“You know I hate to apologize, but I’m genuinely sorry to cut this night short, Josh,” she tells me. “I’m exhausted and have a three-thirty wake-up time tomorrow.”
“That’s so early,” I say, paying the bill. “Do you always start your days like that?”
She nods. “Yep, it’s the life of a baker. I’m used to it — I’ve been on this schedule for a few years. But it can make dating clunky. And friendships are hard too. It’s like I work graveyard, only worse. I can’t exactly ask a guy to go to bed at seven every night.”
“I’d do that,” I tell her.
She laughs. “Sure you would. And then one of your buddies would ask you to go out for a drink and suddenly you’d be a train wreck for days.”
“You don’t believe me, do you?”
She laughs. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“When can I see you again?”
Jessa twists her lips. “Sunday? I’m closed on Monday so it’s my weekend.”
“It’s a date.”
She gives me her details and while I want to pull her in for a kiss, I see her hesitate. And I have a feeling this girl has been through hell with men. I’m not going to push anything with her. I know she is worth the wait.
* * *
When Matt and Grady text and tell me they are meeting at O’Malley’s for a beer, I go, deciding it’s gonna be my last night out with the guys.
Jessa needs a partner who will slide into bed with her at night, hold her tight. I want to be that man. Sure, we just met, and sure I have never felt so goddamn smitten before, but that doesn’t mean what I’m feeling isn’t real.
The guys give me a hard time. Everyone but Matt. Apparently some girl named Mirabella has him all worked up. For the first time in my life, I can relate.
After Matt’s shrugged off for the night, Grady asks if Jessa liked the aloe vera plant. “She loved it. It was the perfect thing.”
“You really like her, huh?”
“I do, but she has walls up — she’s been through stuff, you can see it in her eyes. The last thing I want is for her to push me away. I have a feeling we could be pretty fucking great.”
Grady takes a drink of his beer. “Good thing she has a guy like you, someone who knows all about feelings and shit.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “So what about you, Grady?” I ask. “Dating anyone?”
Grady laughs it off as our friend Vance joins us. He is all fired up about his little sister Georgina.
“She’s acting wild. She needs to be tamed,” Vance huffs as he takes a long pull on his beer. Vance is a bouncer at a club and keeps tabs on his sister. “Good thing her best friend Valerie is level-headed.”
A loud guy from a few tables over has us turning our heads. “Hey sugar,” he calls out to a young woman. “I know you wanna piece of this.”
“Please leave me alone,” the woman says, looking around for her friends. She’s alone though, and looks like a deer in headlights.
The man stands up, chuckling. “Aww, you know you want me, princess. I’m a real man.” He cups his groin. “And I could take care of your little—”
I step up to him, cutting him off before he can finish this lewd thought. “Leave her alone.”
“Or what?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.
“Or we’ll make sure you’re dealt with. Get out of here. Now,” I growl. I know Vance and Grady are behind me and we aren’t backing down.
The asshole grunts, dropping it, and instead of saying any more, he leaves like a dog with his tail between his legs.
The woman is joined by her friends, and I see a look of gratitude sweep over her.
I leave O’Malley’s, thinking that if anyone ever treated Jessa like that it would be difficult not to punch them in the face. And as I get in bed, I can’t help but wish I could speed up time. That Jessa was here, in bed with me. That I was the man she chose to protect her now and forever.
Sunday night can’t get here soon enough.
Jessa
There is no reason for me to have doubts about Josh, but as I close the shop Sunday afternoon and head to my apartment to get ready for my date, old feelings crop up.
I shower, hoping that the water will wash my fear away, but after I wrap a towel around myself, I think maybe it’s better for me to cancel.
Just as I am about to, my friend Valerie calls.
“Hey,” I say, surprised. “Didn’t expect to hear from you.”
She laughs. “Seriously? I know what you are doing right now. And this is your only friend calling to talk you off the ledge.”
I groan, sitting down on my bed in my towel. “How did you know?”
“Because you’re the queen of self-sabotage. And I love you too much to let you do this to yourself.”
Valerie and I were foster sisters and she knows me better than anyone. In fact, after that asshole Tim talked down to me at the bank, she was the one who told me the value of filing an official grievance. I’m glad I did. It was one of the first times I really stuck up for myself.
“He’s just… out of my league. And I’m scared, Val. Because he’s different…”
“Different how?”
I swallow. “Different like his parents are stable, supportive. They all went to Ivy League schools. They all—”
“Hey,” Val shushes me. “Listen, don’t compare yourself to anyone. You’re a survivor, Jessa. And a strong woman. He’s lucky to even get this date with you. Make him earn it, okay?”
“I just don’t even know where we’re going. I don’t have fancy clothes or—”
“Wear something that makes you feel like you. Don’t dress to impress.”
I laugh, grateful for her sound advice. “Why are you so level-headed?”
“I think it’s because I’m a Libra.”
I laugh, knowing she is obsessed with horoscopes. “Okay, well let’s hope my zodiac is in the mood for love.”
She laughs. “Oh, I bet your sun sign is in the mood for more than love. Girl, it’s time you got—”
Not wanting her to mention my status as a virgin, I groan. “I’m hanging up now!”
“Love you, Jessa.”
“Love you more.”
I stand, walking to my dresser, looking for my favorite blue jeans. Val’s right, like always. It’s a date, not an interview. And all I need to be is myself.
Chapter Four
Josh
When I get to her apartment, I’m greeted with a big smile and it warms my heart. Part of me was scared she forgot, changed her mind, wouldn’t be here at all.
Because meeting her felt too good to be true.
But here she is, looking goddamn adorable.
“Am I dressed okay?” she asks, looking down at herself. I use the moment to take her in. She is in light wash jeans and a pair of white low top Converse. She has on a V-neck tee that flatters her curves and an Army green jacket. Her red hair is in a bun on the top of her head, and her emerald eyes flicker with light.
“You look great,” I tell her. “We must have been on the same wavelength.” I point to my own Converse.
She smiles. “Oh good,” she breathes. “I was nervous. I didn’t know if I should dress up or what we were doing, and I thought about texting but didn’t want to seem needy and—”
I cut her off, resting a hand on the small of her back. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re wearing the perfect outfit for what I planned. And if you wanted to text, I’m sorry you didn’t think you could. I would have loved to hear from you.”
“Really?” She presses her lips together in a smile as she turns to lock her apartment door. “Well, thanks for that. Val said I needed to chill out. Calm down.”
“You were nervous to see me?” I take her hand as we walk down the sidewalk to my car. I love the way her hand feels against mine. Small and smooth, precious. I don’t ever want to let go.
“A little.” Our eyes meet and she laughs. “Okay, a lot.”
“Why is that?” I ask, openin
g the door to my SUV.
She pauses, facing me before she gets in. “Because Josh, you’re… the complete package.”
“So are you, Jessa,” I say, closing the space between us. God, I want to kiss her.
She shakes her head, tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t grow up like you,” she says. I frown — those words weren’t anything I was expecting to hear.
“Why does that matter?”
“I just… Val says it doesn’t matter, but Josh, you have a nice family and a fancy education and—”
“I don’t know who Val is, but I like her way of thinking, Jessa.”
“Yeah?” She lowers her chin, but looks up at me.
I rest my palm on her cheek. “Yeah. Because I don’t think our past defines us. Our present does.”
“And your present, what is the definition?”
I lean in close, breathing her in — lavender shampoo and fruity perfume. “Complete and utter happiness.”
She closes her eyes, lets out the softest whimper. A plea. I lean in and kiss her, soft. So, so soft. Soft and slow. The kind of kiss you don’t forget, the kind of kiss that makes you forget to breathe. The kind of kiss that matters more than anything else.
The kind of kiss that is a promise. A promise of more to come. So much more.
“God, I like you,” I tell her, my hand on her back, drawing her close.
“I like you too.”
Our eyes meet and my heart pounds. I know this is more than like.
I know it’s the beginning of everything.
Jessa
It’s hard to concentrate on the road as Josh drives. He takes my hand in his and kisses my fingers, and my belly flip-flops with happiness.
“Are you scared of heights?” he asks as we pull into a famous amusement park.
My eyes widen. I was not expecting this. “No, I’m not… Are we really coming here?”
He nods, following the instructions of a parking lot attendant and pulling into a spot. “I thought you could use some fun after a hard week of work.”
I laugh, so surprised. “I figured you’d take me somewhere fancy… Somewhere…”
Josh laughs, taking my hand as walk to the park’s entrance. “You have a lot to learn about me, Jessa. I’m a kid at heart.”
“But you’re a doctor…”
He shakes his head. “A therapist. And don’t judge me because I’m a good listener.”
I laugh. “Sorry. I guess I kind of did.”
“It’s okay. As long as you promise to give me a chance now.”
“I promise,” I tell him, pulling him close, wanting another kiss. Many more, in fact. Because his lips send waves of pleasure though my body, and when he wraps his arms around me, lifting me off the ground, I feel weightless and beautiful. I feel wanted and seen and truly, that is the emotion I’ve been looking for all my life. Being with Josh feels so good so right, so—
“What are you thinking?” he asks, searching my eyes as he sets me back on the ground.
“I was thinking I more than like you,” I admit.
His eyes brighten and he kisses my cheek. “Good, because I more than like you too.” He smacks my butt, then grabs us tickets and we enter the park.
The sun is setting and the park is lit up. Hand in hand, we choose a roller coaster and get in line. Soon enough, we are strapped into a little car made for two and screaming as we zip and zoom, taking corkscrews and sharp drops.
I’m holding onto him for dear life, and I admit seeing him scream his head off makes me drop whatever barriers I’d been holding. There is no hiding our emotions when we are going at 200 miles per hour.
We ride one roller coaster after another, laughing the entire time. The rush of adrenaline has us kissing as we wait in lines, our fingers laced, our hearts racing.
“I’ve never had so much fun in my life,” I admit after another ride. We’re eating corndogs at a plastic table, catching our breaths. “I’ve never been to an amusement park before.”
His eyes practically bug out of their sockets. “Seriously? But you aren’t scared at all.”
“Oh, I’m scared of things,” I tell him. “I’m scared of rejection. And my heart being broken again. I’m telling you, my parents really did a number on me. But height? Speed?” I shake my head. “That’s the easy stuff.”
“So you aren’t scared of things moving fast?” he asks, taking his hand in mine. He runs his thumb over my knuckles and my whole body feels alive. Present. Ready.
“No. I’m not scared of things moving fast. It’s like… maybe I’ve been waiting my whole life for this ride to start.”
“Fuck.” Josh shakes his head, a smile on his face. “I’m falling for you, Jessa,” he says.
“Good,” I tell him, not shying away from my truth. “Because I’m falling for you.”
“Where do we go from here?” he asks, pulling me to stand.
I grin, feeling like a girl in love, pointing to the Ferris wheel. “Let’s go count the stars.”
Chapter Five
Josh
When we get to the Ferris wheel, I slip the attendant a few hundred bucks, asking him to stop it at the top for an hour.
He smiles, and once we get on, I see that he gets out a sign that reads CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE. I grin, pulling my girl closer, kissing the top of her head.
When we get into our enclosed pod, I rest my arm around her and settle in for the best ride of my life.
“So you went to places like this growing up?” Jessa asks.
“Yeah, my parents did this thing for birthdays and Christmases where we didn’t get toys or clothes, we got experiences. So as a family, we always were onto some new adventure.”
“Wow, that’s so cool — I want to do that with my kids one day.”
“You want a family?” I ask.
She nods. “Yeah, it’s not that I want some perfect family after my messy one, but I’d like to be a mom. I want to have a family to create memories with.”
“I want that for you too, Jessa.”
She looks up at me, nestling closer. “And what about you? You want kids?”
I grin. “After tonight, you know how much of a kid I am. But in all honesty, yeah. I want to coach the tee-ball team and drive the minivan. The whole thing.”
“Have you always been so ready to settle down?”
I laugh. “No. I’ve always known I’d want to be a father someday. But the settling down part? I never had expectations about when that would happen.”
She nods. “I understand that. I haven’t, either. I figured I’d get my bakery going, which is more work than I expected. And then maybe one day I’d find my person.”
The moment feels weighted — not in a heavy way, in a sacred way. In a way that will change everything.
“Jessa,” I start at the same time she says my name. We laugh.
“You go,” she says, facing me, her hands on my chest.
“Jessa, I know it’s faster than a roller coaster, but I swear to you, I’m more than falling. I’m head over heels already.”
She smiles wide, nodding. “Me too, Josh, me too.” Then her eyes go wide in alarm. “Wait, did the Ferris wheel stop?”
I chuckle, telling her how I paid the guy off.
“So we’re up here, alone, for an hour?”
I nod. “Yeah, that okay?”
She licks her lips. “You know how I said I’d never been to an amusement park? Well, I’ve never done something else, too… and I think this is the perfect spot.”
“Wait, what are you saying, Jessa?” I ask, my cock twitching.
“I’m a virgin,” she says. “And I think you should pop my cherry on top of the Ferris wheel.”
I groan, pulling her into my lap. “God, you are perfection. You know that, right?”
“When you say it, I somehow believe it.”
“Good,” I tell her. “Because you’re gonna have to trust me if you really want to have sex up here.”
“I trust you,” she says, shrugging off her jacket. I run my hands under the hem of her T-shirt. “And I really, really want you.”
Her skin is soft and I lift her shirt over her head, my cock aching as I do.
Jessa
Josh makes me feel so beautiful, so free, so… ohhh, so good. With my shirt off, I feel the cool air on my skin even though we are in an enclosed pod. For a moment, I hesitate, fully aware of my bare belly.
“What is it?” he asks.
“My muffin top,” I say, looking at the skin above my jeans.
He brushes my hand aside. “I think you’re beautiful. Your curves turn me on, Jessa.”
“Yeah?” I ask, aware of his thick cock as I straddle him. I’ve never been with a man before but I’m not naïve. I know how this works. And God, my body is screaming to make it work, now.
“You sure this is how you want your first time, baby?”
I nod. “I’m sure.”
The sky is dark now — there are hundreds of stars lighting up the sky. Being in this small space with Josh feels so safe, even if what we are planning is reckless. Still, it feels romantic, being here alone with a man who not only wants me, but sees me.
I see him too. I roll off of him for a moment, giggling, and shimmy out of my jeans. Why didn’t I wear a dress? The pod we are in shakes slightly. “Oh God,” I say, laughing as I grab onto him.
“It’s okay,” he tells me, holding onto me. “I got you, girl.”
I know he does and I stand, facing him. He runs his hand over my bare skin, over my ass. I’m wearing a hot pink thong and he hooks his finger under it.
“God, you are gorgeous,” he tells me.
“You’re making me blush.” I say as he slips my panties past my hips. He runs a hand between my thighs and I moan, the sensation so welcome, making me so wet.
Muffin Compares To You: The Way To A Man’s Heart Page 2
