by C. M. Boers
“Amazing, but that’s so not the point.”
“I knew it! And yes, it’s the only point. If it was bad, you wouldn’t be calling me.”
She was right, of course. If the kiss had been terrible, that would have made all of this so much easier. I could have walked away, gone back to work like nothing happened.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“What I’m saying is, the decision was already made. Are you going to be able to go back to the way things were before? Working with Cindy and pretending not to know who’s behind that office door?”
“No.”
“Okay, then all you have to do is decide if you can work under him or not . . . and I don’t mean in the bedroom.” She giggled again.
“Grace!”
“What? He’s gorgeous.”
“I know.” I bit my lip.
And I did. I knew only too well how good he looked. Those green eyes hadn’t left my mind.
“So?” Grace asked.
“So, I don’t know. It would be so weird. And what would Cindy think? I don’t want to be that girl. Heck, I didn’t even want to date in the first place. I mean, it feels like yesterday I broke up with Jeremy. How am I supposed to just cast that away like it never happened?”
“Jeremy? Psh, he’s got nothing on Jack.”
I shook my head. “This is exactly what I’d been hoping to avoid when I first met him.”
“At the club?” Grace asked. “It’s not like it’s been that long . . .”
“No. I already knew him when you ‘introduced’ us at the club. I told you that at the time.”
She was silent for a moment. “Wait, now you’ve lost me.”
I sighed. “You were so focused on Alex to hear, I think. I met Jack the day I was called for the interview. He introduced himself at the coffeehouse.”
“And?”
“And nothing. I tried to avoid him every chance I could. He even ran into me once, knocked me flat on my butt. But he kept showing up! Then you came into the picture.”
“It’s a good thing I did! Why would you avoid all that goodness?” she all but yelled into the phone.
“You know why. It’s just too complicated with . . . with everything.”
She groaned. “When are you just going to start living and put it all behind you? I thought that was the point of moving in the first place?”
“Yes and no. I don’t need a date, let alone a boyfriend, in order to move on.”
“Then is it even moving on? To me, it sounds like only half a life.”
“But what if that’s enough for me?”
“Then you’re lying to yourself. I’ve got to go, I’ve got therapy in the morning, and this convo turned sad fast. I’m hoping I get a call from you very soon with really good news, that’s all I’m going to say.”
I rolled my eyes. “Uh huh, bye.”
Ugh. For the first time, Grace had done nothing but make me feel more wound up.
I needed something to calm me. I headed for the kitchen and grabbed a mug.
Five minutes later, I breathed in the soothing aroma of my favorite cinnamon tea as I sank to the floor pillow by the window.
I really need to get a couch.
A soft knock sounded on the door. I stared at it for a moment, nervous about who it could be this late at night.
I set the mug down on the floor and padded to the door, hoping not to be heard, just in case I decided not to answer.
Peeking through the peephole, I saw Jack standing there, his hands in his pockets, and my stomach dropped.
Slowly, my fingers found the lock, and I pulled the door open.
“Hey,” I said. “Is something wrong?”
“Can I come in?”
I looked back and forth between his eyes. The worry in them had me pushing the door open faster than I could blink.
He made his way into the living room. I followed him in but passed him to sit back where I’d been before he’d knocked. He seemed to question where to sit, and I tossed him a floor pillow.
“Haven’t taken the time to buy a couch.”
“I’m sorry to just drop in like this. I couldn’t let things go after you ran out like that. Did I take things too far?”
Oh, man. This was happening. We were going to get real, fast. I’d hoped to avoid this at least until morning, when I’d had a little more time to process, but here it was. Standing in front of me in dress slacks and a button-down shirt.
Breathing in the steam, I took a sip of my tea.
“No. You didn’t.”
“Why did you run out like that?”
I focused my sight into the mug, though I still felt his eyes on me.
“Melanie.” His voice was soft.
“I didn’t know what to say. I tried really hard not to let things go there . . . I failed.”
“Failed? That’s how you see this?”
“That didn’t come out right.”
“Do you mean because you work for me? Because that’s not an issue for—”
I put my hand up, cutting him off. “Yes, but that’s not the only reason. I didn’t plan to get involved with anyone, especially so soon. That’s why I avoided you before . . .” I looked into his eyes, hoping he would understand.
“You were avoiding me?”
“I tried to. My curiosity about you scared me, not to mention the attraction.” I blushed. “I just can’t commit to a relationship right now.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated.”
His lips went tight. “And you aren’t ready to talk about it, right?”
I didn’t lift my gaze from the floor and twitched my head from side to side.
I’m not ready for you to look at me differently. Like I’m broken. The words screamed in my head, yet I refused to say them. Refused to let him see the me that was only half there. The guilt of not coming clean ate at me, and my stomach churned.
He reached over and grasped my hand between his fingers. “Look, I don’t know what you’ve been through; however, I can tell by the haunted look in your eyes, it’s not been easy. I know we don’t know each other very well yet. I’d like to be there for you in any way you’ll let me.” He reached over and lifted my chin, making me look at him. “I know I’m your boss and that freaks you out, but it doesn’t bother me, and I’m almost certain if Cindy knew, she’d be ecstatic. She’s been trying to fix me up with someone forever.”
I bit my lip.
“I’m going to leave this in your court. If you felt even half of what I did from that kiss . . .” He let that thought hang in the air. “I really would like to give this a try.”
When I didn’t answer, he dropped my hand and stood. His eyes were everywhere, except on me.
“I’ll go. But please, think about it?”
I lifted my eyes to meet his gaze again when his voice cracked with his last words. Only for the briefest moments did he hold it, and then he strode out of my house.
My heart urged me to go after him, to do something, anything, except sit here, dumbstruck. But I didn’t.
I listened to his car door close and the engine turn over, and I settled deeper into the cushion against the wall.
Putting my cup to my mouth, I didn’t plan to move from this spot until I knew exactly what to do.
* * *
A car honking outside jolted me awake. My arm smacked into the mug, spewing the water I’d refilled it with everywhere.
“Crap.”
As I lifted myself off the hardwood floor, every joint and muscle screamed in pain.
Why had I thought staying here would be the best idea?
I reached for my phone, searching for the time. It was bathing in the water.
“Double crap.”
I jumped up and ran to the kitchen for a towel, saw the time on the stove, and freaked.
“I’m late!”
I threw on the first work-appropriate clothes I found and flew out the door. It wasn’t until I pulled into
work and saw Jack’s car that the night before came back into focus. My heart sank. Even though I’d made up my mind before drifting off to sleep sometime late last night, I worried about the backlash it could have. Though, hope and excitement for what could be had wound itself around all that worry, creating a knot of emotion as big as a boulder in the pit of my stomach.
What would Cindy think? Would we even tell her?
But when I made my way inside, it was like nothing had changed. Though, I don’t know what I expected. A stack of files waited for me, just like every other morning. Cindy and Jack were more than likely holed away in his office, working.
By lunchtime, I was beginning to wonder if I’d even see anyone today. Cindy hadn’t emerged from the office once, and I’d finished all my work long before. The book I’d kept in my purse for times like now kept my mind from spinning on what Jack was thinking.
Had he changed his mind? Was he avoiding me? Or was he just working like normal? This was why office romances didn’t work, I chastised myself.
I’d lost myself in the book when Jack cleared his throat beside me, making me jump out of my skin.
“H-hey.” I stood quickly, dropping my book on the desk.
“Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t made it out until now. I’ve been on conference calls all morning, and Cindy called in sick. Couldn’t have possibly been a worse day for it. I’ve been scrambling.” He rubbed his forehead and blew out a breath. “It’s just been one thing after another. Do you want to grab some lunch? I really need to get out of this office.”
His green eyes sparkled down at me, and if by nothing more than magical force, I rose up on my toes and pressed my lips to his. It was gentle at first, and then Jack’s arms pulled me in. His lips were as warm and inviting as his arms. I settled into him, deepening the kiss. A soft moan escaped and muffled against his lips.
He pulled back with a grin that spread all the way to his eyes. “Please tell me that means you’ve decided to give us a go.”
A simple nod was all it took for him to lift me into his arms and plant another quick kiss on my lips.
“You have no idea how happy that makes me.”
* * *
It was two days before Cindy came back to work, and for those couple days working together, just the two of us, it was like living in a little blissful bubble. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop the worry of what Cindy would think when she came back, even though I didn’t know when that would be.
I’d come to enjoy working with Jack, and what seemed to be our new routine. He always stopped by the coffeehouse to pick up coffee on the way, so I couldn’t complain. I took a sip just as Cindy walked in. The vulnerability of being the first one to see her, the guilt weighed me down like concrete. My mind spun, thinking she surely must know something. Darn Jack for hiding out in his office, leaving me to face her alone.
“Good morning, Melanie.”
“Morning.”
“Thanks for holding down the fort while I was sick. Worst flu of my life! Couldn’t keep anything down.”
“Oh, bummer. Glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me too.”
Then she made her way into his office, just like every other day, and I felt ridiculous. Surely, she wouldn’t know anything just by looking at me. I shook my head. You’re so dumb.
However, with her being in his office, he would tell her. Wouldn’t he?
I bit my nail. How soon would he tell her? I was on edge all day, wondering at what point she would come out knowing.
At lunchtime, Jack ordered lunch to be delivered. Pasta. Except when it arrived, he hooked his finger to me, inviting me into his office. It was something we’d done every day while Cindy was gone. Now that she was back, I hadn’t expected it to continue.
Cindy smiled at me as I settled myself on his couch, full plate in hand. It was when Jack came over and sat beside me that her eyebrows lifted and her expression changed. Guiltily, I looked at my plate.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Cindy, I’d like you to meet my new girlfriend.” The smiled that encompassed Jack’s face as he stared down at me made my stomach flop.
“When did this happen?”
“Two days ago,” he said.
“Wow. I knew there was something different about you this morning, Jack. You were too . . . happy.”
“Sheesh. You make me sound like a grump!”
“You are a grump! But I’m happy for you guys. I guess this means she’ll be coming to the barbecue this weekend?”
He turned to me. “The barbecue. I almost forgot about that. Yes. I certainly hope so.”
I held the glass casserole dish filled with cheesy potatoes between my hip and arm as I gawked at Jack’s house, far larger and rustic than I expected. It sat between huge pines and was surrounded by forest in every direction. His closest neighbor was probably a quarter-mile away. The views from the second-story windows must be stunning. I envisioned the trees capped with snow come winter and couldn’t wait to see the beauty.
Then I realized what that meant. I was already planning my future to be with this man. And for the first time in a long time, it didn’t scare me. Though, knowing I still had a big part of me even I didn’t know made me question whether he would still see that future if he knew.
I could hear voices coming from the back yard and spotted the open gate. Jack had been vague about who would be here today, but I figured I’d be meeting his friends. The butterflies, the friends I never leave home without lately, had made their presence known once again in the pit of my stomach.
His back yard was nothing like I would have expected. One long table lined with a crisp white table cloth, with assorted river rocks in the center, surrounding white candles. Way more elegant than the normal barbecue I thought I’d be going to, and nothing like I would have expected from Jack.
Jack stood on the deck next to the grill. I giggled seeing him in an apron. It took only a few moments for him to spot me. He waved me over as he lifted the lid of the grill and checked on the chicken.
There were so many people, only two of which I knew. I made my way quickly over to Jack, setting the casserole down at the food table on the way. I was just steps away when a tall blonde stepped in my way.
“Who are you?” she demanded.
“I, uh . . .” I tried to look around her to catch Jack’s eye, but he was focused on the grill.
“Hello?” She bent down, putting her face in front of mine.
“M-melanie.” The stutter in my voice made me wince. Why couldn’t I be more like Grace? So in your face, without a care what you think.
“Well, I’m sorry, Melanie, this is my party. I think you might be lost.”
I had no idea who this woman was, but I didn’t have a single nice feeling towards her. Though, deep inside me, I had an innate drive to be polite. After all, I was at Jack’s house, for the first time.
“I’m not lost. I’m here with Jack.”
At this, the woman burst out laughing, turning back towards Jack. “Jack,” she said through her laughter. “This girl says she’s here with you. Isn’t that just the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?”
Her loud voice carried over everyone else at the party. I froze, feeling every single eye land on me, their conversations stalled. Jack stepped around the rude woman in front of me and put his arm around me.
“Oh good, I see you’ve met Melanie. Everyone, this is my girlfriend.” He kissed me quickly on the cheek before he pulled me over to the grill.
My nerves were still rattling. He grasped both my hands in his and gave me a long, tender kiss that had me melting. Every nerve relaxed.
“Ignore my sister,” he whispered. “Her name’s Bianca. I don’t think she took the time to introduce herself. She’s getting married in a few months. She’s been a bit of a bridezilla lately, and, well, I don’t bring girls home, so I think you were a bit of a shock.”
I couldn’t decide if I should be upset he didn’t tell me
he never brought girls to meet his family or inform me I’d be meeting his family in the first place.
I turned back to look at the tall blonde again. His sister. I’d never been more grateful to have that inner voice telling me to be polite. I really would have made a fool of myself if I’d have told her off. Phew.
Now that I looked more closely at her, I could see some resemblance. She had Jack’s green eyes and that same sneaky grin. Other than that, she was all her own.
From the moment I stepped next to Jack, a steady flow of people came to meet me. It was clear I was meeting just about everybody who was important in Jack’s life, and many who weren’t and were only there with the groom. Though, from what I’d managed to gather, the groom and bride’s families had known each other for a long time.
Then, just as I thought I’d met everyone, an older couple stepped up in front of us. From the loving yet inquisitive look on the woman’s face, I guessed she could only be one person.
“Hello,” she said, looking from me to Jack. “I’m Ruth, Jack’s mother.”
“Hi,” I said quickly.
“James, the dad.” He winked and extended his hand, which I took.
“This is Melanie,” Jack said, introducing me. “My girlfriend.”
Warmth crept to my cheeks. I’d forgotten to tell them my name. I smiled sheepishly at them.
His mom leaned in and embraced me, very lightly. “I’m so glad to meet you.”
Jack interrupted my response, announcing the food was ready. His mom and dad nodded to me and headed to the table.
When everyone had taken their seats, he pulled all the chicken from the grill, and I took the opportunity to ask him what I’d been wondering since I walked in.
“What is this barbecue for?” It was something I probably should have asked before, but I’d assumed it was just for fun.
“It’s sort of an engagement party,” he whispered. “It’s a little late in the game though. It took some time to plan for when they would both be in the country.”
I nodded.
“Help me bring the food to the table?”
“Sure.”
The last two chairs at the table were meant for us, and I made sure to grab the one next to Cindy.
