by Lori Light
After supper, Georgiana retired for the evening, as she promised her brother she would. Darcy walked dully through the ballroom, wishing he could excuse himself as well. He did not think he could stand seeing Elizabeth and Wortham together again. He wanted to talk to no one, but he remembered his vow to improve his manners, and knew his silence would be taken as arrogance. Eventually, he found himself standing near Mr. Bennet, so he decided to approach the man. Darcy began the conversation by offering congratulations on his daughter’s engagement. After a few minutes, the conversation turned to politics and current events. Darcy was impressed with the man’s knowledge; clearly, he had underestimated Elizabeth’s father. As they were talking, Kitty approached. On a whim Darcy asked her to dance.
Elizabeth watched from across the room and again was astonished. Mr. Darcy had initiated a conversation with her father and now had danced with three of the Bennet sisters!
The remainder of the ball passed slowly for Darcy. He thought of asking Elizabeth to dance again but overheard her telling another admirer that her dance card was full. He would not be able to continue their previous discussion.
Chapter 11
For Sunday morning service, the little country church was packed to capacity with the Netherfield party in attendance. They came in several carriages and Darcy’s was the first to arrive. Bingley was with him but waited outside the church for Jane while Darcy and Georgiana entered and found seats. The Bennet family entered just as the service was about to begin. Darcy heard, rather than saw them, as they took their seats in the row behind him. Darcy knew that Bingley would be sitting beside Jane, and he wondered if Wortham, who had come in a different carriage than Darcy, would sit with Elizabeth. He dared not look back to see. The thought was too domestic, too intimate for him. Darcy felt the sadness, with which he had struggled since April, take hold so severely that he felt his chest tighten.
Worship began with a song that touched Darcy’s heart with its appropriateness for his darkened mood:
Holy Ghost, with light divine,
Shine upon this heart of mine;
Chase the shades of night way,
Turn the darkness into day.
Holy Ghost, with joy divine
Cheer this saddened heart of mine;
Yield a sacred, settled peace,
Let it grow and still increase.[1]
Darcy willed himself to attend to the lyrics. I will not sink into despair, he said to himself. His deep baritone voice became a bit louder with each verse as he willed himself to experience the promised peace. Soon he was aware of a voice from behind him. It was Elizabeth’s sweet soprano, and it blended beautifully with his. To Darcy, all other voices seemed to fade. He heard only his own and Elizabeth’s. How he wished he could hear their blended voices each Sunday morning!
When the song ended, the congregation was seated, and the sermon began. Darcy was a man of faith. He always looked forward to Sunday services, especially if the vicar was a true man of God and not a hopeless sycophant as they sometimes were. He eagerly opened his Bible, which had been a gift to him from his father and was very dear to him. The message on that day was titled “Grace means Service” and the text was from 1 Peter, chapter 5. Darcy had read this passage before, but today it seemed as if he were hearing it for the first time. “Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” Darcy slumped slightly over his Bible as he read the words again and contemplated their meaning.
Elizabeth’s attention was repeatedly drawn away from the sermon and to the man in the pew in front of her. When Darcy opened his Bible, she noticed that the leather cover was worn, and the pages were tattered. How unlike Mr. Darcy, she thought, to own something less than pristine! When the text was announced, Darcy turned to the place quickly. He indeed knows his Bible, Elizabeth thought. Darcy seemed to be engrossed in the words of the vicar. He looked intently at the minister and then down at his Bible with equal concentration. So serious! He must disapprove of what the vicar was saying. Elizabeth’s lips curled upward as she thought of this proud man being subjected to a sermon on humility! But then she saw Darcy’s head nodding slightly, almost imperceptibly. Her smile disappeared as she realized that the object of her attention seemed not offended by, but in agreement with the sermon. How extraordinary!
Elizabeth’s thoughts were interrupted as she felt Wortham stare down at her. She glanced at him briefly, smiled and returned her gaze to the minister. Other than a few words, humility and pride being among them, she heard not what he was saying. Instead, her mind dwelled on the man sitting in the pew in front of her. What a mystery he was!
Chapter 12
On Monday, the Bingleys had arranged a picnic for the guests of Netherfield and Longbourn. Lunches were packed, along with blankets and chairs for the older guests; croquet sets and other games would provide entertainment for the younger. The entire party made their way toward Oakham Mount. When the carriages could go no further, the group continued, either on horseback or on foot, a host of servants carrying trunks of food and supplies, until the party had reached a meadow just below the highest point.
The afternoon was warm, but shade trees and a northerly breeze provided the perfect respite from the sun. As the afternoon wore on, groups scattered here and there on the hillside. Darcy sat next to Mr. Gardiner and asked questions about his import business. He found that Mr. Gardiner had an acute business sense and had widely divested interests.
Darcy was considering some investment opportunities when his attention was caught by the sight of Elizabeth playing with her young cousins. The eldest two Gardiner children were boys and they were clearly very competitive. They were playing tag and Elizabeth was “it.” With the younger Gardiner girls, Elizabeth clearly held back with a series of mishaps that ensured she barely missed catching them. But with the two boys, Elizabeth ran with impressive speed, holding her skirts up just within the limits of propriety. The boys generally kept ahead of her only because they were not slowed down by ladies’ attire. Elizabeth’s voice rang out in laughter and Darcy thought the whole scene was delightful. At that moment, with her hair disheveled and her cheeks aglow, he thought Elizabeth was the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld.
But Darcy was not the only one who noticed her appearance. Wortham, too, had his eyes fixed on Elizabeth, as did Caroline Bingley. Caroline noticed Darcy’s and Wortham’s stares and was at a loss. Here were the two men whose attention she craved, and yet both were enamored by Eliza Bennet’s unladylike behavior. She sat next to Georgiana. “Miss Eliza must be covered in perspiration and her face is going to be absolutely course and brown!” She smirked into her fan.
Recognizing Miss Bingley’s motives in disparaging Elizabeth, Georgiana shrugged. “She seems to be having fun,” she replied, looking as if she wished for courage enough to join in.
“Perhaps, but her behavior is clearly uncouth! Look at her hair. It is a mess!”
“I think she looks very fine,” Wortham said. For once, Darcy agreed with Wortham. “As do I,” he added.
“But you would never want your sister to appear so disheveled in public, surely, Mr. Darcy.”
Darcy looked at his sister, who lifted her eyes to him hopefully. With an indulgent smile, he nodded his approval to her unspoken question. Georgiana set down her parasol and ran over to join the game, as Caroline’s face reddened. Realizing that revealing further displeasure would not win her favor with either of the two men she so wished to impress, she held her tongue. At length, she willed herself to smile, commenting sweetly on how Georgiana’s ebullience befitted her youth.
Darcy watched intently, longing to follow his sister’s example, but he knew his participation would only make Miss Elizabeth uncomfortable. To his relief, Wortham seemed to have no interest in joining the game. As he watched, Darcy pulled a small knife from his pocket and started whittling a piece of soft wood he found on the ground nearby. Before long he had created
a crude boat, complete with a mast made from a stick and a sail made from a large leaf. By the time he had finished his craft, Elizabeth and Georgiana were exhausted and were making excuses to the children, who seemed to have no desire to quit their game. Darcy held his boat prominently, resting his forearms on his knees. As soon as the children noticed it, they gave up their game and ran to see the boat.
“Can it really sail?” they asked. Darcy glanced Mrs. Gardiner, who smiled her consent.
“Shall we go try it out?” he asked the children. Soon Darcy and the children were making their way down to the small spring that gurgled to the surface creating a small shallow pool before cascading gently down the hill. Elizabeth and Georgiana nodded his thanks as they sat down on one of the blankets to rest and began to tuck loose strands of hair into their bonnets. The spring was only a short distance away and Elizabeth had thought to follow Darcy and the children there after a short rest, but as she stood to do so, Wortham stood as well.
“Miss Bennet, may I challenge you to a game of archery, he asked?” Elizabeth returned his smile, and their laughter could be heard as he escorted her to the archery range set up by Bingley’s staff.
From the spring, Darcy watched as Wortham and Elizabeth took turns shooting at the target. Darcy half expected Wortham to put his arms around Elizabeth on the pretense of helping her aim, but from where he stood, it appeared that Elizabeth needed no assistance. It even appeared to him that Elizabeth playfully shooed him away. “Good for her!” Darcy thought.
As he watched the two, he noticed that Mrs. Gardiner was walking toward him, so he redirected his attention to the children, who were playing with the boat at the edge of the water.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy, for entertaining the children,” she said.
“Not at all, Mrs. Gardiner. I hope you do not mind their getting their feet wet. Their shoes are right over there.” He indicated with his hand the small pile of shoes. “This part of the stream is very shallow and safe, and the water is quite warm.”
“No problem at all, Mr. Darcy. They are fine. As a girl, I enjoyed playing in the creek near Lambton. It was one of my favorite summer pass times. That very creek must cross the property of Pemberley.”
“Yes, indeed it does. I played there often as a boy. My father made a similar boat for me when I was a child and I spent many happy hours playing with it. Actually, he made several for me, each a bit larger and more well-crafted than the last. By the time he carved the last one, I was old enough to help, and we worked on it all winter. It was large enough for me to ride in it and I could not wait for spring to give it a try.”
Mrs. Gardiner smiled. “How did it work?” she asked.
“Not very well, actually. I was very eager to try it out, and by March my father finally relented and gave his permission. The water was still very cold. After only a few minutes I tipped it over and fell into the creek. My father tried to sneak me into the house before my mother could see me in my wet clothes. Unfortunately, she caught us and was very cross with us both. She feared that I would catch my death of cold!” Darcy smiled, and Mrs. Gardiner noted his pronounced dimples.
Mrs. Gardiner laughed. “Your father was a good man, Mr. Darcy. He was respected in Lambton and throughout the county. Your mother was as well. The entire community benefitted from the school, the lending library and the orphanage at Klympton that your family supported.”
“Thank you, Madam. It means a lot to me to hear that.”
The pair drew quiet and each was lost in thought. Mrs. Gardiner wondered why this man was thought of so poorly in Meryton. She had heard of the disparaging remark he had made about Elizabeth at the assembly at Meryton -- “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.” Mrs. Gardiner could hardly believe it. He must have been completely out of sorts, to have made such a statement. Judging by the way he stared at Elizabeth, he surely found her much more than tolerable now. She wondered how Elizabeth felt about Mr. Darcy now. She remembered at Christmas that he was generally reported to be proud and arrogant, and Elizabeth had sworn to despise the man. But now Mrs. Gardiner was sure that her niece’s opinion had improved, though she wondered at Elizabeth’s obvious discomfort in his presence. Certainly, since his visit to her home with Bingley last April, Darcy had been anything but proud. In fact, he had gone out of his way to be friendly, as he had today in entertaining the children. She wondered if this change had anything to do with Elizabeth.
Darcy was deep in thought as well. His conversation with Mrs. Gardiner had brought back memories of his parents. He missed them dearly. He missed his father’s advice and his mother’s affection. How different his life would have been had they lived. With his father to take care of Pemberley and his mother to take care of Georgiana, would he have developed such a serious demeanor and been accused of being proud and arrogant? Or would he have been more like Wortham, without a care in the world? But there was no use in dwelling on what might have been.
Mrs. Gardiner soon was engaged by the children. Looking over her shoulder at Mr. Darcy, she encouraged him to return to his friends. Darcy nodded his acquiescence and looked toward the archery field, noting that Elizabeth and Wortham had given up the sport. Wortham was talking to Bingley and Elizabeth had joined her sisters and some of the other women on the blanket nearby. Georgiana was walking with Caroline and Mrs. Hurst some distance away. As Georgiana seemed comfortable, Darcy walked toward the blanket. He could hear the women giggling and he began to have second thoughts about joining them as he assumed he may be interrupting some girl talk. Just as he was slowing down and about to turn in another direction, he heard a few words of the ladies’ conversation. It was Lydia’s voice he heard most clearly.
“Tell them about that ridiculous man’s proposal, Lizzy!” She laughed, and her next words were not clear.
Darcy froze, and his face instantly turned crimson. They were laughing at him! At that moment Elizabeth looked up and caught Mr. Darcy’s eye. The indulgent smile she had been giving her sister instantly vanished and was replaced by a look of embarrassment.
“She should well be embarrassed,” Darcy thought. “How could she?” She must have told the world about his proposal, and told in Elizabeth’s animated style, it must be a very entertaining story indeed! He must be the laughing stock of Meryton. Darcy was mortified as he turned and walked briskly toward the area where the horses were tied in a meadow nearby. He would return to Netherfield immediately. When Georgiana returned from the picnic, he would inform her that they were returning to Pemberley on the morrow. They would have to miss the wedding. He was not sure how to explain it to Bingley, but he could not stand by his friend in front of all those people. How they must be laughing at him now. How could he face Elizabeth again? He would not. He would put her out of his mind forever.
“Mr. Darcy!”
It was her voice, calling from behind him. He would not stop. How could he face her?
“Mr. Darcy, please stop,” Elizabeth repeated. Still Darcy continued to walk.
“It was my cousin, Mr. Collins.”
What did she say? What did it mean? Darcy slowed.
“My cousin proposed to me last November, on the morning after the Netherfield ball.”
Darcy stopped but he did not turn around.
“My sisters were in the next room and overheard everything. My whole family was there, otherwise I would have never told them about his proposal. I would never have shared such a personal conversation.”
Darcy remained still, and Elizabeth caught up to him, stopping just behind him.
“I have never told anyone,” she said softly. “Not even my sister, Jane, knows of your proposal.”
Darcy turned around. His face was red, and his eyes were fierce, but as he looked at Elizabeth, his expression softened. “I thank you,” he said softly. “I could only assume…” He looked away.
“I understand,” she said before he could finish the sentence. “Here -- Take this,” she said as she handed him a handkerchief. “I h
ad to have an excuse to run after you. I told them that I had one of your handkerchiefs to return to you. At this distance, they cannot tell that this handkerchief is my own.”
Darcy took the handkerchief. It was folded neatly, and delicate yellow flowers were embroidered on the corner. “Again, I thank you,” he said as he tucked the handkerchief into his coat pocket.
Darcy was relieved at Elizabeth’s words, but he still did not trust his emotions.
“Will you come back to join the others?” she asked softly.
Darcy cleared his through before answering. “I believe I would like to walk for a few minutes.
“Would you mind some company?”
Darcy smiled. “I suppose it would depend on the company.”
Elizabeth was looking down and did not notice his smile. “And if it is me?” she asked tentatively. She did not know how he would respond. Perhaps she was the last person on earth he would like to be with right now, and for a moment she was sorry she had asked. Oh, why did she ask? She wanted to apologize, to somehow make up for the discomfort he felt at her sister’s words.
“Then I would like it very much,” he said as Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. He offered her his arm as if he were offering a truce. She accepted it and they strolled through the meadow and then entered a path through a small copse of trees. At first, they were quiet. Darcy did not trust himself to speak, and Elizabeth did not know what to say, where to begin. She thought of their walks together at Rosings, when his silence had been so frustrating to her. For some reason, she was not nearly as frustrated now. This silence seemed – well, not exactly comfortable, but at least it was not unpleasant. She felt she understood the man better now – appreciated his quiet ways. As they walked, she wondered what he was thinking. What did he think of her? She was surprised that he would tolerate her company at all. In fact, in the past days she had often wondered how he endured her proximity at all the social events surrounding the wedding, but she supposed that he had forced himself to endure it for the sake of his friend, Mr. Bingley.
