by Dawn Doyle
I hadn’t been touched in a long time, and just thinking about scenes for my story, my mind wandered to Eastyn. I wondered how it would feel to be taken by him, his hands working over me and doing things to me that would leave me panting, wanting more but unable to get the words out because his mouth had taken away my breath.
I sighed long and hard. “Damn, I bet he could throw me around like a rag doll,” I whispered. I pulled my lips into my mouth and giggled, my filthy thoughts of him growing dirtier the more I imagined him claiming my body.
“Hi, Shay,” a quiet voice said, and I turned to see Lara beside me. Her smile was tight and her eyes wide with caution. “Can I sit?” She gestured to the spot next to me on the bench where Eastyn and I had sat together.
“It’s a free country,” I replied, turning to a blank page in my notebook. She was quiet, but from the corner of my eye, I could see her fidgeting as she sat.
Finally she took a deep breath and turned to face me. “Look, I’m sorry, Shay, okay? What the girls said, what I said, there was no excuse.”
“No, there wasn’t,” I replied, not looking at her.
“But I never meant anything I said to sound so harsh, you have to believe me.”
I lifted my head toward her. “I do? Why’s that?” I cocked a brow. “It sure sounded cruel and unnecessary. Now Elise, I believe she meant every word she said, but you, Lara, you hurt me the most.” Right then, she reminded me of Jayne, my old best friend from high school, and the pain stabbed at me from inside, cutting in to my heart all over again.
Her lips tightened to a thin line and her lids reddened as they filled. “I admit, what I said was how I felt at the beginning of junior year,” she said, her voice slightly trembling. “But it’s not how I feel now, Shay.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away. “Sure, Lara. What’s the matter, does your room need cleaning? Nobody to gossip to about your friends behind their backs?” Yeah, she’d done a lot of that, and I’d dismissed it as her releasing her frustrations instead of harboring them inside. I was her ear when she couldn’t talk to anybody else because she knew I wouldn’t repeat a damn word of it.
“Shay, that’s not fair,” she choked, a single tear running down her face. “I took you for granted, I know, and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. I guess it took for you to leave for me to realize that.”
I stared at her long and hard. Her lids twitched, the left side of her mouth ticked, and the look in her eyes was firm. “Who moved in?”
Lara gasped as though I’d just slapped her. “What?”
“Come on, Lara,” I said, shaking my head. “Somebody’s moved into your dorm, you’re not exactly pleased about it, and now you want me to come back to give you an excuse to ask them to leave. So, I’ll ask again. Who is it?”
Lara swiped angrily at her face. “I’m trying to make up for being a bitch,” she snapped. “But if you must know, Elise has been staying.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped my mouth. I slapped my hand over it, but it didn’t do anything to halt my chuckles. “Oh, that’s just perfect,” I snorted.
“Please, Shay, she’s too hard to live with. At first, she only offered to stay for a few nights because I was upset at you leaving, and now she plans on transferring. The first week isn’t over yet, and I can’t deal with her any longer. She’s so…”
“Difficult?” I finished for her, yet again, throwing what she said about me back at her.
Lara dropped her head and nodded. “I don’t know what it is with her. She’s usually not that bad, especially when the other girls are in the room, but alone with me… She’s just awful. Nobody is safe from her sly comments, not even Tammy. They’re supposed to be best friends.” She looked down at her hands while she picked at her nails. “It makes me wonder what she says about me when I’m not there.”
“I know the feeling well,” I stated. I knew it more than she did because where Lara would only wonder, I knew Elise was bitching about me for sure.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I do want you to come back, Shay. I miss you.”
“Well,” I said, then swallowed the small lump in my throat. “I couldn’t help you even if I wanted to.” I grabbed my notebook and put it into my bag. I looked up as a dark figure approached, making my heart skip happily in my chest. “I signed a contract until the end of the year.” I stood and slung my strap over my shoulder as Eastyn stopped in front of me, looking fine in his jeans and black long-sleeved tee. There was an air of danger about him, and although I should’ve been wary, it excited me.
“Shay?” he asked, looking between us, his usual scowl deepening when he stared at Lara.
“I’m good,” I said, then turned back to Lara. “I gotta go.” I walked beside Eastyn as we left Lara sitting alone on the bench.
When we were further away, he spoke. “What did she want?”
I took a long breath and told him what Lara had said to me. “I do feel bad for her, even if only a little.”
“Don’t,” he said, then reached down to take my hand. His warm palm enveloped mine, his touch sending tiny shocks up my arm. “She made her bed, and now she can lie in it. Never feel sorry for somebody getting what they deserve.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” I tilted my head back, expecting to see him smiling, but what I saw sent a cold rush running down my spine. Eastyn’s jaw was tight, his fiery stare burning ahead, and his nostrils flared as though what I’d said had twisted him inside. The danger surrounding him had changed to unmitigated terror. “Eastyn?”
He blinked a few times, then gave me a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I am speaking from experience, Shay. Don’t feel sorry for her.” His hand tightened around mine as though he could sense what I’d seen in him.
There was so much I wanted to ask, but as I watched his closed-off expression, I knew that it wasn’t the right time. Whatever Eastyn had gone through, if he wanted to tell me, he would do so when he was ready.
I had my own issues tucked away inside of me, but spending time with him had made me realize that I wanted to let them go—I had to. So, if he wanted to do the same, I was willing to listen.
“Do you have anything planned for the rest of your day?” I asked, our conversation on the green coming back to me, and Eastyn’s thumb ran over the back of my hand in a gentle stroke. “Do you want to get out of here?”
He looked down at me then, his gaze softening. “Definitely.”
I guided him toward the parking lot, and we walked in silence until we reached my car. “Wanna see where I live now?” I asked.
Eastyn stopped next to the passenger door and lifted just his eyes to mine, his gaze darkening as he looked right into me, then smirked. “Taking me back to your place?” His tone was low, rough, and dripping with sexiness. I gently bit my lower lip with my teeth, and his expression dropped as he followed the movement. My face blazed as he slowly raised his gaze to mine. “You trust me to tell me where you live?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” I wasn’t afraid of him; he’d given me no reason to be. I was more afraid of myself and how he made me feel.
“How do you know I won’t just show up in the future? It’s not like you’d have an RA to keep tabs on you.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, his head titling to the side.
I smiled, then threw his response back at him. “Definitely.”
*****
“Do you like spending time alone?” Eastyn asked, scanning around my tiny studio apartment after I closed the door.
The ten-minute car ride had been mostly silent. He’d seemed lost in his thoughts, and when he would take a short breath, I waited in anticipation of what he would say. But, instead of talking, he would just breathe out slowly as though the words couldn’t make it out of his mouth. His question wasn’t what I expected.
“Uh, I’m kinda used to it,” I replied as I turned to loc
k the door. It was my own doing to begin with and, over time, it had become the norm. “Do you?”
He walked over to toward the window—over the space where I had yet to put a sofa—and stared out, looking down on pedestrians and passing cars. “Yeah,” he said, his voice quiet as though thinking about it. “But sometimes, alone isn’t what’s best for me.”
I placed my bag on the round table with a thud. “Is that why you’re here with me?” I asked, my insecurities coming to the surface and grinning at me, telling me that’s all I was good for—to be someone’s company when they were lonely or needed something from me. “You can’t be alone right now?”
Eastyn’s green irises penetrated mine, staring right through me. His jaw muscles ticked, his hard expressions causing my defenses to build again. “I should be,” he said flatly. “But I don’t want to be.” He walked over and stopped in front of me, then took my hand, and chunks of the wall that I’d built around myself crumbled away as he wrapped his fingers around mine. He swallowed hard and his expression relaxed. “Not unless it’s with you.” He lifted my hand and rested it against his chest.
“Eastyn,” I whispered. Different emotions flickered in his eyes, like a war was going on inside of him, fighting to get out, trapped by his tough exterior that refused to let it escape.
“I don’t know what it is, but when I’m with you…” He frowned, his brows dipping low as though it hurt him to think about it. “The fucked up shit in my head goes away for a while.”
I closed the gap between us, lifting my other hand to press it against the scar on his chin. “Is it gone now?” When he nodded, I raised up onto my toes and pressed my lips to his cheek. “How about now?”
His lips curled in the corners the tiniest bit. “Shay, are you trying to distract me?” he asked, his voice husky and low.
“Is it working?” I asked, brushing my lips under his jaw. The truth was, I was distracting us both.
He gripped the top of my hips and yanked me into him, crushing me against his solid torso. “I think so, but I can’t be sure.” A bulge pressed against my stomach, growing harder by the second. “Maybe you should keep going, just to be certain?”
Heat gathered between my legs and radiated out through my body. I was burning under his hooded gaze, my nipples pinching tight as he held me close, his grip on me tightening.
I let my hand slide down over his shoulder, feeling the round muscle under my palm. I continued to his chest, his pec tensing as I stroked lightly with the tips of my fingers, letting my nails graze over him just enough so he would feel it under his T-shirt.
A deep rumble vibrated from his throat as I worked my hand down toward his stomach, and the sound caused my insides to spiral, turning over and over while every inch of my skin prickled.
Eastyn’s hands loosened, and he slid them around to cup my ass, pulling me further into him. My core was ready to ignite at the thought of him letting them wander, exploring me, and me giving in to what I wanted. He dipped his head toward mine. Close, but not enough.
“Do you feel better?” I whispered, my mouth hovering over his. I stroked further, holding back a moan as I traced the contracted ridges of his stomach until my fingers reached the hem of his shirt. I tucked my tips inside, skimming over his hot skin. I pressed my palm against him and brought my other hand down to join in, caressing his body and guiding the black fabric upward.
“So much fucking better,” he growled.
I took his mouth, parting my lips and sucking on his, drawing the fullness of the lower part inside and gently biting down before soothing the area with my tongue. Eastyn groaned, his eyes closed, and his fingers dug into me as I kissed him. He tilted his head and closed his lips around mine, tasting me, his tongue delving into my mouth and whirling with mine. His arm banded around me, his other working up until he reached my hair, tugging back to give him better access to my searing flesh. My scalp prickled as he dragged his hand through my loose tresses, tangling his fingers until his fist was balled up and full.
Our passionate kiss continued while I let my hands wander up, my mind painting a picture of the sculpted planes beneath my palms, my fingers drawing the detailed images with precision. My core tightened, my arousal increasing more and more as I feasted on his lips, his hips pressed against me, and my breasts aching.
I snatched my hands back and pulled away slightly, seeing his kiss-swollen mouth glistening. Without saying a word, I reached for the top button of my light-blue sweater, popping it open while Eastyn watched as the swells of my breasts became exposed.
His hand slipped from my hair while his hunger-filled gaze remained fixed on my chest, waiting, anticipating the moment I would peel back the thin layer of material that covered me. He licked his lips as I worked my way down, the fabric of my white bra greeting him when I opened the fifth and final button, then peeled back the sides and slipped my arms out of the short sleeves.
“Jesus,” he muttered, his eyes widening.
I didn’t give him a chance to touch me, I wanted to see him, too. I gripped the hem of his long-sleeved tee and lifted it, higher and higher until he raised his arms and helped me take it from him.
I took a sharp breath, mesmerized by his body, his art, his entire frame sculpted by hours upon hours of hard work and focus.
“Shay,” he said, a warning lacing his tone when I looked closer, noticing marks that had been covered by the ink, jagged lines and healed wounds that I’d thought were more images, hidden under the soft roses and razor-sharp thorns. My eyes fell to the black cuff on his wrist, wondering what that piece of black leather-style material was covering.
He hooked his finger under my chin and tilted my head up until I looked away. Pain flashed through his face, and my heart broke for him when his lips drew into a tight line.
“You’re amazing,” I said softly, placing my hands on him.
“You won’t think that if you look too close, Shay,” he replied, resting his forehead against mine. “The wounds might be healed, but the scars can only be covered so much.”
“Sh.” I pressed my finger against his lips. “Don’t think, Eastyn,” I said, taking his hands. “Just feel.” I brought them up to rest on my chest, guiding him to cup my full breasts, my breath hitching in my throat as he gently squeezed, lifting them and caressing. My eyes fluttered when he ran his thumbs over my tight peaks, the buds protruding from the material as though calling out to him.
I unhooked it at the back and let the straps fall down my arms, and Eastyn pulled it off the rest of the way.
“Fuck,” he groaned before dropping down, pushing my breasts together and closing his mouth around my left nipple, the warmth of his tongue against my sensitive tip sending shockwaves down to my pussy, my walls contracting with need for him.
He released me with a pop and moved to the other side, driving me insane with pleasure, my head falling back as he held me close and buried his face into my chest, kissing over my mounds and flicking his tongue along my cleavage.
He lifted his head to kiss me, my desire growing almost out of control.
I stepped back, my hands working quickly over his belt buckle, desperate to see more—to feel more. Once I had his button open and zipper pulled down, I held onto his waistband and walk backward to my bed, our shoes getting lost on the way.
Eastyn let me lead him, our wordless exchange hanging in the air, but completely understood as though what we wanted had been yelled into the silence. I kneeled on the purple covers, still retreating until Eastyn was above me, his hands either side of my shoulders as I lay my head on the pillow.
“Cute toy,” he purred, a mischievous look glinting in his jade eyes.“But I think it needs to go for now.”
I reached out to shove my panda off the bed, and it hit the wooden floor with a gentle thud. “Off,” I whispered, hooking my fingers into his jeans and the waistband of his underwear, showing him what I wanted.
He dug in to his pocket first, and threw a black rectangular wallet on t
he bed, then shucked his clothes off. His fingers worked painfully slow as he peeled my white ripped skinnies down my legs, taking my panties with them, and peppering my thighs with tiny kisses as he went.
My core throbbed, and warmth gathered between my legs, my folds becoming slick with my arousal. And when Eastyn’s hand smoothed up my outer thigh, my back arched and I moaned, his simple touch causing my muscles to tighten all over.
“Hey,” he said, his face inches from mine, then kissed me softly, his lips saying so much more than his words could right then, his tongue telling me what he needed, the pace increasing as I bent my legs and pressed them either side of his hips.
Eastyn took my breast in his hand and broke our kiss, only to slide his tongue around my nipple before sucking it into his mouth.
My mouth fell open and my eyes rolled back as he continued playing with me, licking, sucking, kneading, and when his hand left my breast and tickled a path over my stomach, I held my breath when he reached my short curls.
“Fuck me, Shay,” he groaned when a finger slid through my folds toward my entrance. “God, you’re sexy as fuck.”
“Eastyn… Oh!” I cried out as his long finger slipped inside of me, my pussy immediately clamping down around it. “Yes!” I gasped when he slowly drew in and out, causing my pulse to race as it chased the sensations hammering through me. My tight walls relaxed enough for him to add another finger, and the fullness I felt had my hips rocking against him.
“Jesus Christ, Shay,” he ground out.
“I need you, Eastyn,” I panted. “Now.”
The moment the words left my lips, Eastyn reached for his wallet, and tore through a foil packet I didn’t even see him remove.
“Ready?” He searched my face, his eyes looking into mine as he brushed my hair back.
“Yes. God, yes,” I breathed.
His eyes closed at the same time his tip probed my entrance, the large head pushing inside me. A slight sting caused me to wince as I adjusted to his size, and I bit down on my lower lip as he filled me.
