“And Narre,” Tavi added.
Evitt swallowed, his narrative slowing. “Well, the team from Oren got back, and Ash found out what had happened. He ran to my house. He said I should go to the bedroom in the Gray House where they’d put Yamah.” Evitt met Tavi’s eyes. “That was his name. Yamah.”
“Yamah,” Tavi hadn’t ever asked Reba what the murderer’s name was. Now that she’d said it, she wanted to rinse her mouth out.
“Ash told me what the man had done.” He glanced at Tavi, and then off to the side. “We’d been having a lot of conversations about you, wondering if you would ever join us. I almost felt like I knew you. So when Ash told me what that man had done to your sister, I was disgusted.”
He looked at Tavi again, his teeth clenched. “And when Ash told me I could get a gray awakening by killing him . . . I didn’t even hesitate, Tavi. I sneaked into the Gray House. I took Yamah’s last breath and strangled him, and then I hung him from a sheet so it looked like he’d killed himself. Wrey had put him to sleep, and it was so easy. I know killing someone shouldn’t be easy, but it was. Sava help me, it was easy.” Evitt shook his head, hands over his mouth. “It hasn’t been easy since. Killing someone, it stays with you. Even when it was the right thing to do.” He gave Tavi a hard look as if challenging her to argue with him. She wasn’t about to do that.
“Anyway,” Evitt said, with another small shake of his head, “you came into town. Ash and I decided I should try to befriend you. Maybe if I could get you to see gray magic differently, you’d help us.”
“You don’t have to finish,” Tavi said, her breath hot under her scarf. “I know the rest of this story. You pretended to be my friend, and you almost convinced me to lose my soul. You took advantage of me when I was at my weakest. And here we are.” She glanced at Tullen, who was glaring at Evitt with barely restrained fury.
“I suppose that was the plan,” Evitt said, sounding helpless. “But I ended up considering you a real friend, Tavi. Still do, as crazy as that sounds. I didn’t fake any of that.”
“You used me!” Seeing Evitt’s eyebrows, which had shot up, Tavi snapped, “What, that’s a surprise to you?”
“Of course it’s not a surprise to me!” Evitt suddenly sounded like he was angry at her. “Yes, I used you. But I want you to ask yourself a question. You told me over and over how concerned you were for the safety of anyone who was seen with you. So why did you spend time with me? In public, when you weren’t willing to do the same with your old friends, unless you really needed to? Be honest, Tavi. If the answer is Because if something happened to Evitt, I wouldn’t care that much, then you used me too.”
Tavi drew back as if the words had hit her in the chest. Tears sprang to her eyes. She shifted her gaze to Tullen, who was looking down at his hands. The truth of Evitt’s statement was undeniable. Evitt had been her “safe friend,” the one she could have fun with to avoid the complexities of her real relationships. She felt like she might vomit.
Tullen’s eyes lifted, finding Tavi. “I think we should go.” She nodded. His gaze slid to Evitt. “We’ll send you a message if we have anything else to discuss with you.”
Tavi forced herself to look at Evitt again. His jaw was clenched, his expression unreadable. She stood at the same time Tullen did, and they began their walk home.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Planning and preparation are two entirely different beasts. As midwives, we can plan for all to go smoothly during a birth. It is wise to have such plans, for our optimism will help the mother relax. However, we must be ready for things to go wrong. By preparing for the unexpected, we can often prevent the worst.
-From Midwifery: A Manual for Practical and Karian Midwives by Ellea Kariana
As soon as they were on a road free of noisy revelers, Tavi said, “I’m sorry, Tullen.”
“You’re sorry? For what?”
“For leaving this morning. It was stupid and dangerous.”
“Oh! So much has happened since then. But you’re right, it was stupid and dangerous. Could you not do that again?” A smile played at the corners of his mouth.
Tavi blinked. “I don’t want to do it again. It’s just . . . you were so angry earlier.”
“You have no idea.” Tullen chuckled. “But we have bigger concerns now.” His smile disappeared. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Tavi saw Tullen’s dubious expression, and she lost all desire to pretend. “No, I’m not.” And the tears began.
Tullen led her off the sidewalk to a bench in front of a barber shop. They both sat. Tavi pulled at the scarf over her mouth. It was already wet from her breathing on it, and now her tears and snot were soaking into it, making it even soggier. “I hate this thing,” she sobbed.
Tullen let out a small laugh. “I hate mine, too.” Then he looked at her with helpless eyes. “I don’t know how to be a friend to you now, Tavi. I would have known before. I don’t know anymore.”
She nodded. Her instincts told her to bury her head in his chest and let him hold her. Somehow an action that would have been natural before they were together was now taboo, since they’d broken up. And she didn’t know how to fix that. It made her cry even harder.
“You can tell me about it,” Tullen said, “if you want.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.” Tavi forced herself to take a deep breath. “Can we keep walking?”
They did, and as Tavi listened to the rhythm of their boots on the wooden sidewalks, her tears stopped. But her thoughts tortured her.
What had happened to her? It had been a little over half a year since Misty’s death, and in that time, everything good in Tavi’s life had been vandalized. And she was the culprit. I ended things with Tullen. I avoided my friends and replaced them with someone I hardly knew, who ended up being a Gray. I tried to do everything on my own. I didn’t trust the people who have always trusted me.
That last one was the worst. She had just wanted to protect her friends. And maybe protect herself too, though from what, she didn’t know. I’m an immature idiot and a terrible friend.
“Stop beating yourself up.”
Tavi’s head snapped up, and she stared at Tullen with wide eyes. How had he guessed what she was thinking?
His eyes crinkled. “Don’t look so shocked. I know you, Tavi.”
“You do know me.” Tavi tried to decide if that was a good thing or not. Why would anyone who truly knew her want to remain her friend after everything she’d done? She’d even admitted to considering gray magic for herself, and now she was kicking herself for that confession.
“I know you,” Tullen said, “and I know what you’ve been through. We all do. Did you really think I—we—expected you to act like your old self after what happened?”
“I’m not my old self.”
“I know. You don’t have to be. Just be you. Whoever that is now. I don’t want you to be anyone else.”
And that was the difference between her true friends and Evitt. Maybe he’d genuinely wanted to be her friend, as he claimed. But what kind of friendship could be built on a foundation of deceit and manipulation? Even when Tavi’s real friends were angry at her, they didn’t try to change the core of who she was.
They’d been walking in silence for several minutes when Tavi looked up at Tullen. “Thank you.”
He didn’t ask why she’d said it. He simply smiled, put his arm around her shoulder, and gave her a little squeeze. Then he put his hands in his pockets, and Tavi felt suddenly cold.
At the midwife house, the Golds greeted Tavi with cries of relief. Then they began to chide her for leaving.
She held both her hands up. “It was a ridiculous thing to do, and I’m sorry. I can do a better apology later if you want, but right now we need to update you on what happened.”
Once their whole team was in the dining room, Tavi and Tullen told their story. When Tavi disclosed Evitt’s gray magic, she half-expected Pala to rush from the room in tears. She’d taken suc
h a liking to Evitt. But the stolid midwife merely steeled her eyes and squared her shoulders. She’s ready to fight, Tavi thought.
Tullen finished the story, and Jenevy was the first to respond. “So when I went to the Gray House, did Ash know who I was?”
Tavi nodded. “Evitt knew our plans, and he told Ash.”
“Why do you think Ash let me in?” Jenevy asked.
Tullen said, “If he’d stopped us, we would’ve known Evitt had betrayed us. Evitt had to pretend to be on our side so Tavi would trust him. He brought us to Konner’s house to spy, and he didn’t try too hard to stop us from finding the Gray House. All the while, he was trying to convince Tavi to consider gray magic. If she’d gotten her gray awakening, she could’ve helped him and Ash take down Konner. That was Ash’s plan the whole time. He even thought she might convince all of us to join their crusade.”
“But that’s ridiculous!” Narre said. “They couldn’t have really expected you to consider that, Tavi.”
Tavi’s guilt must have been written all over her face, because Narre’s mouth dropped open in shock. Tavi looked down at her hands and murmured, “I was very confused. I’m not anymore.”
When she looked up, she found Reba watching her. With tears in her eyes, Reba said, “I understand.”
Tavi pressed her lips together and tried not to cry.
“What do we do from here?” Tullen asked.
Sall suggested they call Evitt to the midwife house so Tavi could use her speech gift to interrogate him. She could force him to tell them what he knew about Konner’s plans. They all felt the act would be satisfyingly just. But Evitt knew about Tavi’s speech gift, and he would realize he’d succumbed to it. If he was angry enough, he might visit the midwife house, unseen, to sabotage them.
After their meeting with Evitt at the café, Tullen and Tavi didn’t trust him, but they also didn’t think he saw them as enemies. Changing that could have dire consequences. After much discussion, the Golds decided to leave Evitt alone. Tavi was relieved to be done with him.
But they needed a new way to gather information. In the end, they decided Tavi and Tullen would listen to conversations at Konner’s house and the Gray House. They’d considered doing this before, but listening for hours on end had never seemed to be a focused or effective strategy. Plus, it would require Tavi and Tullen to leave the house daily, a risk no one had wanted them to take. After months of slow progress, however, they were desperate enough to try it.
Tavi would put her schooling on hold; she’d worked ahead and could afford some time off. And with Tullen gone each day, someone else would have to do most of the cooking at the midwife house. Pala would help them find a new listening location since Evitt knew about their café. With all this decided, the meeting broke up.
As they left, Sall drew up beside Tavi. “I’m glad you’re back,” he said.
She thought he was glad she’d returned safely from Konner’s house. But when she looked at his empathetic eyes, she knew he meant more than that.
“Me too,” Tavi said.
Chapter Forty
RELIN: Muster the men. We march now.
SARTIA: But, General, we haven’t any plans drawn up.
RELIN: The plan is to march. Now!
-From Relin: A Play in Three Acts by Hestina Arlo
Ash sat in a chair behind the Gray House and took a large gulp of wine. He looked down at the heavy, pewter beer stein in his hand. Half-empty already? He shrugged and took another swallow.
He’d known about the twelve gray councillors; he’d even sent them their party invitations. But it had been different seeing them all in one place, seeing the devoted gazes they’d bestowed on Konner as he’d offered them magical freedom. Now they would follow him anywhere.
Ash knew the councillors’ devotion stemmed from gratitude and hope for a better future. But it was tinged with fear, too. They knew if one of them proved disloyal, Konner would gladly find someone to steal the traitor’s final breath. And so the gray councillors bowed and scraped and obeyed.
Ash was desperate to nullify Konner’s influence, and his plans were coming together. But every day he grew more nervous that Konner, with his strategic mind, would uncover his protégé’s schemes.
The sun was out, and Ash stretched his legs, trying to relax and enjoy the weather. After an hour, the wine caught up with him. He went inside, used the bathroom, and went to his bedroom to get a book.
He opened the door to his room, and a soft voice said, “I’m in here.”
Ash started. He would never get used to Evitt’s disembodied voice. He closed the door, and the young man appeared.
“What are you doing here?” Ash asked.
“I had to talk to you about what happened today at the party.”
“We talked about it.”
“No, after that.” Evitt looked nervous, but he barreled forward, telling Ash about Tavi’s appearance and the subsequent conversation with her and Tullen.
A seed of panic sprouted in Ash’s chest. “How much did you tell them?”
“I explained that you and I are working together against Konner. I hoped they would help us, but they won’t. They don’t want you to be king even if Konner is out of the picture.”
“That surprises you? You do remember I captured Tavi and held her against her will, right? Why did you talk to them at all? You should have just left!”
“I had to tell them something,” Evitt protested. “Otherwise they might come after us.”
“They still might!”
“Now that they know we’re fighting against Konner I’m hoping they’ll leave us alone and focus on him.”
Ash grunted. “Maybe. But this complicates everything. We have to move up the schedule.”
“Will Konner do that?”
“I think so. If nothing else, he’ll be glad I’m showing some motivation. He won’t be able to guess why I’m asking. He’s not even aware that I know Tavi and the others are in Savala.”
Evitt laughed. “He’s still keeping that a secret? Their escape must have really embarrassed him.”
“I keep hoping Tavi’s boot left him unable to bear children,” Ash replied with a chuckle. But it wasn’t a joke.
Ash crawled through the tunnel for the second time that day. At the end he emerged, dusted himself off, and entered Konner’s house, where he found the banker in his dining room. A servant was placing lunch on the table.
Konner looked up when Ash entered. “Back already?”
“I need to talk to you about our plan.”
Konner looked pointedly down at his full plate, then back up at Ash. “We’ll talk later.”
Ash knew Konner’s delays were actually refusals; the man had no intention of discussing details if he could avoid it. Ash thought that would change once Konner heard what he had to say.
Pulling out a chair, Ash said, “I’ll get right to it, then.” He sat, earning him a look of disbelief from the servant who was on his way out. “I think we should move up our timeline.”
Konner’s eyebrows lifted, and a miniscule smirk teased the corner of his mouth. “And why is that?” he asked, buttering his roll. “Are you anxious to drink from golden wine goblets, King Relin? Perhaps you’re ready to find a pretty slave girl to peel your grapes?”
Ash drew back. “A slave girl?”
Konner laughed. “It was a figure of speech. Don’t let it trip up your high moral code.” He took a bite.
“Back to the point.” Ash cleared his throat. “I watched the councillors today. They’re excited, and they’re dedicated. We need to move soon. If we wait too long, word is bound to get out. Or one of the gray councillors may decide to challenge us.”
Konner had speared a chunk of roasted potato with his fork, but he held it above his plate without bringing it to his mouth. “You make a good point.”
“I suppose that surprises you.” The moment Ash said it, he regretted it. Antagonizing Konner wouldn’t help anything.
But Konn
er shrugged. “I’ve never doubted your intellect, merely your commitment. And I’m pleased to see you coming around.” He rang a small bell next to his plate, and a few seconds later, the servant reentered the room. “Bring food for my guest,” Konner instructed. The man nodded and left.
Konner put his fork down and looked past Ash’s shoulder, toward the window. After several seconds passed, he met Ash’s eye. “I’d like nothing more than to crown you tomorrow. But if we are to have a stable kingdom, we must take time to plan properly.”
“I’m not sure I agree,” Ash replied.
“Oh?” Konner gave him a skeptical, condescending smile.
Ash leaned forward. “Think of the epics. All the stories of war and heroes. All the people who acted without permission and without apology.” He was laying it on thick, but he had to speak Konner’s language. “All those stories have one thing in common. The heroes grasped power through chaos. And when their exploits created more chaos, they used it as an excuse to get more power.” Ash cocked his head and held Konner’s gaze. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
The servant reentered the room, setting a full plate and a glass of water in front of Ash, who nodded in acknowledgement. The man left the room.
Konner cut a bite of his lamb, dipping it in a small dish of sauce. Ash followed suit. Once he’d swallowed, Konner began to cut another piece. He glanced up at Ash. “I don’t trust you.”
Ash tried not to let his surprise show on his face. It had been clear for some time that Konner didn’t trust Ash, but he’d never said it openly.
“Your points are certainly valid,” Konner said, setting his utensils down without taking a bite. “But every time we’ve spoken recently, you’ve tried to delay or alter our plans. I’ve wondered if you’re outright sabotaging them. So forgive me if I don’t trust any suggestion that comes out of your mouth.”
Facing the Gray Page 30
