He pulled open the door at the back of the wagon. Tavi could see someone stooped in the shadows inside. She wore a dress and had long, dark hair. Perhaps the merchant had married since the last time they had seen him. He reached out, and the woman’s smooth hand came into the sunlight, grasping his fingers. She bowed further to avoid hitting her head in the low doorway of the wagon, and then she stepped down, raising her head to look around.
It was Reba.
Reba, who had left home to become a Gray, leaving her father heartbroken. Reba, who had helped the Grays kidnap Narre.
Reba, who had brought Misty’s murderers to Oren, just six weeks earlier.
All this ran through Tavi’s head in the time it took Reba to brush off her skirt. And then Tavi was running, a ball of compressed fury and wiry strength, toward her former best friend.
“Tavi—” was all Reba could say before Tavi tackled her. All Tavi’s fighting training fled; her actions were born of furious instinct. Straddling Reba’s chest, she grabbed a fistful of dirt and shoved it in Reba’s mouth. Then Tavi grabbed that beautiful, glossy black hair and pulled hard, coming away with a handful of it.
That was all she had time to do; strong hands pulled her away. She fought with all her strength, but her arms were held tight. Her feet connected with the shin of whoever stood behind her, and as she continued to struggle, she became aware of the words coming out of her mouth, over and over: “You killed Misty! You killed Misty!”
Now someone else was kneeling next to her, holding her legs, and Tavi realized her struggle was pointless. She silenced her voice and steadied her body. Looking down, she saw Narre’s arms around her legs. Then she turned her head; the merchant had her arms.
“I’m done,” Tavi said. “Let me go. Please.”
Reba had sat up and was spitting dirt out of her mouth. She looked up at the merchant and spoke in a voice that was lower than Tavi would have expected. Three weary, emotionless words: “Let her go.”
They did. Tavi turned and walked toward the road, unwilling to spend any more time looking at Reba than she had to. But Reba’s voice followed her.
“Tavi, wait, I have to tell you something.”
Narre caught up to Tavi, and she called over her shoulder, “There’s nothing you need to tell her!”
“Please!” Reba’s voice sounded closer, and Tavi glanced behind her. Reba was running toward them.
Tavi wouldn’t do anything so undignified as running away, but neither was she willing to stop. She continued to walk down the road at the same, determined pace, eyes straight ahead.
It took almost no time for Reba to catch up. She didn’t stop running until she was in front of Tavi and Narre. She stood facing them, as if she could block them from walking by her mere presence. Tavi altered her course to walk around Reba, and Narre did the same.
“Please!” Reba said again, and she ran a few more steps to catch up. She walked next to Tavi, who felt her ire rising further.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” Tavi said.
“I’m sorry. This is too important.” Reba took a deep breath, and in a voice low enough that Tavi and Narre were the only ones who could hear it, she said, “Konner is planning to make Ash the king of Cormina.”
Tavi’s eyes widened, but it was Narre who responded. “King?”
“Yes. And they’re moving quickly. You’ve got to go to Savala. You’ve got to stop them.”
Chapter Fourteen
Each time you assist in the birth of a healthy baby, you play a vital role in growing a family. I often remain involved in families’ lives, long after their children are born. It’s been one of the happiest surprises of my career.
-From Midwifery: A Manual for Practical and Karian Midwives by Ellea Kariana
Tavi continued to walk, pace unaltered, eyes straight ahead.
“Did you hear me?” Reba asked.
Tavi ignored her.
“Tavi,” Narre said, “can we talk about this?”
Tavi’s response was quiet but firm. “Later.”
“I understand why you’re upset,” Reba said. “You have every right to be.”
At last swiveling her head in Reba’s direction, Tavi spat, “You don’t understand anything!”
“Reba, let’s get you home.” Narre took Reba’s arm. “Your father will be so glad to see you.”
Reba pulled her arm away. “I don’t think you get how important this is, or how much danger I put myself in by coming here!”
Narre turned to Reba, dropping her forced cheerfulness. “Did you think you could show up, and we’d just follow you? I’m sure you’ve been through a lot, but so has Tavi! We’re taking you home, and then Tavi and I will talk. Alone.”
Reba bowed her head and gave a short, incomprehensible response.
They walked in silence. Reba turned off the road, taking the path toward her front door. Tavi ignored her and kept walking. Before Tavi and Narre were out of hearing range, the joyful cries of Reba’s father filled the street. Tavi walked faster.
“Let’s talk about this,” Narre said.
“There’s not much to talk about. I don’t have any magic, so fighting the Grays is pointless. You’re welcome to go to Savala without me. I’m sure Sall and Tullen would go with you.”
“I’ve already told you; I’m not going unless you go too.”
“Then it’s settled. We’re staying here.”
“Tavi!” Narre didn’t continue speaking until Tavi turned to meet her gaze. “If what Reba says is true, things are much worse than we thought. Wouldn’t you rather be in Savala when your magic comes back? Besides, you’re strong without your magic. With your fighting skills, you could probably take down all the Grays at once!”
Tavi fought to keep herself from smiling at the image. “You know that’s not true.”
Narre grinned. “Well, close enough.”
Tavi sighed. “Listen, I appreciate your confidence in me. But nothing’s changed since you first asked me to go to Savala. I’m not ready to leave my family. Especially without any magic. I’m sorry.”
Tavi’s first inclination upon entering her house was to vent to Misty about Reba’s reappearance. Realizing the absurdity of that thought, she slammed the door and went straight back to her room. Narre could explain the situation to both their mothers. Tavi tried to sleep but couldn’t. Misty is gone, and Reba is here. The unfairness of it fed her rage.
Since Misty’s death, injustices seemed to leap into Tavi’s awareness at every turn, constant reminders of the arbitrary cruelty of life. Some of them were small. The neighbor’s squash are bigger than Mama’s, though Mama has been gardening for a decade longer. Some were big. I have tremendous magic, and I can’t use it. Most inescapable of all was the injustice of Misty’s absence.
Tavi peered at the ceiling as if she could expect a window to open into Senniet if she stared long enough. It felt more important than ever to believe in a peaceful place where she would see her sister again. Yet that very belief had never felt more elusive. Sava hadn’t let her use her magic to save her sister; how could she trust him to reunite them?
Questions sped through Tavi’s mind, doubts that seemed more substantial than any devotion she’d ever had. It should be easy to find someone to talk to about matters of belief. Her father was a Savani shepherd, a respected member of the clergy. Her mother and Ellea were full of faith. But Tavi couldn’t bring herself to open up to them, and she kept her doubts private.
Her parents and Ellea had always spouted platitudes about Sava’s infinite goodness. Underneath their words was a message, unspoken yet clear, that those who worshipped Sava would have good, happy lives. Tavi had bit into the pastry of sweet, light faith she had been given and found it to be filled with bitter poison. And her parents and Ellea had been the ones to feed it to her.
She looked at the ceiling again. “I don’t know if you’re even there,” she whispered. The words of her prayer seemed to dissolve in the silent air.
Mey en
tered the room, interrupting Tavi’s tortured thoughts.
“Reba’s appearance must have startled you,” Mey said.
The magnitude of her mother’s understatement nearly made Tavi laugh out loud. Instead, she turned toward the wall. “It’s fine.”
Mey tried to engage her in further conversation, but Tavi asked to be left alone. Her mother complied.
Tavi lay down again, and after an hour tossing and turning, she slept. Her dreams were filled with vivid, merciless retellings of that terrible day in the forest. The big man who approached her and Misty had a grotesque, beastly face, as he always did in Tavi’s memory. And this time, additional monsters inhabited her nightmare: Reba and the woman who had put Misty to sleep, both with savage teeth and bloody eyes.
When someone rapped at her door, Tavi woke with relief, sitting straight up. “Come in.”
It was Mey. “I woke you, didn’t I?” Tavi nodded. “I’m sorry,” Mey said. “Ellea is here . . . and Reba and her father.”
“You can tell Ellea and Mr. Minnalen I said hello. I’d give you a message for Reba, but I doubt you’d be willing to repeat it.”
“I know you don’t want to go out there, but Ellea wants to discuss Reba’s news.”
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll attack Reba if I see her again?”
Was that a hint of a smile on her mother’s mouth? Perhaps, but her only response was, “I trust that’s out of your system.”
“Are Narre and her mother still here?”
“Yes. Sall and your father are, too. Everyone’s waiting in the sitting room.”
“Fine.” Tavi stood.
A minute later, she walked into the sitting room. Reba’s face turned red, and Tavi squashed the satisfied smile that pulled at her lips. She and Mey sat down.
“Ellea, would you like to start the discussion?” Mey asked.
The midwife nodded and gave Tavi a gentle smile. “I’m glad you joined us, Tavi. Reba and her father have updated all of us on the situation in Savala. I think we should discuss the information she’s brought.”
Sall spoke first. “Reba, you said the Grays are moving forward quickly. What kind of timing can we expect?”
“They want to crown Ash by next autumn.” Despite Reba’s quiet voice, the words rang through the room.
“As in, a little over a year from now?” Narre asked.
Reba nodded.
“How will they move so quickly?” Sall asked.
“I don’t know.” Reba lowered her head. “They never talked to me about their plans.”
Tavi narrowed her eyes. “Is that why you came back? They didn’t talk to you enough? They didn’t make you feel special?”
“No!” That one word was louder than anything else Reba had said. She sat up straight. “I came back because Konner wants control of this country, and we can’t let that happen. I don’t want any part of what they’re doing!”
“But you’re a Gray.” Tavi’s voice rose. “You killed someone to get gray magic. Don’t deny that!”
Reba seemed to fall in on herself. Her hair came down over her face, and her arms hugged her stomach. “I did.” The words were barely audible.
Reba’s reaction sparked pity in Tavi, but she shook her head twice, trying to rid herself of the feeling. She turned to Ellea. “Why did you come here instead of taking Reba straight to the safety officers? Let’s be honest, she deserves to rot in Kovus for eternity, but I’d settle for seeing her behind bars.”
Reba’s father looked sick at that statement. Tavi’s mother’s eyes were wide, but her admonishment was quiet: “Watch your words, Tavi.”
“It’s a valid question, Ellea,” Sall said. Tavi raised her eyebrows. Sall rarely challenged authority.
“It is,” the midwife said. “To be honest, I had the same thought. But Reba and I have talked at length about the things she’s done. She regrets it all. She was manipulated by those older than she is. There’s a reason Corminian law treats minors with greater mercy than adults. The other Grays deserve much of the blame for her actions. I’ve spoken with Officer Andisis about this, and he agrees.”
Ellea let out a sigh, shaking her head. “The part of me that longs for justice is struggling with this, Tavi. But I keep coming back to one fact: Reba’s experience with the Grays will be valuable in the resistance effort. She would do little good from a prison cell.”
“Resistance?” Tavi shot up from her chair. “You really trust her to be part of some resistance? I can’t even count the number of things wrong with that statement!”
“Tavi—” Narre began.
But Tavi kept going. “I’m dumbfounded that you’re all sitting here as if we’re sharing a nice, proper afternoon tea.” Her arm shot out, pointing at Reba. “That girl sitting there not only murdered someone; she led a group to Oren to kidnap me. And when that didn’t work, one of them decided the next best thing was to kill my sister. All because that stupid, spoiled, heartless girl led them straight here!
“And do you really think the Grays will let Reba return to her normal life? She knows things about them. They’ll be looking for her. She certainly can’t come to Savala with us. If she really wants to change her ways, maybe you should send her to Tinawe. There are lots of wealthy people there; I’m sure one of them needs someone to scrub their floors!”
“Tavi!” This time it was her father.
“I’m not done!” She was yelling now. “On top of it all, you’re talking about a Gray fighting the Grays. How exactly is that supposed to work? We’re supposed to trust her because she came home? What happens when she turns her gray magic on us?”
Tears were streaming down Reba’s cheeks, and she, too, stood. “What do you think I’m going to do to you, Tavi? Use the gray magic in my eyes to watch you from across a field? Because that’s about all I can do. I hardly even use my magic anymore. It hurts like you can’t imagine. I’m no danger to you! And I hate the Grays! I hate them! I’m not going back!”
“Girls. Sit down.” Ellea’s voice carried across the room, taking on the tone she usually reserved for unruly classes of trainees. Tavi and Reba sat. “Tavi,” Ellea said, “Reba wants to help the Golds succeed. Which is more important: her continued suffering or your success?”
Tavi clenched her teeth and pressed her lips together.
Ellea’s tone softened. “Your parents and I discussed this privately before you came in. It’s not easy for them either.”
“I was furious when I heard Reba was here,” Jevva said quietly. Tavi’s eyes met his, and he continued, “However, I listened to what Ellea had to say. Reba’s actions are indefensible, but so is the Grays’ manipulation of her.”
Jevva leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his gaze never leaving Tavi’s. “I want to remain angry. But I know what it is to feel a desperate desire to redeem yourself. Reba wants to make things right. I won’t be the one who stops her.”
It was like he’d sprayed water on the fire of Tavi’s anger. The heat wasn’t gone, but the blazing flames were. She didn’t dare look at Reba, though she heard sniffles from that direction. Tavi shifted her eyes to her mother, who took her husband’s hand and nodded her agreement with his words.
Silence reigned for several seconds. Then Mey took a deep breath and spoke. “May I ask you about something else?” When Tavi gave a sharp nod, Mey continued, “You said something about Reba not being able to go to Savala ‘with us.’ That’s what you said—‘with us.’ From what Narre told me, I was led to believe you didn’t want to go.”
“I didn’t say ‘with us.’ ”
Several people around the room spoke at once, confirming Mey’s statement.
“Well . . . I don’t know why I said that. I’m not going to Savala. I’m sure you and Father wouldn’t allow it anyway.”
Her parents looked at each other, relief relaxing their faces, and then Jevva met Tavi’s eyes. “It’s the last thing we want,” he said. “The very possibility frightens us more than you know.”
“Hold on.” Sall turned to Mey and Jevva. “I know you don’t want her to go, but she needs to know about the letter Ellea received from Pala. It’s only fair.”
At those words, Tavi caught Narre’s eye, then looked down, hoping the truth of Narre’s snooping wasn’t written all over both their faces.
Tavi heard the rustling of paper and looked at Ellea, who was unfolding a letter. “If you’ll allow me to share?” Ellea asked, addressing Tavi’s and Narre’s parents. She received nods and quiet affirmations in return. Smoothing the letter with her hand, she said, “Several weeks ago, Pala wrote me, asking if Tavi, Narre, Sall, and Tullen would consider coming to Savala. In fact, she invited Misty too.” Ellea’s compassionate eyes found Tavi. “I brought the letter to your parents, Tavi. Yours too, Narre. With Misty gone, we all agreed it wasn’t the right time for anyone to make such a decision.”
Again, Sall spoke up. “Pardon the interruption, but I have a question for Tavi’s and Narre’s parents. Can you imagine a time in which it would ever feel like ‘the right time’ to send your daughters back to Savala?”
Sall didn’t flinch when he met the eyes of both sets of parents, and Tavi stared at him, shocked at his candor. She looked at Narre, whose eyes were wide too, but more in admiration than surprise.
Shem, Narre’s father, answered the question. His voice was soft, but in the quiet room every word was clear. “I suspect you already know the answer to that question,” he said. “We don’t want them to go. When they took Narre last year, you can’t imagine how—” He stopped and cleared his throat. “We don’t want them to go,” he repeated. “I don’t think that will ever change. But we agreed to discuss it as a group.”
Tavi turned her attention back to Sall and saw a gentle glow emanating from his scalp. He addressed both sets of parents again. “I understand your desire to protect them. Mr. Minnalen, I know you feel the same way about Reba. But I’d ask you all to consider something. Since returning home, have any of us truly been safe?”
Facing the Gray Page 10
