“It worked out for me,” Erica said. “I know where you’re coming from. I was worried that everything would go wrong once Brendan and I started dating. But I couldn’t have been more mistaken.”
“I’m glad things worked out with you, but our circumstances aren’t the same. Everything has happened so fast. The way we feel about each other has changed overnight. Ben could just be caught up in the whole magic of the trip and the Caribbean.”
“I doubt what’s happening between the two of you can be owed to the cruise. Maybe it’s helped make it easier to show your feelings for each other, but I’m not buying that this is all happening overnight.”
“Even so, I’m not sure that it matters. Ben needs better than me.”
“Okay, little bro. I’m going to be a little harsh here.” She reached out and touched his hand.
“I can take a dose of harsh right now.”
“Perhaps you need to take a back seat. Let him decide.”
“I really want him to, but I’m afraid of losing him,” Oliver said.
“The fact that you’re willing to sacrifice the possibility of a perfect relationship for your friendship is sweet. But you have to take a chance and see what happens.”
“Even if things don’t work out?” Oliver asked. “I don’t want to lose my best friend.”
“You won’t lose him. He loves you.” Erica’s face softened, and her voice turned soothing.
Oliver knew that his sister was right. He needed to see how things played out between them. He knew that whatever happened in the future if things didn’t work out, he would always be there for Ben.
If their friendship ended? It would be on Ben.
24
Ben
“Okay, we’re going to pick up the pace, Chris!”
Ben lifted his knees higher as he jogged on the spot. He knew this would activate Chris’ competitive side, pushing him further.
Ben made the last five minutes of his Advanced Cardio class as intense as possible. When everyone was exhausted, when they felt that they couldn’t give any more and wished for the warm down stretch to come sooner, Ben made them dig deeper and push harder.
He wondered if some of his students thought that he had a sick sense of humor and that he just liked torturing them for his own twisted amusement. This couldn’t have been further from the truth. Ben knew that once he pushed his students past the limits they put on themselves, they would know it was possible to go further.
The euphoric sensation an intense cardio workout brought on always made him feel boundless and light. Even when it seemed that the weight of the world rested on his shoulders, a good workout made him feel light and uninhibited. This was one of the reasons why pushing past limits was a good thing. Especially when the limits were self-imposed.
Deep down, Ben believed that a large part of life was about overcoming fear, exploring new places and learning new things.
The end of his class was followed by high-fives, hip hugs and smiles of triumph across sweaty, exhausted faces.
Ben had twenty minutes to rest before he began his Pilates class. The hall emptied. Silence dropped like an anvil and he found himself sitting on the floor, back resting on the wall, wiping his face off with a towel and sipping his water.
He wanted to go into the weight room next door and get a few reps in before the next class started, but he knew that it wasn’t wise to keep going without a rest. But he needed to get out of his head.
Despite the euphoric feeling of buoyancy that almost lifted him off his feet earlier, the one reality tethering him to the ground was Oliver.
It had been two weeks since the cruise, and they hadn’t spoken beyond a few texts to check how the other was doing. How were they doing? Busy. Well, Oliver had been busy with a new project. Which was a good reason to raincheck their Friday plans for a movie night. Ben understood. But it wasn’t the first time that Oliver had been busy, and he’d never let that stop him before.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that Oliver was avoiding him. The cruise had changed everything.
When the ship arrived in Miami, they watched the sun set over the city as they approached. They sat on deck, holding each other and enjoying the evening together.
Good memories? Sure, there were a ton of them, but it was hard to recall a single one without the nagging reminder that they were Oliver-related and that he was somehow to blame for the aftermath.
He had suggested that Oliver take him as his fake boyfriend. Before that time, if anyone suggested that he might have feelings for Oliver, that he could like a guy, he would have thought it was absurd. A therapist would have had a field day excavating the rubble of his emotions that related to his repressed attraction to guys.
Oliver helped him feel good about expressing his feelings for another man, his feelings for Oliver.
Since the cruise, he’d come out to a few people. He dropped it in casual conversations with Kate, the girl who worked on the reception desk at the gym, and even to a few of the guys he regularly worked out with.
People had suggested that he go on Grindr to find a guy. But he knew deep down that he’d already found his man.
There was a shift in the quiet atmosphere as the door to the gym hall opened, and scattered voices broke through the meditative silence that blanketed Ben.
He shot to his feet, took a deep breath and made himself smile. It didn’t matter how down he felt; his students shouldn’t have to suffer his feelings of melancholy.
“Hey, gang! Are you ready for a great work—”
The words got lodged in his throat as soon as he spoke them. Oliver entered, talking with two women who were regulars in his class. Ben stood, lips parted and eyebrows arched, before he recovered.
Oliver lifted his lips into a cute smile that carved dimples into his cheeks. Ben wanted to stop time and ask what he was doing, but it was obvious. Oliver was taking his class. When their eyes met again, Ben shook his head and chuckled.
It was just great seeing his friend again.
“Okay, are you ready to get started?” Ben said. “And I would like to welcome all newcomers. Glad to have you join us.” There were several new students, but Ben locked eyes with Oliver for a brief moment.
He instructed everyone to grab a mat and he began his class. He didn’t know Oliver’s game. And he wasn’t about to wait to find out. Showing up to his Pilates class was the best-case scenario. The last thing Ben needed was an awkward talk.
Selfishly, Ben decided he’d talk to Oliver the first chance he got. It would be easy to be inconspicuous. However, as soon as they laid on their mats to begin their stretch, it was Oliver who called Ben over.
“Um, Ben? I need a little help here.”
Confusion seemed to resonate throughout the gym. It definitely went through Ben like a two-ton truck. But it didn’t stop Ben from shooting to his feet.
Standing over Oliver, he looked into his friends’ eyes and then kneeled. In that moment they were the only two in the gym. Seeing the smile on Oliver’s face, Ben’s heart soared.
“Is everything okay?” Ben asked.
“I’m sorry that I’ve been a little standoffish lately. I just needed time to think.” Oliver sat up into a cross-legged position and held Ben’s hand.
“I get that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking myself over the past few days.” Ben squeezed Oliver’s hand. He wanted him to know that he would always be there. That nothing much had changed, and that he was prepared to have things go back to normal. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend. More than anything, I want you as my friend.”
He was prepared to push the cruise to the back of his mind until it was a distant hush of a whispered memory. He just wanted to be with Oliver; he wanted to be a part of his life. It didn’t really matter in what aspect, he just wanted to be there for Oliver.
“I don’t want us to pretend the cruise didn’t happen. What you did for me was the best thing that anyone could have done.” He touched Ben’s face. “I really
liked you as my pretend boyfriend. No one has ever made me feel the way you made me feel. I love you.”
“I-I love you too,” Ben said. He couldn’t hold back the tears that threatened to reduce him to a sobbing mess.
“I don’t want to lose you. I was afraid and selfish, and I didn’t feel like I was good enough for you.”
Ben couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It never crossed his mind that Oliver might doubt himself.
“You’re more than good enough for me. Whenever you’re with me, there’s no place I’d rather be. There’s no one I’d rather be with. You gave me the courage to be myself, to follow what was in my heart and love the way I always wanted to love. I love you.”
Ben’s heart pounded in his chest when Oliver leaned forward and kissed him. At first it didn’t seem real. Until that point, holding and kissing each other had been linked to the Cayman Islands, to the cruise. It seemed like something from another world, a dream world.
Focusing on the press of Oliver’s lips, Ben’s stomach swooped, and he knew this was real. He cradled Oliver in his arms and sealed his lips to Oliver’s mouth. He’d lucked out in falling for someone who was not only his best friend, but the best lover he’d ever had.
Ben barely registered the faint sound of applause behind them.
Epilogue
Three Years Later
Oliver
“8…9…10,” Ben said. He stood facing a tree with his hands covering his eyes. A girl and boy ran off giggling. “Ready or not, here I come!”
Oliver watched them with a smile on his face as he laid on the grass with a picnic blanket in front of him and his laptop out. The park shimmered with light, and a tranquil silence filled the air.
Oliver watched as the girl whizzed in and out of the trees to duck behind bushes. She giggled. She had recently turned four and was always laughing. It was her gap-toothed that captured Oliver’s heart.
“Don’t move,” a whisper came from behind him. Oliver didn’t need to turn around to recognize the voice of five-year-old Andrew, their adopted son. “If you don’t tell Daddy I’m here, I’ll share some of my chocolate chips with you later.”
“Deal,” Oliver said. This was big, as Andrew loved chocolate chips.
It warmed Oliver’s heart to see his family playing together. Although Ben was the active parent when it came to games like hide and seek, Oliver enjoyed watching them.
Oliver loved baking cookies and reading to them before they went to bed.
This was everything Oliver could hope and dream for in a family and a boyfriend. Three years ago, when he came back from the cruise, he didn’t know what the future held for him and Ben. But there was one thing he knew for certain; he didn’t want to be alone. And even if he found himself in another relationship, he knew deep down he would still be alone. Living a life where he denied himself the ability to express his love for Ben would be unbearable.
Taking a chance on love and not expecting fear was like jumping into a pool and not expecting to get wet. He knew there were bound to be risks, the possibility of loss and heartbreak.
Oliver wanted Ben more than anything in the whole world. He was lucky to have him as a friend and even more lucky to have him as a lover. He’d decided to roll the dice.
Ben had never abandoned him. And Oliver knew he would never abandon Ben. Everything they went through on the cruise, the experience and adventure, helped them grow as friends and understand the feelings they held for each other.
Seeing Erica’s happiness had encouraged Oliver to take a chance and plunge into the pool of unending love he had for Ben. Sure, there were guys like Josh, Grant and even his uncle Harry. And maybe the fear of heartbreak might always hover over Oliver, but he’d decided to trust the love he and Ben had for each other.
Oliver wanted to take a chance and believed it was possible for them to have magic in their lives, not just on the Caribbean cruise.
It was the best decision of his life. Every morning when he woke up to Ben lying next to him, he felt his heart dance in his chest. They’d bought a house together and lived happily with Bonnie, Andrew, and Tucker.
Oliver loved the times when Erica and Brendan came to visit with their daughter Melody. The kids would all have a great time playing with each other. Recently, Erica came around even more often after he broke the news about their wedding.
A month ago, they were having lunch at work when Ben got down on one knee. Oliver almost choked on his sandwich. But he immediately recovered. The ring was beautiful. Everything faded; the lunchroom, the people and all the whistles around them, all disappeared. In fact, Oliver could only see Ben. The man he loved more than anything in the world.
“YES!”
As he said the word, he knew with every fiber of his being that he was talking to the man who was his soulmate, his one true love, and his everything. It was the happiest moment of his life.
Eventually, Ben found Bonnie. She giggled and screamed as he lifted her into the air and cradled her in his arms. As he made his way to Oliver, he put Bonnie down on the picnic blanket and fell to his knees.
“I still I can’t find Andrew,” Ben said as he winked at Oliver.
“Surprise!” Andrew said. He jumped out from behind Oliver, causing Ben to fall back in mock-fright. As soon as he fell on his back, the kids started tickling him.
Soon, the kids began chasing a squirrel that was holding a large nut. Ben walked over to Oliver and fell to his knees with a wide grin. Unable to stop himself, Oliver wrapped his arms around Ben.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“What was that for?” Ben asked.
“Just for always being there for me,” Oliver said. “I’ve been talking with the wedding planner, and she’s arranged a meeting for next week.”
“Great,” Ben said.
“And I’ve been looking at matching tuxes,” Oliver said. He turned the laptop to show Ben. “What do you think of midnight blue?”
“Sounds great,” Ben said, squinting at the laptop.
“We’re months away, and I’m already excited,” Oliver said.
“Me too,” Ben said.
“But I’m nervous, too,” Oliver confessed. “I don’t know if dark blue, charcoal grey or teal will be better. I’m…nervous.”
Ben touched Oliver’s hand. “I understand. It’s going to be our wedding day, and you want everything to be perfect.”
“Yes,” Oliver said with a sigh. “Are you nervous?”
“No,” Ben said. “Because you’re going to be there with me. Every step of the way.” He gave Oliver a gentle kiss just before their children came to join them. Bonnie hugged Oliver while Andrew began plucking dandelions.
“Oh, Ben,” Oliver said. His heart swelled in his chest. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
“I love you,” Ben said.
Oliver would never get tired of hearing Ben say those three words.
The End
Also by Ryland Reynolds
Wedding Fever
Sign up for my newsletter to get first notice of new releases and free stories! http://eepurl.com/gRlIrb
Wedding Fever Page 19
