by B. B. Hamel
Although I wonder if it’s a calling for me. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at it that way. I just wanted to help people, and now… I just can’t see myself doing anything else.
We talk like that for a while. He has one drink and then another, and doesn’t comment on the fact that I’m not drinking with him. The bar is crowded tonight and dark, so I’m not paying too much attention to anybody else around us.
I’m just so focused on him. And I keep trying to work the courage up to tell him about the baby, but I can’t bring myself to say the words.
I’m happy right now. I’m happy sitting here in this bar with him, just talking about our lives, about being a doctor, about everything. I’m happy and I feel like right now, at this point in my life, this feeling is so rare and so fleeting that I can’t waste it. I can’t just throw it away.
So I don’t say anything. I let him talk, and I talk back, and I laugh, and we flirt with each other. And it feels good, so damn good.
He orders a third drink but doesn’t touch it. “Probably shouldn’t,” he says, and looks at me, head cocked slightly. “I probably shouldn’t with you, either. But here I am.”
“Yeah. Here you are.”
He laughs softly and leans toward me. I lean close to him, heart beating fast, and we kiss softly.
His taste floods my mouth and I’m reminded all over again just how good he can feel. It’s intoxicating, incredible, and I don’t want to let it go.
Slowly we break apart. I stare into his eyes… and past them.
Down the bar. Down toward Tracy, sitting there with Michael.
His back is to me and Gavin. I didn’t notice them before, so they must’ve just gotten here.
But she’s staring at me, eyes wide.
“Oh my god,” I whisper.
Gavin frowns. “What?”
“I have to go. I’m sorry.” I stand and quickly walk away as fast as I can.
I pass Michael and Tracy on the way out. Her eyes are wide and she doesn’t say a word. I don’t see Michael but I can feel him staring at me as I pass.
I can barely breathe as I walk down the sidewalk. I shouldn’t have run away like that but I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to protect Gavin from getting caught and I thought maybe if I just left…
But no, Tracy saw. She knows we kissed. And she’ll tell Michael.
Everyone’s going to find out.
We’re screwed. Really, really screwed.
And I never told him about the baby.
10
Gavin
God damn, what a mess.
After Melody stormed out of the bar, I went over to Michael and Tracy and talked to them like the fucking adults they are. They agreed not to say anything, or at least they said they wouldn’t. Who knows what they’ll actually do, but I have to trust them.
The next day, Melody doesn’t show up to work. That’s a pretty big deal in the intern year, and I’m pretty pissed. I don’t say anything to the others about it, although I can tell Michael and Tracy keep throwing each other knowing looks.
After work, Tracy corners me behind an empty nurses’ station as I’m looking for a clipboard with some patient notes I stashed there earlier in the day. She frowns at me, hands on her hips.
“What’d you do to her?” she asks.
I arch an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I mean, you didn’t kill her, right? I’m not going to find her body buried in the woods?”
I can’t help but laugh at that. I didn’t know Tracy was funny.
“No, I didn’t kill her,” I say.
“Then why isn’t she here?”
I hesitate, looking away. “I didn’t tell her what I told you,” I finally admit.
“You didn’t… what?”
I clench my jaw. “This isn’t any of your business, okay?”
“Oh, no, hell no, you’re not getting out of this that easily.”
“I’m serious. I’m your teacher. This is inappropriate.”
“I think appropriate went out the window when I caught you kissing my friend.” Tracy has a little smirk on her lips.
I sigh, finally finding the clipboard I was looking for. I tuck it under my arm and face the angry blonde girl looking like she’s about to attack at any moment.
“Look, I couldn’t say it to her, okay?”
“She thinks her life is over,” Tracy says softly. “And you can’t just tell her the truth?”
I shake my head. “It’s not simple.”
“Obviously. But she won’t be an intern forever and you… you want more, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I grunt. I hate having this conversation. I hate that I put myself in a position where I have to stand here and bear this.
“Tell her you love her,” Tracy says. “She wants to hear it.”
“It’s too soon,” I say.
“So what?”
“So, it’ll freak her out and make this situation even worse.”
Tracy sighs. “Listen, Gavin.” I arch an eyebrow at her for using my first name, but she plows forward anyway. “She’s clearly in love with you too. I can see it every time she looks at you. Just tell her the truth and calm her down, okay?”
“How do I know you’re on my side?” I ask her softly.
“You don’t, I guess. But you’ll have to trust that I’m on Melody’s side and I don’t want to see her get hurt. Michael feels the same way. Your secret’s safe with us so long as you go and tell her the truth.”
I grunt at Tracy but I know she’s right. I hate to admit it, but I have to go talk to Melody.
“Fine,” I say finally. “I’m going. Happy?”
“Very,” Tracy says, giving me a genuine smile. “Nothing better than convincing a man to profess his love.”
I roll my eyes and walk away without another word.
Tracy makes it sound so simple. Just go to Melody and tell her that I’m in love with her, no big deal, it’s not too soon or anything. But it’s the truth and it’s what I told them back at the bar to keep them from blabbing our secret.
Maybe it was about sex at first, but it’s about much more than that now. This thing with Melody stopped being just about sex when I realized that I couldn’t stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried.
I’ve never in my entire life felt like this before. I’ve never wanted a woman as badly as I want Melody and I’ve never wanted one as often as I want Melody. More than that, I think about how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, where she’s going, everything about her. I can’t get her smile from my mind or her taste from my lips. Everything about her drives me wild.
And if that’s not love, well, fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever know what love is.
I leave the hospital, walking slowly. I try calling her first, but she doesn’t pick up. I keep thinking about her, about her lips and hips and tongue and everything, about her smile and her laugh, about being close to her, and my heart beats faster. I’ve never told a woman that I love her before. I’ve never said the words out loud to anyone other than my mother.
And now, for the first time in my life, I want to put myself out there. I want to say the words and see if she feels the same way. I’m going to give her the chance to hurt me, all because you can’t love someone if there’s no chance of getting hurt by them.
I head to Melody’s apartment after a second call goes unanswered. I’m slightly worried about her so I decide to pick up the pace. I stand outside her door, call her again, and finally end up ringing the doorbell over and over.
I know she has to be in there. I ring the bell for nearly ten minutes before the door finally opens a crack.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don’t want to talk to anyone right now?”
I smile with relief. She’s okay, even if she is hiding behind a door right now.
“I need to say something to you.”
She peeks out a little more. Her eyes are a little red and puffy like she’s been crying. She leans aga
inst the chipping wood doorjamb, hair against the blue paint, and she smiles a little bit.
“What do you want, Gavin?”
I stare into her eyes and for the first time in my entire life, I’m completely sure about something.
I know this is right. I know I have to say the words.
But instead, I step forward, pushing the door open, and I kiss her.
She kisses me back, inhaling sharply as she does it. I love her tongue and her hips so much as I push her back into her apartment. I kick the door shut behind us and kiss her hard, tasting those honey lips, that soft tongue. I stumble forward until she runs up against the couch.
I grab her hair tight in one hand and pull her chin back. I kiss her neck and throat, body thrumming with desire. I’m like a string pulled taut and plucked and I feel like this buzz could drive me insane at any moment.
But I don’t care. I just need her, my Melody.
I take her top off without thinking. She takes mine off, unbuttoning the front. I stare into her eyes as she pushes the shirt off my front, hands on my chest.
I kiss her, fist in her hair. She moans into my kiss as I slip my other hand down the front of her yoga pants, searching for that warm pussy. I find her already wet and she moans again as I rub her gently, teasing her lips, gliding my fingers up to push against that perfect little clit.
She groans as I rub her clit, hair in my other hand. I’m so fucking hard that any thought of saying those words leaves my mind entirely, and I’m like an animal trying to get a taste of her. I kiss her neck and slide my fingers deep into her pussy, teasing her by gliding them back out to rub her clit. She groans the whole time before finally unbuttoning my pants, getting my belt off, and yanking them down in a frenzy.
I groan as she pushes me back and drops to her knees. She tugs my boxer briefs off and takes my cock in her hand, looking up with me with big, wide eyes. She sucks my tip hard at first, gliding down to gag before pulling back. Her tongue works around my cock and I groan, grabbing her hair, pushing her back down.
“Fuck, girl,” I growl at her. “Your throat feels so fucking good wrapped around my cock.”
She sucks me faster, head bobbing, tongue working my tip while her hands work my shaft. She sucks cock like she lives for it and it drives me absolutely fucking wild. I growl again, pushing her down deeper.
“You’re so fucking sexy, Melody,” I say to her. “Every inch of you drives me goddamn wild. I can’t keep my hands off you.”
She pulls back and I lift her to her feet. I kiss her and she wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her, cupping her ass in both hands, into her bedroom. I throw her down and rip her yoga pants off, my muscles bulging, unable to control myself.
She gasps as I spread her legs wide and tease her pussy with my tongue. I fuck her with my fingers and lean over her, pinning her to the bed, my tongue in her mouth as I kiss her rough. I fuck her deep with my fingers, teasing her pussy, before dropping back down between her legs.
I lick her clit, tasting her lovely pussy. It drives me wild and my cock’s so fucking hard I can barely stand it. I’m pulsing with her, every beat of my heart a beat closer to feeling her wrapped around my cock, but I don’t stop licking and teasing her wet little cunt. She rolls her hips as I fuck her with my fingers.
“I love when you beg me,” I growl at her as she moans. “I love when you say my name. And I love when you fucking moan.”
She gasps and bites her lip. “You like it, Gavin?” she whispers.
“I love it.” I lean over her, kissing her again. “I love this mouth, this pussy. Fuck, you feel so goddamn good.”
I lean back, opening her legs. I press my cock against her and slide myself deep inside with fucking ease. She’s so soaking wet that her tight cunt practically swallows my cock and I feel like I’m drowning in pleasure between her legs.
“Fucking hell,” I growl in her ear, starting to fuck her slow at first. I lose myself in the moans as I grind my hips against hers, burying my massive cock deep inside her pussy, feeling her absolute limits. I love spreading her wide and fucking her rough and I need it right now, I need it so badly. I need her to know just how much I want her.
I lean back and open her legs up, fucking her hard now. My eyes drink in her milky skin, her perfect breasts bouncing, her lips parted, her pretty tongue licking at them. I growl and fuck her harder, ravishing her, thrusting deep into her depths and groaning the whole time. She’s so goddamn tight that every thrust feels like absolute heaven.
She rolls her hips and I pin her hands above her head, holding her there. I thrust into her tight pussy, pinning her down, lips against her lips, cock moving fast. She groans as I grind into her, thrusting and fucking her, licking her skin as sweat starts to roll down it.
I pull back, growling. “On all fours,” I command. “Show me that ass. Show me that cunt.”
She gets up and turns, ass in the air, her perky little ass. I spank her hard and lick her top to bottom, tasting her ass and pussy, growling the whole time.
I grab her hips and slide myself inside her again. I take her like that, controlling her, dominating her. She takes my big dick deep and rough as I spank her ass hard and pull her hair back, kissing her neck, groaning against her skin.
“Oh, god, Gavin,” she gasps. “Keep going.”
“Goddamn right,” I growl back.
“Gavin,” she moans over and over.
I thrust harder, fucking her rough and deep and unable to control myself. It’s like a new person has taken control and I’m giving myself over to the pleasure. I thrust and slap her ass and grab her hands to pull them behind her back. I fuck her and I’m vicious as I plunge my cock in and out of her tight wet cunt. I’m not holding back as I growl again and grab her hair.
I tease her breasts and fuck her deep. She rolls her hips, pushing back against me. I can feel myself pushing up against that edge but I’m not ready to be done with her yet.
I pull back and drag her over to me. I make her straddle me and I watch as her body shakes. She slides down my cock and throws her hair back, moaning as I fill her nice and deep.
“Fuck, you feel like honey,” I whisper in her ear as she starts to grind her hips. “You feel like fucking treasure. Everything about you drives me fucking wild.”
“I feel the same way,” she moans. “Oh, god. Your cock fills me to the brim and I love it.”
I grab her ass and she rides me faster. I kiss her while she fucks me, sliding up and down my cock. I taste her nipples with my tongue and teeth and I let her back arch as she gets to work. I growl, slapping her ass, but I let her do the work.
Fucking girl is so fucking sexy as she rides my big dick. The way she moves like she was born to writhe on this big cock. I start to thrust up inside of her, grinding against her now, moving with her rhythm. She’s moaning loud, losing it, hair thrown back. Her eyes lock on mine and I know.
She’s fucking close.
She’s going to come.
I slap her ass and fuck her harder. She’s sweating and I love it. I fuck her rough and deep now, pushing her close to that edge. I want to see it, see her come on my big dick. I growl again and grab her hair and fuck her hard and rough and slap her ass and her body tightens. I feel it in her pussy, every muscle in her body tenses and prepares.
She comes in an explosion. My cock’s buried to the hilt deep in her tight, wet little pussy and I groan as she comes hard. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen but I don’t hold back. I fuck her harder, faster, filling her deep and rough and oh, fucking hell, god damn, it feels perfect, like fucking heaven.
I come in an explosion, buried deep in her pussy. We’re both so lost in our orgasms but we don’t stop moving, coming through it, fucking through it.
I think it’s the most intense orgasm of my life. I’ve never felt that before, nothing like that in my entire life. I growl and nuzzle against her neck, not sure what to fucking think as we slowly come down.
She kisses me, a smile on
her lips.
“Hey,” she says.
“Hey,” I say back. I kiss her again and we collapse back onto the bed together.
I twirl her hair in my fingers. We’re quiet for a little while. It’s a comfortable silence and I think we’re both just enjoying the post-orgasm bliss. I can’t bring myself to break the silence, at least not yet.
I listen to the cars pass outside and to her breathing. I feel her body against mine, her tiny, tight body. I’m so much bigger than her and I like that, I like that I could dominate her at any moment. I think she likes it too.
“I missed you today,” I say finally, shattering the spell. I know it isn’t fair. I wish we could live in that moment right after fucking where all that matters is breathing and being together, but I’m here for a fucking reason and I’m not going to wuss out.
“I couldn’t face them,” she says, burying her nose against my shoulder.
“I know.” I stroke her hair and kiss her neck. “But I talked to them and it’s totally fine.”
She pulls back, eyes wide in horror. “You… what?”
“Talked to them,” I say. “After you ran off, I went up to Tracy and Michael and I just talked to them like adults. Turns out, they want you to be happy and they’re cool if we’re… doing this.”
She stares at me, blinking rapidly. “You talked to them. And they’re both… okay with this?”
I shrug. “Yep. Turns out, people are more reasonable than you’d think if you’re just straight up with them.”
“Shit,” she whispers. “You just talked to them.”
“Exactly.” I laugh a little bit.
“I thought they’d be mad or think I was getting special treatment.”
“They didn’t mention that to me,” I say honestly.
“Wow.” She laughs softly, the relief obvious in her tone. “I could’ve just… talked to them.”
“That’s what I’m saying.” I sit up on one elbow and stare into her eyes. “Listen, Melody, I need to tell you something.”
She frowns and sits up suddenly. “I need to tell you something, too.”
