a cursory glance to be fashionable gloves and slipped them over my hands. I added my special boots with their hidden pockets to my outfit and headed out into the steaming evening to meet the detectives.
I followed the directions they’d given me to a nondescript door halfway down a dark and foreboding alleyway. A being quite a bit shorter than me but at least twice as muscular leaned against the wall by the door, utterly failing to look casual. His dark blue skin showed where he’d rolled up the sleeves of his tunic, which looked like it hadn’t seen the inside of a laundry since at least three battles ago. A heavy-looking broadaxe was propped up next to him, but his hands were in his pockets, not on the hilt of the weapon.
I’d had a few run-ins with goblins before, so I knew not to underestimate him, but he only nodded at me as I pulled open the door. Either I didn’t look like a threat or he really was just holding up the wall.
I descended a dank stairwell to find myself in a surprisingly cozy underground tavern. Beings of all kinds clustered around small tables, drinking, eating, arguing and playing games of skill, strength and chance. I scanned the room until I saw the tall, lean form of Pplimz. This time their suit was a natty plaid number, in the same silver and dark gray. The ridiculous hat somehow managed to stay perched on their head as Pplimz stood nose to nose with what I suspected was a spirit of some sort.
Their form was more or less humanoid, but that might only have been due to the shape of their containment suit: one head, two legs, and the same number of arms, one of which held a brightly glowing sword. It could have been one of any number of species inside there, except for the warm yellow light leaking out from every edge of the golden glinting articulated suit.
I recognized the armor. Could Pplimz really be menacing a knight of the Sanctum? I glanced down at the knight’s weapon, wondering whether Pplimz was made of stronger stuff than I’d imagined. I’d seen one of those swords slice clean through a solid titanium door once. I very much doubted Pplimz’s body could withstand that. But they calmly stared down the knight, who appeared to be cowering – as much as a being in a six-foot-tall suit of armor could cower. It made for a very odd tableau, but I suppose stranger things had happened in this place, given how little interest the other patrons were taking in the scene.
As I approached, Pplimz caught my eye, then kicked at the knight’s sword, sending it clattering to the floor. The knight made no move to retrieve it, instead looking over to Pplimz’s side. I followed their glance and made out Wibble hovering next to the spirit and pulsing deeply – purple through green. The spirit’s voice came to me low and thunderous, but I detected a note of fear in it.
“What is this supposed to be,” they asked, “some kind of ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine?”
Pplimz took a half step back and somehow seemed to grow even more rigid. “Absolutely not.” They managed to sound appalled and hurt at the same time. “I will have you know that both my partner and I are excellent investigators with dozens of satisfied clients who will attest to that fact. Our references are impeccable, and our results speak for themselves. And to refer to us in the vernacular as ‘cops’, well…” This was said with as much distaste as a mechanized voice could manage. “We are not employees of any official agen–”
The spirit suddenly doubled over, letting out a pained grunt. Wibble had extruded a stiff fist-like section of her body and thoroughly walloped the spirit in the midsection. Their shiny armor had about as much effect as a thin sheet of cheaply fabricated material, and the spirit took their time straightening up. The dent in the middle of their armor was quite impressive.
“I’m the bad cop,” Wibble said, and giggled. She grabbed the spirit by the chin and hovered only inches away from their face. “So, are you going to talk, or do I have to get rough with you?”
“Wibble!” Pplimz turned to face their partner, their screen face somehow managing to convey both outrage and amusement. “Injuring this being is not going to provide us with the information we require. How many times have I told you that this kind of behavior is both unnecessary and unbecoming…?”
The spirit moved then, extending an arm out to their right toward a dim hallway. “Fourth door on the right,” the spirit wheezed. “The keypad pattern is an inverted star.” Wibble let go of her hold on the spirit and they sank down to the floor.
“You were saying something, dear?” Wibble said brightly to Pplimz as she lazily waved her tail and floated off toward the hallway.
The cyborg made a noise that sounded very much like a sigh, then turned to me. “We will need to change our appearances,” they said, then strode off in Wibble’s wake. What could I do, but follow?
Pplimz carried a small suitcase upholstered in a pattern that matched their suit, and set it on the floor next to the fourth door on the right. They inserted a tiny implement extruded from their left hand into a mechanism in the case and, after a brief whir, flipped open the lid.
“You came prepared with disguises?” I asked.
“Only one disguise,” Wibble said. “Humans aren’t exactly welcome where we’ll be going.”
I wondered what technological marvel they had in store for me: a holographic costume generator? Some kind of mind-altering forcefield that would make me appear to
be a Dis cyborg?
Pplimz pulled what looked like a large plain black cloak from the case and held it out to me.
“What’s this? Some kind of invisibility device?”
“No,” Pplimz said.
“It’s just a cloak, really,” Wibble added. “Should be able to hide all your human bits under there.”
I held the thing out in front of me. It was nothing more than a big piece of black fabric with a hood.
“You’re joking.”
“Put it on, please,” Pplimz said, staring at me as if vaguely disappointed, then they removed their suit coat and neatly folded it before carefully placing it in the suitcase along with their hat. I slipped the cloak over my head and had to admit that it did cover me completely. With the hood up, I could be anything hidden inside.
“What about you two?” I asked. “It’s roomy but I don’t think we’ll all fit under here.”
Neither of them answered, but a soft whirring came from Pplimz’s body. Their arms, which up until now had been humanoid enough, began to sprout additional appendages. Sharp, deadly-looking appendages. Soon, both their arms resembled a devil prince’s own multitool, with blades, knives, whirling saws, and laser swords sticking out all which way.
I’d been so focused on the weaponry sprouting from their arms that I hadn’t noticed that Pplimz also grew nearly eighteen inches in height, bulked out horizontally, and now sported a countenance that would make the most hardened Brobnar giant run screaming home to their parent. I found myself scrambling back until I ran into the wall.
It was the teeth, I think. Far too many sharp teeth for one face.
“Better get used to it,” Wibble said, brightly. “You’re going to see a lot more like that when we get where we’re going.”
Tales From the Crucible Page 22
