"Hold on there, princess." Matt yelled to be heard over her screaming. He grabbed her arm. "It's just a leech. Hang on and I'll remove it."
Sady screamed again. "Amanda, did he say just a leech? What's a leech?"
"It's a bloodsucker," Amanda said with a shudder. "Hurry up, Stubbles, because you have leech searching duty!"
"Hold still, Sassafras," Matt told Sady. He used his fingernail to detach the leech while Sady shrieked. "I just had a bath with bloodsuckers! Why didn't you warn us?"
"Because you wouldn't put a toe in that lake if you knew. Now you need to clean that area, put on antibiotic cream and a bandage."
Amanda interrupted. "Shut up, Meadows, and check us over. If I go home missing a few pints of blood I'm taking it from you! Now start looking!" Matt looked them over and pronounced them leech-free.
"What happened to the hot weather?" Sady asked, trembling from the cold and her leech encounter. "Isn't it still summer?"
"Shorter, cooler days and farther from the equator," Matt explained. "The temps aren't aren’t as warm as they are in Ann Arbor."
"No kidding," Amanda spat. "You're just a fountain of wisdom, Stubbles! We didn't need you to tell us that. Come on, Sady, let's go before they find our frozen leech covered bodies in this tundra." The women hustled to their tent and changed out of their wet bathing suits.
“Hey!” Sady shrieked. “There's a hole in the tent. Matt, those little perverts sliced a peep-hole in the side of our tent!”
“I'll get the tape from CJ to fix it. Now hurry up, will you? What's taking her so long?” Matt asked Amanda, who finished changing and sat in a camp chair with a book and a bag of cookies.
"I told her any cleaning product that says all-in-one should not be used on your hair. But would she listen to me? That's like one-size-fits-all pantyhose. Everyone loses, because they don't fit anyone. You know what I mean?"
Matt shook his head and muttered, "I'm not even going to use my imagination on that one, Amanda."
"Well, you think I don't know about camping, but I know the important things. Like not washing your hair in a lake with the same product you use on your dishes. Now her hair's gonna be a mess because CJ wouldn't let her use conditioner. Why don't you stick your head in the tent and ask Sady how it's coming?" she suggested.
Something hit the soft side of the tent and Sady yelled, "I heard that!" She appeared a few minutes later with her long brown hair still a tangled mess. She glared at Matt. "Don't laugh or I'm going to make you untangle it. I'd do it myself but I've already ripped half of it out by the roots."
"I wouldn't think of laughing," Matt replied with a grin. "The wild look suits you," he teased. "Now are you ladies ready for a hike?"
"Do I look ready for a hike?" Amanda growled. Matt looked at Sady and she snarled.
"Suck it up," he told them. "Orders from the boss, so get on those hiking shoes because we're looking for signs of poaching."
"Are there any options that don't involve a potential heart attack?" Amanda asked.
"Yeah, why don't you go grab another bag of cookies?" Matt suggested.
"How deep is this lake? Because I could get into physical activity that would allow me to sink your body tied to a concrete block. I wonder if the state would give me a reward?" Amanda mused. "No one told me we were doing an endurance race..." she muttered as she entered the tent to get her walking shoes.
"All ready, Sassafras?" Matt asked Sady. She lifted her foot to show him her shoe. "Where's your backpack with water and emergency supplies?"
"Looks to me like you're wearing it," Amanda said as she zipped the tent behind her. "That wasn't on CJ's list." Matt gave her a suspicious look and glanced at Sady, who shrugged.
"What's in that bag you're carrying, Amanda?" he asked.
"I have the necessities- girl things. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, that kind of stuff. Plus cookies. I don't have room for water," she replied.
"Next time you haul your own supplies," he complained as he added extra water to his backpack. Amanda's snort let him know her opinion of next time. Behind his back Sady and Amanda exchanged a high-five.
He passed them each a pair of binoculars. "The strap goes around your neck," he said insultingly.
"Where's those night-vision goggles?" Amanda asked. "I wouldn't mind having a pair of those."
"They're night-vision, Amanda, night being the operative word. CJ isn't going to let you use them to scope men," he responded.
"Too bad, because that was a fine looking DNR officer who strolled through here this morning," Amanda said. "I'd like to scope his tent at night." She gave a deep sigh then asked, "Well, what are you waiting for? Lead the way unless you think Sady and I can do a better job."
Chapter 5
As they walked down the dirt road that led to the hiking path they saw a van pull in, and the occupants looked closely at the available spots. "You'd better tell them they're lost and they don't want this place," Amanda told Matt.
"Some people come to the rustic campgrounds for peace and quiet, Amanda," he retorted. "Although they're doomed if they pick a spot anywhere close to you and Sady. I heard you two cackling half the night."
"I don't know how you could hear anything over the wildlife," Sady said. "And if I go to bed with my hair in this condition, there won't be any peace or quiet in the morning. This whole park will hear my screams of pain."
"I know how to fix your hair," Amanda told her. "And it's none of your business, Stubbles. I'm thirsty- give me my water."
"We haven't been gone five minutes," he exploded.
"Then I hope you brought a lot of water, because if I get dehydrated you're gonna have to carry me back to camp," she replied. With a sigh Matt pulled off the backpack and handed a bottle of water to Amanda while Sady tried not to laugh. Amanda handed the bottle back to Matt, and he put it in the pack, shaking his head with resignation. "Next time get those crocodile drinks so my electrolytes don't burn out," Amanda told him. Matt rubbed his neck and stomped ahead of the women.
Amanda and Sady stopped to use the binoculars. "Do you see anything?" Sady asked.
"No, and I keep checking for the DNR guy. Did you get a look at him? Mmm! That's the way to start the day. If I need rescuing I hope it's him and not Stubbles!"
"That's makes two of us," Matt yelled. "What are you doing?"
Sady scowled. "What does it look like? We're looking for poachers!"
"Did you check the campsites too?" he asked sarcastically. "Because I'm sure they're right out in the open where we can easily spot them... like along this road for instance."
"Listen," Amanda said with her eyes narrowed. "You're the expert here. If the poachers aren't here then why are we bothering to look for them here? You're wasting our time! If I end up hanging upside-down from a tree, you'll be the first person I kill when I get down."
"If you were hanging upside-down from a tree, I'd sell tickets and film the whole thing. Then I'd pass out the piñata stick. I've got a headache and I need a raise," Matt mumbled, along with a few more comments. He pointed to a spot and waited for the women to catch up. "Well, what are you waiting for? Follow the path."
Sady and Amanda looked at each other in confusion. "What path?"
"Just try to keep up and don't get lost," Matt snapped as he headed into a field.
"I'm thirsty," Amanda yelled. He dropped the backpack after removing a bottle of water, then kept walking. "Ooh, he's holding out on us," Amanda said as she and Sady raided the pack. "Granola bars!"
She and Sady took a short break, munching the granola bars. Amanda took the rest and stuffed them into her pockets. "In case tomorrow's breakfast is as dismal as today's," she told Sady. "What happened to Meadows? Is he lost?"
"No, he went that way," Sady replied pointing to the area of flattened weeds where Matt walked. "We just follow them and we'll catch up." A half hour later she revised her statement with, "I hope."
"Well, I'm gonna take a look around with these binoculars, then I'm don
e for the day," Amanda told Sady. After spending a few minutes with the binoculars the women saw nothing out of the ordinary.
"What are we looking for?" Amanda asked Sady.
"Beats me," Sady shrugged. "I guess we're done, and he's on his own." She and Amanda turned back to follow the path of flattened weeds across the field. They were nearly half-way to the road when Sady stopped and put out her arm in warning to Amanda.
"What is it?" Amanda hissed. "A bear?"
"Worse," Sady whispered. "It's a skunk. What do we do?"
"Pretend we aren't here," Amanda advised. "Can we throw something at it?"
"Not advisable. If it gets scared, then we're gonna be in trouble."
"So we just wait here until it moves? I don't think so." Amanda stated. She opened her bag and pulled out her pistol. "I'm legal now," she told Sady right before she fired at the skunk... and missed.
"Must be the site is off," Amanda said as the scared skunk did what scared skunks do. Sady and Amanda screamed, nearly knocking each other over in their haste to get away from the stench. "Call that DNR officer," Amanda yelled. "I need oxygen."
They ran in Matt's direction when he appeared, yelling. "What did you do? Oh, hell no! Amanda, did you shoot that skunk? Don't you know you aren't allowed to have a firearm here?"
"Why would I do a stupid thing like that?" she asked. "Besides, I'm not the criminal here. Did you catch those poachers yet? I think they set off a trap or something and tried to blow up that skunk. Oh no, I'm gonna faint if we don't get out of here."
"Well, if you drop, you'd better hope Sady's strong enough to pull you, because I'm not carrying you!"
Sady turned to glare at Matt. "Thanks a lot! Now what are we supposed to do?"
"If you'd ask me nicely, I'd show you how to get back to the camp without passing our fragrant friend. But if you're going to be... oof!" Amanda threw his backpack and hit him in the stomach.
"You're carrying it because I can hardly breathe. I think I got asthma! Now get us outta here and I'm not asking nicely, dead man!" Amanda meant business and Matt didn't argue. Plus, he didn't want to carry her.
"I think my nostrils are burned," Sady moaned as they made camp.
"Just be glad you were far enough away that you didn't get any directly on you," Matt told her.
"I still smell it," Amanda complained.
"The whole park smells it, Amanda. Look on the bright side. If you need the bathroom now's the time to go, because it can't get any worse than this," he suggested. Sady started giggling because it was true. She thought about how far her life had come since her days in the beauty pageant world.
"How's this funny?" Amanda asked.
"I'm wondering how a former beauty queen ended up like this," Sady replied, waving her arms to indicate the surroundings and her still tangled hair.
"Let me grab a drink, then I'll find it funny too," Amanda said with a reluctant smile. "And as soon as the trouble maker leaves we'll fix your hair." Sady jumped and shooed Matt out of the camp.
"I don't need to ask if you brought conditioner," Amanda told Sady. "Get it." She used a bottle of water to moisten Sady's hair, added conditioner, then combed through the tangles. When she finished, she used two bottles to rinse the conditioner out of her hair. Sady gave her a hug and sighed with relief.
"Are you dumping chemicals on the ground?" Matt asked from the road when he saw Sady's wet hair. "And wasting bottled water when you could have used water from the hand pump?"
"Don't be stupid. We buried the evidence, and it's the hard water that got my hair tangled to begin with," she replied tartly. "If you don't like it, I can call your hairy friend Jenna and have her bring me all natural conditioner. I'm sure she must use lots... considering she has so much hair!" Matt made a face of disgust, remembering the pretty, but unshaven woman from Hope Mountain.
Sady took a closer look at him and teased, "You're going to need conditioner too, if you don't start shaving soon."
He grinned. "One of the benefits of roughing it. No shaving required."
"Right," Amanda scoffed. "You check our armpits in a week and let us know how you feel about it then!"
"You always have to kill it, don't you?" Matt asked with a glare. "By the way where's the rest of my granola bars?"
"Don't look at us. We didn't eat them," Amanda replied.
"Yeah, I bet," he muttered. "It's a good thing I brought extras. I hid them," he said when the women perked up with interest. "But if you're nice, I might share... but not with you, Amanda!"
"Humph. It's a good thing I laid in a stock of my own," she replied with a wink at Sady.
A passing couple called out a greeting. "There's great bird watching at this park," they commented. "But something set off a skunk. Let's hope it moves on soon!"
"Must be they decided to stay," Amanda said shaking her head in wonder. "Just for the birds? There's something wrong with those people!"
"Ooh, let's take a walk around the loop," Sady suggested. "I'd like to see if anyone else is here."
Amanda snorted and asked, "Did you say walk? Yeah, you have a good time with that because I'm gonna be sitting here until Harry serves lunch."
Sady turned to Matt, and he shrugged. "Why not?" She grabbed his arm, and they walked the small looping road to view the campsites. The couple with the van had set up a tent and all the fixings.
"People really do this for fun?" Sady asked in amazement. At another spot a small tent was the only thing on the site.
"They probably spend the day on the lake or hiking," Matt explained. "There's a boat landing not far from here, so if they have a canoe or kayaks they park while they're on the water."
"Well, they can keep the kayaking to themselves. I still remember one of my first jobs, being out on a lake in a kayak. I thought I'd get seasick that night."
"Stick to bird watching," he suggested with a grin.
“As long as the skunks keep their distance. They are kind of cute,” she admitted. “Maybe we should take one home for Argus and Bea,” she snickered.
"That's animal cruelty," Matt declared. Argus and Bea Davis lived in their apartment building with their parents and baby brother Harris. "How about one for Amanda?"
A few sites later Sady stopped to stare in awe. Amanda wasn't kidding about the family circus! Dogs barked and lunged when she and Matt passed by. A couple guys raised beer cans from their lawn chairs next to a sputtering fire pit. A woman yelled at the dogs, the men, and the kids.
“Let's get going before she yells at us too,” Sady whispered as she checked her watch. “It's past lunchtime. Do you think Harry and CJ are okay?”
"Do you really think Harry's going to run back to camp just so he can cook?" Matt asked. "We're on our own for lunch." He laughed at the look on her face. "Don't worry- why do you think we brought Amanda?"
"I'm starting to wonder why you brought me," Sady said. "I don't even know what we're looking for. What's a trap look like?"
"Leave those to Harry and CJ. You two look for remains." At her questioning look he continued, "Animals that have been skinned or killed for the rack." Another blank look. "Uh, look for headless animals or guts covered with flies. If you see carrion birds circling an area, that's a good indicator there's a pile of intestines nearby."
"Well, there goes lunch," Sady said in disgust. He chuckled, and they finished the loop. At their campsite Amanda still sat in the same spot.
"I was worried you got lost, and I'd have to cook for myself," Amanda said. "Where's your truck keys? In case of an emergency... like I might need a cheeseburger or something."
"Oh, no," Matt replied. "If you need to leave the campground, it will be on your own wheels, not mine."
Amanda snorted. "I doubt that thing even has wheels by now and I have reservations about it starting."
"Then it's a good thing you don't have to leave the camp," Matt said firmly. "We're on our own for lunch. Harry said there's plenty of food at their site. Just make sure we clean up and put away the
things we use."
Amanda raised a brow. "If breakfast was any indication of Harry's idea of food, then I think you better call 911 because he's obviously delusional or has PTSD or something."
"Let's go see if he packed any real food," Sady suggested. "Before he gets back!" Amanda jumped to her feet, and the two rushed to the Knight's campsite. They lifted the lids on the food totes.
Sady made a face and tossed a can of beef stew at Matt. "You're the one who knows how to use that camp stove, so you get to heat this." Amanda gave Sady a look of disbelief.
"You're kidding," she said. "That's the best thing in there?"
"I wish I was kidding! Come, take a look if you don't believe me," Sady invited.
"I didn't sign on for no diet and exercise plan," Amanda complained to Matt.
"Then you should have packed your own food," he retorted.
"Maybe I'll just off you and take your truck to civilization," she snapped. After sniffing the air she continued, "Say, that doesn't smell too bad. Hurry up, Stubbles! We're starving. I hope you made enough for yourself or you're gonna have to heat another can."
After they finished Matt told them to clean up. Amanda glared, and he said, "Fine, I'll clean and you go out to look for poachers tonight. Go take your nap."
"If you think I'm taking a hike at night forget it," Amanda sputtered. "Go get your beauty sleep- you need it."
"I'll go with you tonight," Sady volunteered.
Amanda shoved her in the direction of their campsite. "You're already beautiful, so just get some sleep. And don't forget to put your hair in braids or it's gonna be a long week and you're gonna be bald when it's over!" Sady chuckled as she left Amanda to clean the lunch dishes while she took a nap. She braided her hair first though.
She awoke to sounds of a commotion outside her tent. When she came out she saw Matt holding one of the hellions by the scruff of his neck. Sady raised a brow and Matt pointed to the ground. Sady looked closer. “Is that what I think it is?” she asked, horrified at the thought.
“Yep, the little pisser decided to write his name in pee on your campsite,” Matt told her. “It's a good thing Amanda didn't catch you,” he warned the boy.
City Girls Don't Camp Page 4
