* * *
Admiral Scanlon was finally getting around to some pleasure reading. It was an old exercise, reading a book, moving your eyes across a page, but she loved it. The chez lounge she read in was in the corner of her standby room. The shelf beside it had her small selection of favourites; Testing The Void, The Time Machine, the most recent version of Unrequited which was a romance novel that the author was still adding to, and a few others that most people never heard of. Above the desk she never sat behind was a holographic math model that was the closest thing her people could come up with to explain Haven Fleet's cloaking systems. From time to time she glanced up from her reading, which was supposed to clear her head and give her mind time to come up with new ideas and looked at it. Her analysts were better physicists than she was by far, but she understood the problems they were having as they tried to break through the cloaking technology.
The Lance was an expensive ship, the space she gave Haven Fleet to operate around Nuaji was controversial since most of the Admiralty thought she should send interdiction ships in and wipe the Haven ships out, but she stuck to her plan. The Overlord trusted her, that's all that mattered. She was just getting back to her book, Founder of Mars: A Biography, when a chime interrupted her. That sound meant there was an urgent communication coming in and she tapped her wrist to answer. "Yes."
"Ma'am, the Lance just detected an object with its Near Field Collision scanners," the officer said in a rush. "Then the ship went dark."
"They finally took the bait. They attacked," she said.
"Yes, but not at long range, from what we can see. This was an antimatter torpedo like the ones that hit our bases and shipyards not long ago. The energy dispersion is the same, but we're still analysing it…"
"So you're not completely certain yet, I understand," Admiral Scanlon said, dropping the hardcover onto her seat, standing and striding to the door. "I'm on my way, start a full analysis now. I want to feed new parameters into our long range scanners as soon as possible."
"Yes, Ma'am, we're working on updating our model."
"Thank you, Stanley," she told the lead analyst.
* * *
The torpedo went off as Minh-Chu was a little over twenty-five thousand kilometres away from the Lance. The kilometre-long ship was between it and him, but you wouldn't know it. Its hull disappeared in a bloom of white light, and his fighter was sent tumbling end over end as he heard something strike his hull. "That's not good!" Minh-Chu said as he brought it back under control and started checking his systems. His shields were down to twenty-eight percent, but a shard of metal penetrated them. He looked through his cockpit window towards the back then back at his damage panel. The backup energy storage system he brought with him was offline, punctured by whatever hit him. "Good thing I brought those, or it would have hit me right in the cockpit."
"…to Ronin. We are sending a rescue team," Jake said as the signal from the Merciless cleared.
"No need, my ship is still flyable and my shields are back up to thirty percent. I'm coming back uncloaked."
"We can see that. A chunk of material from one of the Lance's reactors is sticking out the back end of your fighter. Are you sure you're all right?" Jake asked.
"Fine, just a trophy for the squad room," he replied.
* * *
The small lift at the end of the secure hallway took Admiral Scanlon directly to the workgroup hub, a darkened room where thirty-one scientist worked on the problem of Haven Fleet cloaking devices. Their work was summarized in the middle of the room as a hologram of drifting math, and it was changing quickly. "How are we doing?" she asked as she approached Stanley Edwards. He was skinny, too skinny as far as she was concerned, and had a long, thin chin. He worked too hard, but that could be taken care of after he was finished leading her team.
"We've confirmed that the Lance was destroyed, and we're scanning a Haven Fleet fighter. The stealth systems are still trying to activate, but they're damaged. Part of the ship is obscured while the rest is visible. We're getting great data."
"How close are we to building a new parameter set we can use?"
"Close," he said, looking over his shoulder at two of his senior team members then up at the column of holographic math in the middle of the room. "Minutes before we can get that for you and test it."
"The radiation from the blast is clearing up, we're getting a better scan of that fighter," someone announced from across the room. "Wait, he's turned his cloaking systems off."
"Use the data we collected," Stanley said.
Admiral Scanlon watched as the large team put all their work together, collaborating rapidly with practiced grace. The column of numbers turned green, he smiled a little, then nodded. "We have parameters you can use for a new scan."
"Load them into the array on the dark side of Asteroid Nine Five Three Three One and scan the coordinate range I'm putting into the system, please." She punched coordinates that would scan a huge amount of space, she was sure there was a Haven ship in there somewhere.
"Done, scanning," a technician near the middle of the room said as he changed the main holoprojector to show the results. "Fifty-three second delay."
Everyone in the room watched, quieting down until there was silence. Admiral Scanlon stared at the empty space above the holoprojector, realizing after some time that she was holding her breath. The Lance was destroyed. She would have to use an older command carrier for her flagship. The Order of Eden would feel the expense. Most importantly though, with no reason to remain in the area, the Haven ships would move on and she'd lose them unless…
"Scan data is coming in, we should see something now," the technician running the tactical scanners announced.
Admiral Scanlon began to grin, excitement rising as the shape of a Haven Fleet ship appeared. At first that's all it was, just a dark shape, then there were details, enough details to see that it was the Merciless. "We got it, we can see them!" she exclaimed, the first to clap.
The room erupted with applause as she walked around Stanley's station and gave him a hug that surprised him at first. There were tears in his eyes, and she wiped one away. "Save those scan parameters and encrypt them with my key. You are going on vacation as soon as we start using them."
"Thank you, thank you so much," he said before turning to another member of his team to embrace them.
She waited for the din to die down, then locked all the doors with a quick command on the computer printed on her wrist. "Can I have your attention!" she said, making sure she proceeded with a congratulatory tone. "Thank you all for your hard work, I knew you could do it, I knew all the sacrifices we made would be worth it. Congratulations. Now the hard part begins. You're all being sequestered in this part of the ship. You can move between your quarters and the common room in this section, but that's all, because we have to keep this a secret. I know you're all looking forward to contacting your friends and families, but you'll have to wait a while longer. These computers will not be reconnecting with the fleet database."
"How long are we going to be isolated this time?" asked Tobin, a scruffy blonde analyst several stations down.
"That depends on the best strategic use of this new scanning technique. Someone from security will let you know when we do. You'll be paid twice your rate while you're sequestered, plus a project completion bonus," she replied as several dissenting voices began to rise. She wouldn't have it. "Enough!" she barked, silencing the room. "This is a secret worth burying everyone here for. Do you understand? If you are calm, patient, and no one leaks the fact that we have a way of penetrating Haven cloaking systems, then you'll all be fine. You'll be much wealthier, and opportunities will open up for you. If this leaks, I will have to start taking a close look at each and every one of you for indications that you are a mole. That kind of scrutiny gets people executed. For now, celebrate amongst yourselves, relax, eat something, and keep quiet. There will be a perfect time and place to roll out these new scan parameters, and when that happen
s, when they're in common use, you'll all be free to talk about how you cracked their cloaking systems all you like." Admiral Scanlon took her leave, wishing she didn't have to dampen their spirits, and hoping that there would be no leaks. There were a lot of mysteries to solve, technologies to analyse in the Haven System, and she wanted to use as much of the same team as she could. It would be a waste if they had to be silenced permanently.
Thirty-Seven
Nuaji's Lessons
* * *
Alice had two holographic images running in front of her. To her right was all the information they managed to gather on Mary Reed. She'd been busy, the Order suspected that she organized a meeting between three rebel factions. Where and when it took place were vague, she was good at keeping that kind of information secret. Mary Reed's file was a loop of data that she picked at, didn't focus on past reading and watching it through the first time.
The other image was simpler but more devastating. The Mary Reed file was momentarily forgotten as she watched Peter's final moments. "I love you all," he said wistfully before the nanobots ended his life then started pulling his body apart. It was the first time she'd watched his whole declaration, and as she struggled to keep the outrage, sadness and guilt from spilling out of her head, she wondered if it was still too soon for her to see it.
A chime at the hatch to her quarters sounded. "Come in." The tears were wiped away on her long sleeve, and she shifted on the round seat.
"I'm sorry, I stowed away," Quan said as he stepped inside.
Alice was shocked. "How?"
"Lewis, Faloo, and a little mental shielding," he said sheepishly.
"You sneaky little subroutine," she scolded towards the ceiling.
"Hey, no reason to get nasty," Lewis replied. "Admiral Valent ordered me to hide him aboard. We agreed that there was a fifty-fifty or so chance that you would leave him behind if he made it a choice. I was only following orders. Oh, and I'm a whole program, not a subroutine. Words hurt, you know."
"Sorry," Alice snickered, making a mental note not to use that insult again. "I know."
Quan looked from the ceiling, where most people stared when they were talking to Lewis, back to Alice, seeming uncertain. She slipped off the round seat and hugged him. "I'm glad you're here," she said, amused that he was such an awkward hugger with her as he gently patted her on the back before she released him.
"I can be an annoying companion," he said, looking at the frozen image of Peter's body going limp behind her. "I've been told that a few times when I tried to help people. I felt you might want to talk, though. That's the video the Fleet is afraid of."
"I can see why now," Alice said, sitting back down, nodding. "I can't believe I made that happen. They were just medical nanobots, I didn't think he could use them to make a weapon that would strip his own world."
"I sense that you didn't imagine he'd follow through with that kind of destruction, either," Quan said, sitting beside her. "Oh, that's more comfortable than it looks."
"High-end self-adjusting seating," Alice said, turning back to the frozen image. "You're right, I never thought he'd actually do it." Sadness and fear established a sudden grip on her, and she started shaking.
"You're supressing something," Quan said, putting his arm around her.
"I don't know what, I don't know where this is coming from."
"Look away from that for a moment, you weren't there, that was his decision, not yours," Quan said. "Relax, your body is only telling you that your mind is hiding something. Forget shielding the people around you from what you're feeling, I'll do that for you."
Alice followed his advice, it felt good to let go, and she felt the urge to slip deeper, to let go of consciousness so she could begin to create her own world again. She didn't follow it. "God, I want to hide again. Put a bigger wall around what I'm supressing, just so I don't break down again."
"I won't do that for you, besides, did it ever occur to you that you're not breaking down, you're breaking through?" Quan asked.
The image of Peter the moment before he was completely torn apart was still hanging there when a memory returned to Alice. It was while she was in her dream world, she was escaping, walling her mind up and pretending to be little, young, innocent. A flood of alarm, pain, and terror struck her then as she felt hundreds then thousands and tens of thousands of people at once. "I felt them die," Alice sobbed, feeling the memory of a multitude screaming. "I felt their fear and pain so I made sure I wouldn't have to wake up again."
"Let go of that memory," Quan said. "You've uncovered it, now you can begin to accept it, but you have to let go, you can't live in that moment anymore."
"I…" Alice started, but finishing the statement she wanted to make proved difficult. I want to hide again? I want to be alone? I want you out of my head? I shouldn't be alive when all those people are gone because I didn't see how crazy Peter was? I can't do anything right. Remembering the outcry of pain that was so loud that it crossed incredible space, she doubled over.
"I know it feels like it happened seconds ago, but you have to face that it ultimately wasn't your fault and begin to let go. You don't deserve the guilt you've taken on." He rubbed her back soothingly. "You only wanted the best for Peter and his people. You didn't see what he did coming because you are a good person who expects allies to be as good or better than you. You've learned a hard lesson, but don't let it take that away from you entirely. You don't need to suffer anymore. There's still so much good you can do."
He's wrong. Alice thought, then she started remembering what it was like to have Lewis as her only companion. Months where she did odd jobs with him and the Clever Dream, trusting no one, serving herself while she kept an eye open for her father. She realized for the first time that that Alice, the first human Alice wasn't selfish, she was lost. Being lost, having no purpose was as much a feeling as it was a way of being. That was as bad as going to sleep and refusing to wake up, as running away. She could do that, Alice realized, deny the memory of feeling a world die. But I've run away so many times before. Noah, Ayan, Jake, her old friends and crew began drifting through her mind then, and facing that memory became easier. "How do I face this?" she asked.
"A little at a time, and it'll get easier every time it crosses your mind. Emotion will turn into knowledge, and pain will become a lesson," Quan said. "You don't have to do it alone, either. Put it aside for now. Your control will come back and you'll feel better."
Believing what he said was difficult at first, and she scoffed. Then she realized it was true. Putting the memory aside, focusing on the moment wasn't easy, but she found herself doing it, straightening up, remembering that she'd be seeing Noah Lucas again in about ten hours.
"What was that? You got control back very quickly just then," Quan asked, smiling a little, wiping a tear of his own away.
"Noah," Alice said shyly, taking a tissue from the drawer built into her seat.
"He was your happy thought," Quan said with a grin.
"Are you teasing me?" Alice asked before blowing her nose.
Quan laughed. "You're a remarkable woman, Alice. Our progress tonight would normally take weeks, months for most people. That's your strength, not his gift to you. It takes fortitude to live through one awful day so you can see what the next holds, even when there's someone you care for waiting to meet you in the future."
"It takes a toll on you, though," she said.
"It's for a greater good, temporary for the most part," he said. "Besides, I have a lot to make up for with you."
"I think you've more than made up for the first time we met," Alice said, remembering how he tried to get into her head then. It was a violation, but she made him pay then, too.
"I still have guilt of my own to work through," he replied.
"Do you think it'll ever go away completely?"
"No," he replied with no hesitation. "But some lessons come with the sting of the rod, and that only serves to remind us so we don't make the same mistake
twice."
"Dark," Alice chuckled.
"I suppose so."
"Now, do you mind if we do an exercise? We can practice…"
"Hey, Captain," Faloo said, her audio address coming over the main system. "We're about to start watching an old 'choose the scene' movie. It plays, we pick what happens next. Callum says this one's hilarious."
"Oh, that's perfect," Quan whispered.
"We'll be there in a couple minutes," Alice said. "What exercise?"
"It's the River Stone exercise. You're having trouble turning your gifts off, so you should learn how to withstand the emotional river around you without having to inspect or react each one. This movie might be perfect, especially if it is funny. All you have to do is relax, accept that everyone will feel what they will, and that you can be passive, non-reactive."
"Why didn't you bring this up before?"
"I brought up a few things that could lead to it, but the focus was on you being able to turn your ability off. Now, perhaps learning to live with it on might be the best way to come at it."
Holy crap, I can't imagine walking around, knowing what everyone is feeling all the time. Alice thought.
Spinward Fringe Broadcast 13 Page 29
