by Taryn Belle
“Laina, I...” He raked a hand through his hair, wondering what to say. He needed time to think, that was all, get his head wrapped around the possibility of leaving behind something he never dreamed he wouldn’t want. Of devoting himself completely to her—because if he was going to do this, that was how it would have to be. She was too special to think about any other way.
Laina’s deep eyes finally met his. “I know,” she said softly. “And I don’t want you to feel bad about it. I mean, we never expected this, right?”
James’s chin dropped. She knew exactly what was going through his head, and that only made him feel worse. She cupped his jaw with a hand. “I want you to know that I had the time of my life with you, and I don’t have a single hard feeling. You taught me things...” She shook her head. “The most amazing things ever. I’ll never forget you,” she concluded.
James’s chest tightened painfully. The thought of never touching her again, of her taking what she’d learned from him to use with another man—it was beyond torturous. “Laina, this is just—I’m so sorry.” He shook his head. “This is all new to me, and I can’t... I mean I would never want to play with your heart. You deserve so much—everything—”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t. Your honesty with yourself is just as important as your honesty with me.” Moving closer to him, she took her finger away and replaced it with her lips for a soft, but much too brief, kiss. Then she turned away.
The tightness in James’s chest expanded to his belly. Jesus Christ, was he going to cry? Even as his feet stayed rooted to the spot, his mind lunged after her. But he didn’t dare act. Not yet, anyway—not until he was absolutely sure.
But then he remembered something. “Laina.”
She turned back to him with a question on her face.
“What about your ex? Do you want to keep it up? I could be a total gentleman.”
Laina gave him an ironic smile. “You know, it’s funny—I’d completely forgotten about him until you brought him up. It’s hard to believe he could have been so important to me once. But I always wondered, you know?”
“Wondered what?”
“Why I never dreamed about him. Isn’t that weird? That I dreamed about you last night, but I never once dreamed about the person I was supposed to marry?”
James stared at her as the memory took shape in his head: the dream he’d had about her on the night he’d arrived here. Laina give him one last sad smile and walked across the lobby back to her friends.
CHAPTER TEN
I DEFINITELY DID the right thing. Definitely.
Laina repeated this in her head over and over again as she lay in bed staring at her iPad screen. It had been six hours since she’d walked away from James in the lobby of The Palms, and she’d been able to think of nothing else. Memories of their bodies moving together, of the glimpses she’d gotten into the man she’d come to care about so quickly tortured her. In her mind she’d had distractions planned for this evening—a swim in the ocean, a try-on of the bridesmaid dress Kiki had handed over to her today, dinner at Pablo’s with some of the other wedding guests—but she wasn’t able to do anything except sit here with her heart heavy in her chest. She’d spent the past hour searching Ellison Enterprises on her iPad in the perverse hope that her decision today would be backed up by what she found. And it had been.
Like most developers, James prioritized progress over sustainability. The few news stories she’d found about his company were seemingly insignificant and in line with issues almost every developer faced—small areas of vegetation bulldozed, old-growth trees felled to clear a lot, a sewage line that had accidentally leaked into the ocean, a condo development built on a floodplain that had displaced grassland birds. Each of the stories came with a mollifying statement from the company: the stray cats displaced from the vegetation had found homes; the trees, removed in the name of safety, would be replanted; the sewage line had been capped immediately upon discovery; the grassland birds were plentiful and nonendangered.
It was exactly the type of thinking Laina hated: that repairing and replacing was just as good as leaving well enough alone. She’d also perused photos and public reports on James’s developments, mostly luxury hotels, spas and condominiums. And while she couldn’t help admiring their designs—many of them took cues from nature for a green-looking effect—it was obvious to her that they made almost no effort to reduce their carbon footprints. Again, this wasn’t a big surprise, but Laina knew that everyone had the power to make a difference, and that someone in an industry like James’s had an even greater opportunity to do so. Over her years of designing LEED homes, she took reassurance that she’d helped reduce energy and water usage as well as greenhouse gas effects, and saved her clients countless long-term dollars. It could be done, but not without a dedicated desire to do the right thing—which James clearly didn’t have. No matter what power he held over her body, no matter how much she enjoyed his company out of bed, he was just like all the others. Her decision to walk away was in line with both her good sense and her moral compass. So why didn’t she feel any better?
Because the decision wasn’t in line with her heart.
A thick feeling clawed at Laina’s throat. She swallowed hard, determined not to give in to the tears that had been threatening all day. To find someone like James again, someone who could shake her world like an earthquake—it was rare, maybe even once in a lifetime. And as ridiculous as it might seem to become attached to someone after only three days, Liana knew that what they’d had was magical.
She stood up, opened the door to her cottage and stepped outside. She had her bikini bottoms on under her shorts; maybe a swim would help to clear her head. But as she rounded the corner to the pool area, her breath caught in her throat. She’d been so distracted by everything that was happening with James that she’d barely paid attention to the ongoing wedding preparations. Now, with the wedding only a day and a half away, the grounds looked absolutely stunning. In the dusk, two staff members were still working to string the last of the lights around the pool. Then one of them threw a switch and the entire area lit up.
The decor was luxurious elegance with a nod to rock and roll. Beyond the expansive pool deck, Laina could see the lawn dotted with rectangular white tables surrounded by silver chairs. A pergola that was draped in greenery and hung with a variety of crystal chandeliers had been built over each table. Tall candleholders topped with pink peony posies acted as centerpieces. Beyond the dining area was a large stage for the band backdropped with black velvet, flanked on each side by a white tent draped in pink tulle and white fairy lights. The massive poolside archway had been covered in pink and white flowers, untamed strands of greenery and crystal teardrops. Each silver chair set before the archway was wrapped with a black tulle sash. And the entire pool had been floated with clear balls filled with flower petals and fairy lights.
It was beautiful to behold, but it also shook something loose in Laina. She did want the happily-ever-after. Just because she’d chosen poorly once didn’t necessarily mean she would again. She wanted this for herself someday, and James Ellison obviously didn’t. She would not be one of those women who hung on to a noncommittal man with hope and a prayer, managing to fool herself into believing he’d change his mind one day while she watched the years tick by.
Her phone dinged with an incoming text, causing her heart to skip a beat. Damn it—she hated herself for wanting it to be him. She reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out her phone. Mom: Is the place still standing? How are you? Send me photos of the wedding and tell Kiki we wish we could be there. And call me.
Laina sighed. Small talk. Surface questions. Why did her parents have to be so distant from everything that mattered to her? Not that she expected deep conversions via texting, but was it too much to ask for at some point in her life? What she wished for more than anything was something real from her parents—for them
to show an interest in what she did, for example. But she knew that was a pointless dream, because Laina’s career choice had actually coincided with the moment she knew she had to separate herself from her family.
She’d just arrived on Moretta for a summer vacation after her second year of university, and she wanted to show her father a set of blueprints she’d created for the final project of her design course. She was excited about the project, which she’d scored an exceptionally high mark on, and was planning to announce to him that she was pursuing a career as a LEED certified architect. Laina found her father in his office, but she’d barely unrolled the blueprints on his desk when he dismissed her for an incoming call from his investment manager. She left with her papers gripped to her chest, trying to fight back tears, and that was when she knew: she may have a family in theory, but she was on her own. That was the moment she decided to stop staying at the family estate.
No—a conversation with her mother was not what Laina needed at the end of a day like this. Without responding to the text, she tucked her phone back into her pocket.
* * *
“...she bent over right in front of me! I looked down and saw that her shoelace wasn’t even untied, and that’s when I knew I was taking her to the Caribbean with me.”
Across the table, James watched as Ward snaked his arm around his date’s neck and dropped his hand to her breast. She gave him a drunken smile. “Best second date ever!” she said, slurring her words, then reached for her cocktail.
James turned his head away, searching for the waiter. Pablo’s was packed, as it was nearly every night of the week, and as he scanned the room, he picked out several celebrities seated nearby. Wondering how they’d react to his planned resort, he suddenly felt a flicker of guilt. Celebrities were people with problems just like everyone else in the world, but they had the added challenge of often living them out in the public eye. Moretta was one of the few places they could get away from all of that, and in a sense James would be taking that away from them with an influx of more tourists. But still, it didn’t seem fair that any place in the world should be available only to the superwealthy—so what was the right thing to do?
More important, James thought, who fucking cares?
James was in a foul mood to end all foul moods. Ever since Laina had walked away from him, his body had been assaulted with a crawling sensation that made him want to rip right out of his skin. All that filled his head was her—the soft feel of her hair, her deep eyes on his, her sweet moans of desire for him in his ear. Coming out for dinner tonight to try to distract himself had been a mistake, and as luck would have it, he’d landed right across the table from the most obnoxious prick in the room.
“The thing I love most about Roxy is she knows better than to ask me, ‘What does this mean?’” Ward went on in a simpering imitation of what James guessed was, to Ward, a typical female. “She just goes with it. Don’t you, baby?” He yanked her toward him and kissed her with his tongue in full view.
Suppressing a shudder, James looked down the table at Kiki and Dev. The contrast between the two couples was glaring. While Kiki was engaged in an animated conversation with a guest, Dev was watching her face as if there were no one else in the room. James knew exactly what Dev had been like before he met Kiki—womanizing and noncommittal, but he was like another man now. A happier man. A better man.
Giving up on the waiter, James took out his wallet and laid two fifties near his plate. Ward was yammering on about his date’s wealthy family now. To think that this douchebag had once had Laina in his bed—had lived with her, even, and hadn’t even known the treasure he had—made him sick.
But was James really so different?
The thought was gross enough to propel him out of his seat and through the door into the evening air. Palm trees loomed against a yellow sky, and when he turned toward the ocean, he could see another fiery sunset painted over the water. A small group of wedding guests was gathered outside, talking and laughing, but James walked swiftly past them toward the beach. He felt like royal shit. He’d let Laina go, let her walk right out of his life, and why? Because he’d been afraid. Because with his casual hookups and zero expectations policy, he wasn’t all that different from her ex. And now he’d messed up with the best woman he’d ever had.
His phone dinged in his back pocket and his pulse quickened; could it be her?
Jennifer Liu: I was expecting a report by now. Anything you’re not telling me?
James puffed his cheeks out, releasing a long sigh. Until this very moment, he’d forgotten that he’d meant to talk to Laina about the project today. But right now that seemed like about the least important thing he could think of.
Ignoring Jennifer’s text, he pulled up Laina’s number and typed her a message. I messed up. I need to see you.
He pressed the phone to his chin, daring himself to hit the send button. If she took him back, what then? Did it mean their affair would extend beyond this week and this island? If so, he had better be good and sure this was what he wanted—because if it wasn’t, he’d end up hurting her. And he’d rather dig his own heart out with a dull stick than do that.
Don’t be hasty. Give yourself some time to think.
Shoving his phone into his pocket, James strode back to his empty hotel room and his infuriating self-reflections.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“LAINA.”
“James. Wow. Hi.”
As they stared at each other across the sand, Laina tried to dislodge the hot bud of desire that bloomed in her clit. God, but she couldn’t wait for this week to be over, because seeing him without being able to touch him was pure agony. She’d come to the beach this morning specifically to avoid him, but she hadn’t even gotten as far as the water when she’d heard him call her name. And now she was staring down at him, sitting on a lounge chair with his iPad in his hands and his red-hot body on full torturous display. She tried to keep her eyes from roving over his muscular arms, the abs that had clenched with each thrust into her, that ruinous bulge in his swimming trunks—
Stop it already. It’s over.
James got to his feet. “I was hoping to run into you,” he said.
“Were you? It’s kind of early for the beach, but I like to get here before it’s too hot,” Laina babbled over the pounding of her heart. “I was actually going to go for a swim in my pool, but it’s full of flowers.” She clamped her mouth shut. God, she really wasn’t any good at this. Not only was she completely undone by the sight of this man, she’d also just revealed that she was attached to the wedding location. Not that it mattered now—they were over, and whether he knew her family was worth a fortune or not really made no difference.
But James didn’t seem to have caught her slipup. “I missed you at dinner last night. And at breakfast this morning.”
Laina licked her lips. Her mouth was cotton dry. “I guess I wasn’t hungry.”
“Neither was I.”
“No?” She cringed; couldn’t she think of anything intelligent to say? She crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly aware of her near-nakedness. Did he still want her? And so what if he did? It wasn’t like she could act on it anymore, even if she could feel that aching buzz in her body again just from standing near him. “So what did you want?”
“Want?”
“You said you were hoping to run into me,” she reminded him, shifting her weight. God, she was a mess—she wanted to run away from him, she wanted to clamp his hand to her pussy and beg him to lock her up in his room. No commitment after that, just three more days of hot, blissful sex.
Which would ruin her even worse than she already was.
“Oh, yeah.” He took a step closer to her. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“So did I.”
“Really?” His face lit up a bit. “Okay, you first.”
She drew herself up. “Do you ever lo
se sleep over your developments?”
He blinked at her. “My developments?”
“Yeah. I took a look at them, and I wasn’t impressed.”
“You weren’t?” He tilted his head at her. “But I get my designers to take their cues from nature. I’d think that would appeal to you. A lot of the buildings practically blend in with their—”
“Yes, I noticed that. Rather ironic, because you do almost nothing to minimize your environmental impact. I couldn’t leave the island without asking you to at least consider that. I’d be happy to give you the name of some green building consultants in Miami,” she concluded in a steady voice. Despite her strong beliefs, voicing her convictions wasn’t something that came naturally to her.
James still looked taken aback. “I—okay.”
“Okay you’ll consider it, or okay you’ll call them?”
“Okay I’ll call them.” He shook his head. “Laina, look. It’s not like I haven’t been trying. My investors like to keep their costs down, and if I don’t make them happy, I don’t get the contract.”
She laughed dryly. “Of course they do. But short-term savings don’t always translate into long-term ones. You can actually save a lot of money in the long run by building green. And plus,” she pointed out, “you’re the boss. You say it’s going to be done a certain way, and they can take it or leave it. I know your company’s net worth. Even if you never did another development in your lifetime, you’d be fine.”
“Believe it or not, it’s not about the money for me.”
She cocked her head at him. “Bullshit.”
He grinned. “Okay, maybe it is a little. But building is my life. Ever since—” He stopped himself.
Laina waited, refusing to press him. After coming this far, she wasn’t going to buy into whatever excuse he might offer—even if it was a tragic one, which she sensed coming.
“Since my mother died,” he said with a sigh. “When I was little, all I wanted to do was play with my Legos. My mother used to bring bags of it home from garage sales, and I had this entire city sprawled over my bedroom floor. I remember she read me this book about a castle in the sky—she loved that book. I used to tell her that I was going to build her a real one someday. And then she died, and... I guess I’m still here, trying to build it.”
