“I am not so certain.” He knew it was cruel to say so; that it pierced Nathan’s heart like a blade. But Aaron was well aware he tended to spoil the only relative he had by blood. “As for Holden, he is not your concern. He is mine.”
Heatedly, Nathan shot back, “He’s Miss Rachael’s now, too. You shoulda killed him. You don’t do anything to keep her safe.”
Disgusted—in part because that very thought haunted him—Aaron snapped, “I am not discussing this with you. For the last time, go to bed.”
With a scoff, Nathan whirled on his heel and clomped off to his bedroom. The door shut with a hearty slam. Aaron shook his head. His brother’s tantrums lately had the tendency to wake the others, and it would not be long before tensions arising from Nathan’s attitude overflowed with scalding heat.
Shortly after Aaron returned to his room and changed the sheets, Rachael joined him. Her hair was damp but brushed, and she wore an oversized T-shirt and thin leggings.
The first words out of her mouth were, “I thought I heard yelling.”
Aaron unbuttoned his shirt, weary and ready for sleep. “You did.”
“About?”
“Nothing of importance.”
When he turned, Rachael frowned at him. “Then why did Nathan beg me to stay the night with him?”
Aaron blinked. Then, once her question sank in, he bit down on a mirthless laugh. So that is his angle, he thought. He would have thought distance and his recent lack of interest had made Nathan less fervently fond of Rachael, but it was clear he had been terribly wrong in his assumption.
“What’s so funny?” asked Rachael.
Aaron shook his head. “It is not amusing,” he said. “Unless you count in an unfortunately tragic manner.”
Her silver-and-gold eyes remained puzzled. Blessedly, Rachael decided to let it go and turn off the light. She crawled into bed with him, wrapping one arm around his chest.
It was a little strange compared to before. Aaron thought he might be used to her warmer touch after such a long battle with fever. Yet now that she was well, there was a part of him that missed the cooler brush of her fingers. It was almost symbolic; now that she was even a little less human, Rachael was permanently changed.
Softly, she said, “Can I ask you something?”
Aaron blinked into the dark. Outside must have been cloudy, because hardly any natural moon-or starlight peeped through the blinds. “Of course.”
She shifted against him so her heart thudded an odd rhythm against his arm. “Is part of being a lycan also being... well, heartless?”
Uncertain how to immediately respond to that, it took Aaron a moment to find the most tactful words. “Please clarify what you mean by, ‘heartless.’”
Immediate embarrassment poured off her tongue. “I didn’t mean you were. Any of you. I—damn it.” She groaned and tightened her arm around his torso a fraction. “It’s just that I—I felt nothing when Lacey died. I wasn’t like, super happy, but I wasn’t upset. It was just like, ‘Oh, hey. Good. She won’t bother me anymore.’ You know?”
He did. Aaron reached to lazily play with locks of her hair. “That is not lycan-related,” he said reticently. “Not in my experience.” Which, of course, was vast.
She looked a little uneasy. “I wonder where it came from,” she murmured, more to herself than in conversation.
Aaron shrugged the shoulder furthest from her. “I would assume that has more to do with everything you feel she has put you through.”
Rachael stiffened. “What do you mean, I feel she’s put me through?”
Aaron almost rolled to look her in the eye, but he was too comfortable. So he traced a lock of her hair down her arm until she shivered. “You have not told me. All I have gathered has been you screaming at her and various disjointed stories from your time in the fade.”
“I faded?” she asked, startled.
He grimaced. “I suspect so. It can happen during the infection. Yours did not seem too terrible.”
“Oh.” A few strong heartbeats passed in tense silence. Aaron knew then she would not answer his question fully.
Next she spoke, Rachael said, “I’m sorry, but can I ask something else?”
Aaron sighed heavily and finally shifted so he could face her. Though there was little light, what they had was enough for their eyes to adjust. In the night her hair looked almost platinum, and the gold in her eyes reflected brilliance. “You do not need my permission to question,” he said. “Just ask.”
Relief sparkled in her gaze. But then Rachael became solemn. “Why do you think Lacey makes Vera even?”
Her phrasing was awkward, but Aaron understood. He frowned faintly. “You disagree?”
“Yes,” she said firmly. “Absolutely.”
“Why is that?”
Rachael stared at him as though he’d started speaking in Aramaic. “Because Vera was a good person,” she explained. “Lacey tried to kill me. Vera got mad sometimes, but she never really hurt anyone. Even if she did, she especially didn’t try to kill them.”
For a moment Aaron didn’t understand why that mattered. Then it occurred to him: she was, as usual, looking at it from an emotional standpoint. His position had been entirely unrelated.
“I do not disagree,” he said carefully. “But I literally meant her death. Holden snapped Vera’s neck and hurt you. He saw it as a mercy killing. So I killed Lacey the same way, and it hurt him. But I ensured she did not suffer.”
Rachael shifted and lowered her eyes. “Huh.”
Unsettled by her response, Aaron asked dully, “Anything else?”
“No,” she murmured. “I think I know why you let Holden live, so we’re good.”
Are we, now? Aaron’s mouth pulled in a thin smile. “And why did I, my dear?”
She glared at him for the condescending nickname. “Because you still care about him. If you didn’t, he’d have been dead the last time we saw them.”
“Holden is dead to this pack,” said Aaron.
Rachael didn’t back down. “I don’t think you spent his entire lycan life, no matter what else went wrong, taking care of him and teaching him to be the best at whatever you needed—you didn’t do that and come out not giving a crap. You did it because he was family. And somewhere inside, to you, he still is.”
Indignation swelled in Aaron’s throat. But he forcefully choked it back. She probably had a point. If he swallowed his pride, Aaron could probably outright admit she was right. In that case, it was hardly her fault for being observant.
So he instead reached out and brushed hair from her face until his palm came to rest on her cheek. Rachael softened a little and offered a faint smile.
“It’s not a bad thing,” she assured him tenderly. “I love that about you.”
Aaron’s mouth twitched. “That my weaknesses bring you unneeded pain?”
“That you take care of your pack,” she corrected. “When I first met you, I was scared. Now I can’t imagine why. You’re one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met.”
He snorted and rolled onto his back once more, closing his eyes. “You have mistaken me for someone else.”
Rachael jabbed him in the side. Aaron smirked but didn’t look at her, content to fall asleep this way. He was tired—and he could hear Nathan’s whimpering from the other room. It caused his mood to plummet almost immediately.
Rather than give in to the temptation to check on what he was certain were crocodile tears, Aaron murmured, “Are you going to tell me what happened when you were Holden’s prisoner?”
He’d asked before. Each time she had visibly tightened, as though her muscle was made of coil and the question wound her up like a cheap toy. And each time he was met with a negative or deflection. They had faced this in the past; particularly when Holden had ignored all of Rachael’s personal boundaries back in Keeton. Aaron didn’t want to force her hand again, but he had the feeling they were headed in that direction.
Once more, Rachael’s voice dropped. “Soon.�
��
Of course. She was, if nothing else, stubborn.
Aaron said nothing more and pulled her closer. The night would shift to morning within a few scant hours. They all needed their sleep. The next couple years promised to be rough, especially with Rachael’s lycan adjustments looming in the future. And, naturally, there was Nathan.
As always, Aaron had his work cut out for him.
Chapter Eighteen
Rachael didn’t expect to be woken bright and early the very day she felt better. But her brother shook her awake, and she looked around to find the bed empty but for herself.
“What?” she asked crankily.
Jackson didn’t smile. “We gotta go.”
“What?” she repeated, this time in surprise. Rachael sat up. “Why? What’s happened?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know. Boss says go, so we go.”
“Go where?”
“Dunno.” He handed her a towel. “He said you can shower, but to make it quick. Everyone else is pretty much ready.”
Geez. Rachael sighed but kicked free from the blanket. Quickly, Jackson ushered her down the hall and practically slammed the door behind her once she stumbled into the bathroom. Unnerved yet curious, she turned on the water—and was disappointed to find it cold.
Damn it all.
Much as she wanted to enjoy her cleansing, Rachael could barely stand the temperature. She hurried through her ritual and stepped out to towel herself dry. To her dismay, a set of clothes had been set on the kitchen sink. That she didn’t even get to pick her own outfit—though her options were limited—was strangely upsetting.
Still she dressed. Rachael barely had her shirt on when the door opened, and Aaron peered in at her. His gaze was utterly closed off as he said, “Move it along. We are behind.”
Inexplicably humiliated, Rachael muttered an affirmative and ran her fingers through her hair. Once she stepped past him, Aaron put a hand to her lower back and nudged her toward the front of the house.
That irritated her. Rachael jerked away and stopped in her tracks, glaring at him. “What’s going on? Why are you in such a hurry?”
Aaron’s expression remained impassive. “You are lycan now, Rachael, and part of my pack. When I say do not question, you must trust me.”
The words chilled her. “But—”
“If you do not want to be part of this pack, you are free to leave.”
His frigid words struck hard. Rachael stammered without success. Then, ducking her head to hide her shame, she jammed her feet into the single pair of shoes by the front exit.
Not another word was said between them as they walked to the van. Rachael climbed into the open back door. Behind her, Aaron slid it firmly shut and got into the driver’s seat. The van rumbled to life and backed out of the open gate before they sped off.
Rachael fumbled to buckle herself in the back row. Once she was settled she looked around. Jackson sat in the front with their alpha, a map opened in his lap. Why isn’t he using his phone? she wondered. Eva and Ana Sofia sat in mid-row, which left Rachael and Nathan in the rear.
Nobody said much during the drive, and it made Rachael clam up even further. It was strange to know she was now a lycan, part of the pack, and yet for some reason she felt more distant than ever.
Beside her, Nathan suddenly reached over and grabbed her hand. He had to turn his head completely to the left to look at her with his right eye, but his smile was reassuring. “We’re gonna be okay, Miss Rachael. This is normal stuff.”
She tentatively smiled back.
It took her nearly an hour to realize something was different. She glanced around but, unsure how many of her memories were real or dreams, chose to lower her voice and ask only Nathan. “Didn’t we have another girl with us?”
Nathan opened his mouth to answer, but Eva cut him off. “Yes. Seritta.” Rachael warily turned. Without so much as a blink her way, Eva said calmly, “You need to be even quieter if you don’t want to be heard. It takes practice.”
That Aaron said absolutely nothing somehow made her embarrassment worse. Rachael mumbled an acknowledgement. “Where is she?”
“She left,” said Jackson from the front.
Rachael shook her head. “So... she wasn’t one of ours?”
This time Aaron answered. “Seritta found my methods... undesirable for raising an infant. She has returned to Avery.”
Thank God. He was still talking to her. “But isn’t he part of Olivia’s—?”
“Rachael, please,” he snapped. “I am in no mood to explain at the moment. Let us get to our destination. Then I will be happy to answer your questions.”
Rachael glowered out the window. They were no longer on I-80, she realized, and had turned off onto another highway headed east.
Eventually she couldn’t help but blurt, “I have to use a bathroom. Can we pull over somewhere?”
“No,” stated Aaron. “We are not stopping.”
Oh my God, what is his problem? she thought incredulously. Beside her, Nathan gave her a sympathetic look.
The ride was tortuous in its silence. Everybody but her seemed completely at ease, and it sparked Rachael’s anxiety. They couldn’t be planning to ditch her; Jackson wouldn’t be so calm. Unless he didn’t know.
Had she done something in the throes of the infection to upset Aaron? He mentioned she might have faded; what had she said? Or done?
For the first time in years, Rachael bit her nails. She worried three of them down before realizing what she’d done. Disgusted with herself, she shoved her hands beneath her lap and stared mutely out the window once more. But there was very little to see. Wherever this highway went, for the past half hour it had been nothing but pure sand and isolation.
Suddenly Aaron pulled off to the side of the road. Rachael looked up sharply. Once again nobody said anything. She considered asking what was going on. But she didn’t want him to get snippy with her again, so she just clenched her jaw.
Once he parked and turned off the engine, Aaron turned in his seat to face them. “Before we go, listen carefully. I do not want to repeat myself.”
Rachael reluctantly raised her eyes to him. He glanced at her momentarily, but he looked at each pack member in turn. To her right, Nathan slipped his hand into hers and curled his fingers. Rachael absently squeezed back.
Firmly, Aaron said, “Unless I say otherwise, we stay together. This will not be a pleasant walk. You will be hot, you will be tired, and you will be hungry. But we cannot stop until I say so. I promise now, once we reach our destination, you will have a chance to eat, bathe, sleep, and relax to your heart’s content. Until then, look out for each other. Keep your ears and eyes open. Be on high alert. Protect each other; protect your family. From here on out, we cannot afford to take on more lycans. It may be a long while until we are safe, even where I am taking you—and we must guide Rachael through her transition as smoothly as possible.”
He looked at her again, but then tore his eyes away. “This pack is family. Some by blood, but all by lycan nature. We have made a lot of enemies in the past few months, and I am aware much of that is my doing. So if you feel you do not want to be a part of this pack any longer, you must say so now. Nobody here will go after you. But if you cannot remain loyal for whatever reason, then you must decide before leaving this vehicle.” He frowned, more in thought than ire. “Consider this a pact. Should you choose to follow, you swear to put the pack first. You vow to respect your alpha, but also each other. Our strength has a unit has been challenged more than ever, and those who stay must keep strong.”
Rachael stared at him, a weird sense of giddiness throbbing in her veins. He was going to let them go? But how could any of them want to?
Was this meant to give her an out?
Surprisingly, Eva spoke first. “I’m not going anywhere, Boss.”
“Same,” agreed Jackson immediately.
Ana Sofia nodded her consent, and Rachael finally found her voice. “I’m staying.”
Nathan gazed straight ahead. From her position Rachael couldn’t see his good eye, but he appeared to be in thought. Slowly, he replied, “You said I could—”
“That still stands,” Aaron cut him off briskly. “But you must follow the pact regardless of the outcome.”
Jackson looked to his alpha quizzically, and Rachael realized that whatever had been said between Aaron and Nathan must have been in private. Nobody else knew what this promise was but them.
Nathan sighed and said, “Okay. I promise.”
Rachael flexed her fingers, still gripped tightly in his damp palm. Had Nathan truly considered striking out on his own? What was she missing?
But she had no time to think about it. Aaron nodded once before opening his door. Quickly the others followed suit and exited the van. Aaron gestured toward the north. They all began to walk.
It did, in fact, turn out to be an agonizingly long, painful, exhausting journey. Aaron took to the front, Jackson and Eva brought up the rear, and Nathan did not want to let go of her hand. Ana Sofia more or less trudged along by herself.
Though her legs hurt, Rachael eventually couldn’t stand the sight anymore and released Nathan to accompany the younger girl. Ana Sofia said nothing when Rachael looped one of her fingers through hers, but she did cast a grateful upward glance.
Apparently unhappy with the new arrangement, Nathan trotted ahead to catch up with Aaron. Neither brother said a word as they walked.
The entire situation seemed so bizarre. Rachael couldn’t shake the uncomfortable sensation that blanketed her.
And she still needed to use a bathroom. She bit down on an uncomfortable groan and reminded herself of their pact and Aaron’s promise. They had to stick together; once they reached the final destination, they could do as they liked.
Just when Rachael was certain she couldn’t take any more, something appeared in the far distance. She focused on that, though disappointingly found that made minutes drag by even longer. But as they drew nearer she could make out a modest house that looked as though it should have fallen to ruin long ago.
Pact of the Pack Page 19
