Eden swallowed hard. She could sympathize with how Livvy must have felt. It was up to her to make Matthew happy now. He wasn’t a hard man to please. Livvy must have felt so miserably inadequate when she had failed, month after month for so many years, to get with child.
“I’d tell her it didn’t matter, that I didn’t want my own child that much, that we needed to focus on all our blessings, but having a baby was really important to her. That day, right before she died . . .” His voice trailed away. “Well, she was so damned happy. She kept her pregnancy a secret from me, telling only her mother, and she planned the picnic at our special place so it would be a memorable moment when she told me. I have to admit I was just as excited as she was, and we couldn’t wait to get home to tell my parents that they would soon have a grandchild.”
“And then the Sebastians came.” Eden had long been able to picture that horrible moment. “Oh, Matthew. If it had been a girl, what would you have named her?”
“Hattie, after my mother, and Marie, after hers.”
“And if it had been a boy?”
“We weren’t sure. We already had two Matthews in my family, so we were leaning toward naming him after her father.” He shrugged and released a deep breath. “On the headstone, it just says, ‘Olivia Coulter, beloved wife of Matthew Coulter Junior, and Baby Coulter.’ Our folks couldn’t think how else to mark the stone.”
Eden would never regret that Matthew had been free to love her when she met him, but there was also a place within her that would always ache with sadness when she thought of Livvy and Matthew’s child that had died.
“I’ll give you children, Matthew. I come from good breeding stock.”
He slanted her a glance. “I’ll hold you to it. But if it doesn’t happen that way, don’t be silly about it like Livvy was. Okay? If you don’t get pregnant, there are a lot of orphans who need solid, loving homes.”
Eden laughed softly. “There you go! But not all boys, Matthew. I’ll need at least one girl, and whether she’s born to me or plucked out of an orphanage, we’ll name her Olivia. We’ll call her that in memory of the first Livvy.”
They locked gazes for a time, and then Matthew nodded. “I’d like that. And if we ever visit my folks in Oregon, we’ll go to the grave together, have our time with them, and pull away all the weeds.”
“You understand how I feel?”
He nodded. “I do. Talking about it has helped me understand the business about the watch. If you’d lost your husband and still loved your memories of him, I wouldn’t get my tail tied in a knot about it. Just understand this. If I ever get wind that you love a man who’s still drawing breath, I’ll make him a memory right fast.”
Eden laughed. “I love no one but you, Matthew, alive or otherwise. You don’t need to worry.”
“It’s a good thing, because he’d be a dead man.”
Eden smiled and reined the bay in closer to Smoky. “And if you ever so much as look at another woman, I will commit violence.”
He grinned. “Will you now? Finally, you’re talking halfway normal. Seems to me that a woman who truly loves a man ought to feel just a little green at times.”
“Oh, not green, never that.” She pushed at a stray tangle of curls that lay over her cheek. “I’m far too hot-tempered. I’ll just see red. And it won’t be your lady fair that I’ll go after.”
“It won’t?”
“No, I’ll go after you.”
He threw back his head and laughed. “I consider myself warned.”
He took out his watch again and gave it to her. Eden accepted the thick sphere of gold with reverence. When she read the inscription on the back, her eyes stung. She knew that Livvy had once held this watch and then had slipped it into Matthew’s hand with limitless love. As she returned it to him, she smiled.
“Forever. I was right on target, Matthew. Forever is a very long time. It is only right that you always carry that watch.”
He nodded as he tucked the timepiece back into his pocket, then sighed and tossed her another grin. “Now that I’ve met you, forever doesn’t sound quite long enough.”
“Oh, forever will do us,” she assured him. “Even a month will do us, Matthew. It’s not about quantity but quality, and last night was very fine.”
He looked ahead and narrowed his gaze. “I feel pretty confident that I lost those bastards. When I find a secluded spot for lunch, would you consider dallying with me in broad daylight, Miss Paxton?”
Eden felt no sense of shyness with him. He was the other half of her heart. “Is there anyplace out here that isn’t secluded?”
“Does that mean yes?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
They made love along a creek bank, which was glorious, but also ended with Matthew cursing the sand because they hadn’t thought to lie on the blanket. The granules found their way into her private places and clung to his. When the abrasion interfered with their pleasure, Eden caught his face between her hands, smoothed away his fierce scowl, and said, “You’ve always said I’ve got more sand than any woman you’ve ever met. I guess I just proved it.”
He was still laughing when they waded out into the creek buck naked to wash away all of the grit. Seeing his sculpted, muscular body shimmering with droplets of water made Eden want him again, and she waded slowly toward him, her gaze never leaving his.
“What about lunch?” he asked with a knowing twinkle in his eye.
“I don’t care if I eat.”
Eden reached him, looped her arms around his strong neck, and pressed herself against him. He groaned, the sound a low rumble coming up from his broad chest. She smiled with feminine satisfaction as they lost themselves in a deep, mind-numbing kiss.
Late that afternoon, after watching for the tracks of other horses for several hours, Eden heaved a frustrated sigh and called to Matthew, “I know my brothers are out here, so why has it taken them so infernally long to find us?”
“We’ve been covering our tracks,” Matthew hollered back, his voice ringing with confidence. “If Ace Keegan is half the man he’s made out to be in those dime novels, he’ll find us. Just give him time.”
Eden no longer felt frantic to see her brothers, but they would still be a welcome sight. When they finally showed up, she wouldn’t pretend that nothing had happened between her and Matthew. It would be too difficult to hide, anyway. She’d thought long and hard about that all day, and it simply wasn’t her way. She’d tell them straight out that Matthew was the love of her life, and she would not be ashamed of where that had taken her.
That night, after a simple supper and a bath that ended with them making love in the stream, Matthew settled beside her at the fire, pulled out his harmonica, and began playing “Beautiful Dreamer.”
“You haven’t played that for me in ages,” she complained.
He drew the instrument from his mouth and gave her a smoldering look. “I couldn’t. The first time I realized I was starting to fall in love with you was when you sang that song.”
“And?”
“It scared the ever-loving hell out of me.”
Eden giggled and playfully slugged his arm. “Coward.”
He only grinned.
“What about the song made you realize your feelings?” she asked.
His larynx bobbed as he swallowed. “Because you are so damned beautiful. I looked across the fire at you, and I wanted you to awake unto me.”
Tears stung Eden’s eyes. “Oh, Matthew, I’ve awakened unto you now.”
“Thank God. You have no idea what it’s like for a man to lie in bed with a woman, wanting her so bad. I can’t count the times I hightailed it to the creek after you went to sleep.”
Eden frowned. “What on earth did you do at the creek?”
“I stripped off and stood in the ice-cold water. It was the only way I could keep my hands off you.”
Eden hugged his arm and rested her cheek against his shoulder as he played her favorite song. At
the appropriate spot in the lyrics, she tipped her head to gaze at him and softly whispered, “Awake unto me.”
He broke off, tucked the harmonica in his pocket, and gathered her into his arms. The kiss that followed made Eden’s senses spin. The next thing she knew, Matthew was carrying her to bed. As he peeled her clothing away, he whispered huskily, “I’m thinking of a word that describes how I feel when we make love. Eight letters.”
While he nibbled his way up from her toes to the bend of her knee, driving her half-mad with longing, several words swam through her mind, but none of them had the right number of letters. She thought of bliss, perfect, sublime, unforgettable, indescribable, and then Matthew was inside her, and she forgot everything but him. As he hammered home and brought her close to climax, the word finally shot into her brain, making her wonder what had taken her so long to think of it.
Paradise. That was it. If they’d been playing hangman, she would have trounced him. Only she was very glad that they weren’t. If she never played hangman with him again, it would be too soon. She preferred to show him how much she loved him, only she was too breathless to say the words out loud and too lost in passion to care about anything except bringing Matthew with her into a realm of pure ecstasy.
Chapter Fourteen
Over the next three days, as Eden and Matthew rode toward Denver, he kept his promise to make love to her in many different places, and he made each spot memorable. Though they spent most daylight hours in the saddle, they still stopped to rest the horses, and during those breaks he always took her into his arms, and she went willingly. One afternoon, they came upon a gorgeous waterfall, and Matthew drew her behind the foamy curtain of cascading water. The thunderous noise made it impossible to talk. Matthew compensated by mouthing the words, I love you, as he entered her. Another time, he spread their pallet over sun-warmed rocks and took her with craggy mountain peaks and eagles soaring above them. Not even inclement weather deterred him. On an unforgettable morning that would be forever etched in Eden’s memory, he stripped her naked as clouds gathered in the Colorado sky, and then tantalized all her senses in a warm mist of gentle rain.
The wondrous sweetness of their lovemaking filled Eden’s mind, dimming her memories of the Sebastians. She had never been so happy.
They fell into the habit of riding side by side and talking whenever they came to open areas. Matthew told her more about his parents, family, and Oregon. Eden, eager to learn everything she could, soaked up the information like moss did water.
“Will we go there someday for a visit?” she asked one morning.
He took a moment to reply. “How would you feel about living there?”
Eden’s heart caught. She sent him an incredulous look. “Are you serious? I didn’t think you wanted to.”
He smiled slightly. “My memories of home aren’t so sad anymore.”
It was a warm morning, so they’d both removed their jackets. Fearing that his watch might fall from his coat pocket, Matthew had slipped the timepiece into the left breast pocket of his shirt. Eden was pleased that he had decided to carry it.
“For a long time,” he went on, “I thought only about the attack, never about the good times in Oregon. Knowing you . . . Well, you’ve helped me to get beyond that.” He recounted a few stories about Livvy that made Eden laugh. “Anyway, I think I could go back now. The question is, would you be happy there? I know you love your mother and brothers. Crystal Falls is a long way from Colorado.”
“I can return for visits.” Excitement welled within Eden. “And for my mother’s sake, my not living in or around No Name might be a very good thing.” She’d already told Matthew the truth about her father, Connor O’Shannessy. “People look down their noses at bastards, and my resemblance to Caitlin is too striking to be overlooked.”
“That is so small of people. As if it’s your fault your mother was raped.”
“She wasn’t exactly raped. She offered her body to O’Shannessy in exchange for her husband’s life.”
“It’s still rape. She didn’t want to be with the man. He coerced her and then went back on his word. He should have been horsewhipped.”
“I agree. He took heartless advantage of Mama’s love for her husband. But that’s beside the point. Anyone who sees me will immediately know Caitlin and I are closely related. Over time, someone is bound to put two and two together and realize I’m Connor’s bastard daughter. People may snub me and my mother as well. If I only go there for visits, I may be able to prevent that by staying at one of the ranches and not going into town.”
“You’re sure you won’t feel . . . I don’t know . . . cut off from your family?”
“I’m positive. Oregon, here we come!”
Matthew chuckled. “I do have one request.”
“What?”
“When we visit No Name on the train, remember to carry your Colts.”
Eden burst out laughing. When her mirth subsided, she began spinning dreams about their future together. Oregon. She plied Matthew for information—details about the cabin that she would soon call home, what kinds of flowers grew wild on the ranch, if they could keep chickens, and if he would object to her having a dog. She’d always wanted another dog after Sam died, but they’d been so poor that her mother had said no. Later, while living in the city, she had never acted on the desire because she felt that dogs needed lots of open space to run and play.
“I’m not up on the names of all the flowers,” Matthew confessed, “but we have a lot of them growing wild in the spring, summer, and autumn. And of course we can keep chickens. You can also have as many dogs as you like,” he assured her. “There’s lots of space, after all. As for the cabin, we’ll make our home there at first, but eventually I’d like to build a larger house.”
“I don’t need a big house, Matthew. Really, I don’t.”
He winked at her. “You will when we start having babies.”
“We’d better start thinking about the design layout then, because I have a feeling I may get with child rather quickly.”
He grinned. “If you don’t, it won’t be for lack of trying.”
A few minutes later, Matthew got a bad feeling. He couldn’t say precisely why. It was a beautiful, sunny morning. Birdsong filled the air. He was with the woman he loved and had never been happier. Why, then, did he suddenly have the whim-whams? He began scanning the terrain. He saw nothing, but his sense of foreboding remained strong. Better to be safe than sorry. He drew a Colt from its holster.
“Eden,” he said softly, “unfasten your holster flaps.”
She sent him a startled look. As she freed her revolvers, she, too, began scanning the forest. “Did you see something?” she whispered.
“No,” he replied. “I just feel itchy all of a sudden, like someone’s watching us. It’s probably nothing, but I—”
The explosive report of a gun rent the air. Matthew felt the bullet hit him on the left side of his chest, the impact so powerful that it knocked him off his horse. Dimly he heard Eden scream. Then a cacophony of gunfire erupted. For a moment, Matthew was so stunned he just lay in the dirt, unable to move. Memories swirled through his mind of another sunny day when he’d been rendered helpless and had heard the woman he loved calling his name. Not again. He pushed up on his elbows and then to his knees. When he glanced down, he expected to see blood all over his shirt, but the pocket was only torn. The watch. A hysterical urge to laugh came over him. Had the slug struck the timepiece?
“Matthew?”
He glanced up to see Eden standing behind her horse and returning the Sebastians’ fire over the seat of her saddle. She didn’t spare him a glance.
“How bad is it?” she cried.
He retrieved his revolver, which he’d dropped when he fell, and sprang to his feet. “I’m okay.”
“But you were hit!”
Matthew couldn’t take time to explain. “Trust me. I’m fine.”
Scanning the area, he saw a fallen log about twenty feet
away. He grabbed Eden’s arm, spun her around, and yelled, “Run for it! I’ll keep them busy!”
Crouched low to the ground, she sprinted toward the fallen pine. Matthew whirled back and snapped his other gun from its holster. Scanning the forested hillside, he saw nothing. Homing in on the direction from which the shots seemed to be coming, he returned fire, hoping to keep the bastards’ attention.
“I made it!” Eden shouted from behind him. “Hurry, Matthew. I’ll cover you!”
Matthew hated leaving the geldings as open targets. He could only hope the Sebastians would want the horseflesh for themselves. After snatching his rifle from the boot, he slashed at the lead rope with his knife so Smoky could flee with the bay. Then he grabbed Herman’s halter and started to run. The packs on the mule’s back held all his extra ammunition. Before this was over, he and Eden would need every bullet.
It felt to Matthew as if he were trying to slog through waist-deep water. He could feel his feet moving and hear his lungs rasping for breath, but the log didn’t appear to be getting any closer. Twenty feet seemed more like a mile. Running, running. With each footfall, his teeth snapped together and he felt the jolt all through his body. Eden. He had to reach her. If he went down, she’d be left alone.
He glimpsed her red hair as she popped her head above the log to fire her Colts. Stupidly, he wondered what had happened to her hat. Please, God, please, God, don’t let her take a bullet. When he finally reached her, he dived over the log without thought for how he might land. Herman, terrified by all the bullets that kicked up dirt around his legs, sailed over the barrier after him. Rolling swiftly onto his knees, Matthew slashed at the bindings that held the packs on the mule’s back. When the load fell to the ground, he slapped the animal hard on the rump to get him out of there, then dropped to his belly beside Eden. Herman let loose with a frightened bray and trotted off into the woods, heehawing with every step.
Early Dawn Page 30
