Cory’s on my heels as I continue into the den, calling, “Ky, wait a minute. The other day, I know I took it too far. I’m sorry that your brother saw that, but you didn’t stop me, you didn’t pull away.”
“I should have.” I roll my eyes, keeping my back to him.
“But you didn’t. You wanted it like I did. You were just as into it as I was,” he warbles, inching closer to me.
He’s only doing this out of curiosity, not attraction. I was trying to understand the interaction, and now I see. He was too prepared and maybe too advanced, and I was not as knowledgeable as I should’ve been about his actions and that kind of embrace. And he was the only boy I’ve ever kissed. Maybe I didn’t stop it, but that doesn’t mean I wanted it.
“You’re avoiding the core of the matter here, Captain. Why were you in my room? That’s forbidden. You’re clear on the rules, and that’s crossing a line. Not just for Separation, Cory, but my own comfort rules,” I say, jabbing a point against my chest.
“We wouldn’t have stayed in your room, Ky. I just thought it’d be okay to meet in there.” He grabs my hand, and I snatch it away.
“Back off, Cory. This is not what we are here for. I’m over it. I have no interest. Let it go.”
“You sound like your brother.”
“There’s a reason for that.” I should sound like my brother; he’s who I learn from. He’s why I’m here, and at the point of death, he will be the only one to save my life. “You crossed a line, and I have nothing else to say to you.”
“There’s nothing between us?” he asks, coming up behind me. He doesn’t touch me, but I can feel how close he is by his warm breaths thrashing down on my collar.
I whip around and shove him back a foot. “We were never anything more than a curious touch. An interest.”
“You are more to me than an interest as you say. I wouldn’t use you like most of them do here.”
I cross my arms and throw my weight on my left foot. “Then what?”
“Again, Ky, I missed you. My touch is a touch. And our innocent kiss was just that.” He grabs my hand and drops down to his knees. “I’m sorry. I swear it.”
I eye him, chewing on the corner of my bottom lip. His voice is soft while reassuring me with truth. Cory was never the type to take advantage, not the boy I remember. When we were home, he was always sweet, buying me white shakes or sitting around with me while I’d wait for Luke to get back from an event. And he was kind, there for me when I needed to vent about my aunt to someone other than Luke. It may be because of our past, why I was so darn comfortable with him. Why did I allow his innocent yet aggressive kiss and unpretentious touches? He tries pulling me to him, and when I don’t budge, he stands and steps forward. Holding him back with my forearm, I order, “Don’t.”
Luke and Marc are coming in at the same moment. Their eyes are pinned on us, and the silent curiosity in their stares couldn’t be louder.
“What’s going on here?” Luke asks.
“Nothing,” I answer him. “Cory’s leaving.”
“Good,” Luke responds.
Cory clears his throat and reaches for my hand again. “So, that’s it then? What you said?” he asks.
“Don’t think I can be clearer, Cory.” Regardless of how soft his green eyes are, how sweet his smile is, or how he always manages to say the right thing, I will not lose my footing for Cory. And I won’t forget that he was in my room without my permission.
“Fine, Ky. I greeted you with a hug. Can I dismiss myself with the same?”
Luke steps in front of me before I can decline. “No. Dismiss yourself by walking out of here.”
Cory stomps out of our house, slamming the door behind him. Luke pats my shoulder and he heads off to the stairs.
Once we’re alone, Marc and I face each other, a part of the day I’ve been waiting on. His scarf sits around his neck, ready to pull over his mouth and nose if needed. He lacks his headgear, and his hair waves around his head, wet from the heat. He looks rough in his suit. It’s mesmerizing.
“You staying in?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer, hoping he will want to stay in too.
“Okay, I’m going to change, and I’ll be back.” He rubs behind his ear before running his hand through his hair. “If you don’t mind company,” he follows, looking away from me, his gaze falling to the floor.
I start to object and push my request for a hug away. Looking him over, covered in red dirt, I swallow it and nod. He turns and, as usual, I watch him walk away, still curious but even more immersed. I pull my eyes away when he makes it to the stairs.
Chapter Twenty
On my way out of my room, I glance at the calendar hanging by the door. “Off Day” is written over tomorrow’s date in my handwriting. I throw my shoulders back and thrust my fists in the air. “Yes,” I cheer under my breath. “I’ve been waiting all week for this.” Everyone may stay out in the rec hall or in the corridors after lights out, and that means the house will be quiet for once.
I settle in the den, swiping my finger across the screen to scroll through the movies made available to us. Marc enters, clean, the hood of his hoodie pulled over his head and hands stuffed into his pockets. He sits in the corner of the sofa, slouching so comfortably, he could pass for sleeping. Turning back to the movie selection, I choose the fourteenth I land on, and it instantly plays.
In the opposite corner of the couch, I sit, legs crossed, less concerned about the movie and more concerned about what I can say.
Sparing me, he asks, “So you’re no longer interested in Cory?” His gaze flicks to mine and then away when our eyes meet.
I could watch him like a movie, not that he’s that interesting. But I can’t help but to stare. “No,” I say like the low note of a song. “It was never like that between Cory and I, and him being in my room made me uncomfortable. Plus, it’s not what we are here for anyway.” I shrug.
“Right, we’re not,” he states, crossing his arms. He clears his throat, eyelids low while he blankly stares at the movie. I expect his gaze to flick over to me, but it never does. Instead, he adjusts again, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
“Are you cold?”
“I’m comfortable,” he informs, somewhat standoffish; a much different person from the guy I spent time with last night. “You had a pretty bad day today.”
“My group just needs a little hands-on training,” I tell him.
“A group is only as strong as its leader,” he quotes.
“Are you insinuating I’m weak?” I snap.
His gaze flicks to me. “No,” he says with emphasis. “You are not weak. But, if someone didn’t know you and saw how you train and then witnessed how your group performs, they would think so.”
I don’t respond immediately, testing the weight of his statement. “That’s not going to stay like that.”
“For your sake, I hope it doesn’t.” He rises and leaves. I watch as he strides to the stairs, and I start to feel like I’m being pushed and squeezed inside of a box half my size. I didn’t come to our empty home to run into Marc and Luke and have them judge me. I know my team needs work. Tonight is not the time for reminders.
I slouch on the couch and let my lids fall over my eyes, the stress of the day weighing on me like a heavy sedative. Don’t fall asleep, I remind myself, just rest your eyes. But it’s harder than I think. My body slides to the side, gently hitting the firm sofa.
Screams erupt, clawing from my throat and blaring past my lips. I drive my knee into the crotch of the oversized gray-haired man shoving my hands over my head. “Stop! Get off me!” I cry, but in a child-like voice, words nearly inaudible. I try to shove him away. The weight of his body nearly crushes my ribs. The heat of his flesh beads sweat upon mine. Hitting, kicking, doing everything I can, I can’t get him off me.
He screams my name, “Kylie! Kylie, stop!” I’m pinned and silenced, his hands clamping down over my mouth.
Slowly, as he repeats my name,
the world drowns out though his voice grows softer. My eyes shoot open.
“Wake up,” Marc says violently, moving his legs from mine but holding my arms down. His face is red, a handprint the size of my hand over his left eye and cheek.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins, and I force myself to calm, seeing there’s no danger and I’m the one causing harm.
I relax under his grip, and my body sinks into the sofa.
Marc’s grip loosens, but he doesn’t let me go. “Are you okay?” he asks, eyes narrowing, no longer wide as they were a second ago.
I examine my surroundings. To my left, the back of the sofa. To my right, the table in the den and the doorway leading to the hall that heads past the kitchen and to the living room. “Yes. Sorry I hit you.” He backs off me a little. “Are you scared I’m going to hit you again?”
“No.”
I tilt my head, glancing at his hands still holding my arms.
He moves both my wrists into one of his hands, clasping them loosely. His free hand, I watch from the corner of my eye, nears my face. Those smooth fingertips graze my ear, and trail over my jawbone to the back of my neck. Pushing his hand to the back of my head, he tilts my head back to where it faces him.
I try to move my arms, but he holds them still. As his head lowers, he whispers, “Wait.”
I wait, limbs stationary, breath even. His body lowers, almost sealing the air between us. Every time my chest rises, it touches his, and I suck it back in.
His eyes move back and forth, boring into each one of mine before they shift downward, maybe to my lips. I kind of hope they’re looking at my lips.
I remain frozen, anticipation expelling the air from my lungs. I breathe in to subdue the sensation of the wind being knocked out of me over and over again as I wait, wanting his kiss.
I lean forward. He leans back, making himself unreachable. Saying nothing, he stares at me with empty eyes, and I bite back my words, chewing on my bottom lip. Before I know it, he draws back and leaves me, exiting our home.
His gaze, his touch, I don’t know what to make of them. I should be embarrassed, caught in my nightmares, and him witnessing my worst attributes once again. But to my surprise, I find a sense of ease with him greater than I even feel with Luke. It also never alleviates. The look in his eyes, the graze of his touch, the steady state he forces me into, it’s always the same.
“Hey, Ky,” Luke calls from the doorway. “You ready to go to sleep?”
I lift my head from my arms and nod. He waves me on. He’s dressed in his sleepwear, which leads me to wonder how long he’s been here.
Chapter Twenty-One
After we’ve been lying down for a while, neither of us sleeping, Luke says, “We are supposed to go to Chicago and meet with others the day after tomorrow. They said they had an outbreak of those things and need some of us to come in for damage control.”
“That sounds exciting.”
“It does. Finally, some real action. Only some of us are going. Of course, it will be the strongest and most reliable. You fall in that group, but when we get back, you’re going to need to work harder on your team.”
“So much for our off day. How long are we staying there?”
“There will be training tomorrow, we can’t really afford an off day. And it should only take us a day to get things back under control, Jord says.”
“Illinois is a state of Separation. How could they have lost control?”
“Some of their Creations changed into those things. This created some who can withstand those bullets, and they’re more powerful. He said unlike ours here that rummage around at night or in the shadows, theirs are day walkers. This left the opportunity to change other humans into what they are. They’re known to multiply quickly, and their expansion is rapid.”
“Did he happen to mention how he expects us to kill or contain them?” I ask.
“They have been working on some new bullets containing pink liquid, which has proven to be effective against Creation-turned walking dead. He said we’ll be provided with new guns compatible with these bullets and full mags. He’s thinking there will be thousands of them but a minimal number of us, so we’ll need a lot.”
“When we go against them, he always says to make sure we aren’t scratched or spit upon. What happens if they do that to us? What’s to say, a scratch or bite will not change us?”
“I didn’t ask. He’s going to let us know tomorrow. You can ask him then.”
“Okay, but what happens if it happens to us?”
His shoulder jumps in a shrug. “I don’t know, Ky. Hopefully we won’t have to find out.”
I nod, head brushing against Luke’s arm. If Illinois can lose control of their state to those walking dead, as Luke refers to them, then that could happen anywhere. Could this entire country be at risk of this infestation? The planet? Was this the Vojin’s plan?
“Is everything okay?” Luke asks, breaking the silence that had sunk down on his room. “What was that with Cory today?”
“Yes, I’m fine. That with Cory was my way of forcing him to back off.”
“Good.” He ends the conversation by wrapping my head in his arm.
Unlike earlier when I fell asleep and was instantly overwhelmed and infused with my worst enemy, fear, yet again, this time, my thoughts are peaceful. If it weren’t for the thought of Marc’s touch and gaze, I would doze off.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“How do you go from feeling one way one day and a completely different way the next?”
“Give me a break, Cory.” He walks beside me as I make my way down the lunch line, packing food on my tray. “I know my purpose and what I want, and that’s the way I feel. You will either respect that and leave me alone, or just leave me alone. Don’t get any of us in trouble.” Collins is in front of me trying to flirt with my brother, who’s in front of her, and I keep my voice down to not be heard by those within earshot.
When I arrived in the mess hall for lunch, I looked for Marc. Unlike every other morning when he catches me leaving Luke’s room, I didn’t run into him today. I was sure I’d run into him here, but instead, Cory conveniently bumped into me “by accident.”
Marc is avoiding me. I spent the morning trying to place the feeling from last night when Marc knocked the wind out of me without bringing me pain.
“Okay, Ky. Compromise. Can I sit by you when we leave tonight? I mean, usually I wouldn’t ask, but with your change in attitude, I feel it’s necessary.”
I walk out of line, satisfied with the food I have. Cory follows. I say, “You shouldn’t have been sitting in my room unannounced. You’re the one whose attitude changed.”
“Is that what this is about?” he questions as we sit.
“What what is about?” Luke sits, glaring at Cory.
“Nothing,” Cory responds, leaving. Finally.
Marc takes his seat. I don’t say a word, waiting on him to speak. He doesn’t, and an invisible elephant wedges between the two of us.
Awkward: feeling embarrassment or inconvenience.
I’m experiencing both. He eats his food and involves himself in a conversation going on over the table.
“Are all of you going to Chicago?” Collins asks, scarfing down her large bowl of soup. The soup is nasty. It’s beef broth, always broth, nothing else. She has bread she dips into it.
Luke answers, “Yes.”
“Yes,” Marc also answers. When Luke mentioned the event to me last night, I was hoping Marc would be going, and something tells me, even if Cory still tries to sit next to me, he won’t be successful.
“I wasn’t invited,” Collins says, biting into her broth-soaked bread.
“I wasn’t either,” Floyd seconds, sitting. “Seems like the only ones are you two,” he points to Luke and me, “you,” he points to Marc, “your brother, Cory, his sister, and the generals.”
“I don’t see why I can’t go,” Collins complains after taking a spoon full of her soup.
I take a bite of my sandwich, and Luke scarfs down his. Marc eats a plum he grabbed from my tray, and Floyd eats an orange. None of us answer her, though her constant gaze at each of us requests a rebuttal or explanation of the decision that was made.
“Maybe you can ask to go,” I tell her, pulling the remaining crust from my bread.
“I shouldn’t have to ask. I should have been first pick.”
“Yeah, first pick after the four of us,” Luke mocks, laughing.
“My name’s over Ky’s,” she states tenaciously.
Before I can defend myself, Luke retorts, “Your group’s better than Ky’s group, not you as a person.”
“Thanks Luke.” We fist bump. My group sucks, but I’m the best at what I do and what I was born to achieve. My mother and father would be proud.
Luke turns his attention to Collins. “Don’t try to play my sister. You know Ky is better than you.”
Slack-jawed, Collins gawks at Luke as though he’s said something ridiculous.
Before she expresses how inferior I am to her, I say, “You’re good too, Collins. This may have been his personal choice,” to neutralize the fire.
“I think it’s saying something,” she states, finishing the last of her bread. I shrug, not wanting to feed into her dispute.
“Well, you guys enjoy yourselves.”
“We will,” Marc responds.
Sean sits beside Marc. “What are we enjoying?” he asks, snatching the apple from Collins’s tray. He’s too fast for her, yanking his arm away before she can smack his hand. She ends up slamming her hand down on her tray so hard it tilts, and the soup turns over.
“This is your fault,” she shouts at Sean, throwing her last bit of bread at him.
And like Sean, he snickers, finding humor in everything. Everyone laughs.
Collins carefully carries the tray to the trash can, cussing the entire way. There’s more soup, seeing as no one eats it but her, but I doubt her toppled-over soup is where her real anger lies.
The Separation Trilogy Box Set: Books 1 -3 Page 16
