“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said, but he knew she wasn’t.
“You’re pale as a ghost.”
“Can’t you just ignore it? I’ll be back to normal in a minute.”
“No, I can’t ignore it. I didn’t realize you knew Lucinda.”
“Well, I do, and it’s been years since I saw her…I thought I’d feel differently.”
“How did you feel?”
“What are you, my shrink?”
“I’d like to think I’m your friend.” Friend, he thought. Was that really what he wanted?
“I just expected it to be different.”
“It?”
His car was brought up, but he signaled the valet that they’d be a minute more. The feeling of protectiveness was disturbing. He wanted to keep her in the safe box labeled mistress. He didn’t want her upsets to affect him. Yet they did.
“Being back in that room was different,” she said, her voice very soft.
He had the feeling she was talking more to herself than to him. For the first time he realized that he wanted more than Bella’s body. He wanted her secrets, too.
“Different meaning better?” he asked.
“Not necessarily. I think I may have been feeling a bit vindictive when I imagined it.”
He laughed at the way she said that. He already knew she wasn’t all sweetness and light. He’d seen her temper and her sheer force of will, both of which she’d used to support herself and her brother.
He cupped her elbow and led her to his car. As he held the door for her and she slid into the seat, the skirt of her dress rose slightly on her thighs. He stared at her leg until she put her hand on the exposed skin and tugged the fabric down.
He closed the door and walked around the car, using the few seconds to regain his control. The entire mistress contract was supposed to enable him to control his feelings around her. Instead he had the feeling that it had backfired on him.
He saw Kell come outside just as he closed the car door. The expression on Kell’s face wasn’t a good one and he wondered what had happened after they’d left.
He lifted one eyebrow, a silent question to Kell: Should he stay? Kell shook his head and motioned that he’d call later.
Bella fixed her lipstick in the visor mirror and then turned toward him, putting her hand on his thigh.
He glanced at her. It was the first time she’d initiated contact. She scraped her fingernail over the fabric of his pants and he felt that touch echo all the way to his core.
“Thank you,” she said.
He had no idea what she was thanking him for, but if she moved her hand a little bit higher she’d see how much he appreciated her touch. He shook his head, trying to clear it.
“For?”
She rubbed his leg one more time and then pulled her hand back. “For pretending you care.”
He didn’t like the way that sounded.
“I’m not pretending, Bella,” he said, capturing her hand and putting it back on his leg. After tonight he hoped she’d have no doubts about how he felt toward her. “I’ve always cared for you.”
She gave him a sideways look and stroked her finger up the inside of his thigh. “Most people don’t consider lust caring.”
She made him want to laugh at the wry way she said it. It was one of a hundred things about Bella that made him want to be around her. He knew she was scared of any intimacy between them, yet she played that down and treated the attraction with a frankness that was refreshingly honest.
“It’s always been more than lust where you’re concerned,” he said, putting the car in gear and leaving Neiman Marcus behind. And that one crucial point disturbed him more than he thought it would. It was why he’d decided to ask her to be his mistress. His father said that the women who affected a man most deeply were the ones a man had to be careful of.
She said nothing as the miles passed. Then she turned off the radio and reached for his arm.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry about that. When I’m not sure of myself I can be mean.”
“You weren’t mean.”
“Yes I was. And you were really trying to be nice to me.”
“So why did you have a self-confidence attack?”
“Lucinda Cannon,” she said, and pulled her hand back to her own side of the car.
Bella knew she was ruining her image, but could only deal with so much at a time. She was losing control of the evening. Losing the perfect bubble that she’d managed to wrap herself in at the charity event.
Pretending she was someone else—a mysterious stranger who belonged—had helped. But one glimpse of Lucinda Cannon had brought her back to herself. Back to the girl who’d been sent home from the exclusive Swedish boarding school for failure to pay her tuition. Back to the girl whose mother had turned to her society friends for help and had volunteered her to clean the homes of people she’d once considered friends.
She could hear Lucinda’s pitying words from long ago still echoing in her head. And she knew that this night wasn’t about the past. This night was about establishing herself as Jeremy’s mistress and securing her future so that she’d never have to endure pitying looks or charity again.
That was one of the reasons she’d signed the mistress contract. She couldn’t stand the thought of taking charity from another person. She shook her head to clear it as Jeremy turned off the road and into the parking lot at the public beach.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, trying not to feel relieved that they weren’t at a restaurant. She wasn’t ready to face anyone, not even strangers. Her reaction to seeing Lucinda had left her raw and exposed and she had no idea how to pull her shell back around her.
Jeremy didn’t say a word. He put down the windows and then the top of his car. The moon was only a sliver and stars were visible in the evening sky. It was still light enough to see.
The sound of the rolling waves hitting the shore filled the car as did the warm, ocean-scented breeze. She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, breathing in nature.
She focused internally as he fiddled with the radio. The mellow sound of the Dave Matthews Band flowed from the speakers. She loved the group and somehow wasn’t surprised that Jeremy would know that. He was a thorough man. The kind who noticed details and remembered them.
“I think you need to mellow out,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and tossing it in the backseat. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt.
“Mellow out?” she asked. The words were incongruous with Jeremy. He personified hard work and drive. She’d heard his Blackberry beep a couple of times while they’d been driving, and at Neiman Marcus he’d excused himself twice to take calls from his office.
He slanted her a look as he slid his arm along the back of her seat, his hand came to rest on her shoulder. “It means relax.”
She struggled to concentrate on what he was saying as his finger drew lazy circles on her upper arm. He turned toward her, his intense attention focused on her.
“I know what it means. I just didn’t think you did,” she said, knowing she was grasping at this conversation and trying to make something out of nothing. Anything to keep him from bringing up Lucinda again.
“Oh, honey, I know how to relax.”
He was being sweet and she knew he’d deny it if she called him on it. Seeing this side of him made her believe that he could want her for more than six months. This was the man she could fall for, not the arrogant man who’d walked into her office this afternoon and told her that his mistresses wore what he provided.
She fingered the diamond choker at her neck. She was something he’d bought and paid for, like his fancy car with more gadgets than anything she owned. She was an accoutrement and she struggled to remember that he thought of her that way.
“Again with the lust thing.”
The circles he was drawing on her arm got wider until the tip of his forefinger slipped under
the strap of her dress, moving with slow sensual sweeps over her collarbone. “You’re obsessed with making every conversation we have sexual.”
No, she wasn’t. She had just learned from dealing with men that they were easily led off topic when sex was introduced into the conversation. And hey, she was honest enough to admit that it was easier to resist him in the moonlight when she thought he was only after one thing.
“Isn’t that what being a mistress is about?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I suppose each woman has a different reason.”
Somehow that made her feel a little better. “What about you? Why do you want a mistress?”
“My father was always happier with his mistresses than he was with my mother. I guess I just want to be happy. Does that make sense?”
“Yes,” she said. More sense than she wanted it to.
Making Jeremy want more than six months with her was going to be harder than she’d first thought.
He left off caressing her arm and shoulder and traced the line of the choker. Her pulse sped up and the slow, steady rhythm of the music mirrored the beat of her heart.
She forgot about vindication and contracts. She forgot about wanting something that had been taken away from her too soon. She forgot about everything except the man sitting next to her.
The man filling her head with thoughts that she’d never had before. Thoughts of nighttime walks on the beach; thoughts of forever. The future had always been nebulous for her. As a young girl, the princess of her family, she’d awaited her future, sure that it would hold only more pampering and treasures. She’d never guessed that it could be such a harsh and cold place.
Despite what she might feel in this moment for Jeremy, she had to remember that the future wasn’t a rosy, cheery place. The future, even one with him, would be filled with moments like the one she’d had tonight when she’d seen Lucinda. A moment that could make her stomach feel filled with lead.
“Don’t think so much, honey.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Yes, you can,” he said, wrapping his arm around her and bending to kiss her. A sweet, gentle kiss….
Maybe the future wouldn’t be so cold and harsh after all.
Jeremy’s good intentions of relaxing Bella faded quickly when she melted in his arms. He held her loosely, trying to remember why he’d thought stopping at this very public spot would be a good idea.
He’d wanted to slow things down, to slow himself down and not rush his seduction. But at this moment, with her lips so tender under his, he couldn’t recall why.
His cell phone rang again. Reluctantly he pulled away from Bella to glance at the caller ID. Kell. Again.
“I’ve got to take this.”
She nodded and opened her door. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
He stopped her with his hand on her wrist. “Stay.”
She sank back into the seat as he accepted the call.
“Kell, man, you know I’m on a date.”
“I wanted to make sure you had all the information you needed.”
“About?” he asked.
“Isabella.”
He glanced over at the woman in question. She had her head tipped back against the headrest and her eyes closed. She tapped her fingers to the rhythm of the music playing. He had a sinking feeling in his gut that Kell wasn’t calling to recommend Bella’s event-planning company.
“And?”
Kell took a deep breath and Jeremy worried what his friend might have heard. “She’s a gold digger, man. Lucinda remembers her. Don’t be fooled by her designer gown or jewelry—she’s penniless. And there’s more you should know about her father.”
Jeremy felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of his friends gossiping about them when they’d left. Talking about her gown and the jewelry that he’d insisted she wear. He had an inkling of understanding as to why Bella had blanched when she saw Lucinda. What had happened between those two?
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Since they had a contractual arrangement, he wasn’t too worried about any designs that Bella had on his money.
“You’re still going to—”
“Do whatever I damn well please.”
“It’s your funeral.”
“Thanks for the encouragement.”
“Jeremy, I, uh, I just don’t want to see you make the same mistake I did.”
He knew that Kell didn’t interfere unless he had a good reason. And Jeremy did appreciate his cousin looking out for him. Maybe he should set Kell straight on Bella. As soon as she wasn’t sitting next to him. “Thanks, Kell. I won’t. Are we still on for golf tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Kell said, and disconnected the call.
He tossed his phone into the center console and turned toward Bella. She opened her eyes and looked at him.
“Everything okay?” she asked, with a note of caring in her voice that made him wonder yet again why she’d settle for a business relationship with him instead of a more personal one.
“Yes, fine.”
“So what’s next? Sorry about wigging out earlier. I’m not usually like that. You knocked me off balance by showing up out of the blue like you did.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Glad to know that my plan worked.”
She smiled. “You have a very devious mind.”
“I’m a planner.”
“Really? I’m more a reactor.”
He had seen that firsthand. She seldom made plans for the long term. When he’d run into her three years ago, she’d been focused on getting Dare through college and hadn’t thought beyond that. Even when making her business strategy, she seldom wanted to look more than six months ahead.
“I don’t like to have to react. When you have a plan, you’re in control.”
She shook her head.
“You don’t agree.”
“Ah, sorry, but no. When you have a plan all you have is the illusion of control. You can’t expect the unexpected.”
“Like me coming to your office tonight.”
“Exactly. I knew it was time to pay up, but thought I’d manage it from my end.”
He’d meant to catch her off guard. When Bella was prepared she was hard to read. She gave the scripted reactions to everything instead of letting him see a glimpse of the real woman. He’d only caught her by surprise twice, counting tonight. The first time, he’d kissed her—and offered to make her his mistress.
But then, her responses to him each time never failed to stagger him. He always built variables into his strategic plans for business and for his personal life, but she never responded the way he expected her to.
“We have two choices,” he said.
“And they are?”
“We can still make our dinner reservation, or we can take a walk on the beach and then I’ll take you home and cook for you.”
“I’m not ready to be with other people right now,” she said.
“Want to talk about it?”
“No. I’ll deal with it.”
“The way you always have,” he said under his breath.
“What does that mean?”
“That you’re too used to being on your own. I’m in your life now.”
“For six months, Jeremy. When you’re gone I’ll be back where I started.”
“I’m not gone yet.”
“But you will be and I don’t want to forget that.”
“Until then I think we can have one hell of a ride, Bella.”
She said nothing, and he wondered if this would be it. The moment when she decided that she’d had enough of him and his contract and walked away.
She sighed and put her hand on his thigh again. “I think I’d like for you to cook me dinner.”
Four
Jeremy’s house was plush and sophisticated. The trappings of his family’s legacy of wealth were everywhere. It reminded her at once of her childhood home and she felt a pang in her heart as they walked by the pool in the back of the house.
The smell of hibiscus was thick in the air. The meal he’d prepared had been simple and delicious and she savored the novelty of having a man cook for her. He’d offered her an after-dinner drink but she declined. This wasn’t the time to do too much drinking and the wine she’d had with dinner was giving her a sweet buzz.
She was a little sleepy, but wasn’t ready for this night to end. It had been a tumultuous ride, but she was getting used to that. It seemed everything with Jeremy was unexpected.
“What are you thinking of?” he asked, quietly coming up behind her.
She bit her lower lip. Honesty had been her policy since she’d realized that lying hurt her more than the truth.
“You.”
“Hmm, that sounds good.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? That’s all I get?”
“Yes. You’re too arrogant for your own good,” she said, but her words lacked heat. Tonight she’d seen a different side to him. A side that wasn’t entirely unexpected. She’d been telling him the truth in the car—she was a reactor. But this situation was difficult for her. She wasn’t sure how to react.
Inside she battled with her physical responses to him as a woman and what her mind was telling her. She needed to find a way to balance honesty with self-preservation. Because if she responded to him in the way she truly felt, she was so afraid she’d lose part of herself—her heart.
It would be so easy to melt into this role. To stop worrying about the future and just let the next six months bump along according to his design. But at the end of that six months what would she have left? The same things she had now…unless she planted the seeds of the future with Jeremy.
“You’re thinking again.”
She smiled at him and hoped her expression didn’t reveal the sadness that was tingeing this moment.
“Sorry.” She didn’t say more than that, afraid that she’d blurt out more than she wanted him to know.
“Don’t be. I do have some papers for you to go over. I’ve leased a luxury townhome for you to live in and I set up some accounts for you.”
“I don’t need any of that,” she said. He’d already mentioned that he would provide housing and accounts, but the last thing she wanted was to take anything else from Jeremy. And she needed her real life. Her small home and her friends. They were what kept her grounded.
Six-Month Mistress (The Mistresses Book 2) Page 3
