by Annette Mori
Kathleen absently nodded. “Sometimes, when people date for a long time, they decide they want to live together and get married. Dating leads to a different kind of friendship. Friends who like each other don’t necessarily go on dates, but they still get to spend time with one another. Bri can still be your best friend, and you can spend time with her, without it being a date. Do you understand?”
Siera knitted her brow. “But I want to date Bri. Maybe someday I can live with her. Can two girls get married? I’d want to marry Bri.”
“Two girls can’t get married, but they can live together and love each other the same as your father and I. They can register as domestic partners. That’s the same as marriage, but it isn’t called marriage,” Kathleen explained.
“How come the domestic thing isn’t called marriage? That doesn’t make sense to me. I wish I was smarter, so I could understand that.”
“Oh honey, sometimes the laws don’t make sense. I don’t understand it either. Believe me, you’re a lot smarter than most of the politicians.”
“Maybe after I finish college and get a better job, I can ask Bri if she wants to do that domestic thing.”
“I’m glad you’re focusing on college, because you shouldn’t let your friendship with Bri distract you from school. You know how important that is.”
“I know, Mom.” Siera yawned. “Can I go to bed now? I’m kinda tired.”
“Of course. We can talk more tomorrow. I have a lot of fun activities planned for us.”
Kathleen leaned back on the couch. She wasn’t sure how she felt about their conversation. Siera’s simplistic view made more sense than any argument against gay marriage. She had to really dig deep and explore why she’d expressed concerns about where Siera’s relationship with Bri was heading.
Didn’t she want her daughter to live a normal life as independently as possible? Wasn’t that what she fought so hard for from the very beginning? Maybe she was a closet homophobe. How ironic. On the other hand, Siera had enough prejudices to deal with. Adding one more complication wasn’t something she wanted for her beautiful baby girl.
She sighed. How was she supposed to both protect her daughter and encourage her independence? It was a conundrum she didn’t have all the answers to, yet. If she admitted to Jeremy she might have been wrong, he’d never let her live that down. How would she approach Olivia, now that she’d done such an awful job of broaching the subject?
†
After dropping Bri off, Olivia pulled in front of Deb’s condo and put the truck in park, leaving the engine running. She turned in her seat. This was the awkward part of the evening. She did find Deb attractive, and that was hard to hide, but she was determined not to let her baser instincts overtake her brain. The bottom line was that she was not prepared to begin a relationship with anyone, even a casual one that wouldn’t lead to anything but a bit of fun or a pleasant distraction.
Deb undid her seatbelt, swiveled in her seat, and faced Olivia. “So…listen…I’m sorry Siera caught you off guard. She’s a perceptive little shit. You know how Bri has a special talent with animals? Well, Siera has a way of…oh, I don’t quite know how to describe it. I guess she makes the complicated, simple. Look, I’m not going to deny I’m attracted to you. I would like to date you. It could be casual or not. Your choice.”
“My offer of friendship still stands.”
“Friends with benefits. I can live with that. You’ve got yourself a deal.” Deb leaned in and brushed her lips against Olivia’s.
Startled, Olivia pulled back and almost smacked her head on the window. “Um…that was not a negotiation. It was a statement of fact. Sex isn’t on the table. It adds an unnecessary complication, one I’m not willing to throw into the mix. Besides, from the sounds of it, you are not lacking in female company that could provide the scratch to that particular itch.”
“Okay, I’ll admit I don’t have the best track record right now. I’ve been licking my wounds lately, or more accurately letting someone else lick them.” Deb grinned. “I haven’t met a lot of women worthy of anything more than a bit of fun. I sort of get it, though. After Carrie left, I retreated for a little bit. Phase two of my recovery was casual dating. I thought she was the love of my life. Turns out she wasn’t, but I still wasn’t ready to replace her. Your situation has to be so much more difficult. I caved and got lonely. It happens, but like you said, I haven’t found the magic pill to fill the void.”
“I’m sorry, Deb. I’m not capable, right now, of being the antidote for your pain. I do hope you find it though.” Olivia patted Deb’s hand.
“Well, if I can’t con you into being my lover, how about my trusted vet? Will you come in for a few minutes to make sure Socks is adjusting well to his new home? I’d be ever so grateful.” Deb batted her eyelashes.
“Just for a few minutes and then I have to go. He is a cutie.”
Deb crossed her index finger over her heart. “I promise—cross my heart—I won’t keep you too long, unless you want.”
†
Deb wasn’t about to give up on exploring a possible relationship with Olivia but was smart enough to know timing was everything. Olivia was the first woman, since Carrie, of any substance worth waiting for. It was time to let go of her apprehension about entering into anything serious with anyone. Olivia was proof there were women who could make long-term commitments. It seemed like that long-term promise had extended well beyond her lover’s passing. Deb recognized the obstacle, but also admired the loyalty. She’d felt that depth of love and loyalty for Carrie, but it hadn’t been returned.
Carrie had loved her, but maybe she hadn’t been in love with her. They were good together, yet something was obviously missing, or she wouldn’t have been scared away by the prospect of making a lifetime commitment.
Deb waved Olivia into her cozy condo. The home was perfect for Deb on her own. After Carrie and she split, she’d decided to get something that would be easy to take care of. The condo on the lake was perfect.
Socks greeted the two women at the door. Deb scooped the ball of fur into her arms and was delighted when he started purring. He was exactly what she needed. She’d missed having a cat to snuggle up with at night—especially now that, for the most part, she slept alone. Normally, she would go back to her date’s place, rather than sully the sanctity of her private retreat from the world. On days like this, when a small child had died in her arms, Deb needed to spend time alone to work through her emotions.
The day came flooding back, and she couldn’t help the tears that leaked from her eyes. She tried to turn away and rein in her emotions, but Olivia must have noticed.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, I tend to be blunt when I explain where I’m at with my inability to enter into any kind of relationship.” Olivia lifted Deb’s chin with her finger and swiped away a tear. Her eyes revealed a genuine apology.
Deb shook her head, while Socks crawled further up her body and nestled in her neck. “No, I’m sorry. This has nothing to do with your honest declaration. I respect and accept that, for now. I had a rough day, and for some reason, I flashed back to why I took off early from the hospital.”
“I remember. The little boy, right? You never did talk it through with your sister at lunch today. I’m a very good listener if you want to borrow my ear instead.”
“You don’t want to hear about that. It’s very depressing and not a happy story at all.”
“Actually, I do. I can tell you from experience it helps to talk things through rather than to bottle up your emotions. Sometimes, talking with someone who is somewhat removed is the answer. How about I take that cup of coffee I know you were about to offer? While you’re making it, I can keep Socks company. Is it okay if we have a seat on your couch?”
Deb handed Socks to Olivia. “Okay, if you’re sure. What would you like in your coffee?”
“Black is fine.”
Deb filled the kettle and put ground coffee into the French press, while stealing glances
at Olivia. It was endearing how she kissed Sock’s nose and murmured to him. Deb wished those lips would find their way to her, but she’d prefer them on her own lips versus the nose. She leaned against the counter and continued to watch, as Olivia turned Socks over and tickled his belly. When he started to bite, she removed her hand and said, “No bites.”
“What do you expect, when you start teasing the poor thing?” Deb called out.
“I’m not teasing him. I’m teaching him hands are for petting, not playing with. You need to start his education on this at a very young age. Too many people wave their hand in front of their new kittens and then get mad when the kitten acts like their hand is a new play toy. To a kitten, wiggling fingers are something to attack.”
“Hmm, I guess you’re right. I never thought it of like that. Even when they’re little, those tiny teeth and claws are sharp.”
“Yes, they are.” Olivia smiled.
Deb was enamored with her new friend, who practically lit up the room with her brilliant smile. Olivia was a very beautiful woman. Her long blonde hair fell softly to the top of her shoulders. The ends curled up slightly, with enough body that Deb longed to run her fingers through the slight wave. Deb had a hard time describing Olivia’s eyes. They were the lightest blue she’d ever seen on someone and reminded her of a shimmering river, silver with a splash of blue. Against Olivia’s golden tan, they stood out like two beams of light.
The kettle began to whistle, and she finished making the coffee while Olivia continued to teach Socks her hands were not play toys. Deb carried the two cups of coffee to the table in front of Olivia and took a seat next to her.
“Thanks for coming inside. Honestly, I guess I wanted a few more minutes of company; which is really strange. I normally prefer retreating to my condo alone to work through my complicated emotions,” Deb confessed.
“So, I know you lost a little boy. That is always hard, but I sense there was more to the story and the reason it’s affected you so much today.”
“Wow, beautiful and intuitive. Too bad you’re off the market. Yeah, it was particularly hard on me. Most of the time, when we lose the little ones, they’re surrounded by loving family members—that wasn’t the case this morning.”
“So, what happened?” Olivia asked.
“He was in the car with his mother and father, who are fairly well known in the community. They aren’t the best parents and have serious drug and alcohol issues. The dad was driving under the influence, and the result was a head on collision with a Hummer. His mom didn’t make it, and then they arrested his dad for vehicular homicide. The bastard practically walked away from the wreck, while his wife and son died, and the couple in the Hummer also didn’t make it.” Deb took a deep breath, and her tears started to flow freely. She paused, unable to form a new sentence, as her emotions choked the words away.
Olivia took her hand and held it.
“The doctor told us the results of the tests indicated no brain activity and they were about ready to remove the breathing tube. I thought it was a tragedy this little boy wouldn’t have anyone by his side as he passed. I was his primary nurse, and when I heard his grandmother was in the waiting room, I thought ‘thank God, he has someone.’ I went out to explain to her about her grandson’s condition.” Deb angrily swiped away a tear.
“That’s a good thing, right? That he had someone there for him.”
“I thought so, but boy, was I wrong. When I started explaining to her that her grandson was critical and there wasn’t any brain activity, she held her hand up. She told me she was there to get the keys to the car her no-good son stole, and she’d heard they were locked up in the hospital safe.” Deb took a sip of coffee. “I went to get the keys for her and then naively thought maybe I was using too much hospital vernacular. Maybe I needed to break it down for her, so she would understand her grandson was going to die. When I gave her the keys, she started to leave. I followed her to the elevator and stuck my foot in the door. I started to explain again, and do you know what she said to me?”
Olivia shook her head and squeezed Deb’s hand.
“She told me, ‘what’s done is done.’ Nothing she did would change that. She continued to say she wished the damn car wreck would have taken her son as well, because then she wouldn’t have to deal with his shit anymore. Then she kicked my foot, and the elevator doors closed.”
“I’m so sorry,” Olivia exclaimed.
“I couldn’t let him die alone. I went back to the room and gathered him in my arms, rocking and singing to him, while he went to what I hope is a better place. We all sung to him as he passed. He didn’t die alone.”
Olivia held Deb, who sobbed freely with her head resting on Olivia’s shoulders.
“Sometimes these experiences turn into the defining moments in our lives. Not that you weren’t a fabulous nurse before, but this will help shape how you view everything in the future. You did something great today. Don’t ever forget that.”
Deb felt Olivia’s arms tighten around her and create a protective cocoon, as she expelled all her sadness of the day.
Chapter Thirteen
Bri woke up with a smile on her face, thinking about her date with Siera. She’d wanted to kiss Siera’s lips but had decided that might be too forward. She’d settled on kissing her cheek. Aunt Olivia had told her a kiss on the cheek could be a nice gesture. Lately, kissing was all Bri could think about, and she wondered if that was okay. Aunt Olivia didn’t seem to think it was wrong if Bri wanted to kiss Siera, but for some reason, Bri wasn’t sure. Sometimes, she overheard people talk about Aunt Olivia, and they said a lot of mean things. She didn’t understand, because her aunt was one of the nicest adults she’d ever known.
Bri pushed her fingers through her thick hair, trying to untangle it. Her mom would say it was in a disarray and tell her to shower and brush it out. Siera said it was pretty. Bri wanted to make sure her hair always looked nice, even on the days she wasn’t going to see Siera, because then she was in the habit of taking care of it.
Skipping into the kitchen, she saw her aunt leaning against the counter with a faraway look in her eyes.
“Morning, Aunt Olivia.”
“Morning, Bri. I feel like a bike ride today. What do you say? Will you let your old, out of shape aunt tag along with you when you ride to the park?”
“That would be fun. You should call Deb and invite her too. We could ride to where she lives. Then I could pet Socks.”
Olivia sipped her coffee and peered over the cup. “Um, I’m not sure we should disturb her on her day off. This is her free weekend, and she had kind of a rough day yesterday, before she came to visit us at the clinic.”
Bri scrunched up her face. “I thought when people were sad, you should visit them to cheer them up. Like when I got sick and had to stay in the hospital. I liked having visitors. Even if it was only my family. I bet Siera would have come to see me. Isn’t that what friends are for?”
Olivia smiled. “I suppose you’re right. Deb may act all tough, but I think a day out bike riding in the sunshine may be the right medicine. Although, I don’t know if she has a bike. I guess we’ll find out. Let’s have some breakfast first, then I’ll see about tracking down her number. I suppose I can call Kathleen to get it.”
“You should call early. ’Cause Siera is having a girl’s day with her mom. Can I use some of my money to get a cell phone, Aunt Olivia? Siera has one. I want to be able to call her. Maybe I can learn how to text her too.”
Olivia patted Bri’s back. “That’s a good idea. Besides, I’d like a way to get ahold of you when you’re out and about on your bike. I’ll put you on my cell phone plan and make it a family plan, okay? Then you won’t have any excuse not to call your mom and dad more often.”
“Thanks, Aunt Olivia. You’re the best. I promise to be better about calling mom.”
“Don’t forget your dad. He loves you too.”
“I know.”
†
Siera pulled
her arms from under the covers and stretched them over her head. The blinds kept the light from shining through the windows, but Sampson had decided it was time to wake up. He jumped on top of her and began to knead her chest and lick her. She giggled and scratched his chin where he liked it.
When Delilah meowed, Siera peeked over the side of the bed and saw two green eyes staring back at her.
She patted the bed and called out to her, “Come on up, Delilah. I can pet you both at the same time.”
Delilah jumped on the bed and snuggled on the opposite side of where Sampson had claimed his spot. With both cats soaking up attention from their favorite human, Siera thought about her first date. It brought a smile to her face.
She frowned when she remembered talking with her mom afterward. Her mom hadn’t said anything bad, but Siera still had the feeling something wasn’t quite right. The impression wasn’t as strong as the outright disapproval she sometimes picked up on, but something odd was there. Siera wanted her mom and dad to like Bri, because she was planning on spending a lot of time with her. Maybe someday, they could live together, even if they couldn’t get married.
Things were very confusing to Siera. Shouldn’t love and friendship make everything better? She supposed it might be like in the movies. Before two people could live happily ever after, they had to remove a big obstacle. She grinned at the thought that maybe someday there would be a movie about her and Bri.
Siera heard rustling in the kitchen and assumed it was her mom getting breakfast ready. She knew Toby had left early for his landscaping job, and her dad was still at work doing his long shift. It was going to only be Siera and her mom for their special day. Although she liked those days with her mom, a part of her was going to miss seeing Bri. Siera was anxious for their picnic date on Sunday but didn’t want to hurt her mom’s feelings by telling her that.
