by Abby Ayles
Had she not already been tormented enough at the hands of a man? Now she was to stew over what could have possibly made the earl so cross.
To break the glare he was giving her, Hannah took another drink from her cup. Immediately she sensed Poole at her side filling it up. She tensed against his unnecessary action.
Grimshaw seemed to tense too.
“I believe we have all had quite enough, David,” Grimshaw said curtly. “I would ask you to leave now.”
Mr. Poole looked at his employer with utter shock. He had never been removed from the dining room before.
For the briefest of moments Hannah looked up at him, and he down to her. Where her eyes held fear, his were determined.
It was a small relief for Hannah however to have the man removed even if it was just for the end of one meal. It was hard enough to keep her composure knowing that her attacker was always standing over her, watching her.
Sebastian Grimshaw tightened his grip on his cutlery as he watched the look exchanged between the two interlopers. They didn’t even have the courtesy to hide their affair.
“I expect since tomorrow is Saturday you will be needing to go to the village,” Grimshaw said abruptly to Miss Jacobson. “I will have the carriage ready for our journey promptly at eight o’clock. I have many other things to engage my time tomorrow and cannot waste it all in Concordshire.”
Hannah’s head was spinning by his words.
“I’m sorry, Lord Grimshaw. I don’t understand what you are saying. I wasn’t aware that I was taking the girls to town tomorrow.”
“You are not,” he said curtly.
“Do you not recall that I have asked you to only go to Concordshire in my company? Seeing how you have been here for several months now and have not done so, I can only assume that means you have not gone at all,” he said, accusing her of disobeying his orders.
“That is correct,” Hannah retorted, jutting out her chin.
“Then I expect there are a great many things you are in need of or perhaps letters to be mailed?”
“No,” Hannah said simply.
“Then forgive me, Miss Jacobson, but how can that be possible?”
He was daring her to admit that she was not holding to her employer’s standards.
“Mary has been gracious enough to mail my letters for me, and procure anything I might need.”
He studied her for a minute, measuring the truth of her words.
“And there is nothing that you wish to go into town in person for?” Grimshaw asked as a final test.
Miss Jacobson had been consorting with his footman unknown to him, perhaps she was also interloping with Matthew McCarthy.
The betrayal coursed through his blood as he stared her down.
“Not that I can think of at this moment,” Hannah retorted, seeing his double meaning and choosing not to rise to the occasion of arguing over it in front of the children.
“Well, I hope your arrangement with Mary will last some time, as I will not be able to take you to Concordshire for some time.”
Both girls looked at him inquisitively, wondering where he was going with this train of thought.
“I’m sorry to tell you both,” he said, now pointing his attention to his daughters, “that I got word that I must go to London right away. I will be leaving tomorrow and may not return for some time.”
***
Grimshaw told himself that he really did have pressing business in London that had called him away as he jolted about in the carriage.
That didn’t seem to calm the guilt over leaving his two teary-eyed daughters early that morning.
In reality, he knew why he had run to London and ordered his townhouse made ready. He was hurt. Hurt that he had opened a piece of his heart and let someone in only to be disappointed by her.
He couldn’t bear to look on Miss Jacobson any more than David Poole. Both disgusted him with their secret affair. He wanted to tell himself it was because she so clearly undermined him and disrespected his authority.
In reality, it was because he had cared for her. He had let her into his life, and into his girls’ heart, and all she was doing was setting them all up for great disappointment again.
Grimshaw was pleased to see that when he arrived in London that evening every needful thing was prepared and ready for him. Rarely did he use the London house and had half expected to spend his first night in a rented room until preparations to open the house were finished. Much to his surprise, it was all done in a timely manner and for the most part, the house was opened.
Though his main purpose for leaving Brighton Abby was to remove Miss Jacobson from his sight, and hopefully his mind, he did in fact actually have work to do.
Often, he put such tasks off or hired another to go in his stead, not wanting to leave the girls for a prolonged time. But he knew they would be fine in the care of their governess and nurse.
Though she may have duped him, he took solace in the fact that at least she was a good companion for his daughters. He would just have to resign himself to the fact that she was no different than Miss Watts.
Perhaps all governesses were the same. Could he truly blame her for that? He thought it was probably irrational to feel ire towards her for only trying to find a permanent place in life.
For certainly one could not spend one’s whole life as a governess. He supposed it was the goal of every lady in the profession to use their employer’s connections to find themselves a more stable situation.
Realizing this fact didn’t help the bitter sting he still felt in his heart. He hated himself for running away like a coward.
He should have faced her, accused her, and then removed her from her position. As much as Grimshaw knew that was what his mind told him to do, he couldn’t bring the action to fruition.
Grimshaw wouldn’t take another caregiver from his daughters and worst of all, he didn’t have the courage to send her away.
As he lay in his townhouse bed that night, unable to sleep, he did his best to only think of Miss Jacobson with ire and malice. Instead, the only image that seemed to form in his mind was the night in her room.
She had been so frightened and had leaned on him in her time of need. At that moment he would have given her the world if she had asked it.
He remembered the feel of her golden braid on his fingers and the smell of lavender as he rested his chin on the top of her head.
She had seemed to fit so perfectly in his arms that night as he held her close and let her cry.
His mind went to his late wife, she must be in heaven right now looking down on him, so ashamed of his actions.
Yes, in life she had told him to remarry to find happiness again. She couldn’t have meant it though. Even if she did, how could he?
There had been a small flicker of hope with Miss Jacobson, he admitted to himself. Look where that got him now. He was running away from his own house.
It was a ridiculous notion that he could ever find with another what he had with his dear wife. She could never be replaced in his heart. The sooner he resigned himself to that fact, the better it would be for all his household.
Chapter 14
The following day Sebastian wasn’t surprised to already have received several calling cards. Though he was out most of the day attending to House of Lords’ business, he returned home that night to several invitations and cards left by visitors.
He rarely ever came to town since his wife’s passing and had forgotten how fast news traveled at the height of the Season.
Most of the cards were from old acquaintances and connections. Several he could see were acquaintances of his father who he guessed had daughters of eligible age. These cards he threw away promptly.
No doubt most would see his coming to town a sign that he was ready to take on a new wife. Nothing could be farther from the truth in his mind at that moment.
One card, however, did stick out to him. Though most of the invitational engagements he received he would begrudgingly attend,
this was the only name that brought him joy.
It was Mr. Jayden Marsh, son of Baron Westminster, and younger brother to his late wife. Though Jayden was twenty and six, making him six years his junior, the two had hit it off well.
Sebastian’s marriage to Ann Marsh, eldest daughter of the baron, had been one of connections between families at first.
The baron and his own father had been great friends in their school years. Though it had started that way, Sebastian had come to greatly love and care for kind, delicate Ann.
Though the family connections had meant the two of them had seen each other on occasion growing up, he still hadn’t really gotten to know her until after their marriage. The same was true for her younger brother.
Sebastian had paid the young lad little attention in his own youth. He was much too preoccupied with the ideals of a young pup in his first Seasons with the ton. Even after his marriage to Ann, which he always knew was the plan, he had seen little of his brother-in-law who was away at school.
However, once Jayden was finished with his schooling, he came to visit his sister and brother-in-law often. More than that he was a very doting uncle to first Caroline and then Rebecca as they came in turn.
The age difference didn’t matter much to Sebastian as he found a great friend in Jayden. So it was with this notion that Grimshaw sent a letter to his brother-in-law in the evening post to invite him to join him for breakfast at the local gentlemen’s club.
Though Sebastian still missed his daughters dearly, he was sure that a little time away from Brighton Abby and back in society would do him good.
The following morning, he was pleased to see that Jayden had received his note and was waiting for him at the club for breakfast.
“It’s been a long time,” Jayden said, standing at Sebastian’s entrance and taking his hand heartily.
Sebastian hadn’t thought it was such a long time since he saw Jayden Marsh last, but now that he set eyes on the man, he was sure it was. Jayden had already matured and changed so much since last he saw him.
Already much of his boyish lines had formed into that of a man. Even still Sebastian could see so much of Ann in her younger brother. They both shared the same black as night hair, ghostly white complexion, and hazel eyes that seemed ever-changing with the season.
However, unlike his sister, and the last time Grimshaw saw him, Jayden now had the masculine square chin dusted already with the shadow of stubble. He also had seemed to grow into his full height. Whereas before Sebastian had a good head of height on him, they were now eye to eye.
It took Sebastian a few moments to reconcile the boy he knew from the past with the man who now stood before him.
They sat down to their breakfast and spent a good portion of it simply catching each other up on their lives since last they met.
Jayden was eager to hear of his nieces’ wellbeing and Grimshaw was happy to oblige him with all their tales. It was easy for the earl to be a boasting father as he loved his daughters so much.
“What an unfortunate thing about that first governess,” Jayden said after he was caught up on all of Grimshaw’s happenings over the past year. “But it sounds like you found a better fit in this new one.”
“Yes, that’s what I thought too,” Sebastian retorted. “Unfortunately, she seems to be going the same way. I suppose they are all like that.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said you picked a plain, homely one yourself,” Jayden retorted as he stuck another sausage with his fork and plopped it in his mouth.
Sebastian caught his brother-in-law up on all the events that led him to London.
“How dreadful for the girls,” Jayden said when he was done. “Will you be letting her go then?”
“I couldn’t,” he said instantly. “For the girls’ sake, of course,” he revised quickly.
“I suppose I am just settled to the fact that a governess will always be a revolving door. I will let her stay on as long as possible, to give the girls as much stability as I can. It’s a most frustrating enterprise.”
“I should say so,” Jayden agreed. “I do think there is a better way to keep a womanly figure in my nieces’ lives,” he added.
“Pray tell, if you have a better way.”
“Engage yourself in finding a new wife.”
Sebastian sat back in his chair and scoffed at his brother-in-law’s words.
“How could you of all people say such a thing?”
“Perhaps it is better that it comes from me than someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my sister dearly. I miss her every day, as I know you do too,” he added quickly. “But we both know that those little girls of hers need a woman to look up to. If a governess isn’t fit for the job, we both know a wife is.”
“I am not ready for that. Nor am I sure I ever will be,” Sebastian said with tightened lips.
He didn’t like admitting weakness even to Jayden.
“You are an honorable man to my sister to love her so, but she wouldn’t want to see you suffer like this. Or to see the girls suffer like this for that matter.”
“So what do you suggest, I just remove her from my memory, as the girls do the same, and go and hunt for a replacement?”
“Nothing of the sort,” Jayden said softly, knowing this to be a delicate subject.
“I don’t think it would hurt for you to spend some time in society at least while you are here in London. You have business to attend to, yes, but it wouldn’t hurt to also see what else the ton has to offer.”
“I will not parade myself about to be skewered by a matron looking to fix her daughter. I never had a taste for it in my youth, and certainly do not have a taste for it now.”
“You certainly don’t have to,” Jayden said with a smile on his lips.
“Then what do you propose I do?” Sebastian said with a huff.
“Just go to some engagements. Start out small if you must. A good friend of the family, Lord Waldron, is having an intimate dinner party. I am sure I could secure you an invitation. It would be a good start.”
“I know of the Earl of Waldron, and believe he has already sent me the invitation. I hadn’t planned to attend because I expected the request had something to do with his daughter.”
“I expect it did also,” Jayden agreed, happy to see that his friend had already secured an invitation of his own. “I think she would be a good match for you. I am glad to see Lord Waldron on the same page.”
“Well, I am not sure I am,” Sebastian said with another huff.
“It’s been two years, my friend. You have mourned long enough. If not for yourself, then consider the prospect for the girls.” Spotting a chink in Sebastian’s armor, Jayden continued.
“You know as well as I, the girls need more than just a womanly figure to raise them in a proper education. They will need a sponsor of their own when they reach the appropriate age to see that good matches are made. Even if you were to secure a good governess to stay with them their whole childhood, she could never do that for them. They need a motherly figure.”
Sebastian was hesitating in his resolve. Jayden was right on that point. A nurse or governess might be able to shape and mold them as children but eventually, they would need a woman to guide them into society. That job could not be given to one outside of the ton.
Had he a sister or some woman relative he could pass the job off to that would be easy enough. That was not the case, however, and without a wife to see his daughters off, they would have a lesser advantage to their peers.
He couldn’t bear the fact that he would bring more hardship on them than they already had. No, he would have to secure himself a wife at some point for their sake.
He didn’t like the idea and would have rather put it off as long as he could. But his brother-in-law had made good points. The sooner he found a wife to mother his children, the better off they would be.
He would begin the process this very Season, though he wouldn’t enjoy it. It would matter littl
e to him who the woman was, or how pleasing she looked. His sole purpose would be to find a woman who would love his daughters as her own.
Perhaps this Miss Tara Marlow, daughter of the Earl of Waldron, would do the trick. After all, if his brother-in-law had thought of her first, that did give her some merit.
It would also make the task that much easier. He had no taste for this wife finding, but it had to be done. Therefore he would get it over with as quickly as possible.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to accept a few invitations while I am here,” Sebastian said reluctantly. “As long as it doesn’t slow down what work I need to see to. I have no desire to stay in town and away from the girls any longer than necessary.”
