“Don’t worry about it. We both lost a friend that day.” He shifted uncomfortably.
Mac rose to offer drinks. “Wine, Viper? Harley and I were having a couple before you arrived.”
His face twitched as he acknowledged Mac. “Wine sounds good. I’d prefer beer, but I’ll take what I can get.” Turning back to me, he chuckled. “Harley, huh? That will take a bit of getting used to. Are you going to have everyone call you that?”
“Yep. It’s who I am now. I associate myself with him.”
“Fair enough. I’ll call you whatever you want, including shit for brains. I’m just glad you’re alive.”
I laughed before adding, “You and me both, although waking up with no past leaves a lot to be desired.”
“Any idea who shot you?” Viper asked, taking the glass from Mac as she sat down and handed me my refill.
“Terrorist. I’m certain. A snippet of that night came to me. I chased a lead on a planted explosive in a nightclub in town. Everyone evacuated. I searched in an alley. It’s where the police found me. There’s nothing after that.”
“Hmm. It’s possibly connected to the cell who captured and killed Reno. We killed their leader. Could be personal now. Any idea who asked you to investigate the bomb? I’d have known about it if it came from our unit.”
Forcing out air, I sensed Mac’s fear beside me. Her quiet curse and nervous shifting gave her away. Without looking, I squeezed her leg. It comforted me as well.
The thought of having a target on my back didn’t sit well, and I sure as hell didn’t want her involved.
“I got nothing else. Not sure where the order came from. So you don’t know anything about it? That’s odd.”
“We get jobs on the sly sometimes. It’s not unusual, although there’s normally backup. You obviously had none and were flying solo.” His pensive gaze across the room upped my pulse. Being given a solo job, even without my memory, caused a flicker of unease to creep up my spine. It didn’t sound like a typical job, but then what did I know?
More than ever, I needed to keep Mac safe if those who tried to kill me still wanted me dead.
We’d discussed me moving in with my ex-wife Trudy, who lived in a secure estate to offer some protection. Mac had insisted, even though I knew her heart said otherwise. Now, it seemed like I didn’t have a choice. I needed to remove myself from her life to keep her safe.
Spinning around, I caught the worry swimming in her eyes, but I needed to stay strong. “I’m gonna move in with Trudy as planned. I don’t want you involved in any of this shit. I mean it, Mac. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
Her frown deepened as her head fell downward, eyes focused on her lap.
“Ah, man you may want to consider moving in with me instead.” Viper’s husky, concerned drawl pulled my gaze from Mac. My friend ran his hand over his prickly scalp and down the back of his neck before huffing out a long breath. He appeared nervous, and coming from someone who looked like a tank of armor, it couldn’t be good.
Standing, I walked over to the living room window, not to look out, but to give myself something to do, because I sensed a missile about to hit its target.
Without turning, I asked, “Why is that, Viper?”
Silence. Patience wore thin as each second trickled by with no answer.
Turning, I caught the end of a stolen glance between Viper and Mac. A secret. My brain might be filled with fog, but I wasn’t stupid.
“What’s going on?” I held my ground, steadying myself for whatever came.
“Ah, man. I’ve already told you this once, and it was hard back then. To have to do it again is killing me. I’m just the messenger, okay? So don’t shoot me.” He moved to the edge of his seat, resting his elbows on his knees, eying me. Unsure.
My blood thickened, slowing down my heartrate to almost nothing as I held my breath.
I glared at him, unable to utter a sound. Whatever he needed to get off his chest weighed a ton. His shoulders sagged as he looked to the ground, then back up.
“The reason you and Trudy split up is because you found out she had been having an affair.”
Spine fully extending, I soaked in the words. My wife had cheated? A small sense of betrayal dug a hole in my chest, but simply simmered with no recollection of it. More like a bruised ego hearing it from my friend. The rage I should have felt hadn’t stirred yet.
Mac sat in the room, anxiously watching, twirling her wine glass but not drinking.
“Oh? And how did you find out?” It didn’t really matter, but I wanted to know.
“I found a letter while on deployment. Trudy sent it.”
Confusion had me stare into space to debunk the riddle. How did he find the letter, and had I read it at that stage?
Spinning around to face my friend, I asked, “You read it?” Dumb question. Of course he read it if that’s how he found out, but my brain was fuzzy attempting to make sense of something I had no present knowledge of.
Viper shifted uncomfortably. “Only the last page with Trudy’s signature.”
Striding closer, filtering dozens of questions to get to the most pivotal, I ground out, “What did it say?”
His features took on an anguished guise. He eyeballed me directly. “She declared her love to someone who wasn’t you.”
I began to get the churning in my gut that I’d come to know preceded something monumental. Viper’s face and body were tensing with each passing second, upping my own anger. My friend appeared torn. Jesus! Even with no morsel of memory about the betrayal from my wife, my adrenalin spiked. The air could be cut with a knife. Mac fiddled nervously, not looking at me. Suddenly anger doused my earlier good mood. A hidden part of me wanted to tear someone’s head off as I began putting puzzle pieces together. Namely the guy in question, and then I wanted to pay my ex-wife a visit. The letter had never been meant for me. It had been for her lover. A military comrade. Had it been someone on my team? A friend?
Needing clarification on who she had screwed around with, even though I might not recognize the name, I took a deep, centered breath. “Who was it?”
I gave Mac another once-over, needing her comfort. She sat forward on the sofa, biting a fingernail. Clearly she already knew. I’d deal with her later. Right now my laser focus targeted Viper, who lowered his head and gripped the back of his neck.
Not knowing if he’d answer me, I growled, “Who. Was. It?”
Every muscle in me had tightened in preparation. Watching him raise his head, I gathered from the pained expression on his face, I wasn’t going to like the answer.
Just when I thought I’d need to shake it out of him, he let one word roll off his tongue. It left Viper and attached itself to me like a living entity.
“Reno.”
Chapter Two
Mac
The room fell silent. Shock and tension covered us in a dense blanket so thick, I almost rose and rushed out the front door just so I could breathe again.
It must be hard for Viper to be the bearer of the same bad news twice. Neither of us knew how Harley would react, so I remained focused on him, looking for any sign of a meltdown. So far he had kept it together, and perhaps his limited memory proved a blessing in this instance. Still, with each passing second, his body stiffened further. I could almost hear the cogs of his mind click over. I needed to go comfort him, but I couldn’t be sure if he would rebut my attempt, so I remained seated.
“Reno?” he whispered.
“I’m sorry, man. I thought you needed to know before you made any decisions regarding Trudy.”
Harley appeared oblivious as he stared through Viper. His mouth stretched tight, his jaw locked.
I wanted to say something, but at the same time, I had no place in doing so.
Viper gave me a troubled look, which I returned. He stood and moved to Harley.
“You okay?” He placed a hand on Harley’s shoulder.
Nothing. I’d rather him rant and rave, because then I’d kno
w what he felt. His dazed stupor had me worried.
Viper shook him and Harley found some focus as he lowered himself onto the edge of the coffee table.
“The dream,” he murmured, still not completely with us.
“The dream?” queried Viper, bending down so they were at eye level.
“Reno’s last words were, ‘I’m sorry, man.’ I didn’t know what it meant when I woke up, but now I do.”
“I heard him mumble something but couldn’t make it out.” Huffing out, Viper continued, “So I’m guessing Trudy decided after Reno’s death she would attempt to get back with you. Probably out of guilt.”
“I don’t remember. I only know what she’s told me.”
It became obvious Viper didn’t like Trudy. His lips sneered at the mention of her. I could see his loyalty to Harley and it comforted me.
“Don’t necessarily believe anything that comes out of her mouth. It’s convenient for her now that you have amnesia. She could tell you anything and you’d be none the wiser.”
“I guess it’s settled, then.”
I spoke up for the first time. “What?”
Harley finally peered at me. “I won’t be moving in with my ex-wife. I’ll bunk with Viper for a while. See if we can use his connections to weed out the guy who tried to kill me. Try and find out why I ran solo that night.”
I couldn’t help the mental high five I gave myself at hearing about Harley not moving in with Trudy. Viper would look out for him and help in any way possible. I could get back to normal and all would be good. A huge part of me would miss having him around, though. Things had subtly changed between us. Perhaps I needed the space from him to think things through.
Some of the responsibility would be taken off me so I could focus on my life. Nick, for instance. He’d have to be dealt with upon his return, but I felt strong enough to lay my cards on the table. I no longer needed comfortable. I no longer wanted mundane. Harley had opened my eyes to that. Even only having met Viper, I could tell he oozed a certain level of danger and fire. The two men sitting in my living room were far from ordinary. To be in the military they obviously craved excitement and liked to live on the edge. Their mindset didn’t belong in regular society. Some part of me connected with that. I lived on a razor sharp edge at work, daily, having to make split second decisions that could save or end lives. From the moment I walked through the doors into the hospital, my adrenalin spiked until the second I walked out again.
Being around Harley had propelled that adrenalin in a different way. An intense way. Deep down, I craved it. What would it be like to fully immerse myself in him? To let go of my inhibitions? To surrender to the dark part that lived in us all?
“Mac?”
“Hmm?” I’d zoned right out. Viper had been talking to me and I hadn’t heard a word.
“I’m gonna head home now. Nice meeting you.” He held out his hand and I shook it vigorously.
“Oh. No problem. Sorry, just thinking about work tomorrow.” A lie, but one I seemed to pull off. Viper winked at me and walked with Harley to the door. Clapping each other on the back, I listened as they spoke.
“We’ll catch this asshole, bro. Trust me on that. You need a hand getting some stuff from your apartment tomorrow?”
“Nah. I need to hang around here until the alarm’s done, and then I’ll pick the lock like I did earlier, throw some things into a bag, and head over. Text Mac your address? I need to invest in a new cell.”
“Gotcha.” Viper fished out his cell, keyed in a few words, and upon hearing the ping of my cell, he pocketed it again.
“Take it easy, man,” Harley offered.
“You too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Alone with Harley again, I waited for him to shut the front door and watched as he stalked toward me. His face had hardened into a mask of anger so I kept quiet.
Muscles in his neck threatened to pop as he threw himself down beside me.
“Fuck!” he roared, grabbing his head between his hands and squeezing his scalp.
He had every right to be pissed off. In fact, he’d dealt with everything thus far rather well. If it were me, I’d be a mess right now.
Instead of angering him more by speaking, I rose and filled up his wine glass, knowing he’d need it and more. Not that alcohol should be used as therapy, but I had nothing else to marginally calm him. Except…
Don’t go there, Mac. He’s vulnerable right now. You need to keep it together. Keep your hands to yourself.
I sat it in front of him on the coffee table, deciding I didn’t need any more wine. He slowly raised his head to look at the glass and then to me, his face drawn and tired. Weary from information overload. I could tell he bordered on short-circuiting.
“Drink,” I ordered, because what else could I say?
“There’s too much shit to process right now,” he sighed out, giving me an invitation to talk. His mussed up hair drew my attention for a split second, but I quickly quelled the erotic thoughts bubbling away in my mind. Even with everything that had gone down so far, I could feel the kinetic energy sizzling in the air around us.
“I know. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much. At least now you know why your marriage failed. Moving in with Trudy would be a mistake.”
“It’s lucky Viper called you when he did. Perhaps it’s all for the best. While I can’t remember the clusterfuck of my life, it troubles me that my wife screwed my friend.” He swigged the rest of his glass of wine in one swallow, placing it on the coffee table beside me.
“I think moving in with Viper will be good for you, regardless of what you remember.”
His stare became intense, causing me to shift slightly.
“You’re good for me, Mac. You. Right here. Right now.”
Oh no! Retreat! Retreat! When had he edged closer? I had nowhere else to go. The back of my knees were painfully pressed in to the edge of the coffee table. A better question might be, did I truly want him to back off?
Vulnerable, Mac. Remember? My body wasn’t listening to logic. It ran its own race.
His heat leached into my pores, causing goosebumps to skitter across my flesh. One man. The only man to ever make me question everything. He had the ability to reconnect my short-circuited nerve endings in such a way, I grappled for oxygen in his presence. His touch scalded. His stare eviscerated me. The ‘more’ I craved surpassed what I knew I could handle, and yet I wanted nothing more than to push those boundaries of self-control and sensation.
“You with me?” he croaked, his pointer finger running down the ridge of my nose, feather-soft.
I could only minutely nod in my catatonic state. He continued to trace my face while his eyes destroyed me in other ways. I hovered on a cusp of the unknown, torn between freefalling and taking a step back. If I fell there would be no way I’d be able to climb back up, but if I retreated safely, I’d miss the chance to soar. Safety had always been my road in life. I’d never strayed from that. Boring and humdrum. Harley had presented me with an intersection where I could take a risk and turn left into the unknown or remain on the straight and narrow.
I knew what I needed but did I have the strength to chase it? Nick and his neglect came forward into my thoughts, disappointment clinging to it. He couldn’t give me what I needed. What I yearned for. I needed to jump off this cliff I teetered on and hope the man in front of me caught me.
You need this, Mac. Live life instead of simply existing. Feel. Discover. Take what you want from a man who will give you everything he has.
Blinking, I inched my mouth closer to his. Time to jump.
Harley must have seen me take the first step because he did catch me as I fell. Without hesitation. Our mouths smashed together, desperate and wild. He dragged me onto his lap where we sank into each other, fully. I feasted on his plush mouth, demanding he give me more by stealing each of his grunts. Large hands gripped my scalp as he pushed himself upward, needing friction. I scooted as far in to his groin as I could, the min
ute distance still too much.
I sailed on the glorious air current of heady intoxication, surrendering to my descent into the unknown. Freedom gripped me in its clutches in that moment, allowing me to simply be.
My chest crushed Harley’s, and without even knowing it, I found myself rubbing backward and forward, my nipples rejoicing.
Tearing our mouths apart, Harley’s lips swollen from my assault, he rasped, “Jesus. I’m drowning in you, angel, and it’s still not enough.”
I bit the inside of my cheek as he stood, held my hips to his and walked down the hallway to my room. His strength carried me as if I weighed nothing. His gaze never wavered. I didn’t want it to. Anticipation lit the space around us. It seeped from my pores.
Kicking the door shut, he took three strides to the bed and placed me down as if I might break before covering me completely. I saw nothing else. Became nothing else but him. I submerged with him as we drowned in each other.
My cells came alive, kicking me into the stratosphere of want and need. Grasping the bottom of his shirt, I pulled upward, tossing it to the floor so I could bask in Harley’s finery. His marked chest drew my mouth forward so I could delicately kiss the wound I had tended. He shivered at the contact, hissing in a breath, not from pain but pleasure.
“It’s yours, Mac. Everything. The scar is a tattoo in your honor for saving me. For bringing me back. For finding me when I’d succumbed to the darkness. I wear it with pride.”
His words moved me as I continued to trace the outline with my tongue, reveling in the free rein I had.
His skin felt smooth and taut as I moved to his left nipple, gently gripping it with my teeth and pulling. I loved giving in to everything I craved without the fear of rebuttal. Something told me Harley was open to exploring the same facet of myself that existed within him. He relished in my newfound bravado.
“Fuck!” he roared, pushing his pec further into my mouth. “Don’t stop.”
I loved his reaction, spurring me on to suck hard and then soothe with my tongue, twirling it in between. Each whistle of breath and twitch of his body brought forth my own climbing need. How could I have ever lived without this?
The Lost and Found Series Page 18
