I lifted my free hand to my mouth, biting down on my thumb to keep myself from gasping. My toes curled in the freshly washed sheets, and I could feel myself curling up — arching forward to be closer to the pleasure as it rippled through my thighs and my stomach. My hand quickened, and my breath caught around my thumb as I bit down; the last vestige of his scent in my memory crowded in, lingering in the air around me.
Come, Vaughn said. I imagined his voice, as clear and convincing as if he’d really been there, and tipped with eager, obedient pleasure over the brink, spilling for him into the now-warmth of my hand.
I swallowed, stirring a few uncounted moments later to reach for tissues at the side of the bed. Like Sutton said, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world just to play with him. Even being next to him was a treat. Still, there was some part of me, not even buried too far beneath the surface, that needed him to care for me — hoped that if he didn’t, I’d never finish for him again.
5
Vaughn
Despite all the strange feelings it had stirred up, it was genuinely exciting to meet Kylie — and, if I was being honest, even more so to run into Finley at the bar. Over texts, he was sweet and eager, full of charm and chatter that had me looking forward to every text. Clearly, he liked me to some degree. I’d be lying if I said otherwise. But it was one thing waking up to see him on my screen: Good morning! Sun’s so bright today. I hope it’s warm for you too ♥ It was another thing entirely seeing him in person at Tuck It, where it was impossible to ignore the way in which he wanted me, and the intensity of that feeling.
I’d never admit it to Owen or Ryker, of course, but it kind of excited me. Here was a depth of emotion I hadn’t felt in a long time. Sure, I still doubted that it would come to anything more than a few playful rolls between the sheets, but it was nice to have an oasis of fun in the landscape of Blackwater right now, when every other direction I faced reminded me of how alone I was.
With all this excitement swirling, I had entirely forgotten that Saturday was a special day too. This would be my first full moon pack run since Ryker’s ascension.
(Did you know it’s Ryker’s first full moon soon?? Finley had texted. He must be so excited. I’m already planning what to wear and it’s not me on show!)
It would be my first in way too long, in truth. Away in Helena, where most of my colleagues were human, it was easy to start to feel like one myself. Coming home and reconnecting with my pack and my fur was more than routine. It was self-care — mental health management. It was the most spiritual part of my otherwise pretty grounded life.
For this reason alone, I was willing to admit the stars had aligned for me. I was here for this full moon run. I was due to hang out with Fin. Could it be coincidence that the fates had given us this perfect opportunity to do something vulnerable and special with each other? To nudge us together at a time when we were most open and connected to our instincts?
I’d never admit this to my friends either, of course. Frankly, thirty minutes into the future, thoughts like these would probably make me smirk at myself too — but for now, I was content to lean into it.
Sure, I thought, looking out of the motel window into the mid-morning sun. Okay, cosmos. I’ll take the bait.
I pictured Fin’s face as I called him, remembering the look of wordless arousal that had washed over him at the bar last night. Maybe that was unfair of me; I certainly wouldn’t have done it without so many beers to encourage me. He clearly hadn’t been prepared for a shameless display of sexuality like that, or to moderate his reaction to it. Still, his innocence amused me and endeared me to him. I knew he’d be blushing right now as he saw my name lighting up his screen, and I couldn’t get enough of that thought.
“Hi!” Fin’s voice was high-pitched, and worlds away from the casual tone I figured he was trying to strike. I could practically hear his heartbeat down the phone, and grinned into the receiver. Could he hear that, just as easily as I could hear how flustered he was?
“Hi, stranger,” I said, leaning against the window frame. “You have a good time last night?”
“Thank you, yes.” I could hear him pacing, and closed my eyes to picture him — the sunlight reflecting off that white-blond hair, and the pink flush in his lips as he bit them. “Uh… yes. We did. And you? You three?”
I hoped he wasn’t too embarrassed at how stumbling and unsure he sounded. Sure, it wasn’t exactly smooth, but it did stroke my ego. He found me so appealing that he could barely string a sentence together without tripping all over it. Wouldn’t anyone be charmed by that?
“Yeah, we had a good time catching up,” I answered with ease. “I’m sure you guessed by the name, even if you didn’t already know, but Ry’s my cousin. We don’t get to see each other much now, especially with the whole… you know. Position of authority thing.”
“Well, I’m glad you could yesterday.”
“Me too.” I cleared my throat, surprised to feel how dry my throat was. How long had it been since I last had a glass of water? Surely not that long. “I’m looking forward to seeing you this weekend, too.”
“Oh,” he said, sounding much like he’d just received the most heartfelt gift imaginable. I liked to think I was untouchable, but even my chest flipped a little at that unbridled and pure happiness. “I am, too! To seeing you. Very much.”
“That’s good,” I assured him. “So, I’m also looking forward to the pack run tonight. Are you going?”
“Oh, absolutely, yes! It’ll be great.”
I grinned, holding a closed fist over my mouth to stifle my laugh. God, he was sweet.
“Good. So. We could go together, if that works for you…?”
To his credit, he didn’t drop the phone or squeal or make any other cartoonish burst of emotion — but his silence hung on for long enough that I knew something must be going on at the other end of the line. What wouldn’t I give to be a fly on the wall?
“Yes,” he said, eventually. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to say no; it’s just — I mean. Yes. Definitely. Please.” A pause, and then: “Thank you.”
His politeness was way too much. For a few moments, I let my thoughts drift, wondering what it would take to coax him away from those good manners and get him groaning and swearing.
They were very pleasant thoughts, but best saved for another time. In fact, I probably ought to save them until after tonight. Already, the thought of watching him drop his clothes and clamber into his fur was spellbinding. Could I really guarantee I’d be able to stay focused if I had those mental images on my mind to boot?
“Great,” I said, keeping my composure. “Why don’t I pick you up on my way over? Don’t worry, I won’t make us late.”
“That’d be so kind of you. Thank you!”
“No, not at all,” I insisted. “It’ll be great to see you. Texting has been nice, but…”
“I know what you mean.” This was unusually direct for Fin, and I found my smile widening at his confidence — even if he cut back in quickly to walk it back and pretend he’d meant it a different way. “I mean, it’s… yes. It’s quicker and easier, talking in person.”
“And I get to look at you.” Well, if he was being direct, I figured I could be too. I gave him a few beats to absorb the blunt truth of that, and then pressed on. “Anyway. I don’t want to take up your entire day. I’ll let you go, but… I’ll see you later tonight?”
“Yes. Absolutely. Please.”
There was that please again. Never mind getting him to curse in bed. Maybe I’d enjoy hearing him beg with those manners of his after all.
“You just text me your address, and I’ll let you know when I’m — ah, on my way.”
I nearly said ‘coming’, but maybe there was such a thing as too direct.
“I will. I’ll send it right now. Thanks, Vaughn!”
“Not at all. Can’t wait to see you. Bye, now.”
In truth, I talked like this to every omega I got intimate with. Can’t wait to see you. Miss you. They w
ere platitudes you couldn’t really do without — part of the game both you and the other guy were playing. In reality, you knew things weren’t so extreme. You were probably not the best he’d ever had. It had probably not been so good that he forgot his name. And in the exact same way, you did like spending time with him, but seeing him wasn’t the sole beacon of excitement in your life.
They weren’t lies. They were toys — lines you pulled out to play with each other and push the right buttons until you fell into bed together, and then again until one or both of you got bored.
As I hung up, however, I was forced to admit that saying those things to Fin was different. It didn’t make sense, and I didn’t know why, but the fact still remained.
I meant those things when I said them.
///
I pulled up outside of Fin’s house exactly as planned, watching his windows for any sign of life — but to my surprise, I didn’t even have to wait that long. The door opened right away, and out came Finley with a smile like sunlight and a shy wave.
“Well, somebody was eager,” I teased, grinning at him as he opened the door.
“Sorry,” he said, pulling a sheepish smile. If I wasn’t much mistaken, I could see his heart beating through the flimsy pale fabric of his shirt. “I’m too much.”
“You’re just enough,” I assured him, waiting until he was buckled up to start driving. “I’m eager too; don’t let me embarrass you. It’s good to see you.”
“You too.”
I felt his eyes on me as I drove, but pretended not to notice. After so much teasing, I figured he had earned the right to look at me in peace — if that was really what he wanted to do. Was it arrogant to think that? Probably, but I knew I wanted to stare at him just as much. I was no more special than he was.
Far from it, actually. Smooth, overconfident alphas were probably on every street corner., but I was a veritable connoisseur of omegas. I could say with certainty that Fin was a flavor you rarely found. He had the look of a man who ought to know how beautiful he was, but his head was too full up of kindness and care to leave any room for an ego. It was obvious from his texts that checking up on other people wasn’t something he had to remember to do. He just wanted to. He wasn’t playing a part when he asked questions about my day, or about my past, or anything else we were talking about. He genuinely wanted to know. That sincerity was special, too. Everything he felt was written on his face in plain, clear lettering.
He was refreshing. He was spearmint and citrus, and I badly wanted to kiss him.
I could feel my wolf straining, even as I focused on the road ahead and the fond back-and-forth of our casual conversation. My instinct commanded that I pull over and gather him up in my arms for a deep, sensual kiss — but I knew better than that.
It wasn’t a conversation we’d had, for one thing. I didn’t know much about Fin’s sexual history, and it wasn’t my business to ask. Still, I got the impression that he wasn’t as experienced as me. Not by a long shot.
He had a reticent air about him when it came to sex. Every time I tried to broach the subject over text, I could feel him clamming up — not afraid or uncomfortable, but desperately insecure. Whatever compliments I gave him were dismissed in a couple of words and a shower of blushing emojis. Emojis were his primary language whenever I sent a selfie, too — smiles and hearts and flames, but never anything directly provocative. Never the kind of frank propositions I got from other omegas. Frankly, I could imagine him insisting on switching the lights off and staying beneath the bedcovers, or at the very least waiting until he knew me better than most hookups ought to.
In short, I was pretty sure I’d make him uncomfortable, and I certainly wasn’t about to do that. When I kissed him — not if, but when — I’d do it slowly. Carefully. With consent.
My hands gripped at the leather of the steering wheel, and I was momentarily torn away from these thoughts by the warm ring of his laughter. “I don’t know why they’d even think of that,” he told me, voice warm as sunshine. “I mean, they’re so young, but… oh, it’s too much, hearing them talk like that. All serious.” As much as I cared what he had to say, hearing about his obvious fondness for children was bittersweet.
Even if we did settle down together, like Owen and Ryker’s crazy imaginings, I’d never be able to give him that.
“Oh, honestly,” he said, wiping a tear away and shooting a sideways glance at me. “I’m so sorry, Vaughn. I promise I can talk about things that aren’t work. The kids are just so funny.”
“Seems that way,” I agreed, briefly taking my eyes off the road to give him one warm smile. “I hope they’re teaching you that at college. How not to laugh in a kid’s face when they’re being hilarious.”
“It’s so hard sometimes!” he admitted. “But I love them so much, of course. I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings.” Then, he surprised me. His voice hardened. When I glanced his way, I saw his lips pursed, and his brow furrowed. “Now, Mr. Kyle, on the other hand…”
I’d heard brief mentions of Mr. Kyle before in our texts. He was the substitute teacher who had taken over Lukas’s class during paternity leave, and was therefore Fin’s closest colleague right now. Fin had never been particularly complimentary about him, but hearing this level of animosity in his voice surprised me. I could barely have guessed he was capable of it.
“Tell me,” I said, sensing his self-censoring hesitation. “I want to hear it.”
“Well.”
I grinned, thrilled to be seeing a whole new side of Fin. This was the kind of revelation I’d been waiting for.
“For starters,” he said, counting on his fingers. “He’s a hypocrite. Last week in the staff room he told Jenny — she’s lovely; you’ll never find a nicer woman than Jenny — that she was letting her kids down by not having this arts and crafts fair ready. Well. He didn’t say that exactly, but he implied it, and… it’s so rude, you know? Jenny has two kids, and her wife is so busy, and she was only taking her time with this fair so she could make it the absolute best it could be…”
I let him continue. I was listening, but I was also just happy to hear him talk so much. For as much as I enjoyed his blushes and his shyness, it did also make me sad to think that he was lacking in the confidence he deserved. Hearing him hit his stride like this, even just to be pissy and complain about his colleague, was fantastic.
“But, like… he doesn’t even finish grading assignments sometimes. If I could count the number of times he’s had me skip lunch to help him grade things, well… it wouldn’t be on one hand, I can tell you that.”
“He sounds like an asshole.”
“Exactly!” he said, waving an eager hand at me. “All the effort she puts in, and he’s just like… oh, you should feel bad about that. In so many words. And he’s so much worse!”
We pulled up at Ryker’s place, and I put the car into park. Free of responsibility at last, I turned a little more to face him. Looking directly at him made him smile, but I could still see the flash of irritation in his eyes from thinking about this ‘Mr. Kyle’.
“Well, you don’t have to see him this weekend.”
“No,” Fin agreed. “I just have to cope with the knowledge that come Monday morning, I will once again be exposed to his idea of having a TA being ‘I get to send Finley for coffee’.”
“Say no,” I suggested.
“Such a typical alpha.”
My smile widened, pleased to hear him teasing me. It didn’t last long; he seemed to fold in on himself a little, his own smile turning shy, and his eyes soon darted away to look outside the car windows. “Wow,” he said, sitting up. “It’s busy tonight.”
I took a look around myself. I made it out to these runs so infrequently now that I couldn’t really guess what ‘normal’ looked like, but I was happy to take Fin’s word for it. There certainly were plenty of shifters making their way up to the house.
“I guess it’s still early in the year,” I reasoned. “Maybe we’ve all just
made the same New Year's resolution.”
“Maybe.”
We climbed out of the car into the cool night air. Compared to Helena, air in Blackwater tasted like it had just been freshened up for January, and I eagerly took a big lungful despite the bitter cold. Fin’s sigh clouded in front of him.
“Ah,” he said, voice thin. “Actually, I don’t think it’s a new year thing after all.”
I followed his line of sight, and my eyes fell on a trio of omegas waving at me — and only me, as if Finley were invisible. Well… I couldn’t claim to be surprised. Blackwater omegas knew I was unmated. Thanks to my family connections and my outward appearance of togetherness, they perceived me as quite a catch, and tended to flock around me if they knew I was in town. Maybe I should’ve thought about this before I suggested attending the run with Fin.
I gave a short wave back, and turned immediately back to Finley. I turned my full body his way, wanting to reassure him that he had 100 percent of my attention.
“They’ll get the message,” I told him, shoving my hands into my pockets. “Don’t worry. I’m not here to scope them out. Let’s head up to the clearing.”
I stayed close to his side, determined to show both him and the other omegas that I meant it. It probably wouldn’t stop them from pushing their scents my way once we ran, but there was only one I wanted to be around right now.
As we arrived in the crowded patch of land outside Ryker and Austin’s beautiful home, I realized this may be harder than I thought. We walked through the crush of wolves, trying to find a spot big enough for the two of us to share, and I could feel Fin tensing beside me the further we got into the crowd. Even I found it a little claustrophobic as an omega I barely recognized fastened a hand around my wrist.
“Vaughn!” he said, voice twinkling and playful. Hopeful. He was handsome, too. A little while ago, he might even have caught my eye. “I didn’t know you’d be here. What a treat.”
“Yeah?” I forced a smile, and gripped his arm back to shake it, as if a handshake had been his intention all along, and continued moving past him. “Well, here I am. Good to be back.”
Claiming My Omega: Blackwater Pack: Book 2 Page 5
