Grandpa died ten years ago.
And Grams was slowly finding her way to meet him again.
The first time cancer reared its ugly head, Grams fought it off. She retired from her accounting career, beat cancer, and had a new outlook on life. The woman who never spent a dime finally decided to treat herself.
It was a good time for her, and sadly all good times had to come to an end.
For Grams, it was another cancer diagnosis.
This one… there was nothing that could be done.
It was the kind of cancer that just spread and would eventually take her life.
Which meant I now had a front row seat to watch the woman who raised me slowly die.
I sipped the tea and blinked fast.
I had put a little too much whiskey in this one.
Oops.
Or not.
My life was nothing but a juggling act.
Grams needed round the clock care. So when I wasn’t home, there were nurses there to take care of her. She was stubborn and fierce and still tried to do as much as she could for herself. Which often put her in a position where she needed help. Sometimes she was able to walk to the bathroom. Sometimes she couldn’t even stand.
Each day was a new adventure.
There were days she slept all day.
Other days she listened to music and sang songs and told stories that could make anyone laugh and cry.
But we all knew where it was going.
There wasn’t much time at all for her.
It could end up being another six months. Or six days.
Or six hours.
I sipped the tea again and leaned forward and touched Grams’s arm.
“Love you,” I whispered. “Get some sleep.”
Grams’s eyes opened. “Wren.”
“Hey.”
“Is that my tea?”
“Uh… no. I made it for myself. I knew you’d fall asleep.”
“What did you put in it?”
“Milk and sugar,” I said.
“Wren?”
“Yeah, Grams?”
“I can smell the whiskey on your breath,” she said and she smiled.
I laughed. “That too. I learned that trick from someone.”
“How about giving me a sip of that?” Grams asked.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. You can’t mix alcohol with your meds. You know that.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said.
She pushed her hands against the bed and slowly moved.
My instinct was to jump up and help her.
But she would have smacked my hands away.
Grams got herself comfortable and let out a deep breath.
“How do you feel?” I asked.
“Cancerous,” she said.
“Grams…”
“Oh, come on. Have a joke with me.”
“Not about that,” I said.
“Just sip that tea and you’ll be telling dirty jokes soon enough.”
“I’m not like you, Grams,” I said.
“Oh, yes, you are,” she said. She looked at me and her blue eyes were so bright. “You’re just like me. You work too much, Wren.”
“Are we having this conversation again?” I asked.
“Yes, we are,” Grams said. “I have life lessons to pass along to you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. Don’t wait to live.”
“You got married at twenty.”
She waved a hand. “Your grandfather and I worked so much we lost ourselves for a little while. We had two kids and just worked. I blame myself for everything.”
“Grams…”
“What?” she asked in a snippy voice.
“My mother walked out of our lives for another man and that was her decision,” I said. “Why think about it now? And I know Uncle Don was your only son, and I’m so sorry for what happened to him. But he passed doing what he loved, right?”
Grams nodded.
She wanted her family near her as she slowly died.
Her husband was gone.
Her only son - my Uncle Don - died in a plane accident over a lake.
And my mother vanished when I was five and was never heard from again.
I had tried to find her in the last few months but couldn’t.
“You have me,” I said. “Am I not good enough?”
“Oh, don’t you guilt trip me, Wren,” Grams said.
I stood up, leaned over her and kissed her forehead. “Too late.”
“Why do you work so much?” she asked.
“What?”
“Wren… you need to find someone.”
“Oh, Grams…”
“Just listen to me,” she said. “Your grandfather and I had a plan and nobody cares about your plans. Whether you believe in God or the universe or anything, they don’t care about your plans. If I was a better mother, maybe your mother wouldn’t have ran out on her family. Maybe Donny wouldn’t have gone looking for thrills.”
“No, Grams. That’s not true at all.”
“To me, it is. And I see you… you deserve to give yourself to someone who loves you. Who will take you on adventures in life and in the bedroom.”
“Grams!” I yelled.
“Please,” she said. “Now don’t get me wrong, if you want to sleep around and swipe on your phone for a booty call, go ahead…”
“How in the world do you know the terms you’re saying?” I asked.
“I watch TV all day long,” she said. “I’m up to date on these new terms. I know what that swiping crap means.”
I laughed. “I love you so much, Grams.”
“I know you think I’m just a crazy, dying woman here…”
“I would never think that,” I said.
“Then get a man,” she said. “Settle down. Live happily. I know you love the lawyer thing. I’m so proud of you for what you’ve done. But that can’t define you.”
“So, let me get this straight,” I said. “You want me to just find some guy and marry him, right? That would make you happy, right?”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” Grams said with a smile.
“Marriage?”
“Hey, I don’t have much time left here,” she said. “So you might have to speed things up. Maybe you should get your nipples pierced or get some sexy thongs?”
“Grams,” I said.
“What?” she asked.
I started to blush.
Her age and illness took away any sense of a filter.
“Can I get you anything to eat or drink?” I asked.
“I’m fine. I’m tired. Finish your tea. No swiping tonight, Wren. Let someone into your heart before your pants.”
“I’ll get that made into a sign and hang it above my bed,” I said.
Grams’s eyes slowly shut.
She smiled.
I loved seeing her smile before she fell asleep.
I couldn’t imagine the pain she must have felt.
My eyes filled with tears.
I sat back down in my chair and watched her sleep.
I drank my whiskey-laced tea.
And when I looked at my phone, I didn’t do any swiping.
In fact, I didn’t even have any of those apps on my phone.
I was in my thirties, worked long hours as a lawyer, and took care of my dying grandmother. My diet sucked, giving me new curves that I didn’t ask for.
I wasn’t exactly the catch of the year.
I knew that all Grams wanted was for me to be happy. She knew that when she passed, I would submerge myself into even more work to hide my grief.
And my loneliness.
She was too smart.
And I was already missing her, even though she wasn’t gone yet.
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Grams and Bethany talking.
Bethany was my favorite nurse.
Ever meet someone who just radiated happiness?
That was Bethany.
/> Even in the worst of circumstances, taking care of people who were going to die, she just gave off such a good vibe.
It also didn’t hurt that when she came over, she always made coffee and brought breakfast.
She was the one who went above and beyond.
It was like she was a part of the family.
My dream place had been an apartment right in the heart of LA.
I wanted to overlook everything.
I wanted to see it all and feel a part of it all.
But when Grams cancer diagnosis came back what it was, we all knew she couldn’t continue to live in the house she and Grandpa had lived in and I knew my dream of a fancy, high-rise apartment was off the table.
She sold the house to a young family. A couple with a two-year-old son and a daughter on the way.
Grams got teary eyed when she handed them the keys, knowing the house was going to be filled with new memories.
That was one of the biggest moments of my life that I felt I let her down. If I had been married with kids, she would have just given me the house. Or we would have worked something out to have her stay there. Built her an addition…
But it wasn’t relevant now.
With the money from the house, I helped Grams buy a nice ranch-style house.
One story, big bedrooms, close rooms, everything she needed.
I walked toward the bedroom and Grams was in rare form.
“You tell your daughter to tell that son of a bitch to pick up a sponge and wash a dish,” Grams yelled.
“That’s what I keep telling her,” Bethany said. “I wouldn’t tolerate that.”
“Well, has she cut off his supply?” Grams asked.
“Supply?” Bethany asked.
“Sex,” Grams said.
I shut my eyes and cringed.
Bethany laughed. “You’re a mean one.”
“No, I’m not,” Grams said. “You can’t wash a dish, you’re not getting a piece of this ass.”
Bethany laughed harder.
I stepped into the doorway. “Grams. We need to censor the channels you’re watching.”
“Oh, stop,” Grams said. “You believe this, Wren? Bethany’s beautiful daughter is engaged to this creep who won’t wash a dish.”
“Good morning, Bethany,” I said.
“Morning, Wren,” Bethany said.
“I’m telling you, Bethany,” Grams said. “You tell your daughter to go on a sex strike. She can take care of herself, right?”
“I’m getting coffee,” I said.
I went to the kitchen and put my phone on the counter.
It was blowing up already.
I had a lucrative corporate law job that never ended.
I scrolled through some new emails and sipped some coffee.
When Bethany entered the kitchen, I pushed my phone away.
“She’s in rare form,” Bethany said.
“Sorry about that. She’s on a kick right now… the words she’s using…”
“I’m just glad she has the energy she does,” Bethany said.
“Me too. How long are you here until?”
“I grabbed the long shift,” she said with a smile. “I’ll be here until four.”
“That’s great.”
“You know, she kept talking about you. She wants you married off.”
“I know she does. She thinks it’s so easy to do. That I’m supposed to just grab a guy off the street and marry him.”
“She just wants you happy when she’s gone,” Bethany said.
I nodded. “That I know too.”
“It’s not my business…”
“Of course it is,” I said with a smile.
“I want you happy too,” Bethany said. “There’s a good man out there for you, Wren. He’ll take on your life. You don’t need to wait or hide.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “I need to get ready for work.”
I showered, dressed, kissed Grams goodbye, and left the house.
I always cried when I left the house because I was afraid it was the last time I’d see Grams alive.
We all knew one of these days it was going to be the truth.
My day was a flurry of phone calls, emails, paperwork, copies, contracts, edits, arguments, a quick lunch that was takeout at my desk with a diet soda, and a pounding headache that reared its ugly head just after one in the afternoon.
That’s when I stepped away from my desk for more than thirty seconds.
I looked out the window to the city and took a deep breath.
I loved my job.
I loved my life.
I really did.
There was always a sense of wanting more, but that was just human nature.
My mind began to dig a little deeper, teetering on the edge of an existential crisis.
That’s when I heard the voices of Lola, Audrey, and Nia.
They were like catty high school girls sometimes when they all got to talking at the same time.
Funny enough, we met in high school, became best friends, and stuck together through all the craziness that life threw our way.
Audrey and I went to college together. She went for PR and I went for all the pre-law fun stuff. I went to law school and she got a job wearing tight dresses, saving people from themselves. That’s where she met Keith. He started a tech company that came under fire for some of its overseas practices. Keith hired Audrey and then he married her.
Lola was always the freethinking, wild one. She opened her own yoga studio right out of high school and now ran three all across the city. She even had a mobile yoga center that she took to retirement homes, rehab centers, and other places. Her story is as adorable as they come. She ran over a guy’s foot with her truck. Then she blamed the guy for having his foot in the way.
In case you didn’t guess it yet - they’re married.
Finally, there was Nia.
Thankfully for Nia her father was a high-profile music guy, meaning he had a ton of money. Nia changed her mind in life like people changed their shoes. And even that… she would take extra pairs of shoes with her to change into while we were out at places.
College for her was seven years of changing classes and majors. Everything from business to writing, until she finally escaped with some kind of social sciences degree.
She helped manage her father’s company.
In other words - here’s an office, file some paperwork, and, yes, you have a career.
I had walked back to my desk by the time they entered my office.
“There she is!” Lola cried out.
“Why are you all so jumpy?” I asked. “Did you call me and I didn’t answer?”
“No,” Audrey said. “We wanted to tell you-”
“I’m getting married!” Nia shouted.
“What?” I asked.
“I thought I was going to tell her,” Audrey said.
“It’s my marriage,” Nia said.
“You’re getting married?” I asked.
Nia and I sort of had this silent pact to keep men at a distance, unless it was in the bedroom.
Nia bounced her way to my desk, beaming with excitement.
She showed me her left hand and there was a big ol’ diamond on her finger.
“Oh, wow,” I said. “That’s huge.”
“Tell me about it,” she said. “Jack just… I’m still in shock.”
“Jack,” I said. “You just met him last month.”
“So?” Audrey asked.
“When you know, you know,” Lola said. “I knew with Tyson right away.”
“You just didn’t want him to sue you for running him over,” Audrey said.
“I didn’t run him over,” Lola said.
“Wait, wait,” I said. “Nia. You’re getting married. That’s… amazing.”
“Right?” she yelled back at me.
“Tell her the best part,” Lola said.
“What’s better than this?” I asked.
Nia
reached across the desk and grabbed my hands. “I’m getting married… this weekend.”
They all squealed.
“What?” I yelled. “How… I thought…”
“We don’t want a big thing,” Nia said. “Why bother, right? We just want to do it. Get it over with. I swear, Wren, this is so real for me. I’m so happy right now.”
I was in shock.
Maybe Grams is right. I can just grab some guy and marry him…
“I’m so happy for you,” I said.
“I’m the maid of honor,” Lola said.
“No way,” Audrey said. “I am.”
“Why would she choose you?” Lola asked.
“Uh, I was the one there for her when she thought she was pregnant by the biker guy. Remember?”
“So what?” Lola asked. “I was there the night she met Jack. I even pointed him out.”
“You thought Jack was looking at you,” I said.
“Shut up, Wren,” Lola said.
“Everyone shut up,” Nia said. “You’re all my maids of honor. We’re doing this our way. Screw tradition.”
“Okay, now tell her the even better part,” Lola said.
“There’s more to this?” I asked.
“We’re doing it in Vegas,” Nia said. “We’re all flying out there. That includes you. So pack a bag and take some time off.”
“Nia… I can’t…”
“Yes, you can,” Nia said. “It’s my wedding. Grams will be fine. It’s just for two days. Okay? Two days. One night. Simple. Please, Wren…”
They all looked at me like the way dogs did in a pet shop.
Big, sad eyes.
Begging me.
“Of course, I’ll be there,” I said.
They all began to cheer.
My mind went into planning mode.
I had to get some contracts done. I had to call Bethany and see about keeping her at the house. I had to talk to Grams. I had to…
I looked at Nia as she held her hand out, staring at the ring.
I had to…
She was the third friend to get married.
I had to…
I was just kind of hanging around. Taking care of Grams. Avoiding my own life.
I had to…
I had to find a way to not be jealous over this crazy proposal and quick marriage.
3
JAY
The five of us paced around Toby’s big office.
A FILTHY Marriage (Filthy Line Book 4) Page 2
