Close to Me

by Monica Murphy

  Turns out the deputy helped with that too, offering up some suggestions. Within a couple of days, my parents are granted temporary guardianship of Asher Davis, and the county drug enforcement team performed a raid on Ash’s mom’s apartment. They found lots and lots of pills, along with all the paraphernalia that comes with dealing, and pressed charges against both his mother and Don, including distribution.

  They’re still in jail, and this makes Ash inordinately happy.

  He’s not off the hook, though. He confessed to what he did, what his mother made him do for the past two years, and he agreed to a community service sentence. He’ll be given an assignment within the next month or so, and once he completes his hours, the minor charges they pressed against him will be dropped, and forever sealed in his juvenile record.

  Ash got off easy, and he knows it.

  The entire week, he’s his usual overly confident self at school. Strutting down the hall, smiling at everyone. He throws himself into practice, working to the point of exhaustion every afternoon. Once word spread that Ash wasn’t dealing anymore and his mom got busted, all those people who were a part of his clientele list leave him alone. Or ask for recommendations on where they can get some Oxy.

  Thankfully, he doesn’t have any recs to give them.

  By Friday night, the school is in a frenzy, ready to win our last home game before the team goes on the road for the next three weeks. They’re undefeated so far for the season, and Ash is ready to prove to his coaches, to the entire school that he still has what it takes. I’m on the sidelines as usual, even more pumped up for this game than normal, and I’m talking with my coach when Mom approaches, a giant smile on her face. When she gestures for me to come closer, I walk over to where she’s standing on the other side of the fence.

  “An offensive coach from Fresno State is here tonight to watch Ash play,” she whispers in my ear.

  I pull away to stare at her incredulously. “Aren’t they a D-1 school?”

  Mom nods, looking very pleased. “Your dad called in a few favors.”

  “Did he tell Ash?”

  “No way!” Mom laughs. “That kid would be a bundle of nerves if he did that. He has no clue.”

  And I won’t have a chance to tell him. We never speak during games. He’s too busy, I’m too busy.

  The game starts, and the opposing team immediately puts points on the board, which riles up our crowd. The stands are full tonight, the student section at near capacity, and the rest of the bleachers are filled up as well. The town is small and there’s not a lot to do on a Friday night so plenty of locals come to watch the game. Plus, many people who live here once went to this high school, so there are a lot of alumni filling the stands.

  Looks like they all came out tonight. I’m sure part of it has to do with Ash. It was all over social media and the local news that his mom was arrested in the drug bust, though no mention of Ash’s involvement was included. He’s a bit of a celebrity right now thanks to his mom’s transgressions, but he seems to be taking everything in stride.

  Our team scores within two minutes and now the game is tied. It goes like this for the entire first half. Back and forth, back and forth, until we’re 21 to 17 at the half, with the visiting team in the lead.

  “Crap, you think we’re going to lose?” Kaya’s eyes are wide as the entire cheer team hooks arms and gets ready to meet the opposing cheer team in the middle of the field, as is our tradition. We’ll invite them to sit on our side to watch us perform our halftime routine.

  “No way. Ash won’t let it happen,” I say firmly. “They always have some huge inspirational speech during halftime that makes them come back ten times stronger and ready to tear the other team apart.”

  Kaya laughs. “So true. We witnessed that at a game a couple of weeks ago.”

  We gripe about how we hate football and are so over it, but truly, I love it. It’s been a part of my life since I was born. I always believed I wanted to avoid football players at all costs, figuring they only wanted to use me for my dad.

  Yet here I am, halfway in love with the quarterback of our football team, and I’m a cheerleader. My dad’s the coach. Ash and I are a total cliché.

  Not that I mind.

  The start of the third quarter we score immediately, and we take the lead for the rest of the game. I cheer loud and proud for my boy, for his team, for my father’s team, and when it’s all over and I can go out on the field to hug Ash, he sweeps me into his arms, holding me close despite all the equipment he’s still wearing.

  “You were amazing,” I say, smiling up at him.

  “I could hear you cheering, Callahan.” He drops a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Loud as usual.”

  “Shush. You know you love it.” I smack him on the chest, wrinkling my nose when he rubs his damp face against my neck. He’s all sweaty and kind of smelly, but I don’t care. It’s so nice to actually be out in public with our relationship. People know we’re together, and they don’t really care. My parents seem cool with it, but they’ve also kept us extra busy so we never get a chance to be alone. No one at school seems bothered by it either. I thought Rylie would be a problem, but I really haven’t seen her at all this week.

  I let Ash go talk to other people, and I grab my cheer bag, which is sitting by the fence where my coach still is, cleaning everything up. Since the season’s started, I’ve been helping Brandy put away our equipment every week after the game, so I’m not surprised when she smiles and says, “Go be with your non-boyfriend, Autumn. See you Monday at practice.”

  “My non-boyfriend?” I laugh, and so does she.

  “You’re the one who denied you had anything going on with him,” she says.

  “That was sort of true.”

  “Whatever.”

  Laughing, I turn and almost run into someone.

  Rylie. And she looks totally different from the last time I saw her. Her hair is this jarring greenish blue color that isn’t very flattering with her pale skin and she’s wearing heavy eye makeup. She’s a pretty girl, I’ve always thought so, but this new look isn’t a good one.

  “Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to run into you.” She flashes me a smile, her eyes wide as she takes me in. Her smile fades and her lip curls in disgust. “I honestly don’t know what he sees in you.”

  I take a step away from her, my heart pounding. No way do I want to deal with another confrontation. “Come on, Rylie. I don’t want any trouble.”

  “Neither do I. Not with you. I do have a problem with Ash, though.” She glances around, her gaze snagging on where he’s standing out on the field, talking with a couple of football dads. “I have a serious problem with him.”

  I have no idea what she’s talking about. The fact that he cut her off? She needs to take a cue from that one Disney movie and let it go. “Leave him alone.”

  “What, are you his keeper now? Oh, that’s right, you are. So sweet. The big happy family all living together under one roof. If I didn’t hate you so much, I’d be envious.”

  Why does she have to be such a bitch about it?

  I’m about to say something, but she turns and walks away, heading in the opposite direction of Ash.

  Thank God.

  Since Ash has been riding with all of us in the morning to school—his truck isn’t in the greatest shape and is still sitting in the parking lot of his apartment complex—we’re going to ride home together. This is the first time we’ve been actually alone in what feels like forever.

  I can’t wait. In fact, I’m a nervous, jittery mess, and when Ash asks if he can drive my Jeep home, I gladly hand over the keys.

  “Fuck yeah,” he says as he climbs into the driver’s seat, smiling over at me as he starts the car. “Think we can go for a ride?”

  “My parents will probably be waiting for us.” I bite my lip, trying not to squirm in my seat. He shed all his equipment and tossed it in the back of the Jeep before we got in the car, and he looks so cute sitting in my car, still wearing the
tight uniform pants and his jersey.

  “Indulge me for a little while, Callahan. I’ve been dreaming of getting my hands up your cheer skirt for years,” he drawls, his gaze dropping to my exposed thighs.

  “Oh my God, stop,” I tell him, blushing furiously. I do love the idea of him slipping his hands beneath my skirt, though.

  “Let’s go park by the lake. Just for a few minutes,” he says, and I give in, because how can I resist him?

  Besides, I want it too.

  Fifteen minutes later, Ash is pulling into a day camp parking lot right on the edge of the lake. No one else is here, it’s just us and the water and the moon reflecting its light on the rippling waves. Ash puts the car in park and rolls down the windows before he shuts off the engine. He turns off the radio and it goes silent, save for the outside noises. The rustle of grass from the breeze that always starts up just before sundown. An owl hoots close by, most likely perched in one of the towering pines above us. Another bird squawks, and in the near distance, I hear the insistent howling of coyotes.

  “The coyotes scared me when we first moved here,” I tell Ash.

  “Really? Afraid they were going to cart you away and eat you alive?” He sounds amused.

  “So gross.” I laugh. Shake my head. “No, I was never afraid of them taking me away or anything like that. They just sound scary. Those howls in the middle of the night are eerie.” I still hear them a lot, especially up where we live. We used to always have cats, and they preferred being indoors and outdoors, but we lost so many to coyotes or bobcats that Mom finally gave up. She couldn’t stand losing them in such a terrible way. Neither could any of us kids, especially Ava. She’d cry and cry for days.

  “Big city girl not used to living in the woods?” He lifts his brows.

  “Not at all. I hated it here at first. I was a complete city girl. You didn’t help matters either,” I say, scowling at him.

  He looks faintly embarrassed. “I was kind of a jerk.”

  “You were a total jerk,” I agree.

  “I was just warning you off. The entire team made a bet on who would get your nudes first,” he says.

  “So awful.” I shake my head. “Just so you know, I will never send you nude photos. I got a big speech from my mom when I turned thirteen, warning me off. She pulled out the big guns.”

  “What did she say?”

  “‘What if the pics got out, Autumn? What if they were splashed all over social media? It could happen, considering how famous your dad is.’ That was enough to convince me. She said the same thing to Ava,” I explain.

  “Damn, guess I’ll just have to see it live and in person then.” He tugs on his lower lip with his thumb and index finger as he gaze drops to my lap, something I haven’t seen him do in a while.

  I forgot how much I liked it.

  “You’ve already seen it live and in person,” I remind him, teasing.

  “Yeah, but I want to see it again. And again and again and again.” He settles his big hand on my thigh, then slides it up, beneath my skirt. “Your skin is so smooth.”

  My breath hitches in my throat. Ben and I may have made out in his car or mine pretty much every weekend, but we never went very far. I always figured he took it slow out of respect for me. But maybe he didn’t feel the spark either.

  Right now, with Ash’s hand on my thigh, it feels like he could set my skin on fire.

  “Come here,” he says, his voice deep. Seductive. “Come sit on my lap.”

  He pushes the seat back to give us more room, and then I’m climbing on top of him, my arms around his neck, fingers buried in his soft hair. My knees are resting on the seat on either side of his hips, and when I lower my torso so our bodies are pressed close together, Ash closes his eyes on a moan.

  “I’ve missed you so damn bad,” he murmurs.

  I watch him, mesmerized by the way his eyebrows crinkle, his eyes tightly shut. Most of the wounds on his face have faded completely, and I sort of miss the dangerous air they gave him. The stitches were taken out just yesterday, leaving him with an angry scar the doctor swore would fade with time.

  I run my finger over the scar, dropping my hand when he flinches. “I like your scars,” I tell him when his eyes slowly open.

  “You’re the only one who does,” he says with a faint smile.

  “I like everything about you.” My voice is somber, as are my emotions. This feels like a serious moment. One I don’t ever want to forget.

  “Yeah?” He runs his hand over my hair, tugging on the end of my ponytail. His full lips curve upward, and his eyes never leave mine when he says, “Pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, Callahan.”

  My lips part as I stare down at him, and then we’re kissing. I can’t not kiss him after he says something like that. Something so monumental. My heart is soaring. I have everything I could ever want, right here, right now…

  “I’m falling in love with you too,” I whisper against his lips, just before he kisses me again, his tongue teasing my lips. “It’s probably too fast to say that.”

  “Nah. We’ve been playing around at this relationship thing for long enough.” He deepens the kiss, his tongue stroking mine, his hands everywhere at once, until we finally break for air minutes later, both of us breathless. “Wanna go to the backseat?”

  “Let’s fold down the seats completely. I have a couple of blankets.” I bite my lip, wondering if he brought one of those condoms he stole from my brother.

  He glances over his shoulder at the backseat before returning his gaze to me. “I don’t know.”

  My heart drops.

  “If we start messing around back there, I won’t want to stop. And we’ll end up taking way too long and your parents will get suspicious and then we’ll get in trouble. Maybe we should go back home,” he says.

  I stare at him, surprised by his suggestion. He sounds so…grownup. And rational. “Okay,” I say with a nod. “But I really, really wanted to be with you in the back of my car. Just so you know.”

  He groans, the sound full of agony. “Why you gotta go and say something like that?”

  “You should come to my room later.” Ash opens his mouth, I’m sure to tell me no, but I cut him off. “They won’t know. We’ll be quiet. Come on. Please?”

  We remain silent for a moment, studying each other, and I try my best to convey with my eyes just how badly I want him to meet me later tonight.

  “Okay,” he finally agrees, just before he kisses me. Hard. “But you’re going to have to be extra quiet. You know how loud you are when I make you come, Callahan.”

  Laughing, I climb off his lap and settle my butt into the passenger seat, watching as he starts the Jeep up and backs out of the spot with ease. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

  “I can’t believe you laughed when I said that. You’re changing.”

  “So are you.”

  And I love it.

  Thirty-Five

  Ash

  It’s late. Past midnight, maybe closer to one. I’ve discovered the entire house stays up late after a football game. It’s like everyone’s hype and they have a hard time coming down. When Autumn and I enter the kitchen, the entire Callahan family is in there, even Beck, eating pizza and talking so loud, they don’t notice us when we first come in.

  They aren’t mad we took so long, though in all reality we only took about a fifteen-minute detour, thanks to my speeding back to her house. Autumn squealed the entire drive home, especially when I took the curves too fast, and her road is extra curvy.

  Kind of like her.

  We settle at the kitchen counter with the rest of the family and I stuff my face full of pizza. Fable mentioned she picked it up on the way home and I tell her she’s a goddess, I’m that hungry and grateful. She laughs and ruffles my hair, and I catch Autumn watching us with so much emotion in her eyes, just seeing her look at me like that makes my chest tight. This girl makes me feel way too much. It’s almost scary, how she affects me.


  When I admitted earlier I was falling in love with her, I lied. I’m full-blown in love with her. I just didn’t want to say it too quick, afraid I might scare her. She’s a take-it-slow kind of girl, and I’m a let’s-go-fast-faster type of guy. We’ve been moving at warp speed the last few weeks, so capping it off with a “I’m in love with you” declaration might’ve been too much.

  I’ll probably spill my guts within the week. I’m not one to keep shit in.

  Once everyone goes to their rooms, I go to mine and take a shower. Put on a pair of black boxer briefs and a T-shirt, mess around with my hair a bit before I give up on it. Shave my face and brush my teeth so I’ll have minty-fresh breath. Then when I’m fairly sure everyone’s tucked into bed, I grab one of those condoms I snagged from Jake and sneak through the house, creep up the stairs, and let myself into Autumn’s room.

  She’s awake, sitting up in bed. There’s a tiny lamp on her bedside table that’s shaped like a flower, and it casts its pink glow throughout the room, just enough so I can see her. She’s sitting on top of the covers, wearing a loose tank, and I can tell there’s no bra underneath. Her nipples poke against the thin fabric, her hair is loose and wavy all around her face, and as I draw closer to the bed, I can smell her floral scented lotion.

  “Hi,” she whispers, her big green eyes glowing.

  “Hi.” I sit on the edge of her bed and reach out, skimming my fingers up her smooth calf. “You smell good.”

  “I think I used half the bottle of lotion on my legs.” She smiles, and I can tell she’s nervous. Her lips twitch and she keeps blinking.

  “If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to,” I tell her, wanting to establish that from the start. I won’t push her into anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. Even a couple of weeks ago I might’ve pushed her for more, not fully caring about her feelings. I was that much of a jackass.