by Dawn Doyle
“Sure.”
“You and your friends all wear a black cuff, does it represent something?”
I stilled, my spine becoming rigid and my muscles bunching up. Nobody had asked that before. “We’re friends,” I bit out. “It’s just a thing.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” she said quietly, then pulled her legs in and sat forward, hugging her knees close to her chest—a move I recognized as defensive.
“Look, I never meant to snap, and I’m sorry. It’s just… Fuck, it’s between them and me, okay? It’s not something we share.” That was partly true, but it was for me that they did it, to show their support—something I appreciated every fucking day.
“Oh, so it’s like a secret handshake kind of thing? Solidarity in your circle?”
I chuckled, liking her interpretation. “You could say that, yeah.” I gestured to where she’d hidden her book. “So, your notes… I take it you’re writing a story?” I smiled again when she blushed adorably. What wasn’t so adorable was the fact I wanted to reach out and touch her, to sink my fingers in to her hair and kiss her like I’d said I would. But, from the way she was curling into herself, that wouldn’t be such a great idea, and as much as people thought I was an asshole, and I mostly was, I wouldn’t do that to her. Shay nodded, but didn’t say anything. “What do you like about it?”
Her head whipped to me. “Why are you so interested in what I do and what it’s about?” she snapped. “You’re cold to me, then sweet, then cold, then”—she waved her hand between us—“you’re like this. You give me whiplash, Eastyn. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I wish to be no part of whatever joke you’re trying to pull.”
“What the fuck?” I asked. “Hey, I’m not trying to do anything.” I stared at her. Stared so hard that my lids stung from not blinking. I lifted my hands and reached for her face.
“What are you doing?” she whispered as I held the arms of her shades. “Eastyn.” Her tone was a warning, but I didn’t stop.
I removed her sunglasses, and paused when I saw the redness of her eyes. “Who upset you?” I ground out, anger digging around inside me as though trying to find a way out, to be unleashed and right whatever wrong had been done.
“Nobody,” Shay replied, grabbing the shades from my hands and lifting them, but I darted my hand out to stop her. “What the hell?”
“I’m not fucking around, Shay. I asked you about your stuff because I wanted to know.” I gripped the frames, gently pulling them out of her hands. I took mine off too, letting her see I wasn’t full of shit. “Now, who the fuck upset you?”
“Myself!” she whisper shouted. “I upset me, Eastyn, okay? And the back and forth with your behavior isn’t helping me right now.” Tears filled her lower lids and she looked away, swiping at her face.
My chest ached when I heard her sharp intake of breath as though she was stifling a sob, the sound so fucking familiar it made my hands ball into fists. “Tell me the truth, Shay,” I demanded.
“What do you want from me?” she asked, her head down but her eyes looking sideways at me.
What did I want? I’d asked myself that question over and over again, and I had only one answer. Her.
“Nothing you don’t want to give, and everything that you do.”
Her brows dipped and her eyes narrowed. “What?”
I grabbed the peak of my cap and spun it to the back of my head again, exposing my face, and Shay followed the movement. “You fucking heard me, Shay, I’m not saying it again.” I saw the racing pulse in her neck, the point throbbing faster and faster. “You don’t trust me—I get it. If I were in your position, I wouldn’t either. You don’t know anything about me that would make you think otherwise.”
“I don’t trust anybody, remember? So, don’t take it personally,” she said, making me wonder what the fuck happened for her to be that way. “I’ve had nice words said to me before, people wanting to be close to me and be my friend, but it was all bullshit. So, please, don’t take offense that I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth, and you shouldn’t, either.” Shay snatched her shades out of my hand, stood, then grabbed her bag and shoved her things inside before walking away from me.
“I’m not bullshitting you!” I called after her.
She stopped and looked over her shoulder at me. “Your actions prove otherwise. Don’t toy with me, Eastyn. I’ve had enough to last me a lifetime.”
Then she was gone, and although I wanted to go after her, I knew I should let her go or risk making things worse. I’d already said more than I was comfortable admitting, but now it was out in the open, there was no fucking way I would take it back.
I’d told Shay how I wanted her even though I hadn’t intended to, and now I had to make her believe it.
Chapter 7
Shay
Break was almost over, and my parents hadn’t returned any of my calls or texts until the day I’d decided to head to the beach. The phone screen proved what I’d already known to be true, and the reason I’d been so damn upset. A message from my mom, her words twisting a knife inside me once again. I sent a quick text in reply, and that was it. The usual apologies and promises to make it up to me; to make time so we could discuss what I’d been worried about telling them for so long.
Then Eastyn had appeared, yet again, and had me feeling things I didn’t want to right then.
I couldn’t believe what he’d said, and although in my head I wanted to—I wanted to believe the quiet and mysterious Eastyn Woodman wanted me—but it was ridiculous. I’d barely slept, wondering if anybody had put him up to it, a sick way of making me drop my guard, but from what he’d done at the pizzeria… Hell, I didn’t know what to think.
“What the hell am I doing?” I groaned, and attempted to rub away the growing headache that was forming in my temples, the dull throb radiating outward and resting behind my eyes. The sky was thick with gray clouds, the pressure of the impending rain storm only adding to the ache.
I gripped the door handle, ready to push, when his voice entered my mind.
‘Nothing you don’t want to give, and everything that you do.’
He was messing with my head, surely. I didn’t want to give anything; he knew that. So what was the point of saying it?
Because you do.
I sighed, giving in to the admission that I did want to give, but I’d forgotten how to do that without wondering if there was some ulterior motive. It was making me ill from the constant worry that people were out to use me, and my reaction was always the same—push.
Seeing Eastyn at the beach, his long white shorts showing off his tan legs, his pale-blue T-shirt hugging his tight torso and his tattoos slightly visible above the neckline, and those arms of his… God, I wanted to grab them and study the designs inked into his skin, run my fingers over him and trace the intricate patterns. There were smaller images hidden inside that I couldn’t make out, but was close enough to spot them. I wanted to get lost in his eyes, his arms, his kiss while running my hands through his hair… I was beginning to sound like the scenes I’d written, the ones I’d longed for to be my life, the ones where the other person lived for you, breathed for you, loved you like you were the most important thing in the world to them.
The sickening part was, those scenes had been written with Eastyn on my mind, and reading them back, it was obvious how my subconscious screamed out that I wanted him.
“Just go, Shay,” I told myself, then pushed open the door, getting out into the light rainfall.
*****
I’d been walking around campus for thirty minutes, taking my time in hoping he’d show up, but there was no sign of Eastyn. He was around somewhere; his car was in the lot, but no matter where I went, he wasn’t to be found. The rain was coming down heavier, reducing visibility, the drops bouncing off the pavement where it could reach. I’d made the stupid mistake of trying to leave, only to be turned around by the sudden torrential downpour.
“This is r
idiculous.” I shook my head, my wet hair sending drops flying about, and walked through the barely covered walkway, cursing myself for forgetting my umbrella. My shirt was white and had stuck to my body the second I’d tried to make a run for my car. I grabbed the front, pulling it away to hide my bra underneath that was definitely on show. “I’m soaking wet.” I looked over at the exit where I wasn’t heading anytime soon. A flash of light, followed by a rumble in the distance lit up the dull late afternoon sky.
“That sounds like a good thing.”
I screamed and spun around, my eyes landing on the hard chest of the guy I’d been looking for. “Where the hell did you come from?” I asked, my hand on my chest as I tried to calm my pounding heart.
Eastyn leaned against the stone pillar next to him, one of the many decorating the walkway, and shrugged. “Around, why?”
I opened my mouth to say something, but my ability to talk was taken away when he lifted a piece of gum to his mouth, placed it between his teeth, then pulled it inside with his tongue. As his jaw worked, a smile tugged at his lips as his gaze dropped down. “Oh, um, I didn’t know you were here.”
His smile widened. “My car’s in the lot. Where else would I be?” He crossed his ankle over his other foot and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets. “Why’s your dorm all locked up?”
I tried not to stare at his mouth, the talented lips that I’d kissed a few weeks ago, so I lowered my eyes but that was so much worse. His black T-shirt stretched across his chest, and the small V-neck showed some of the ink there. “Yeah.” The word slipped slowly out of my mouth, the single word hitting my ears and snapping me back to attention. “I moved out.”
Eastyn straightened quickly. “Moved out?” he asked, his tone almost angry. “Why?”
“I had my reasons,” I replied. “But that’s not why I came here to see you.”
One of his dark brows arched. “You came to see me?”
Oh, hell! Think, Shay, think!
“I was having a bad day the other day, and I never meant my words to sound as harsh as they did. I came to apologize for anything that might have hurt your feelings—that wasn’t my intention.” And I also wanted to know if what he’d said to me was true in any way. I’d stayed up most of the night fantasizing what it would be like to give even just a piece of myself to him, to lower my guard for just a short while and not have to worry if I was being taken advantage of again.
He took a step toward me and I held my breath. He dipped to meet my eyes. “You didn’t, Shay,” he said, his fresh, minty breath blowing lightly across my face. “Now, are you gonna tell me what got you so upset?” His eyes dropped down, then came right back up.
I shook my head. “You don’t have to concern yourself with my emotional well-being.”
Warm hands cupped my face, holding me still so I couldn’t look away, even though heat was crawling its way up my neck to my face as Eastyn stared at me. His eyes were mesmerizing, the depths holding so much inside but keeping everything locked down. The stiffness in my spine began to release the longer he held me, the power of his gaze proving no match for my outer shell.
It cracked the second he spoke again. “What if I want to?” he asked, his low tone sending shivers down my spine.
“You don’t mean that,” I whispered. His eyes dropped to my mouth, then back up, and for the first time since he’d promised, I thought he was going to keep his word and kiss me.
“Actually, I do.” He inched closer to me. “I keep my promises, Shay, I just wait until the time’s right.” He licked his lips, his hands still cradling my face. There was another bright flash, then a booming sound right away, and Eastyn’s hands dropped. “The storm’s right over us. You’ll be dripping before you make it to your car.” His eyes sparkled and his lips quirked, sending a flood of heat to my core. He looked around, and then grabbed my hand, his large palm gripping mine. His touch sent ripples up my arm, the sensations causing me to grip tightly. “Do you trust me, Shay?”
Like an idiot, I nodded like a bobble head. “Yeah.”
The way he smiled was as though he was relieved of my answer. “Good, because I’m taking you to my dorm.”
The sounds of another clap of thunder drowned out my voice as I screeched, “What?”
He pulled me closer, slinging his arm over my shoulder as though protecting me, and I felt exactly that, like I was safe with him.
Don’t get your hopes up, Shay, you know how these things work out.
Eastyn
There wasn’t a time I was more grateful for the rain than I was right then.
We reached my dorm building, water dripping from us, and I yanked the door open to get us inside.
“Oh my god, how long’s this going to last?” Shay asked, but it wasn’t aimed at me. Her eyes were fixed on the blackening sky and the developing puddles outside.
As long as possible.
She shook out her hands, her arms away from her body, giving me a good look at the pink fabric her wet shirt was clinging to, and her hard nipples poking through the front, making my mouth water.
I cleared my throat. “Come on, I’ll get you some dry clothes.” I gestured toward the stairs and walked ahead of her, leading her up two flights and through a set of doors.
When Shay walked by me to step inside, her perfume wafted around me, not washed away by the rain. My cock twitched and my eyes closed for a second. I closed the door, and she stiffened when I locked it.
“I never leave my door unlocked, even when I’m here,” I explained.
“Oh, um, that’s fine,” she said, her voice trembling.
“Are you sure?” I asked when she shivered. “You don’t seem fine.” Fuck, I knew it looked bad that I’d locked her in, but I had to.
“I’m just a little cold, I guess,” she said quickly, wrapping her arms around herself.
I walked over to my dresser at the end of my bed and opened the drawer, pulling out a pair of navy sweats, and a gray T-shirt from the top. “Here.” I handed them over and pointed to the door to the left of me. “Shower’s through there if you want to use it.”
Shay smiled, the tiniest curl of her lips making it harder for me not to reach out to her. “Thank you,” she said, then disappeared into the bathroom. The water turned on less than a minute later.
“Fuck.” I ran my hands down my face, trying to understand what the fuck I was going to do now that I had her in my dorm. No woman had been here, not a single one. Any time I needed something more than jerking off, it was off campus, no students from this college, and nobody I would likely see again. And that’s just the way I liked it.
I turned on the lamp on my nightstand, illuminating the darkening room the thick storm clouds had created. It’d be pitch black soon, and I didn’t do well in dark enclosed spaces.
I grabbed some clean clothes for myself, and then pulled my phone out of my pocket, seeing I had a message from Max.
‘Get ready to party hard, Beast, we’re coming home soon!’
I fired off a quick reply, chuckling as I did.
‘By party, do you mean staying in your dorm to recover from break?’
‘Haha, a little bit. Stampede when we get back, dude. I’m gonna roll in at six on Sunday, so get your ass ready by seven.’
I glanced at the bathroom door when the water shut off, the thought of Shay getting out of the shower, naked, making me hard as a fucking rock. “Shit.” I grabbed my clothes and held them close while I tapped out a message with one hand.
‘Sure. See you soon.’
I almost dropped my fucking phone when the door opened. Shay’s skin was glowing pink, her cheeks rosy from the hot water and her dark hair loose just like when I went to her dorm. I couldn’t help but take in the sight of her standing there in my clothes, my T-shirt almost to her knees, and my sweats rolled up at the ankles. God, she was so fucking sexy, and the caveman in me liked her in my things, a possessive side coming out and desperate to claim what I wanted.
Yeah, t
hat won’t go down so well.
“I’m sorry, did I take too long?” she asked.
I tried to hide my reaction to her, but all I could do was shake my fucking head with my jaw clamped shut, terrified to say a damn word in case the gorgeous woman disappeared.
I walked around her, holding back a groan because I could smell my products on her, like another part of me had marked her.
Damn it, I was losing my control more and more, and it wouldn’t be long until I broke.
But no matter how much it fucking hurt to do it, I had to wait a little longer. I had to get Shay to trust me more than just being alone with me.
Shay
I placed my wet clothes down on top of my purse and walked over to the large black sofa to the right of the dorm door. The fabric was soft, not what I expected, and as I sat down, I closed my eyes when I sank into the deep cushion that cradled me with its comfort.
I looked down at Eastyn’s clothing, my fingers skimming the fabric that swamped my body, lifting the neck of the T-shirt and breathing in the scent coming from it.
God, this smells good.
My hair, my skin… I smelled a lot like him, but there was one thing missing that made it a delicious mix, and that was him. A unique spice that was his signature fragrance and every time he came close to me, I wanted to lean in and inhale him.
My heart was thrumming hard in my chest, and as I took in the room, it beat harder still. Where I was sitting, a huge bed was in front of me. With Eastyn’s height and size, he needed it, but as I studied the tidy, dark-gray covers, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to slip under the plain duvet and rest my head on the matching pillows, with him right beside me.
