Her brown curls whip about with how aggressively she shakes her head and jabs a finger in my direction. “She’s the one who will do it. Why is she in your room?”
“First of all, who doesn’t know that she is my twin? Second, anything that you are going to tell me about, apart from our sex activities and intimate talks, I’m going to tell her anyway. Now, what is it? Or it can wait ‘til tomorrow.”
Nervously crossing her trembling arms in front of her chest, she sucks in a shaky breath. I’ve never seen someone so scared to talk in my life. It’s almost comical. “They are coming after the implants,” she whispers.
“You are saying you are one?” Luke asks carefully, words drawling out with an edge of skepticism.
“And she,” she averts her gaze from me, “is going to kill me.”
“As scared as you are about getting caught, how are you even an implant?” he questions, chuckling. “The two that got executed today went out with pride. They didn’t whimper like you are doing. Not to mention you just revealed yourself to the female lead captain of this division.”
She throws her hands over her mouth and says, “Don’t tell anyone, please.”
“What made you come and tell me?”
“I can trust you.” She grabs his shirt and drops to her knees. “Please,” she cries, “I can trust you, right? You and your twin? Please, Luke. Don’t let them kill me.”
I roll my eyes and scoot off the bed. “See you in the AM., Luke,” I say. “Make sure she’s dead before dawn,” I order, walking to the door. “Or I’ll become her biggest fear,” I sing spookily, slowly pulling the door open. “I’ll be back to kill her before the sun rises.”
She gulps. “Huh?”
“She’s not serious,” Luke laughs, closing the door behind me.
I could go to my room and lie in my bed, but I won’t. Not with Fein still on my mind. I cross the hall to Marc’s room. I knock. There is no answer, and I knock again. Because Collins wants to just up and walk in his room now, I’ve started knocking.
Raspier than usual, Marc asks, “Who is it?” I tap on his door. “Come in.” He’s lying on his bed. When I walk in, he turns from his stomach to his back. “What’s wrong?”
“Luke kicked me out for some girl.”
“Are you going to go to sleep or hold the door and wait for him to be finished?”
“Finished with what?”
He chuckles manly-like. “Talking,” he says with a sly edge to his voice.
“No, I’m not going to hold the door.”
He yawns loudly, turning back on to his stomach. “Lie down then.” He scoots from the middle of his bed and pats the now empty space. “So we can sleep.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Okay, there are some things we need to work on today,” I tell my group. “We will work on target practice. We will work on posture. We will work on your fighting skills. We will also work on your―for the Normals―ability to kill.” We stand in the middle of the empty field, and I take in a large group of Normals and Creations, deciding how I’m going to divvy them up into smaller teams.
They stare at me, brows knit, corners of their mouths turned down, and remorse in their color-filled eyes. I hate these expressions they wear: concern, remorse, dejection. Everyone here has tormented me with these side-eye expressions today, and it’s making me want to find a dark corner to escape them. “What?” I blurt. “What the hell is it?”
Many heads shake as they look away from me. Danny steps forward. “Everyone’s a little intimidated by you, Ky.”
I look around at them all. The thought of comforting them, offering kindness, and reassurance floats around in my mind. We must discuss their concerns. “Okay, is there something any of you would like to talk about? Something you all would like for me to address?”
“I do,” says Brandy.
Brandy does not speak out, and I only pay attention to her when I give her direct instructions or training. Her brown skin compliments her amber eyes and ginger hair that reaches her butt. She’s quite skinny and complains most when weight training. She does, however, take instructions well. “What’s your question, Brandy?”
She clears her throat, and people move from standing in front of her. “Fein was your friend. You showed none of that when you were ordered to kill her. How were you able to do that?” she asks. She stalls before adding, “And can you teach me?”
Shocked, I stare at her momentarily. I knew this would be a discussion about what happened, but I was not expecting a request for training in how I was able to keep a straight face and boldly pull the trigger of my gun and watch Fein, my friend, fall lifeless.
I look over everyone before responding. No one is shaking their heads. No one is looking at Brandy like she has requested something out of the ordinary. They are all content with her request and seem to want the same. Loudly, I ask, “Is this something you all have discussed?”
“Yes,” many say and others nod.
I’m struck silent, proud of my team. “I honestly cannot believe this is my team standing before me, requesting this.” Enthused by my actions and wanting to copy me. My team is not that strong, and yet, here they are. “Okay,” I agree, not yet sure of my next words, shock and joy stealing my thoughts. I bow my head to hide my smile. Looking back at them, I ask, “Who are you people?” I smile wider. “When did you all gain courage and dignity? This is something you all are seeking. You all want that strength?”
“Yes. Yeah. Uh-huh,” they all respond with head nods and small shrugs.
Maybe the expressions I’ve been seeing today weren’t resentment or dissatisfaction, but envy.
“Wow,” I state profoundly, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Seriously wow.” I look them over again. I’m excited and proud. I’ve done a good job. “Okay, let’s do this.” I walk back and forth in front of them, deciding where we will start. “First, there’s courage. What is courage?” I ask rhetorically. “Courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulties, dangers, pain…anything without fear. Courage is bravery, being able to stand against anything regardless of the outcome.” I breathe, thinking of Edward. “Courage is being able to accept what has come upon you, weigh your options, and understand even if it is the worst option…it still must be followed through.” I meet Edward’s gaze. “Can you step forward, Edward?” He does. “Edward showed he has an abundant amount of courage the day I saw him end his twin. That,” I shake my head in discomfort, not sure if even I could do that, “had to be hard for him. But for Edward, there was only one option. What made him courageous is not that he knew his twin had to die, but that he was able to take the gun and kill him himself.” I gesture for him to step back with a sweeping motion. “How many of you can say you can end the life of someone you care about?” I ask, reflecting on this.
If Luke were to get infected, I could shoot him to end his misery. Luke would never want to be a Zombie, and I wouldn’t want him to be either. It’s only right to kill him. Then there is Marc. If Marc was to turn, thinking about it now… I may not be able to do it. I couldn’t stand over him, look into his eyes, and pull my trigger.
I would, instead, take the bite, take his attack…and turn with him.
Rubbing my hand over my head, I shake away the thoughts. That sounds so stupid and ridiculous. “It is different for those of you who are not Creations. Those of us who are Creations, we appear to be bothered by nothing, but when it comes to our twins, believe me when I tell you, we can be weak.” I stall, recalling the bridge and Luke’s anger with me and his display of weakness. Then I think of Edward’s display of strength compared to Megan’s lack thereof. “If someone can hold their hurt and push out their pride when dealing with their twin, or with someone they care about, that is courageous. That is what you all need to learn how to do.”
“How?” a female asks. I still don’t know all their voices well enough.
“First, you have to remember fear is in your mind.” I pr
ess my index finger to my temple. “If you don’t think it, it doesn’t exist.”
“How do we eliminate fear?” Brandy asks.
“You have to change your way of thinking.” That is easier said than done. I look for a better explanation. “It may not be simple, considering you all have gone seventeen to eighteen years conditioned in your current mindset. But if you can overcome your way of thinking when it comes to your fears, that is equally beneficial. Tell yourself that you are strong, convince yourself that you can do anything, and just…jump.”
They nod. I try to think of ways to teach them to manage their fears and understand them. We would first need to discuss them and then work on ways to overcome them.
“Did you feel anything, Ky, when you did it?” Another girl asks.
“Who said that?” I ask.
“Me.” Kendra steps forward. “Should I not have asked?” Her shoulders draw forward as her frame shrinks. “We just figured that since you are our leader, you would share things with us. To help us. Ky, a lot of us are scared. Maybe not the Creations, but Non-Creations. We fear what’s out there: implants, walking dead, Creations dying. Our world is in danger. It’s a lot for us to accept. We are supposed to fight in the war against other people like us, not things we know nothing about.”
“I understand. This is why we are working so hard to train you. It’s why we’re still training you.”
Kendra interjects. “How do you train for something like this? It seems like you all don’t even fully understand what we’re up against.”
She is partially right. “They’re conducting studies so we can better understand—”
She cuts me off again, quizzing, “Can Non-Creations be implants?”
This question triggers an accusatory thought. But maybe it’s all still related to Fein. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, if Creations can be, why wouldn’t Non-Creations be as well?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what requirements outsiders look for in a Creation or Non-Creation.”
Kendra’s upper lip curls as she aggressively interrogates me. “What do you know, Kylie?” she says with a snarl.
My brows furrow. I move my hands behind my back, holding my anger together by clutching the handle of my pistol tightly between my hands. She’s challenging me. But why? “Are you an implant, Kendra?” I ask calmly, then I straighten, stretching my neck left then right to remove the tension.
She glares at me as her left brow hitches. Her eyes narrow, and for some odd reason, I sense her telling me yes. I grow impatient waiting on her response. “No,” she answers in a harsh tone.
I doubt it. I draw my gun and step to her. My barrel presses against her forehead, just between her eyebrows. She keeps eye contact with me, not a glimpse of fear in her eyes. I ask again, “Are you an implant, Kendra?” Her silence is revealing, and the group and I wait for her answer. I pull my gun away an inch to cock it back before pressing it back against her skin.
Her eyes widen and twitch, revealing a glimpse of fear. “N-No,” she stutters.
“You better not be,” I say low for only her to hear. “And the next time you’re asked, being hesitant to answer may get you killed.” I gently tap her temple with the barrel of the gun. “Never test me again, Kendra.” Taking a few steps back, I order, “Enough Q and A. Get back to business. Creations, do your worst.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
After battling rounds, Normals versus Creations, my group closes the day in the weight room, building their strength and endurance. Both will help in the war against Zombies, may it be fighting or just running from them.
I head to Jord’s office hoping, to get some answers to a few questions about Normals being implanted. Luke left with him earlier, and they should be back by now. I knock twice and wait for an answer. The lock turns, and Seits opens the door, “Hi Ky.”
I keep my face even, but ever since she turned me into a Zombie, her presence has made me uncomfortable. “Hello. I was looking for General Jord, is he here?”
“He’s out with a few of the leaders. Can I help you with something?”
I shake my head. “I’ll come back later. Thank you.” I pivot, and she grabs my shoulder. Looking at her hand first, then at her eyes, I ask, “Is there something you would like to discuss?”
“Can you step into the office?”
I move my arm from her hand, debating speaking with her or not. I’d prefer not. Though she may have been obligated to follow orders from the Trade, it would be fair to provide a warning. “I’m headed to the rec hall.” I give her an ultimatum. “Would you like to walk with me there and speak?”
“You would prefer this?”
“I would. I’m not comfortable speaking with you.” I’m not afraid of her. I just don’t have respect for her. However, I don’t want to be bad-mannered as I respect her position. I also know myself, and if she tries to do something to me again, I will kill her.
She nods slowly, agreeing. I turn on my heels and step off the stoop. At my side as we stroll, Seits says, “You can also speak with me, Ky, about any questions or concerns you may have. Both Jord and I are available.”
“I understand.” Is my simple response. “Have you seen Luke?”
“He left with Jord. Are you okay, Kylie? You performed an execution yesterday for one of your good friends here.”
Responding as a Creation would, I say, “She was not my friend. Feiney was an implant, and that voids any relationship and concern I had for her. She got what was coming to her.” But I would prefer to say, ‘I did, and it upsets me she would leave herself exposed to get found out and force me to perform that execution,’ though I cannot.
“Do you honestly feel that way, Kylie?” She stops and grabs my arm, so I stop too.
I drop my gaze to my grasped arm and then meet her eyes. “Please.” She releases me, and her hands fall at her sides. “Yes. I do honestly,” I mock the word as she spoke it quaintly, “feel this way. You don’t?”
“I feel that we lost someone, and she may have deserved a better way to be expunged.”
I turn to continue. “You should talk to Sir Jord about that. It was his choice for execution over saving her.”
“Excuse me?” she gasps in a bewildered tone.
I wasn’t looking at her before, but I am now. Her piercing purple eyes radiate, brightening and dimming as though they beat with her heart. Why is this news shocking? “Arletta asked him if he needed any test subjects of implanted Creations. He declined and ordered Fein and Floyd’s execution. What is the problem?”
She quickly shakes her head. “There…there is no problem. I thought the execution was the only option.”
“After he said he didn’t need them, it was. But I suppose if he’d said he would use them for tests, they may have let them leave and escorted them to the underground labs, which you are well acquainted with.”
Slowly, she begins, “Kylie, I am sorry about what happened. I cannot stress that enough. I knew they were going to turn you into the walking dead. It is a part of the tests. But I could not warn you. They would have known by your reactions.”
“Madam Seits, it no longer matters. If you will excuse me, I’m going to eat dinner.”
“Yes, Ky. One more thing.” She takes my shoulders in her strong grip, fingers pressed firmly against my muscles. Looking at me head on, she says, “A coyote doesn’t just howl to call its pack…but to also warn them of intruders.”
Though my lips are parted, my gasp is silent.
“Hey Ky!” Sean calls, distracting me from Seits’s shocking reveal. She walks away and doesn’t look back. “Ky,” Sean calls again, now beside me.
We were right…
“Earth to, Ky!” Sean shoves me against my shoulder.
I blink. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my hands, trying to remove this disturbing sensation crawling over my flesh as though her words have legs. “Nothing.”
“Have you seen Marc?�
�
“No, why?”
“I haven’t seen him. I checked with his group. They haven’t seen him for the past two hours.” His arms splay out before falling limply at his sides as he says, “It’s dinnertime, and no one seems to know where he is.”
“He may be with Luke and Jord. They are checking on the other leaders of our sector.”
He knits his brows. “How’d you find that out?”
“Seits told me. You’re worried?”
He heads for the doors of the mess hall, and I follow behind him. “Yeah. He may have gotten eaten by a Zombie or turned into one.”
I drop a pat on his shoulder. “Marc’s a big boy. He can handle a few Zombies. He’s fine.”
Sean shoves the doors open. “We have to go in here and sit with annoying-ass Collins. I do not like her. You should have cracked her in the face last night.”
“I wanted to. You know, since yesterday, everyone has been acting weird. They either fear or envy me. I don’t know what to make of it.”
“That has to be the Normals you’re talking about. My group wanted to talk about it. I kept the conversation short and explained you did what was ordered. If you had refused that order, everyone would have assumed that you couldn’t rid us of an implant because you are one, and you would have been lying there right along with them.”
I nod, agreeing. “My team asked me to explain how I could effortlessly kill a friend. I told them they’d need courage in the face of fear. We tell our twins that if we get turned into one of those things to kill us, but do we mean that? We know that we would prefer there be a cure. But there is none, so our escape is death. Think of the pressure we are putting on our twin.”
“I really meant for Marc to kill me.”
“But instead…”
“Right. He found another option. But if there was no other option, I know he would do it. What about you? If it were you and Marc. Would you kill him?” Sean’s question catches me by the legs, and I stumble forward. I grab Sean’s arm to catch myself from falling.
The Separation Trilogy Box Set: Books 1 -3 Page 50
