Dr. Warbury asked, “How’s your mother doing?”
“Really well. She had a healthy baby boy. They’re both doing great. Mom’s out of bed most of the time now and doesn’t need me with her every day.”
Dr. Warbury offered congratulations. “And I’m thinking that we won’t need to schedule a next appointment. You can just check back with me any time you feel you need to talk. I want to hear from you if you feel stressed, and don’t hesitate to call should your headaches return. You’ve come a long way, Alyssa... You’ll be leaving for New York in a few weeks, won’t you?”
“Two and a half weeks, yes.” It was much too soon. Wasn’t it? The time had flown by so fast.
“Do you want a referral—someone to talk to in New York? I can look into that for you.”
“How about I’ll call you if I realize I need someone?”
Dr. Warbury was silent for a couple seconds too long. “Is there something else you’d like to talk about?”
Oh, please. She did not need to talk to her therapist about the pregnancy test she couldn’t make herself take.
Did she?
She blurted, “I want to move home. I miss being close to my family. But I love New York and I love my job. I won’t find anything like it here. I don’t want to leave my ex-husband. I’m still in love with him and I think I always have been. I have a thousand decisions to make and I don’t even know where to start.”
“I think you do,” said Dr. Warbury.
Aly scoffed. “Well, you’re wrong.”
“Just remember you can’t do everything at once. You need to choose one thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing that’s holding you back, the thing you’re avoiding doing.”
Aly pressed her palms to her cheeks and groaned. “How do you know this stuff?”
Dr. Warbury shrugged. “It doesn’t matter how I know. Is there something you’ve been avoiding doing?”
Aly looked out the window for a good count of ten before grudgingly answering, “Yeah, there’s something.”
“Will you do it?”
“I will.”
“Excellent. When?”
Aly laughed. “Dr. Warbury, you are so pushy.”
“When?”
“Okay, okay. I’ll do it today, right away, as soon as we’re through here.”
* * *
A half hour later, Aly sat on the edge of the bathtub in the spare bathroom at Connor’s house, waiting for the results to appear in the test wand window.
It didn’t take long.
She stared at those twin pink lines and suddenly, everything was blindingly clear to her.
And then the doorbell rang.
It was Janine. The older woman had Maurice in her arms and happy tears in her eyes. The cat looked great, his eyes clear and alert, his coat shiny as ever. Aly had a sneaking suspicion someone had been taking really good care of him while the whole neighborhood worried that he would never come home again.
Janine stroked his sleek head and Maurice purred. “He showed up fifteen minutes ago. I opened the front door and there he was, just sitting on the welcome rug. I scolded him—not that he listened. And then I fed him and brought him right over so you could see for yourself that he’s fine.”
Aly grabbed them both in a hug. Maurice allowed that, but only for a moment. Then he leaped from Janine’s arms and into the house. He strutted off toward the kitchen.
“I promise I’m going to keep a closer watch on him,” Janine vowed. “He’s an indoor cat from this day forward.”
Aly glanced back at Maurice, who sat at the end of the kitchen counter, eyes low and lazy, looking like he owned the world. Keeping that cat at home wasn’t going to be easy. “I think you’d better come on in,” said Aly. “This calls for cookies.”
Janine stayed for an hour. When she took Maurice back home, Aly walked down to the beach and strolled along the sand under the gray October sky. She watched the gulls soar above the water and listened to their plaintive cries as she tried to get her thoughts in order, to figure out exactly what to say when Connor got home.
* * *
Connor ran up the stairs from the garage and found Aly standing in the middle of the living area. She stared at him with the strangest expression on her face.
“What?” He went straight to her. “Is something wrong?” He took her by the shoulders. “Aly?”
She gazed up at him, her eyes full of...what? Worry? Secrets? Hell if he knew. “Oh, Conn. I have so much to say. We should sit down.”
“You got it.” He pulled her over to the sofa and they sat side by side. He took both her hands between his. “Now. What’s the matter?”
She swallowed. Hard. Her face looked too pale. “I cooked dinner. Beef braised in Chianti. Just the way you like it.”
“It smells great. What’s going on?”
“I knew just what I was going to say...” She crumpled toward him. He gathered her in. “And I have no idea where to start.” She settled her dark head on his shoulder.
He stroked her hair. “Come on. You can tell me.”
She tipped her head back and puffed out her cheeks with a hard breath. “I’m pregnant.”
The world seemed to stop stock-still on its axis—and then to begin turning the other way. “Say it again.”
She didn’t quite give him a smile, but the corners of her mouth crooked upward a little. “Sometime next May, we’re having a baby, you and me.”
“May,” he parroted blankly, trying to wrap his mind around the enormity of it, the impossible, perfect wonder of it. “A baby in May...”
She sucked in a sharp breath and nodded. “I’ve suspected for a while now. I missed a couple of pills after the accident. I called my doctor and he had me make up the pills I’d missed. He said I would be protected.” She gave a little shrug. “I finally took a test today.”
He rubbed his hands down her soft arms. “These last weeks, the way you’ve been...”
“Distracted?” she asked.
“Yeah. Distracted.”
“Well, I just...” Color flooded her cheeks. “It’s a lot. I didn’t want to say anything to you until I was sure. And then I kept putting off taking the test. But today I finally did it. Today, I finally know what I want, how I hope it can be.”
“Aly...” He knew there were words he should say. He just didn’t have them.
She laughed then. “You are happy about it, right? I mean, I know what I said after the accident, when I asked you to let me move in here—that I only wanted to make peace with you. But I wasn’t completely honest. Connor, even that first day when I showed up here on your doorstep, I was hoping for more.”
His heart boomed in his ears. Was he having a heart attack? Could you have one from happiness? “You were?”
“Yeah. Does that upset you? That I lied...just a little.”
He took her face between his hands. “Hell, no. I felt the same. I knew I didn’t deserve a second chance with you, but damn, I did want it. I wanted it all along.” He kissed her.
She took his hands and cradled them between her smaller, softer ones. “I’m so glad. So very glad. And, well, as far as the baby goes, look at it this way. Now you won’t have to worry anymore that you’ll get old without children.”
God, she was beautiful. “You’re right. It’s a big relief. Whew.” He pretended to wipe sweat from his brow.
She laughed again and then he was laughing, too. And then he scooped her up in his arms and stood. “Whoa!” she cried, grabbing him around his neck to keep from falling. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you upstairs. We need to celebrate.”
She kissed him, a playful kiss. “Okay, then. Upstairs...”
In his bedroom he laid her down on the mattress and took his sweet time, kissing her slowly and deeply
, touching her everywhere, as he set about getting both of them out of their clothes.
“So, then, the condom thing...?” he asked, when he finally held her, naked, in his arms.
“Yeah. We definitely don’t need them now. And when I said we needed to start using them again, I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not. But if I was, I didn’t want to keep taking the pill. It’s not supposed to hurt the baby, but I just didn’t feel right about it. And I wasn’t ready to say anything to you yet.” She gazed up at him so hopefully. “Are you upset with me, that I didn’t tell you all this earlier?”
He shook his head. “I’m just happy you’ve told me now.”
She reached up and combed the hair at his temples with her fingers. “We have so much to talk about.”
Uneasiness echoed through him. What were her plans? She still lived in New York. Would she insist on staying there?
He wasn’t going to be a long-distance dad, that much he knew for certain.
“Later,” he growled, and claimed her mouth again.
* * *
They put off talk of the future for a couple of outstanding hours in bed. Then, downstairs, she reheated their dinner and they ate.
So many things made sense now. Not only how preoccupied she’d seemed for the past few weeks, but she’d been avoiding alcohol, too, now that he thought about it. And coffee, as well. All those weeks taking such good care of herself, just in case she might be going to have their baby.
The woman amazed him. No wonder he’d never gotten over her. For him, no one else could ever compare.
She shared the news that Maurice had come home on his own. “He just showed up on Janine’s doorstep late this morning. Janine swears she’ll never let him outside again.”
“Maurice may have other plans.”
“My thoughts exactly...”
Things got a little quiet between them as they were clearing the table after the meal. She wiped down the counters and he loaded the dishwasher.
Finally, they ran out of ways to put off dealing with the elephant in the room.
She rinsed off the sponge and set it in the little holder under the sink. He stuck the last dish in the rack and shut the dishwasher door.
“Let’s sit down.” She held out her hand.
He took it and she led him over to the sofa.
They sat close together, holding hands—and spoke at the same time.
“I want to—”
“Do you think—” He shut his eyes and drew in a slow breath. “You go ahead.”
“All right. Thanks.” She withdrew her fingers from his and folded her hands together in her lap.
He felt...bereft, without her hand in his. And he tried not to read anything negative into her pulling away.
She said, “I’ve been all over the map about what to do, how to work it out. I think I put off taking the test partly because I didn’t want to have to face the choices we would have to make as soon as we knew. But it was strange. The minute I saw that the test was positive, it all became so simple to me, so completely clear.” She shifted, turning her body so she faced him more directly. “I love my job, Connor.”
He made himself nod and answered gently, “I know you do.”
“Except for the constant ache of missing you, I have loved living in Manhattan. It really is my dream-come-true.”
“I understand.” He lowered his head. He knew he needed to accept that his life would have to change.
She said, “But that time is over.”
Wait a minute. That didn’t sound so bad. He sat up straighter.
She said, “Now, my life in New York is simply no longer the life that works for me. Now we have a baby coming. The last thing I want for our baby is you and me living on opposite coasts, flying back and forth across the country for visitation. Uh-uh. That’s not the way I want it to be.”
He stared at her, dumbfounded, trying to think of the right thing to say.
But then it turned out she wasn’t finished.
“I’m ready, Conn,” she said, “to move home to Valentine Bay. I want our baby to grow up surrounded by family, yours and mine. I want our baby to know his or her cousins, day to day, to spend time with all the aunts and uncles, with Grandma and Grandpa... Conn, you said you didn’t want me to go and that meant so much to me. It meant everything. I still do need to go back east, give notice, maybe train my replacement at Strategic Image, deal with my apartment, all that. But once that’s handled, I want to come home to you. I want to make a life here, with you and our baby. I only hope that maybe you might want that, too.”
Chapter Twelve
Speech had pretty much deserted him. How to even begin? His heart burned with happiness. But his mind?
A dead blank.
Aly chuckled. “Your mouth is hanging open.” He snapped it shut and tried to formulate words—the right words, the perfect words. She watched him, her expression morphing from laughter to something anxious and forlorn. “So...that’s a no, on you and me?”
He blinked at her, stunned that she could even suggest such a thing. “What—no? Hell no, that’s not a no.”
A tiny smile ghosted over those perfect lips and her eyes lit up, bright as a trail of stars shining on deep blue water. “So then, um, yes?”
“Damn. Aly. Are you kidding me? You’re moving back home, you want to be with me and you’re having my baby? That all adds up to a big, fat yes, as far as I’m concerned.”
She put a hand to her heart. “Oh, Conn. I’m so glad. I mean, I thought we were on the same page, but you scared me for a minute there.”
“I couldn’t find the words. There aren’t any good enough.” He shoved at the coffee table. It squeaked against the floor as it slid away from the sofa, giving him space.
“Connor, what...?”
He dropped to his knees at her feet.
It worked. She let out another happy peal of laughter. “Okay. I think I’m getting the picture now.”
He grabbed her fingers, brushed his lips to the soft skin at her knuckles, and then pulled her hand closer. He pressed it tightly against his heart. “I love you, Alyssa Siobhan. I have always loved you. It’s been so lonely without you. I messed up so bad in the past, but still, somehow, here you are, like a miracle. My miracle. I have missed you and I never want to lose you again. Marry me, Aly. Marry me right away.”
She touched him, bending closer, her fingers trailing down his cheek. How did she do that? Turn him on with a simple caress? Already, he was hard, aching for her. “I love you, too, Connor Bravo,” she whispered. And she bent even closer.
Their lips finally met.
With a groan, he reached for her, pulling her off the couch and into his arms. She laughed as he stretched out on the floor, with her on top of him. Damn. She felt like heaven and she smelled like ginger and home—like hope and all the promises he’d thought were long broken.
She gave him one of those kisses, the kind that only she could bestow. It went on and on—and still it didn’t last long enough.
When she finally lifted her head and grinned down at him, her hair falling over her shoulders, making a curtain of silk to shelter them, he said, “Let’s get the license tomorrow and get married this weekend.”
She put a finger to his lips. “Not so fast, mister.”
He frowned up at her, not getting where she was leading him now. “Okay. What’s going on? Is this where you say the part I’m not gonna like?”
She kissed the end of his nose—and sat up. “Maybe.”
He stared up at her from the floor. “You won’t marry me this weekend?”
She chewed her lower lip and slowly shook her head.
“Why not?”
“I just don’t see why we have to rush things.”
He caught her arm, pulled her down and stole another kiss. When she lifted
herself away again, he sat up, too. “It’s not rushing when you want to be with me and I want to be with you. We lost years. Years. I don’t want to spend another minute without you.”
“I just mean, can we take it one step at a time, please? I’ll be back in six weeks, a couple of months at the most, and then—”
“Wait. Months? You’re going to be in New York for months?”
She made a sharp, impatient sound and caught his face between her hands, like he was a kid with a short attention span and she needed to make him look straight in her eyes to be sure he actually heard what she was telling him. “Think about it. I don’t know what kind of work I’m going to find for myself in Valentine Bay. But whatever it is, I want to know I can count on a glowing recommendation from SI and good feelings all around. I said earlier I may even be training my replacement. That takes time. And my lease on my apartment isn’t up. I need to find someone to sublet it—so yes, all that’s going to take a while.”
“Yeah, but...” He hesitated, not the least eager to piss her off, but not happy with this plan of hers.
“What?” she demanded.
“You act like you’re flying to New York tomorrow. I don’t get it. There’s no big rush for you to go. We have time to talk this over. You have almost three weeks left before you’re due back on the job, don’t you?”
“I do, yes, and if I wasn’t moving home, I would take them. But my mom and the baby are doing great. She doesn’t need me close by anymore. I’m two months pregnant. I want to do what needs doing in Manhattan, get back home and get settled before I’m too far along. I want to get going on our plans.”
Our plans? Not hardly.
Yeah, he knew she would have to go. But for two months? Uh-uh. It was too damn long.
He didn’t blurt that out in no uncertain terms the way he longed to do, though. It would only piss her off and he didn’t want that. He’d already blown one marriage to her. He refused to lose her again before he even got another ring on her finger.
“The point,” he said, as gently and reasonably as he could manage, “is us. Together. If you’re in New York, we’re not together.”
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