by E Hall
I wonder what he means. He leaves off wishes on stars. I hold onto my little girl wishes with the hope that they could still come true.
Both Ivan and I turn to Tyrren. My uncle speaks first. “I never thought I’d say this, but as for you, my newest and favorite vampire, welcome to the Brooklyn Vampire Club. We’re humane vamps, but we don’t mess around.”
The rest of us start talking and I notice Ivan drifts over to Heather with a shy smile I’ve never before seen on the devastatingly handsome vampire.
Ivan brings us back to the city in his black Cadillac. Because there are so many of us, I’m smooshed into the front passenger seat with Tyrren. There’s something about being so close to him that brings me comfort amidst all this craziness. He’s always been there for me and now, as a vampire, he’ll be around for as long as I am. Then again, I’ll do what I have to do, even if it means sacrificing myself to protect the realms. I may not be a peace officer like Kiki or even a police officer—more often than not I’m on the other side of the law—but knowing what Glandias and Count Vlad are attempting to do to us brings out all the fight in me.
The interior of the car is hardly lit and in the darkness, Tyrren reaches for my hand. If I were the same girl as yesterday, full of light and shadow, if I could feel anything, it would be a thrill. It would be a moment that my secret-self had waited for all these years, longed for when we watched movies, danced together, and goofed around.
It’s in that moment, breezing down the highway toward the unknown that I realize my deepest truth. I’m in love with a vampire. Only, Tyrren wasn’t always a vampire. But I love him all the same. As a friend. As more.
The one rule I’ve always had is to forget the past. But I’m going to have to break it. In fact, I have broken it, starting with acknowledging that I’m fae. Unseelie fae at that. I yearned to ignore the attempted abduction when I was little and the attack sophomore year. Now, I’ll have to break another rule. That I love Tyrren.
I was brave enough to break these rules, face Emeric, Glandias, and make the choice to become a shadow fae, letting go of the most precious parts of myself so I could target Glandias. But can I tell Tyrren how I feel? I’ll make the brave choice.
Ivan pulls into an underground garage in Brooklyn. “Oh, by the way, the X-Crew aka Emeric torched the penthouse. New digs.”
Tyrren stiffens beside me. “It was the night I was turned. He was the one who did it.”
“Yeah, like I said,” Ivan replies.
“No, I mean Emeric is the one who turned me,” Tyrren clarifies.
“If I didn’t see him die myself, I’d do the deed,” I grind out.
“That’s my girl. Now, apply that shadowed, unseelie ire at Glandias and—” Ivan goes quiet.
“And Count Vlad. Yeah, I intend to.”
Tyrren gets out of the car and grips my arms. Concern streaks his features. “I tried to go in there the night of the blaze. My vampire instincts stopped me. I’d never have forgiven myself if anything happened to you.”
His eyes drop to mine.
“I know,” I whisper.
“Even now, if anything happens—”
“It won’t, Tyrren. That’s the problem with being shadow fae. I’m indestructible.”
“So you and I are locked into eternity?” He hitches a smile.
Without my realizing it, Tyrren’s arm laces around my shoulders and mine finds its way around his waist. I discover a feeling of belonging amidst the exile of my light.
Ivan spares us a funny grin.
“What are you looking at?” I ask, unable to stop myself.
“What I’ve been looking for.”
“You? The serial dater?” I ask.
“For hundreds of years.” Ivan’s tone is filled with yearning.
“You never told me how old you are,” I say.
“You’ve asked me that almost every day since you were old enough to talk. If you get your light back, I’ll tell you.”
I extend my hand to my uncle. “It’s a deal.”
“Now, I’m going to need the big fella for a bit. We need to go over rules and initiate him.” Ivan’s eyes flash with the excitement I’ve seen at him getting ahold of a particularly powerful vampire. My uncle strides toward the elevator.
I survey Tyrren’s strong build, never really having noticed it before. His biceps and forearms are sculpted, his hands are masculine, and the cut of his jaw is like forged steel. Then my gaze lands directly on his lips.
The shadow pulls at me, at the same time telling me that I’m worthless and to take what I want. I’m not good enough for Tyrren and yet I want him.
He takes my hands.
The gesture quiets the shadow. I find a certain stillness, peace—like stars in a night sky glimmering with light.
His dark eyes tell me he wants what I want. But it’s not for seizing. Rather, it’s for giving.
I lift onto my toes.
The world fades.
Thought dissipates.
This too is a choice that I’ll gladly make.
Our lips brush together.
His hand cups the back of my head and the other presses into my low back.
I breathe in his scent, smoke, warm summer nights, and star-filled skies.
My hands grip his back, feeling the hard planes of his muscles.
The kiss fills me with something other than shadow. It’s light. the brightest day. The best of the past and a promising future.
Tyrren puts all of himself into that kiss and I do the same.
Chapter 26
Tyrren
The flicker turns into a full-on blaze as I realize what’s happening. All these years I dreamed of this moment. Now, here we are, in a parking garage, on the brink of war. A fae and a vampire. But before that, we were Lea and Tyrren. That’s who we’ll always be. Us. Just us.
She threads her hands into my hair and I grip her hips, pulling her close. We’re almost slow dancing and that’s what this kiss is. A back and forth, a give and take, a deep bass and high note. It’s a rhythm all our own and I am here for it. Fully here as the kiss deepens.
I inhale her citrus spice scent. I want this moment to last forever. If we survive this, that’s what we’ll have.
I break away, trailing a kiss along Lea’s jaw, the soft spot behind her ear, and to her neck. I’m consumed by how perfect she is. I want to breathe life back into her grayscale form. Ironic, I’m now a taker of life.
My lips brush hers and we share one more world-colliding kiss.
Ivan clears his throat.
Someone wolf whistles.
A few people clap.
“It’s about time,” Ivan says.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to say things like that,” Lea replies.
“The tension between you two these last few years needed some release. Okay, lover boy, you’re coming with me.” Ivan gestures I join him.
If I had blood left in my body my cheeks would be blazing. We walk away and I glance over my shoulder. I try casting Lea a smolder, but I probably just look deranged.
Her lips quirk and I have a feeling she doesn’t mind.
When we’re out of earshot, Ivan growls, “You hurt her, I’ll make sure eternity is an unimaginable agony for you.”
“I know,” I reply. I’m quiet for a moment and then say, “Actually, about that. The serum Glandias gave me enhanced my hunger significantly.”
“She probably wants to use us as weapons too. I’ve come across a few mages in my time. Don’t trust ‘em. Don’t like ‘em. Glandias has a reputation for being particularly underhanded. In fact, I think she’s the one who helped...well, never mind. What you have to know about vampires is we’re single-minded. We want pleasure. Glandias, on the other hand, wants power.”
“Where do fae fit into that?” I’m incredibly curious about Lea’s mission.
“They’re more of a both/and situation,” Ivan answers, leading me to an elevator. “As for Lea, well, there’s a lot of goodness
in her. I can’t believe she willingly let Glandias rend her shadow.” He punches a button. “No, scratch that. I definitely believe she did it. Unseelie fae tend more toward the shadow. Seelie fae lead with light. But both can slip to one extreme in either direction. It just comes down to choice. What she did, in her own backward way, actually demonstrates that she’s willing to sacrifice herself, live in shadow to deceive and overthrow Glandias to save all of fae-kind. It’s admirable, actually.”
“She’s one of a kind.”
“She sure is, which is why you’re going to learn to control your vampire urges.”
We pass the penthouse. The elevator takes us all the way up to the roof.
It’s midday and overcast. The wind whips fiercely across the top of the building. Below, cars move slowly through traffic.
Ivan points to the northwest. “Our old penthouse was over there. Good memories. Too bad Emeric had to burn the thing to the ground. Thank goodness no one was hurt.” Ivan crosses his arms in front of his chest.
On one side of the roof, there’s a covered pool, hot tub, and lounge area. I imagine Ivan will entertain up here in the summer. There’s a ledge around the roof and he guides us to it. We gaze at the horizon for a few long moments.
“So, tell me what the thirst is like for you,” he asks.
“Burning, like glass in my throat, but it goes deeper than regular thirst. It’s like my body is hijacked. I can think of nothing other than obtaining blood to the point where it clouds my mind. At my worst moments, I’d do anything to feed.”
“Even bite someone?”
“Even bite someone,” I repeat. “I did once. The first night after I was turned. There was a guy down by the docks. He’d been in a fight. He would probably have died anyway. At least that’s how I rationalized it. I haven’t since. Don’t want to.”
“Good. It’s important to learn to front-load. By that I mean, get ahead of the thirst. Don’t ever let yourself get desperate. That’s one reason I created the Brooklyn Vampire Club and the dispensaries.”
He claps me on the back, moving us closer to the edge of the roof.
“Okay, hop on up.”
“Huh?” I ask.
“Climb up. Go ahead, right onto the ledge.”
“Uh, why?” I know exactly why. He wants me to jump. This is the initiation he mentioned. With horror, I think of how many people he’d brought up to the roof over the years when he and Lea lived in the other penthouse. I’m surprised we didn’t see bodies flying by in the big windows. I carry my thoughts to her, wondering what she’s doing right now. Hopefully, bonding with her sisters.
“You know that vampires are immortal, right?” he asks.
“Yeah. At least that’s what I’ve been told.”
“Trust me, we are.” A sad smile flits across his features.
I step onto the ledge and brace myself against the wind. I almost feel like I’m standing on top of the city. I’m above it all, immortal like Ivan said. I spread my arms like wings and whoop into the air.
“Okay, jump,” Ivan says.
I make the mistake of glancing down. The ground is very far below. Fifty floors at least. The world spins for a minute and I straighten.
“Go ahead. Jump, Tyrren. You’re immortal. You can do anything.” A sly edge enters his voice. I’d never want to be on his bad side.
I waver, overthinking things as usual.
“Jump, Tyrren. Do it. Just this once. Go on.” He whispers in my ear. “Do it for Lea.”
I think about my feelings for her. They’re stronger than my thirst and vampire nature. They came from before when I was just Tyrren—book nerd, blacksmith’s apprentice, and best friend. But it’s more than that. I’ve loved her since the second to last day of our eighth-grade year.
We were passing between periods and on our way to Algebra—both of us were in accelerated classes. She’d suggested we ditch and go get ice cream sandwiches. A kid was getting picked on in the hallway. She set the bully straight and then stuck by the kid who was being picked on for the rest of the day—forgoing the ice cream. Not just for protection and not out of pity. It turned out there was a movie that they both loved and couldn’t stop talking about it.
A lot of people have a hero. But she was my heroine then just as she is now. I’m more in love than ever. Lea always does the right thing—well, except when it comes to borrowing cars. That’s another story.
I think of the people below, the passersby on the sidewalk, and how horrifying it would be for them to see a man land and then potentially get up and walk away.
Ivan hisses in my ear. “Tyrren, I told you to jump. Now.”
I step off the ledge and back onto the roof. I meet Ivan’s dark eyes. “No. I won’t do it.”
The corners of his lips lift. I prepare myself for shouting, fighting. For him to tell me I failed the initiation. That I’ll never be part of the Brooklyn Vampire Club.
“Good job, son.” He claps me on the back and leads me to the door.
I stop midstride. “What?”
“You passed the test.”
“How?”
The initiation is to demonstrate what it might be like to be ruled by your thirst for blood. You’d do anything to obtain it. You’d listen to the voices telling you to go ahead, do it. But you didn’t. You listened to another voice. Reason. Maybe you tapped into something even deeper.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Good. Don’t forget it. Now, we’re going to go have a drink, celebrate your success, and I’ll connect you with dispensaries in the area.”
“What if we go to the Southlands?” I ask.
“You always have the option to feed off animals. Some vampires do that. But I prefer willing donations. There is also an alternative. I’m no scientist or mage, but I’ve been working on concentrated blood pellets.” Ivan holds up a pill. “Human blood is comprised of approximately ninety-two percent water. You dissolve one of these pellets in water and you’re good. Great for traveling. The TSA has never been too keen on me toting bags of blood on flights.”
I raise my eyebrows.
Ivan laughs.
We spend the next hour chatting and drinking—blood. Then reunite with the others in the penthouse. They’re sitting around the kitchen island with about ten different packages of Oreo cookies.
“Okay, okay, fine Double Stuf is the best,” Val says.
“There’s also Mega Stuf,” Kiki says, wagging a cookie in front of her face.
Val claps her stomach. “I’m stuffed.”
“I like the mint,” Soren says.
“I think I’m a peanut butter guy, although the lemon is good too.” Callen helps himself to another.
“That’s so like you to have to be extravagant about it,” Val says.
“Hey, that’s what you like about me,” he replies.
She pecks him on the lips. “You got that right.”
I go directly to Lea’s side, relieved I passed the test and that she’s okay. Gray but okay.
“Ordinarily, she loves Oreos,” I explain the uneaten stack of regular Oreos sitting in front of her along with a full glass of milk. “Must be the shadow.”
Her sisters go to her side and pull her in for a group hug.
“What about these Golden Oreos?” Callen asks.
She shakes her head slowly.
“More for me. There’s a whole world of sickly sweet food options here in Terra.”
“We should probably get going,” Kiki says.
I’d be happy to chill a little longer...kiss Lea again...but this curse isn’t going to break itself.
Once we’re on the street, we walk a few blocks and stop in front of a shop. Our reflection in the glass is a motley crew of outsiders—a few fae, a couple of shifters, and a vampire. Last year, if someone suggested this would be my life, I’d have laughed in their face.
Yet, with Lea beside me, even as quiet and sullen as she currently is, it feels right. I nuzzle my face into her hair and breathe deep. Te
chnically, I don’t breathe. I do whatever vampires do to catch a scent. I should’ve asked Ivan about these finer points.
“Where are we headed again?” Val asks.
“We have to go meet Heather. She has about two dozen Elsies for us to call, text, write, ambush, whatever it takes to find our other sister,” Kiki says.
“Let’s get tattoos,” Soren says as we pass a tattoo parlor.
“What?” Val asks.
Her sister explains what a tattoo is.
Soren opens the door.
“Do we really have time for this?” Kiki asks.
“If you get Oreos, I get a tattoo,” he replies.
“You do know that tattoos are permanent, right?” Kiki says.
Soren leans down and kisses her on the forehead. “So is my love for you and those sickly sweet cookies.”
Kiki smiles. “But you already were covered in ink once before.”
Through the haze of my arrival at the Victorian safe house, I recall them talking about the false king’s curse.
“But this would be my choice.” Soren glances at Lea. “I’m going to get the word free in case I forget. It’s the truth and the truth cannot be wiped away.”
Kiki smiles. “I understand.” She turns to her sisters. “What if we get Court of Crown and Compass tattooed somewhere? We could have the artist draw us a symbol.”
“We’re missing our fourth sister. We should wait until she’s with us to induct all of us into the court together,” Val says. “If she lives in Borea, she’s never had Oreos. We’ll have to come back.”
“Or a slice of New York pizza. We’ll have to take a tour of the best things in the city. You know, when this is all over and life returns to normal,” Kiki says.
“What’s normal?” Callen asks.
In turn, they each describe their version.
Callen describes a cottage by the sea. Soren, Raven’s Landing flourishing. Kiki likes that idea. Val talks about all the people having enough: food, laughter, work. My gaze lands on the shadowy girl in front of me. I recall our conversation at RIP Jr and how we’re so different.
The others follow Soren inside.
