Facing the Gray

by Carol Beth Anderson

  “If we’re waiting to have everything in place, we’ll be waiting forever. Konner’s monarchy will keep getting more powerful.”

  Tavi glanced Tullen’s way and found that his eyes were already on her. “You have no way of knowing that. Maybe the longer we wait, the more they’ll sabotage themselves. Anyway, we’re making good use of our time here. I think our meeting last week was particularly helpful.”

  Tullen didn’t respond. They’d had variations of this conversation countless times in the five months since they’d arrived at the Meadow with the other Golds. Tavi wanted to defeat Konner and the other Grays as much as her friends did. But they needed a better plan than they’d had on Liberation Day.

  They’d been so naïve, thinking they could defeat the Grays with little more than felt masks and optimism. Instead, Konner had murdered most of the Cormina Council and named a king, all in the space of a couple of hours. Eventually they’d fight the Grays again, but Tavi was determined that this time they wouldn’t move until they were prepared.

  So the Golds met as often as they could, analyzing whatever news came their way. Having Ash there was enormously helpful; he frequently remembered facts about the Grays that might help in the fight against the new monarchy. His willingness to help had convinced the Golds to trust the former Gray.

  The Golds also gathered for frequent training sessions to hone their magical and combative skills. Tavi knew they were all doing everything they could to prepare for whatever was ahead.

  “Want to go to the amphitheater and get a seat?” Tullen asked.

  “Sure.” They turned onto a wide gravel road and continued walking. To their left, the wooden fence of the Meadow towered above the trees. “It’s easy to forget there are enemies out there when we’re safe behind the fence,” Tavi said.

  “That’s exactly why I was hesitant to come here,” Tullen said. “The Meadow insulates us. And when the world out there is falling apart, it’s not fair or safe for us to be insulated.”

  A cry interrupted their conversation. “Help me!”

  It came from the side of the road, and when Tavi looked that direction, she couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s Shola!” she said.

  Shola was twelve years old, and Tavi had been tutoring her in reading each week. She was a sweet girl, feisty and funny. Tavi adored her, and Shola called Tavi her “new big sister.”

  At the moment, Shola was flat on her back. One of her legs stuck out from her short dress, but she’d folded the other leg beneath her. A vast amount of real-looking blood was on her bent knee and all over the ground under her. Nearby lay half a leg, complete with a long sock and a shoe. Tavi didn’t know how the girl had made a fake leg, but she wished she’d thought of it first.

  Tavi walked right up to her and whispered, “I’ve never seen a deader dead person, Shola.” The girl tried to repress the smile that tugged at her mouth in response. Tavi laughed and returned to Tullen.

  “She won last year,” Tullen said once they’d passed. Then he looked at Tavi. “We were talking about how insulated the Meadow is.”

  “No, you were talking about that.” Tavi gave him a bright grin. “I just made a comment about the wall, and then I was going to stop talking about politics and spend an afternoon enjoying these festivities.”

  Tullen raised an eyebrow. “You know we’ll discuss this later.”

  “I’m sure we will.”

  But Tavi couldn’t stop thinking about the world outside the walls. And about the utter absurdity of living in this community that had always been a mystery to her. Finally, she gave in to her whirring thoughts. “We didn’t have a choice,” she told Tullen. “We had to come here.”

  He sighed. “I know.”

  “And we’re lucky we made it out of Savala at all.” She blew out a loud breath, shaking her head.

  “Memories?”

  When Tavi nodded, Tullen put his arm around her shoulders, giving her a brief squeeze.

  Tavi still had nightmares of the terrifying evening when three safety officers bearing hand cannons had pounded on the door of the midwife house where the Golds were staying. It was just two days after Liberation Day, when Aldin had been introduced as King Relin. The officers were searching for Tavi and her friends and also for Ash and Wrey. Tavi had heard the armed men scream at Benisa Kariana, the head midwife, demanding to come in and look through the house.

  Despite the frightening parts of the memory, Tavi grinned. She looked at Tullen and saw the same expression on his face. “Narre was amazing, wasn’t she?” she asked.

  Tullen answered with a laugh.

  Just as the officers were threatening to force their way in, Narre, in a performance that was absolutely inspired, had stood in a nearby room, crying, “It’s coming! Oh, Sava, my baby’s coming!” She’d included loud, groaning cries, the sounds of a mother pushing her child into the world. Thanks to months of living in a midwife house, the mimicry was spot on.

  All three safety officers had left in a hurry—but not before showing the midwife several posters with hand-drawn portraits of all the Golds, plus Ash and Wrey. The likenesses varied in quality, but when Tavi and her friends had heard about the posters, which were being distributed in Savala and around Cormina, they’d known they had to leave.

  “You’re right,” Tullen said after they’d walked a little farther. “Coming here was our only option.”

  They’d considered other places. Oren was out of the question, now that they were wanted. Tavi and her friends couldn’t even write to their families, much less travel there. Their posters would be put up in other cities, where kingdom loyalists would be all too happy to turn in supposed traitors. They’d discussed fleeing to the mountains or forest, but they didn’t want to lose touch with what was happening in the new kingdom.

  The Meadow was safe since it was a closed community, separated from the rest of the country. Yet it maintained some connection to other parts of Cormina through trade. Tullen and Jenevy, both former Meadow Dwellers, had predicted the gate guards would turn the Golds away. They’d tried anyway, and the elders had surprised them by letting them stay.

  Tavi and Tullen approached the Meadow amphitheater. Seeing the number of people entering with them, Tavi said, “Maybe we should’ve come earlier.”

  But as they surveyed the tiered rows of stone seats, Tullen spotted Reba, Narre, Sall, and Ash sitting about halfway up. They’d saved seats with bags and scarves. Tullen waved, and he and Tavi climbed up. Once there, Tavi greeted Narre and Sall, nodded to Reba, and ignored Ash. Within a quarter hour, Jenevy and Wrey arrived too.

  The spectators quieted when a tall, middle-aged woman strode onto the stage below. She wore a flowing dress in a colorful, striped fabric, and her hair fell past her waist. With a wide, joyous smile, she welcomed the crowd and introduced the first act.

  “That’s Tullen’s aunt,” Tavi whispered to Narre.

  “His real aunt, or just a woman about the same age as his parents?” Narre whispered back. The definitions of family relationships were quite broad in the Meadow.

  “His real aunt, his mother’s real sister. Her name is Bellika. She’s one of the newer elders.”

  When Bellika finished her introduction, the Golds settled in to watch performers of all ages telling the story of autumn through dance and song.

  At one point, a female dancer several years younger than Tavi entered the stage. She wore a bright-green robe. Her song began with light, animated music, and her dancing reflected the same mood. Soon the girl removed her robe, revealing a bright yellow dress. The music slowed a little but remained cheerful and warm.

  As the act continued, the song took on a more somber tone. The girl peeled off her dress. Underneath she wore a shirt and pants in shades of orange, red, and brown. Tavi smiled. At last, another girl wearing pants! At the end, even the pants and shirt came off, revealing a black layer that was tighter than any clothing Tavi had ever seen in public. The color was echoed in the mournful notes of the song.


  The girl ended by kneeling on the stage. Then the music burst back into a bright melody again, and two dozen young children in green costumes danced onto the stage and surrounded her, hiding her from sight.

  “Death has never been more beautiful,” Tavi whispered to Tullen.

  He smiled. “Death and life.” He put his arm around her shoulders and kept it there.

  A moment later, Tavi caught Narre staring at her. Narre shifted her eyes to give Tullen’s arm a pointed glance. Then she looked back at Tavi, one brow lifted, the hint of a scold in her smirk.

  Tavi smiled at her cousin. She was very aware of the arm draped over her, its solidity and warmth. Nothing wrong with sitting close to a friend, she told herself.

  She scooted closer to Tullen and returned her attention to the stage.

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  About the Author

  Carol Beth Anderson is a native of Arizona and now lives in Leander, TX, outside Austin. She has a husband, two kids, a miniature schnauzer, and more fish than anyone knows what to do with. Besides writing, she loves baking sourdough bread, knitting, and eating cookies and cream ice cream.

  Acknowledgments

  One thing I’ve grown to love about writing books is the support my community gives me. It’s time to express a little portion of my big gratitude!

  My alpha readers took time to read the book, or portions of it, in its early, unrevised form. Thank you to my mom Cathy Norris and my sister Becki Norris. My kids, Ana and Eli, also read portions of the book and listened to me read some of it aloud. I love getting their feedback.

  For me, one of the most crucial steps in writing a book is sending the revised manuscript to beta readers, who give me feedback on content, grammar, and more. I can’t say enough about how helpful my beta readers are, and their fingerprints are all over these pages. Thank you to Stephanie Curtner, Dick Carroll, Kim Decker, Brenda Elliott, Matthew Fleming, Leah Hodges, my twin sister Becki Norris, DeDe Pollnow, Renee Thompson, Toni Wall, and Nicole Wells. Special thanks to Madysun Waldrop, who came in after this round of beta reading was over and still sent me the sweetest emails about how I was making her cry. Call me cruel, but I loved hearing that!

  Some of my newsletter subscribers suggested character names to me that ended up in this book! (Psst…sign up for the newsletter at carolbethanderson.com.) Thanks, all! I’ll list the name of the person who gave each suggestion, followed by the character name(s) they suggested in parentheses. Thanks to Jamie Brown (Veylen), Deann Flores (Jenevy), Jenny Hendrickson (Norbin), Damian Karlson (Amonel), Shelia Keiser (Aba, Revinee), Emma Grace Kramer (Yamah), Monique Nadeau (Nydine), and Renee Thompson (Wrey).

  Sonnet Fitzgerald, thank you for being my editor and making me a better writer in the process!

  Mariah Sinclair, the cover is beautiful, and I love the story behind Tavi’s coat. Thank you!

  In English AP in high school, my teacher, John Pothast, told me I was verbose. Once he told me what that meant, I knew he was right. My writing is immeasurably better since I’ve spent the last 20+ years fighting that tendency. Thank you, Mr. Pothast!

  I have friends who love me when I’m imperfect . . . which is all the time. Thank you, friends.

  I’ve had as many questions about faith as Tavi does, and God has stayed faithful to me. Thank you to the One who made me and loves me.

  And to you . . . thank you for reading my books, whoever you are!

  -Carol Beth Anderson

  Leander, Texas

  2018