by Scott, S. L.
“Hi.”
“Can’t sleep?”
“Can’t sleep.” I could blame the hour, but I know it’s not. It’s Dare and the way I feel the same inside but somehow different as if my heart has reorganized its priorities. I take a chance and tell him what I’m really feeling. “I can’t sleep knowing you’ll be gone soon. I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
He grabs his phone from the nightstand. “It’s only four in the morning. Am I being kicked out of bed?”
“Tell me this isn’t a one-night stand.”
The large palm of his hand rests on my hip. “This is the third night I’ve slept here. A one-night stand usually includes one night, max, and then a mutual goodbye.” His thumb rubs my skin, comforting me. “You’re not a late-night call. You’re my girlfriend.”
“I am?”
He sucks in a breath as if he needs the reassurance. While his hand moves up my arm and over my shoulders, he exhales, and I receive the warmest of smiles. “I’m not good at the whole boyfriend thing, but if you want to try this out with me, we can.”
Yes. Yes. Yes. But then I pause to process what he said. “Why aren’t you good at the boyfriend thing?” Memories of catching Lloyd in bed with someone else come to mind.
“I’ve never really done it,” he says. “Like at the restaurant. I hurt someone unknowingly.”
“You said you weren’t dating.”
“No commitments were ever made, but it doesn’t matter that she misconstrued what we were. I hurt her. I don’t want to be a source of pain for you.” Such sincerity is heard in the softer parts of his confession. When his eyes seek mine, he chuckles. “Also, I know when to lock down a good deal.”
I laugh. “Am I a good deal, Dare?”
His expression turns serious, and vulnerability sneaks in. “The best, Pepper. Don’t ever let anyone treat you otherwise.”
My heart squeezes, making me feel special every time he calls me that. Then my logical side barges in to ruin it. “We barely know each other.”
“That’s a lie.” He starts kissing my neck, his hand resting on my chest, and then whispers in my ear, “You feel that, babe?”
My beats are strong, giving me away, so I nod.
He says, “Feel how connected we are beyond the physical. This is bigger than us.”
Pretty words wrapped in an erotic tone lure my body closer, back into his arms. He’s convincing, but I already know what he means. “I feel it. It’s chemical.” Changing us forever. I don’t give a voice to the last words, but I feel it just like he does. “So you’re my boyfriend?”
“If you’ll have me.”
I kiss his chest. “Every chance I get.”
When we make love again, we share more than our bodies. Whispered words of affection and some laughs. We fall into each other, having fun in a new way. Between pillow talk and smiles, I discover how he likes when I’m on top but then likes to finish on top of me.
My body aches but still begs for his, my throat dry as I call out his name. As I lie in his arms after, my swallows become harsh as my emotions get in the way. I made a deal before I realized what was on the line. Not just his heart, but mine.
This is how I’ve been hurt before. I trusted without thinking. But nothing is similar between Lloyd and the man who not only is hogging the bed but also claiming my heart. My mind revels in the thought of Dare being my man. I’m for sure going to call him that too. My man. Tingles spin up my spine, and I smile like a loon in the middle of the night.
“You’re wide-awake, aren’t you?” he asks.
Giggles come bursting out. “I am, my man.”
“My man?” He catches on before I have to explain. “Ah. I get it. My woman.” His chuckle bounces my head off his chest, but he soon calms again.
“I’d love to know the rules of this relationship.”
“We make up our own as we go along.”
Resting my chin on him, I look at his face. Such a great face. “No matter what the hour, if I get lonely I can call you?”
“You can call me when you get lonely.”
“Dare?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m lonely.”
That makes him grin and hold me tighter. “I think you’ve gone drunk with power. What am I going to do with you?”
Cocooned in his arms is the only place I want to be. Just like this. Safe. Cherished. Love—liked. “Stay just like this.” I tuck my head down and curl into him as much as I can. His skin is heated from sleep, his heart beating heavily against his chest. I listen to the fire inside, willing to be burned if I can stay this happy until morning.
He kisses the top of my head. We’re quiet except for our real thoughts that I worry can be heard through the weight of the silence. I never want this to end, but the lie I’ve held inside is starting to eat me alive. “I have a confession.”
“So do I.” His tone is balanced precariously between worry and a harsh truth. Leaning back, he says, “Look at me, Weatherly.”
I do, not just for him but also for me, the fantasy never better than this reality under any circumstance.
He says, “I’m not a fancy guy. Your place is nice. You’re nice. Your world is so fucking nice. If I could give this to you, I would.” His head is shaking as shame saddens his features. “I can’t. I need to be upfront with you. My money goes to bills and the band, and there’s not much left over after that.”
“Then why did you pay for breakfast? I didn’t expect that, and you didn’t have to do it.”
“I wanted to buy you breakfast. I just thought you should know that money’s not frivolous for me.” I notice how his eyes look around. He’s kind enough not to say anything regarding the apartment.
“It’s not to me either.” I sigh. “I know I’m fortunate, but I want to stand on my own feet, which means I have to start looking for a job soon.”
“Will you stay in Austin?”
It’s the first time I hear a hint of worry in his tone. “I have a job secured. It’s always been understood that I’ll work for my father’s firm after I take the bar exam.”
“That’s the exam this week?”
“Part of it. This is the ethics portion of the exam. I finished the cumulative tests the past two weeks.”
“Doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about then.”
Sitting up, I’m careful because he doesn’t need to hear about my problems, but I’ve had revelations recently that keep playing on a loop that I want to share with him. “I’m not sure I want to work there anymore. I’ll give up my dreams if I do.”
“What do you dream of?”
“Being valued.” I almost shock myself by my quick answer. I hadn’t pinpointed it before, but that just came to mind.
The grin that lifts his cheeks reveals a sense of pride he’s feeling. “You should be valued. If they don’t, it’s not the place for you. Don’t compromise your values for a paycheck.”
“That’s what I keep thinking. Why would anyone in that office respect me when the only reason I’m there is because my last name is Beck?”
He sits up. “You are more than your last name, Weatherly. Don’t be afraid to show them who you really are.”
Slipping out of bed, I grab my robe from the closet to put on. “I sound childish, but I’m afraid to tell my dad.”
He’s up and pulling on boxers. Coming over to me, he runs his hands over my arms. “Why would he want anything less than happiness for his daughter?”
“You haven’t met my father. Happiness isn’t a factor when he makes decisions. Money. Repercussions. Connections. Those are his main concerns.”
We walk into the kitchen together. I grab two bottles of water, but he opens them, and says, “What a sad way to live.” His words strike me, and I stare at him. His brow furrows. “What?”
I’ve had so many thoughts about my future and have been burrowing my worries inside, but I’m so glad I shared them with him. “You’re right.”
“So if you agre
e, what’s the issue?”
Wow, I’m beginning to feel emotional. “If I would have told anyone else, they would have told me I’m wrong.” I wrap my arms around his middle, resting my head on his chest. “But you didn’t do that. You told me to pursue happiness.”
His engulfing arms surround me, and he kisses my head. “The money will come because we always excel at things that make us happy. So always choose happiness over money.”
“There’s no better person I could have talked to. You pursue your dreams every day.”
His chuckle vibrates through his chest. “I’m ready for the money part, though.”
“Yeah,” I say with a laugh. “I get that. But will you ever regret what you’re doing?”
“No. Neither will you. Take the risk and you just might find that the bigger risk was not doing anything at all.”
He’s taking on my stress, sharing the burden with me, and allowing me to see the light, the opportunity ahead. I didn’t have to ask. I didn’t beg for him to listen. He’s here, present in the conversation unlike anyone else. It’s never been more clear that Lloyd and I were never meant to be.
Dare’s actions speak as loudly as his words. If not more so. He’s here for me, to protect my dreams, and wants to see me succeed. This is what I’ve never had. Dare is amazing. I smile and kiss his chest. He’s my man.
I say, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being my boyfriend.”
I like when he laughs, and this one is hearty. “You’re enjoying the titles, aren’t you?”
As I feel the stress melt away, at least for the night after sharing my concerns, my voice pitches from giddiness. “I am.”
“So am I.” A giggle slips out, and I shiver with excitement. He’s here, handsome and so awesome.
“You’re not going back to sleep, are you?”
I shake my head with a ridiculous grin on my face. “Not a chance.”
“It’s not even five in the morning, but whatever you want to do, I want to do. So what are you up to?”
“Ice cream?”
“Mm. I could ice cream with you.”
“Did you just make a verb out of a noun?” I ask, leaning against the counter.
“I did.”
“I approve of this.” Why do I bother resisting him? I’m attached again and kissing him. His scruff scrapes my lips for the billionth time, but I don’t care. Every kiss from him is worth it. Dare isn’t just any guy. He’s my guy.
Ten minutes later, while eating a bowl of rainbow sherbet, I sit on one counter while stretching my feet to reach the opposite. It’s a small enough space, even for me to reach.
“Does sherbet even count as ice cream?” he asks, sitting across from me.
“Of course, it does,” I reply righteously and then take another bite.
He sets his empty bowl down. “I don’t know. It’s called sherbet for a reason.”
“You didn’t seem to mind it.”
“I could go for some mint chocolate chip.”
“So what you’re saying is, if I’m sherbet and you’re mint chocolate chip, you’d kick me out of bed?”
Hopping down, he wedges my knees apart, settling between them. After I feed him a bite of my sherbet, he says, “I could never kick you out of bed, babe. You feel too good.”
“Ah,” I say, laughing and throw in an eye roll. “One time and it’s all about the sex now.”
“If I’m remembering correctly, it was actually one time in the shower and twice in bed. That makes three times. My math might be questionable sometimes, but my sex never is. Anyway, tonight is just the beginning.” His chilly ice cream lips kiss mine.
I set my bowl down and rest my arms on his broad shoulders. “If that was the beginning, how does it end?”
Our lips meet in the middle again, and our tongues embrace. Lifting me up by my ass, I wrap my legs around him, and we head back to the bedroom. “Guess we’ll find out.”
18
Weatherly
We slipped into sleep so easily in each other’s arms that I didn’t know I had fallen until it was too late. That rings true for more than sleep.
The light of day makes its way across the room until it’s too bright to pretend it’s still night. I should be tired, but I can’t seem to do more than catnap with Dare here. I don’t want to miss a moment of this. Why dream when I have the real thing?
And even though part of me thinks I shouldn’t think he is the real thing this soon, no one ever sat and ate ice cream with me, or asked me what I dreamed of.
Lloyd never seemed to want me for me. And I don’t think the cheating really had anything to do with me not putting out. That’s certainly one thing that’s been made clear by Dare’s slower approach to us. I could think that I wasn’t enough for Lloyd, but now I don’t think he even considered staying faithful a necessity. Did he ever really want to be with me?
Do I care? Looking at Dare, at his peaceful face, I can confidently say no.
I stroke his hair from his forehead, something that feels as natural as breathing. That should probably scare me, but I find it exhilarating instead.
He stirs, slowly waking and looking over at me. A slow smile makes an appearance while he lies back. Rubbing his eyes, he asks, “Do you ever sleep?”
“Yes, but I have too much to stay awake for these days.”
His hand is big, encasing mine. “For someone with a major test coming up, you seem calmer than you should be.”
“There’s no use in stressing. I have all day today to study. Give me another hour to enjoy this.”
“One hour, babe. I’m not going to be blamed for your downfall.”
“Too late,” I joke. Kind of. “Can I ask you something?”
Settling his hands behind his head, he’s wide-awake now. “Shoot.”
“Do you call all the girls babe? If I go to one of your shows, will they all respond the same?” I’ve wrapped this question in a teasing bow, but I really do want to know. The real question is if he sees right through me.
A side-glance reaches me before I can start backtracking. “Are you looking for reassurance, babe?”
“I just—”
“No. The answer is no. I don’t call other girls that. You may not like to hear this, but most I never call back either.”
“Would it bad of me to admit I like hearing that?”
“Yes, but I like bad girls.” Rolling over, he pins me down.
I’m more than a willing victim and spread my legs to give him full access. “I like being bad with you.”
“Good.” He kisses me while his hands slide up my arms until my wrists are above my head. He looks down at my body with his intentions shining in his eyes. “You ready to go again?”
The words are kind of crude, but I find it so hot that he says what’s on his mind. I hate beating around the bush. Anyway, another round makes my confession ancient history. “I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *
I miss him.
This is so dumb.
How can I possibly miss a man who just left a few hours ago?
Focus, Weatherly. Focus.
Ethics.
Principles.
Exam.
I tap the book and refer to my laptop for the notes I took. I blink a few times before I realize I’m done. I can’t do this.
Pushing my laptop away from me, I close the book and sit back. Months, years have led to tomorrow. If I’ve learned nothing else, the last couple of days with Dare have taught me that I’ve spent more time studying than living.
I’m ready for the next stage, ready for what life has in store, to achieve my goals. I was directed down this path, but it’s one that I’m interested in, so I’m excited about practicing law.
Dare is right. If they don’t value me, then they don’t deserve me. I feel lucky for even knowing such a kind and talented man. But you know what? He’s a lucky guy because I’m also a catch, dammit.
After slippin
g on socks and sneakers, I twist my hair up into a messy bun. I can’t make this an all-day thing, so I stay in yoga pants and a baggie T-shirt. I do swipe on some mascara before I head out, though. Dare likes to stare into my eyes, and I can’t say I mind. I’m sitting in my car like I have no place to go. I do. I just don’t have an address.
He’s my boyfriend, so I should know where he lives. I say, “Call Dare.”
This time, my car gets it right. Thank goodness. “Hi,” he answers, and from his tone alone, I know he’s smiling.
“I’m lonely.”
“On my way.”
“No!”
“No?”
“I like your enthusiasm.” Calmer, I reply, “But I’d like to come over to your place. I want to see where you live and see your room, roll around on your bed, and maybe do more.”
“Maybe?”
Laughing, I add, “I definitely want to do more.”
“Texting the address.”
The message pops up on the screen. “On my way.” Looking at the map before I pull out of the garage, I say, “You only live ten minutes from me.”
“Yeah, seven or eight if you get all greens. Hey, I’ll see you when you get here. I need to do a fast cleanup.”
“Okay. See you soon.” It makes me feel weird that he lives so close, but I never knew. He’s been right here all along. I pull down a street and look around. All those years, I was warned about the east side, and now that I’m cruising to hang out there, I notice there’s nothing to worry about. It’s a quaint neighborhood for the most part.
When I find Dare’s house, I pull to the curb and smile when I see the ranch-style home. The trim could use a fresh coat of paint, and the yard needs mowing, but it’s nice. Nicer than most on the street and more than I expected from how tight he told me his money is.
Coming out on the porch, he leans against the railing. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
He’s showered and in different clothes than when he left my place, so sexy. I walk up the driveway, my insides flipping from the smile I’m given, the one that I evoked. “So this is where the magic happens?”
That handsome grin rounds as his jaw drops and eyes widen. “You really want to talk about hookups with others?”
