“The name’s Skeeve,” I said, “and if anyone’s doing the sullying, it’s you. We’re here to do a job. Two jobs. She’s trying to help, and you don’t pay attention to anything anyone says, especially her!”
“It’s like you don’t want to succeed,” Aahz said. “If you want to die gloriously, you can do it other places, without inconveniencing a lot of innocent people.”
“I will succeed here despite what you say, Pervert!” Havago said.
Aahz snarled. “That’s PerVECT, and what’s your problem? Why do you want to be a hero so badly? They end up dead more often than not. This goes way beyond common sense. Throwing yourself into the path of a monster that can melt metal isn’t heroism, it’s suicide.”
Havago sat down on the nearest chunk of broken wall and let out a huge sigh. He glanced up at Gazinda, then turned his eyes away before she noticed.
“She is my problem, good Pervect. She is the most perfect Titan who ever lived. I want to live up to the image of the hero that she thinks I am. Every time I try to speak her name, my throat closes up. I can barely even think of her without my heart pounding as if it would leap out of my chest and fling itself at her feet.”
“Yuck,” I said.
My eyes met Aahz’s. He grinned, and I couldn’t help but let a smile spread across my face. All my resentment for Havago dried up. He was in love. Even the smartest people in the world lost their minds when they were in love.
The Titan turned up his hands in a helpless gesture. “All I want to do is perform great deeds so she will think I am worthy of her.”
“That’s sweet,” Aahz said. “But she’s going to think you’re a total loser if you keep letting the Doodlebug wreck everything here.”
“Then what should I do?”
“I’ve got a plan,” Aahz said. “We surround it, herd it into the nearest closed room, then blast it back to Boozen. It’ll take all of us to get it confined, but after that we shouldn’t have any trouble with it. It might even go dormant.”
Havago straightened up, indignant. “But what about my reputation? I need to be seen as the one who defended Grizzle! For her.”
“We’ll give you all the credit,” I said. “You don’t have to mention us at all.”
With a patronizing smile, Havago threw his massive arms around our shoulders. “I will do better than that. I will give you a shout-out. After all, you will have assisted me a bit in my great effort.” He strode back to his workbench and bent over the grinding wheel.
“I still don’t like him,” Aahz said, shaking his head, “but I understand him.”
“The last major building still standing is the primary school,” Tedina said. “You can use the kindergarten room.”
“Will that be strong enough to contain a monster like the Doodlebug?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? It’s strong enough to hold thirty five-year-olds!”
“That’ll do,” Aahz said. “Get everyone off the street but the grizzhounds. I want them to help us herd the Doodlebug inside.”
Markie and I topped up our magik from the red force line for the illusions that I planned for us to cast.
“That’s one sluggish source,” Markie said, dusting her little hands together. Tedina looked embarrassed.
“We don’t have a lot of magik in Grizzle. That’s one of the reasons people never visit us. No sights to see worth mentioning. No attractions. No hot spots or night clubs. We’re just a stop on the way to somewhere else.” She chuckled ruefully. “The Doodlebug is the biggest thing that has happened to us in ages.”
Havago stood in the middle of the street, the sword held high in his hand as if he was posing for a Shutterbug. Beside me, Gazinda sighed. Havago carefully did not meet her eyes. It was ridiculous. Each of them was in love with the other, but neither of them could say so. If we weren’t about to get attacked by a monster that could make buildings explode, I would have thought it was funny.
“I feel like a gunslinger waiting for high noon,” Aahz said. I frowned.
“Why would you sling a gun at something?” I asked. “Isn’t the idea to shoot it?”
“I… never mind,” Aahz said. He pointed up the street. “Here it comes! Get those spells working!”
Sections of the blue monster trundled out of different pieces of wrecked architecture and assembled in a line. Once I counted twelve segments, that was my cue. I pictured the illusion I wanted in my mind, and cast it around the Doodlebug. I couldn’t see the spell I cast, but the gasps from Tedina and Gazinda, it must have been effective.
“Giant Doodlebugs!” the Grizzly mayor exclaimed. “Where did those come from?”
“A little illusion of mine,” Aahz said, buffing his claws on the breast of his jumpsuit. “We want it to feel threatened and start looking for shelter.”
It began running around in circles. Everywhere it went, though, grizzhounds disguised as bigger and meaner Doodlebugs met it. They chased it, baying, down the street toward us.
Markie and I kept the illusions closing in on the Doodlebug, steering it out of alleyways and . The only place it could run to was into the primary school, and the kindergarten room. As soon as it hurtled through the door, Havago dashed after it.
“On to glory!” he bellowed.
The rest of us followed him.
Within the kindergarten, the Doodlebug raced around in a frantic fit. The room was too small for it to break apart into sections, so it recoiled when Havago charged it. To my horror, it coiled into a small spiral, and whimpered.
“Oh, no!” Gazinda said. “It’s scared!”
“Stand back, woman!” Havago shouted. “You are in terrible danger!”
“From this?” The Titan female moved forward with her hand outstretched. Several of the Doodlebug sections put their elongated noses into her palm. “It’s not dangerous.”
Aahz, Markie, and I looked at each other.
“It’s not wild,” I said. “I bet those BEASTA people stole a pet, or a zoo animal, and left it here to cause trouble. It’s setting fires and causing havoc because it wants to go home, but no one can understand it.”
“Oh, we’ll find your home,” Gazinda cooed, petting as many of the noses as she could reach. The Doodlebug cooed back. It shifted its coils until it surrounded her in a massive circle of blue and stared at her with the same adoring gaze as Havago.
Pounding came at the door. We all jumped, and the Doodlebug hissed.
“Have you killed it yet?” Tedina shouted. Gazinda’s eyes went wide.
“You can’t kill it! It’s innocent.”
“The beast is harmless!” Havago shouted back. “We will not kill it!”
That wasn’t a good enough answer for the Grizzlies. As we watched in horror, the door splintered, and a crowd of angry townsfolk poured over the threshold.
“Get out of the way, Havago,” Tedina said, baring her teeth.
“I will not,” he said. “This creature was brought here against its will. Stay back! It is harmless.”
“Harmless?” a plump Grizzly holding a hay fork growled. “It burned down my store!”
A dignified Grizzly with silver fur exclaimed, “The high school blew up! And right before final exams!
“Our Grizzle diorama is in pieces! Now what will we use to attract tourists?”
“Now, come on, everyone,” I said, trying to be reasonable. A rock came flying toward me. I fielded it easily with a thread of magik, but it was the beginning of an onslaught by the angry villagers. All of them fought to get past the Titan with their makeshift weapons.
“Havago, stop them!” Gazinda insisted.
“As my lady insists!” Havago flipped his sword into the air until it came down pommel first. He brought it down on the wrist of the first attacker, then skillfully knocked the next Grizzly into the three coming up behind. He spun, pushing the next Grizzly with a kick to the midsection that made it sit down with an “oof!” I was dumbfounded, but Aahz watched him with a critical eye.
“Dam
n, he’s good!” Aahz said. “Maybe he deserves the reputation he’s trying to promote.”
“Aren’t you going to help him?” I asked, as another half dozen Grizzlies joined the fray.
“Naw, I’m going to enjoy the show. I’m just sorry I didn’t bring any popcorn.” Aahz leaned against the wall with his arms folded, a big grin on his face. “He’s that good. If he wasn’t such a jerk, he could go down in history as one of the real heroes.”
Two Grizzlies started to charge Havago with a heavy board between them. Havago fell to his back, rolled over in a reverse somersault, then sent both Grizzlies sprawling each with a kick to the backside. He sprang to his feet.
“Who’s next?” he bellowed.
“I… I think we should….” I started forward, wondering what I could do. I was no fighter, but the odds against Havago were tremendous. I felt a belt of magik hold me back. Markie grinned up at me.
“Let him take care of it, Skeeve. He’s doing fine.”
Before I knew it, Havago had repelled all the Grizzlies, and driven them back beyond the broken door. He stood on the threshold, snarling. None of the Grizzlies came forward to challenge him again.
“Look, Gazinda cooed, leading the Doodlebug forward. It licked her palm with a long black tongue. “You see? It just wants to be friends.”
“But the whole town is ruined!” Tedina cried. “We don’t have the budget to rebuild all of this… this catastrophe!”
The idea that had been percolating in my mind since the melee erupted came into full focus.
“I think I know how you can make it back,” I said. Havago looked upset. I was stealing his thunder. I held up a hand “Hear me out! Look, you didn’t know this creature was harmless – all right, relatively harmless. But you have a genuine hero here. He could have chopped you all to pieces, but he didn’t! In fact, he defeated you all without hurting any of you.”
“Much,” one of the Grizzlies muttered, holding his wrist.
Havago looked mollified. I went on, talking faster as the idea pressed at my imagination. “What if… what if you advertised that you had a champion who would take on all comers in non-magikal combat? I mean, not that you would want to make side wagers about the outcome. Havago would never throw a match.”
“Never!” Havago bellowed. “My integrity is matched only by my prowess!”
A few of the Grizzlies shared private glances. I could see the beginning of an underground betting ring forming. I didn’t mind. The organizers would work hard to support Havago if he was going to make them money.
“It sounds like an interesting idea,” Tedina said, stroking her chin. I could tell she was half convinced. I pressed to push her the rest of the way.
“Grizzle won’t be just a stopping off point on the way to somewhere else. You’ll have your very own hero: the Champion of Grizzle. People would come from all around just to watch matches against him. Look at him.” Havago struck a pose as I gestured at him. “He’s the biggest, strongest person here, but he knows how to hold back on that strength when it’s appropriate. The more spectators you have, the wider his fame will spread.”
Enlightenment dawned on face after face. Gazinda beamed with pride.
“I like it!” Havago said, sheathing his sword. “Will you have me, good Grizzlies? I would be proud to be your hero.”
“He could make you all rich,” Aahz added. “If you promote it right.”
“But we don’t know how to organize that kind of publicity,” Tedina said.
“Oh, I do,” Gazinda said, waving a casual hand. “I’ve been doing it for Havago for years. I can put advertisements on the Crystal Ethernet, and cross-publicize with popular acts in a hundred different dimensions, sponsor contests, all the usual things. But we never had a place that we could call our own, you know, that people knew where to find us. This would… this would be wonderful!”
“What about the Doodlebug?” Markie asked.
“I’m going to keep him,” Gazinda said, firmly. “He can live in my handbag! He’s so insecure out in the open.”
“I don’t like it,” the silver Grizzly said. “What if he gets loose and wants to blow something up?”
“He can do demolition work for you free of charge,” Markie said. “Or you can set something up for him to destroy. And,” she added temptingly, “sell tickets.”
That certainly got their attention, as did the scrapbook Gazinda pulled out of her handbag. The Grizzlies moved in to ooh and aah over the clippings. Havago pulled poses and signed autographs for some of the enterprising locals who foresaw a market for them in the not too distant future.
I patted the Doodlebug one more time and turned to leave.
“Wait!” Havago shouted, shaking the room with the power of his voice. “I promised a shout-out to my friends! My heroes! Aahz, Markie, and Skeeve, for assisting me – a trifle – in starting my new life here in Grizzle.”
I chuckled. He couldn’t make me angry any longer.
Tedina pressed the gold coin for our fee into my palm and shook hands with all of us. We left the Grizzlies and the Titans sitting around tiny tables in the very crowded schoolroom, talking over plans. Night had fallen when we emerged.
“Well, I need a drink,” Aahz said.
“Strawberry milkshakes on me at the Yellow Crescent Inn,” I offered, taking the D-hopper out of my belt pouch.
“That was a good deed you did back there,” Markie said. “That was one heck of a good idea, and it solved all of their problems in one swoop.”
“Me? I didn’t do anything,” I said, my eyes wide with innocence, as I pushed the button. “I’m no hero.”
BAMF!
** You can read about this semi-heroic exploit in Myth-Fits, available from bookslingers and other smugglers of literature.
* Anyone who would like to discover the range of Markie’s talents is invited to delve into the marvelous recounting in Little Myth Marker, available from your physical and ethernet purveyors of literature.
# Thanks to a practical joke. The record of Aahz’s deprivation can be found in Another Fine Myth, enshrined in libraries and for sale elsewhere for a few simoleons.
BIO
Jody Lynn Nye lists her main career activity as “spoiling cats.” She lives northwest of Chicago with three feline overlords, Athena, Minx, and Marmalade, and her husband, author and packager Bill Fawcett. She has written over fifty books, most of them with a humorous bent, and over 165 short stories.
Jody has been fortunate enough to have collaborated with some of the greats in the field of science fiction and fantasy. She wrote several books with Anne McCaffrey or set in Anne’s many worlds, including The Death of Sleep, The Ship Who Won, Crisis on Doona (a New York Times and USA Today bestseller), and The Dragonlover’s Guide to Pern. She wrote eight books with Robert Asprin and has since his death continued two of his series, the Myth-Adventures and Dragons. She edited a humorous anthology about mothers, Don’t Forget Your Spacesuit, Dear!
Her latest books are Rhythm of the Imperium (Baen Books), Moon Tracks (with Travis S. Taylor, Baen Books) and Myth-Fits (Ace). She is one of the judges for the Writers of the Future fiction contest, the largest speculative fiction contest in the world. Jody also teaches the intensive two-day writers' workshop at DragonCon.
LINKS
Author Website: http://jodynye.net/
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/Jody-Lynn-Nye/e/B000AQ0B5I
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jodylynnnye
The Shadow of Markham
R.R. Virdi
The only lives to pass this night would be those taken by my hand. I resolved to make that the case as I raced over the flat rooftop, cold and porous stone leeching the warmth from my bare feet. But the city always took her toll out of my nightly exploits.
Markham, my new home, collected her tax for living within the walls in other ways at times.
Like the occasional child going missing.
It wasn’t unheard of in a place like this.
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One or two through the months was as normal as alleyway attacks.
But a dozen children vanishing in the span of ten days was too much even for this place, harsh and hard as she was.
I’d find them, though.
My feet beat against the roof with a sound like wood on stone. Old callouses had long since formed over themselves and made the skin as tough as anything I ran over. I neared the edge of the structure and sped up towards the lip.
My cloak billowed behind me, a train of spun shadow darker than ink smeared with coal. Yet still shades lighter than obsidian of my skin. The multiple layers of fabric flapped wildly as my feet hit the end and I sprang forwards. I shot through the city tops like an arrow—a wraith of black, passing overhead too fast to be seen.
The edge of the next building closed in quicker than I’d expected. I angled myself properly, touching down on the balls of my feet and tucking downward. Momentum carried me forwards as I rolled to take the brunt of the impact across my back and shoulders. The maneuver brought me back full circle to my feet, and I sprang, pushing myself back to a sprint.
A gust of wind threatened to rip away the cowl obscuring my face. I reached up absentmindedly, cinching it tight with a tug against the ties. My pace quickened and I barreled towards the next edge.
Time slipped away, and the night here was unkind to those who dallied. Another child would go missing tonight. But if I played my part right, I’d be able to follow the people behind it back to wherever they took the little ones. A dangerous game.
The only kind the city of Markham played.
A shrill scream cut through the blanketing silence of the night.
I snarled, looking ahead at the next jump, then to where the noise had come from. An alleyway sat between the buildings, nestled low and long right below me. Stopping to investigate would only hamper my chase.
The weight of one person’s suffering versus that of many children.
Parallel Worlds- the Heroes Within Page 9
