by Iris Morland
He closed his eyes, seeing Max’s wide smile, the way he tipped his head back when he laughed. Max had been carefree, and everyone had loved him. He was one of those people other people gravitated toward. When Seth had joined the Marines, he’d been lost, needing purpose; Lizzie had run off, and his parents had disapproved of his wandering ways. He’d lost touch with any friends from high school.
Max had been there, though. And when Max had asked Seth to be his daughter’s godfather, he’d said yes without hesitation.
“One second we were joking, shooting the shit. The next—an explosion so loud that I thought I’d gone permanently deaf. It’s like being thrown by a tornado or something. You can’t fight it; you just have to hope you land without being broken in two.”
Rose had moved closer to him and placed a hand on his knee. “Seth, I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head. “Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Max’s wife, Jessica, and to their baby girl. I couldn’t save him. It should’ve been me, not him.”
He’d never said that thought out loud. Rose’s breath caught, and her hand gripped his knee. Then she took his hand and squeezed.
He allowed the touch for a moment until he gently pulled away. “That’s what my nightmares are about.” He shrugged, because what else could he do? Cry? Yell? Scream? It was what it was. Life was shitty more often than not and you just had to push through it.
“I’ve heard you. During the night,” she admitted. Her cheeks turned a little pink. “And you know what I thought?”
“What?”
“I was glad I wasn’t the only one. How terrible is that?” She tugged on her braid, the blue tips bright against her pale skin. “I’m so glad someone else is suffering, too.” She shook her head.
“That’s not terrible.” At her continued head-shaking, he said more firmly, “It isn’t. It’s just…human.”
“So we’re both human?” She smiled sadly. “How sad. How mortal.”
She had yet to tell him what was going on with her, but he could wait. In this instance, he’d wait until the end of time for her. He didn’t want to consider why—why now, why this woman—but there it was.
She kept pulling at her hair until it was about to come out of its braid. “If I tell you what’s going on, will you promise not to tell anyone? And I mean anyone. Not the police, not your brothers, nobody.”
After a long moment, he nodded.
“I already told you that my ex won’t leave me alone. There’s more to it than that.”
His lips twisted. “I figured.”
In halting tones, she told him about how she’d met Johnny Porter at college. How she’d fallen for him quickly, how he’d seemed so charming and thoughtful and smart. How she’d been sheltered from the world thanks to Heath, and although she didn’t blame her brother at all, she wished she hadn’t been so naïve. So innocent.
“This part, you can’t tell anyone. Promise me.” Her face was pale and drawn.
He took her hand and squeezed it. “I promise, Rose.”
She told him of Heath’s arrest, of the drugs. How she’d known Heath was innocent, but he hadn’t had any money to get a good lawyer. How Johnny had told her he’d get the charges dropped and erased, and how she’d agreed to whatever Johnny had wanted.
With every word, Seth’s anger increased. He wanted to find that weasel of an ex-boyfriend and beat him until he sobbed for mercy. His hands twitched in his lap, and he could feel a vein pulsing in his forehead.
“But mostly I’m telling you this because I’m afraid for you,” she said quickly.
He blinked. “Me?”
“Johnny, he’s—he’s seen us. Together.” She swallowed. “He found me at the park today and threatened not only me, but you. I knew you should know. If you should be hurt because of me…” That finally caused her to sob, but she looked away.
“Rose, princess, look at me.” She wouldn’t look at him; she just shook her head. “I can take care of myself. And if that piece of shit gets near you again, I’ll kill him.”
That made her look up. “No, you can’t. Please. He has friends, people who can hurt you and your family. Don’t do anything stupid. Promise me.”
“You’ve been asking me to promise a lot tonight.”
“I just wanted to warn you. I almost have the money, and this will be over. I swear it.”
She became so agitated that she started trembling. He hauled her into his arms, the top of her head tucked under his chin. She shivered like she’d been caught in the snow, and he rubbed her arms and murmured sweet nothings in her ear.
He stroked her hair until she calmed, but he didn’t let her go. He couldn’t.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he vowed. “If I promise anything, it’s that.”
“Oh, Seth…”
“Don’t tell me no. Don’t tell me you’ll take care of yourself. I’m a soldier; I can take care of myself and I can take care of you.” When she looked up at him, he touched her cheek with a gentle caress. “I’ll watch over you, Rose.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she buried her face in his shoulder. She didn’t cry; she just clung to him until her terror came under control.
To his surprise, she didn’t tell him to go home or move away. She tilted her head back, and looking at him from under her lashes, she whispered, “Kiss me, Seth. Make me forget.”
The decision had been instantaneous, but it felt right. Rose thought of her dream that had been polluted with Johnny near the end. She wanted that nightmare eradicated by reality. Here in Seth’s arms, she felt safer than she’d felt in a long time.
When he vowed to keep her safe, she believed him.
His eyes darkened, his pupils expanding until there was barely any iris left. She ached for his kiss like she’d never ached for anything in her life. Although her nightmares and her memories were present, she could push them aside right now.
She wanted something good. Something bright and clean and lovely. She wanted to be wanted for herself for once.
“Kiss me,” she said again. She pressed her hand against his thumping heart, and she felt him inhale.
When she felt his cock harden under her, she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
“I’m not going to take advantage of you,” he said, but he didn’t sound convinced. His eye twitched; his jaw was clenched.
She trailed her fingers along his hard jaw, feeling the stubble there. “You’re not taking advantage if I want it.”
“You’re tired. You should sleep.”
She bit back a smile. Rising up, she looped her arms around his neck. “I’m not tired. And I don’t want to sleep right now.”
When she kissed him, she almost lost her courage when he didn’t move. He was like a statue in her arms—albeit a warm one. One who smelled so good and was so handsome it made her heart flutter every time she saw him.
She broke the kiss and stared into his eyes. She waited.
Then, he wrapped her in his arms and muttered a curse under his breath before he kissed her.
He didn’t just kiss her—he enveloped her.
Rose moaned, long and low, as his kiss deepened. She thought of their kiss outside, and she could say easily that that one couldn’t compare. This one made her skin feel too tight for her body, and she longed to have his fingers brush every inch of her. She opened her mouth further, making the kiss even more intense, but he laughed under his breath.
“Patience,” he soothed, his hands coasting down her spine. “We have all night.”
He didn’t understand—they didn’t have all night. They only had this moment. She began to kiss down his neck, licking at the salty taste she found there, and he tugged at her braid.
She found herself lifted into his arms a second later, and he carried her to her bedroom. She wasn’t even embarrassed that she didn’t have a bed: just a nest of blankets and pillows. It was a far cry from her dream, that was for sure, but this was better. In a dream, you could
n’t feel a man’s heat, or feel the play of his muscles. You couldn’t smell him, or discover scars and moles and freckles that marked him as painfully human.
Rose traced a scar on his left pectoral right as he laid her down in her nest. Callie had followed them and stood near the door, which made Rose laugh. Seth frowned and then looked over his shoulder.
“Callie, go lie down,” Rose said. Callie hesitated before trotting to her bed; Rose could hear her huffing out a sad doggy sigh at being banished.
With the moonlight coming through the window, it bathed Seth in an ethereal light. Rose almost wondered if this were another dream. Yet as Seth pushed her tank up to expose her belly, she knew this was truly happening.
After Johnny, Rose hadn’t wanted any man to touch her. She hadn’t dated, and she definitely hadn’t slept with anyone. It had been too painful, and it had only reminded her of what Johnny had destroyed.
Tonight, though, she wanted a man for the first time in years. It thrilled her as much as it scared her.
Seth kissed her, caressing her, not pushing her to go any faster. His lips were surprisingly soft for a man who presented such a tough exterior. What other secrets did Seth Thornton’s heart hold? She wanted to know all of them: the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he kissed down her neck. He pulled her hair tie from her braid and fanned the locks over her shoulder. “Why the blue?”
“I wanted something different.” She shrugged. “I didn’t want to be like anybody else.”
“No one would think that of you.”
Her heart beat faster; she had to close her eyes for a moment to reorient herself. It didn’t help that Seth continued to kiss her and caress her, his fingers so gentle she wanted to cry.
“We don’t have to do anything tonight,” he said again.
Her eyes flew open. The thought of him leaving—she clutched at him. “No, no. I want you to stay. I want you.”
She pulled off her tank top and was about to take off her pajama shorts when Seth stopped her.
“Like I said: we have time. Don’t rush this.”
She nodded, and then when she saw the heat in his eyes as he gazed at her bare breasts, she felt like flames were licking across her skin.
Her breasts were on the small side, and she didn’t have to wear a bra all the time if she didn’t want to. Johnny had always hated her small breasts, telling her he’d pay for implants, but she’d never accepted his oh-so-generous offer.
Right then, she was glad she hadn’t.
“Beautiful,” Seth breathed as he brushed his thumb across one straining nipple.
Rose was sitting up, but at his touch on her breast, she fell back onto her blankets. Rising over her, Seth took her breast into his mouth, the feeling so shocking that all the air left her lungs.
She arched, she moaned, she begged. He sucked one nipple and rolled the other, and she’d never known her breasts could be this sensitive. Running her fingers through his hair, she whispered his name like a benediction.
As he kissed her breasts, she managed to push her pajama shorts and panties to her ankles. Seth’s gaze met hers when he felt her bare hip brush his own.
“Touch me,” she breathed. “Please.”
He sent her a wicked grin, and when he began to lick at one nipple while his hand found her swollen sex, she bit her lip to keep from screaming. Or maybe from crying. She wasn’t sure anymore.
He parted her, growling when he touched her there, and she could feel herself growing wetter with every stroke. She bucked against his searching hand, but he refused to give her the release she so desperately wanted. Not yet.
“Widen your legs for me. That’s it, princess. I can feel how much you want me and it’s driving me insane.” He stared down at her now, his fingers spreading her wetness, delving into her tight sheath ever so slightly.
She clutched his biceps. “Don’t call me that,” she managed to squeak out.
He laughed. “You’re right. You know what I thought you were after that second time I met you?”
She wanted to die; she wanted to kick him. When he began to rub her clit in slow circles, she started gasping.
“I thought, ‘She’s not a princess. She’s a hummingbird. All color and movement.’” He started rubbing faster, his index finger pressing inside her.
Stuffing her fist into her mouth, Rose wondered if you could die from wanting. And right as her release hit her, she experienced not only the untold pleasure from Seth’s skilled fingers, but a fear that had been lurking in the corners of her mind all night.
She struggled to find herself within the shadows even as her orgasm made her cry out. She wanted to hold Seth close and push him away. As she opened her eyes, the moon had moved so it was too dark to see Seth’s face. Was it still him? Or was this another version of her nightmare?
But then he kissed her, and she tasted him on her lips. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he laughed again.
“Hummingbird, what are you—? No, it’s all right. I’m here. Hush.”
She struggled to keep herself from sobbing. She was so mixed up, so confused. Why had she done this? She was so stupid. She needed to think.
She needed to be alone.
When she managed to find her equilibrium again, her body no longer trembling from her release, she rose from the nest of blankets.
She could just make out Seth frowning up at her.
“What is it?” he asked. “Are you okay?”
She almost shook her head, then stopped. “I need to go to sleep,” was the only response she could muster.
The clouds covering the moon moved again, and she saw his confusion. His hurt. Her heart twisted. Then he rose and kissed her—hard—before leaving her to be alone again.
Just like she wanted.
10
The weekend before the Fourth of July, the entire Thornton clan and their various significant others rented a boat to celebrate Caleb’s thirty-fourth birthday. Caleb had told Megan he didn’t want anything big, but she’d decided that he should definitely have a party. Not only to celebrate his birthday, but to celebrate his promotion at work.
When Caleb and Megan got on the boat, everyone yelled “Surprise!” when they walked to the stern. Caleb jumped a little and then laughed.
“Happy birthday!” Megan kissed him with a smacking sound, and Seth was amused to notice his brother blushing a little.
“Didn’t I tell you I didn’t want a party?” Caleb shook his head, but he looked pleased nonetheless. “How did you manage to plan this without me knowing?”
“Oh, a woman never tells her secrets,” Megan demurred.
That resulted in laughter all around, and then the drinks were being poured. Since Harrison had rented the boat, they had a captain to make certain the boat didn’t go anywhere it shouldn’t, which really just meant everyone could drink to their heart’s content.
Seth grabbed a beer from the cooler and watched his siblings—Harrison with his wife, Sara; Caleb with his wife, Megan; Mark with his wife, Abby; Lizzie with Trent (and Bea, as she couldn’t be away from Lizzie very long), and then Jubilee. Megan had also invited Trent’s brother, Ash, and his sister, Thea; and then, to Seth’s utter delight, there was Heath DiMarco, glaring at him from the top deck.
Seth had heard someone mention Rose’s name and that she’d been invited, but she’d apparently declined to attend.
Of course she had. He drank his beer with quick gulps.
Lizzie, with Bea in a front pack, came over to Seth and looked up. Then she whistled.
“Did you kill his dog?” she asked semiseriously. “Oh, wait—is this about Rose?”
Seth didn’t answer.
He hadn’t seen Rose in days following their night together, only hearing her door open and close when she arrived home. They’d briefly run into each other yesterday, but she’d stuttered something random and hurried away. He’d been this close to pulling her into his apartment an
d demanding answers.
After their night together, he’d thought—what? That they’d make things official? He didn’t know what their relationship even was. He did know, however, that he would keep her safe no matter what she said or did. His blood boiled at the mere memory of what that asshole Johnny had done to her.
“It’s complicated,” Seth finally replied when Heath turned away to talk to Harrison.
“Hmm, isn’t it always?” Lizzie crooned to Bea, “Your uncle Seth is so mysterious, isn’t he? I bet he’d tell his favorite niece all his secrets.”
Seth smiled. Looking at Bea’s bright blue eyes and toothless smile, he definitely couldn’t deny that assertion. He’d do anything for this little girl. She had everyone wrapped around her tiny pinky.
“Here, can you hold her? I need to go to the bathroom.” Lizzie handed him Bea with a bright smile before he could protest.
Not that he’d say no. In the passing weeks since Bea’s birth—she was three months old now, wasn’t she?—he’d gotten more comfortable around her. She was an easy baby to like, though. Lizzie had been shocked when not only did Bea sleep through the night most nights, but she was only fussy when she was hungry or tired or wet. The usual kinds of reasons to fuss.
Right now, Bea reached up to grab Seth’s nose. Her fingers were wet and she smelled like baby powder, but Seth’s heart did that annoying twist that it always did when he held his niece.
Who knew someone so small could affect your life so profoundly?
“What do you think I should do?” he murmured to Bea as he took her to look out over the stern. The lake was bright and shining, and it was a perfect day for boating. Seagulls flew about, cawing, and he watched as one flew down to catch a fish near the surface of the water. Seth pulled Bea’s sun hat further down so the sun wouldn’t hurt her eyes. Should she wear sunglasses? Did babies wear sunglasses?
