by Lexy Wolfe
Skyfire frowned. “It feels like someone new has joined the bayuli-volsha. The touch is familiar…and not. Very young and old at the same time.” He looked at Storm’s pale complexion, putting a hand on her arm. “Aelia, are you all right?”
“I know this touch. I…Zhekali only knew it for so little time, but she would never forget the touch of…of her family.” She turned to Ash. “It’s Quinn.”
“Quinn? Who is…?” Ash’s expression changed from perplexed to mirroring her shock. “…Quinn?” The mage looked up at Terrence. “Quinn was…one of Zhekali and Avarian’s children.”
The Illaini Githalin blinked, then turned with a sudden fierceness that startled even the other na’Zhekali. “Seeker! Find a way to track either Marcus or Izkynder. There are no doubts they are together. Locating one should find both.” The man nodded without a word, gesturing to his three companions to remain protecting the shelter.
Skyfire blinked. “That’s why Anibu wanted us to come here, Kailee? To find this A’tyrna Ulan? Couldn’t one of you have just said—? Oh, never mind.” He hopped down to help his brother.
Windsong held her hands to Star. “I will protect Laurel. When the trail is found, you should go with them, Githalin Su’alin.” The slight woman hesitated, then nodded, taking the baby pack off to hand her daughter to the other.
Star managed a smile. “Thank you.”
“I did not understand your desire to protect outlanders and our people before.” As Windsong settled the baby pack over her shoulders, she looked down at the infant’s bright blue eyes, caressing her hair. “Since your journey began, I have seen what you have. It is not our beliefs that divide us, but our hostility and inflexibility toward others’ beliefs.”
With a smile, Star nodded. “Serving everyone honors Him because it is being true to His ideals. But it does make the patterns more complicated.”
“That,” Windsong agreed with a heavy sigh, “is too very true. There are many who do not wish them to become…tangled. They will fight against it. Even against the Githalin and the Raging One to protect the old ways.”
“Like my father.” Star looked out toward the island in the middle of the lake. “It is not a confrontation I look forward to, however needed it is.”
“I have found the trail!” Seeker called. Without waiting, he turned to follow it, ensuring he did not outpace those behind him.
MARCUS AND IZKYNDER looked up when the adults crashed into the area. With a bright smile, the boy ran to his parents. “Mama! Papa!” They wrapped their arms around him in relief before taking turns scolding him for running off as he had.
The apprentice jumped to his feet, immediately chagrined at the stern look Nolyn leveled on him. “I am sorry, Master,” he said in a small voice, hands clasped behind his back. “Izkynder ran off looking for his pet and I couldn’t stop him. I thought it would be better to stay with him.”
Nolyn’s hard expression softened. “Given the circumstances, you did the right thing.” He grabbed the boy in alarm and pulled him behind him when the tigrin snarled, emerging from the brush near the rust-colored column of rock.
The beast subsided as a hot wind swirled around them, growling in discontent. Star smiled in welcome, eyes glistening with tears. “A’tyrna Ulan, I am honored to meet you.”
Skyfire’s eyes, brilliant gold, were wide in shock. “I thought the A’tyrna Ulan were dead. They are still alive?” Everyone covered their eyes when the wind whipped angrily. “Forgive me, I meant no insult.”
“They are not dead,” Star stated. She bit her lip and looked toward the pillar. “They are not…completely alive, either. They are trapped between because they hold life to Desantiva when the magic would have spread beyond our borders. They still do.”
Nolyn pursed his lips. “I sense something, but I do not see…anyone.”
Izkynder pulled away from his parents, approaching Storm and Ash. Without a word, he took their hands in his and held tight, looking toward the pillar. When they followed his gaze, they both dropped to their knees, their shock rippling across the bond. They reached out their free hands toward the ghostly figure.
“You are…Quinn?” Storm whispered, her voice faltering.
Yes. He knelt across from them, putting his palms against theirs. I know you aren’t…my parents anymore. He looked at Storm. I had seen you reborn so many times. You were the only one who could find this place. I so wanted to talk to you, but you couldn’t…see me. Citali’s gifts never came to na’Zhekali’s children. We had enough of a burden, he said. He closed his eyes a moment, then asked in a tight voice, But can I call you Mama and Papa?
Unable to speak, Storm turn and fled. “Aelia!” Ash ran after her to catch her.
Izkynder looked down, shoulders hunched. He met Terrence’s eyes when the other mage knelt on one knee beside him. “She will be okay. She is not mad. Just feeling a lot of confusing things right now.” He held his hand to the boy. “Please?” As the boy’s fingers curled around his hand, Terrence looked up into the startled spirit’s gaze and smiled faintly. “Hello, big brother. It’s nice to meet you finally.”
Tristan? Is that you? Quinn looked him up and down. You’re a Forentan now?
“It is…ah. Complicated.”
Quinn crossed his arms, snorting softly. Of course it is. We are na’Zhekali. It has always been complicated.
Star approached, kneeling beside Terrence. “A’tyrna Ulan Quinn, I had spoken with A’tyrna Ulan Nyla and she had sent me on a quest to fulfill a prophesy.” Quinn listened, waiting in silence. “She told me ‘the Githalin must return home. Only then will the last of Desantiva’s open wounds be able to be closed and the A’tyrna Ulan freed from our vigil.’ When I left Desantiva, that was only Storm and Skyfire. But now I am as are my brother Seeker and…him. Can you tell me which one was intended to return?”
Quinn followed her gaze toward Terrence. You want to know which one? He shrugged, crossing his arms. All of them.
Star looked stricken. “…All of us? But…I wanted to return to Forenta with my lifemate and—”
By the great father’s back spikes, are you that stupid? Quinn stood, the wind whipping around with his temper. There is nothing that says anyone has to stay once the prophesy is fulfilled. It would be nice to be able to do anything else than keeping things from falling apart! With that, he returned to the pillar, the wind falling dormant. The tigrin curled around the base, baring his teeth in a warning growl.
Star blinked and stared. “He is…not as kind as Nyla.”
Skyfire offered his hand to his sister. “He is not Nyla.” He turned his attention to Terrence as he stood. “I knew the A’tyrna Ulan were important to Desantiva. But none ever spoke to any Su’alin. Even when Star told me about Nyla, I…doubted her then.” He looked at his sister in apology. She only smiled in understanding. “But I had no idea they were…na’Zhekali. Or not-quite-dead-or-alive.”
“Perhaps a family secret lost when the tribe was massacred,” Jaison said after a long silence. “And since no one has asked, the Totani did not pass that bit of information along.” He looked in the direction that Storm and Ash had gone. “I cannot imagine what it is like finding out your past lives’ children have been trapped like this for so long. Especially with their memories awakened within you.”
“Do we even need to go to this Citadel place anymore?” Bella wondered. “Now that we have an answer to the question we were heading there to learn.”
“Yes.” Terrence’s voice was flat, expression grim. “We must complete the prophesy, especially if it will free the A’tyrna Ulan from their self-imprisonment. If there is a single locale that would allow that, it has to be the most sacred one to all Desanti. It is also the home for all the sacred Paths.” He exhaled. “I cannot imagine how this will shake the society here when they are freed.”
“A very valid point.” Tyrsan mused, his expression thoughtful. He considered the pillar. “How is it we sense Quinn through the bayuli-volsha now but not earlier
? Or any of the others, for that matter. There are six of them in total, yes?”
“I touched him,” Izkynder piped up. “It’s like how others who can’t usually see spirits can see them if I’m touching them.” He looked at the startled Star and Skyfire. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I could! Garst startled us and I grabbed Marcus’ hand and didn’t let go and then Quinn started talking before I let go and Marcus thought he was a ghost.” He took a deep breath. “That’s when I figured out that I could help people see spirits.” The tigrin growled louder again, but did not otherwise move. The boy smiled and waved at the reptilian feline.
“I think I should start training you both,” Star told Skyfire and Izkynder. “It is too dangerous not to.”
“The tigrin scared me,” Marcus interjected, his eyes downcast as he scuffed the sandy dirt. “Izkynder just smacked Garst on the nose and he backed away. He was real brave. I…wasn’t.”
Nolyn crouched to be more on eye-level with his apprentice. “Marcus, if I came face to face with that? I’d be needing to change my clothes and wash them and myself a lot. Not everyone is as brazen as a na’Zhekali. Being cautious often lets you live longer.”
“You’ll probably outlive us all,” Tyrsan opined in droll tones. He looked back to the others. “Still, if we feel Quinn within the tribal bond now, it stands to reason they all lost the connection. Perhaps the first thing we need to do is seek out the other A’tyrna Ulan and reestablish the bayuli-volsha with them as well. It could give them an anchor.”
Seeker closed his eyes for a moment. “Anibu says there is a route for our journey we could follow. It would allow us to encounter them all within the span of time our original path to the Citadel was going to take. However, it will not be easy. Some of the terrain is hostile enough that the tribes often avoid them for safety reasons. It will make it complicated with so many unfamiliar with the desert.”
Terrence looked back at the pillar and smiled. “We are na’Zhekali. It is always complicated.”
“More than you realize, Githalin Sumyr,” Seeker stated gravely. “One of the A’tyrna Ulan resides within the Blighted Lands. They were the na’Zhekali tribe’s territory when they were massacred.”
Mureln picked Izkynder up with a glance at the pillar. “We can come visit your new friend before we leave. Right now, we have other things we must do.”
“I know, Papa.” He waved to the tigrin. “Bye, Garst! Be good!” Before anyone could move, the animal bounded over, dark stripes briefly appearing on his gleaming golden hide as he jumped up on Mureln and licked the boy’s cheek. He dropped down and slunk back to his post by Quinn’s pillar.
“You know that change of clothes Nolyn mentioned? I think it is a very good idea at the moment.” The bard offered a weak smile to the others’ laughter.
ASH FOLLOWED STORM as she ran. He had stopped calling to her when he realized she was not going to stop, saving his breath just to keep from losing her. When she tripped in her exhaustion, he dropped next to her, grabbing her in his arms and holding her tightly. Her gut-wrenching, shrieking sobs made his heart ache for her.
“Aelia,” he begged. “Please. Nothing you had ever done caused this. Don’t blame yourself!”
“You don’t understand!” She looked up at him, her eyes red. “Zhekali never knew what happened to her children. She did not know they had been ensnared in our curse. Worse than our curse! We at least knew the mercy of death. The numbness beyond the sword’s edge before we came back to lives of suffering.
“But they have been here since that time. Aware! Desperately trying to hold the world together even as it has been coming apart. And I knew nothing. I did nothing! If I had known sooner, in a previous life, perhaps it would not have been so long until we had found each other again. I could have looked for you! Something. Anything to have saved my…her children.”
Ash frowned. “What do you mean ‘coming apart?’”
She did not answer right away, pressing her fists over her eyes as she forced herself to calm. “Desantiva had been dying ever since the Great War before you came with Almek. When I was young, a Totani named Corelia died, but the Totani grieved because they did not expect her to be reborn.
“I had asked Thandar why, if everything born is reborn eventually.” She uncovered her eyes, though they remained closed. “Those of the Roylat who became Totani found beasts that resonated with them. In temperament, in behavior. They do not just imitate those forms. Parts of them are those forms.
“The physical bodies of divine servants are mortal. When their physical forms can no longer be sustained, they come back through the young of those mortals they resonate most with. They live among mortals until they are mature and their immortal memories return, and then they return to the gods they serve.”
Ash considered that. “It gives them awareness of what mortals must endure.”
She nodded. “For Roylat and Trisari, that was humans. But for the Totani, they return through the beasts they resonated with.” She met his eyes, the depths of grief in hers. “Some of the missing Totani did not die during the Great War. They died since then, but those animals no longer live. Even if the land is mended, it may be too late for the others. Kailee…there are none of her kind anymore. I do not know if there are any golden eagles like Thandar.”
“Oh, Aelia,” Ash whispered as the magnitude of devastation finally struck him. “I had no idea things were so dire here.” He pulled her against him, cradling her. “I guess you did not, either.”
“I don’t know. I think part of me suspected the greater problem. But I never knew how to ask the questions.” She raised her eyes to the sky. “I don’t know if Father and the Totani were afraid what would happen if I did. Zhekali’s memories are…” She searched for the words. “Turbulent. They are not mine, so it is difficult to grasp them unless something resonates with them right now.”
“And feeling Zhekali’s son through the bayuli-volsha did that.” She nodded, resting her head against his shoulder. “Our son…their son.” He shook his head once in a sharp movement. “There is a part of me that wishes Zhekali had left Avarian to his fate.”
“No. No!” She looked up at him, her hand along his cheek. “It would not have stopped the great war. The suffering would still have happened, except there would have been no one to stop the runaway, forbidden magic of the spell cast. Desanti deaths would have been your people’s deaths as well because there were no limitations to stop its spread.”
He tilted his head. “You believe this was our destiny? Their destiny?”
She sighed. “I dislike that term, but the world does have its way of trying to right balance on its own. I wish it could have been different. Instead of Zhekali and Avarian’s children being the last line of defense to protect Desantiva, they could have been the beginning of a new peace and understanding between our peoples. The world could have been so different, if different choices were made. Different actions taken.” She smiled sadly. “The war could have been delayed long enough for Avarian to fulfill his vow to the Timeless One and Zhekali would never have died and been reborn a mortal.”
“That might have been better. Then you could be defending Desantiva with the greater strength of a Totani.”
“And be without you?” She shook her head. “I do not know if she could have been what the gods need her to be for them then, but most especially not now.”
“Which is what?” He sat back to study her. “I do not understand what it is the ancient trinity wants so much from you They would be willing to threaten mortals to coerce you.”
“She was Their balance, Their objectivity, Their eyes seeing Themselves. Zhekali did not fear Them and told Them exactly what They needed to hear, whether They wanted to hear it or not. She kept Them from going too far, making Them fix things They broke. Doing things that were more hurtful than helpful to the great balance because They do still bicker and fight over beliefs and philosophy like…well. Warriors and mages.
“She was not perfect. S
he knew very well she was not, but she still strove to be what was needed. And then she met Avarian. He was a counterpoint for Zhekali. An intellectual who valued the heart. He balanced her as no other ever had.” She hugged him fiercely tight. “He gave her peace and hope. Until the attack on him, she had been desperately trying to find a way to stay by his side without breaking the divine laws.
“Especially for after the agreement was completed and she was no longer mortal, for one day, he would die. All mortals do. And she would have been forbidden from ever seeking him out. She would have to wait for him to seek her out. But sometimes, mortals are not drawn to the same things they had been in their past lives.”
Ash sighed, tension draining from his shoulders as he held her. “And the waiting, the yearning…would have been a distraction.”
Storm nodded. “Dangerous for a warrior. And now? I am not nearly so objective. If I am at all, it is barely before I do something that would do more harm than good.” She took a shuddering breath. “Part of Zhekali is awake in me and she did not know…that the A’tyrna Ulan were her children. The shock of learning the truth…the anguish of realizing her children suffered…” She shook her head. “I have no answers how to mend things. I am only a warrior now. Not Totani. I am not that wise or powerful.”
Putting a hand on her cheek, Ash laughed gently. “If you are not wise or powerful, if you are but a shadow of what you were then, I am amazed Avarian was not intimidated by Zhekali’s glory.”
She allowed him to kiss her for several heartbeats before she pulled away. “Sometimes, you are impossibly biased.”
“So are you,” he returned, taking her hand in his. She glanced sideways at him, feeling the somber tenor of seriousness in his touch. “Beloved, you need to know what awaits us in Forenta when we return. I don’t know if we will have time to talk in peace and in private like this again, and I will not knowingly keep secrets from you.” She nodded, lacing her fingers through his, the two walking slowly toward the encampment.
