by Sheila Riley
‘Aunt Ruby is talking of permanently turning the house into a country hospital,’ Anna said, stretching luxuriantly under Ned’s tactile caress.
‘A hospital for rich clients, I suppose.’ He gave a low throaty laugh and Anna turned to face him.
‘She wouldn’t, would she?’ Anna could think of nothing worse than having that beautiful house turned into some kind of institution where veterans went to waste away.
‘Of course not,’ he said, gazing into her eyes, watching her dark pupils swell with desire. ‘Although, there will be many men who have seen the business end of trench mortar bombs, and gas attacks, who will need a place like Ashland Hall, with its clean air.’
Anna nodded, having seen first-hand the devastating effect of bombs and poisonous gas.
‘They will still need skilled nurses,’ Anna reminded him, and Ned hugged her even closer. ‘Although as a married woman I might not be able to continue working.’
He smiled, loving the way she was so single-minded about things she believed in. He also loved the way she was so set on doing things right. That was why he was determined to marry her as soon as possible. Ned knew he might be dead this time tomorrow. ‘I don’t want to sleep,’ he said in that husky drawl that made Anna’s insides turn to jelly. ‘I want you awake, loving me.’
She giggled when he turned her over, kissing her eyes, nibbling her ears, and nuzzling her throat, making her squeal with delight. She looked up into his love filled eyes.
‘I feel rejuvenated already,’ Ned laughed. ‘I need as much loving as possible before I go.’
‘What time are you leaving?’ Anna gasped, silently berating herself for asking. She did not want to think of war or of Ned leaving. She wanted to pretend they were on honeymoon, free to do as they pleased. However, she did not want to start her married life living a lie.
‘I won’t be gone long, darling,’ he said, wrapping his legs round her body.
‘Don’t put yourself in front of any shells, will you?’ Anna was well aware of his maverick reputation.
Ned laughed softly, cupping her face in the palm of his hands. ‘I’ll try not to.’ He placed a finger on her lips, to still any further words, and when he looked deeply into her eyes, he knew he had managed to allay her fears.
Anna was enjoying the nearness of him as they lay quietly spent, lulled by the gentle breeze coming through the window.
‘Do you mind terribly being Mrs Ned Kincaid?’ Ned asked, hardly recognisable to the boy he once was. His face serious now.
‘Terribly!’ Anna declared, visibly delighted, whilst gently mocking his seriousness. ‘Terribly, terribly, awfully.’ They were both laughing now, clinging to each other as if they would never let go.
‘So that’s a yes, then?’ Ned laughed, while Anna assumed a solemn expression, but not for long, when he pulled her to him, gently nipping her shoulder, her throat, her breasts… Anna squealed with unbridled delight. This was the most perfect day of her life.
‘I love you so much, Ned, it is almost unbearable.’ Her voice was full of wonder as, with his head resting on the palm of his hand, he gazed down into her face. ‘Somebody had to catch that unruly charm and I reckoned it should be me.’ Anna had never been this happy in all her life. So blissful, she wanted to fling her arms wide and shout it from the veranda, just beyond the French windows.
Ned pinned her, laughing, to the bed. He could not resist her beauty and her courage, something he had enjoyed from a young age. ‘I’ll give you unruly,’ he said.
‘Oh. Yes please,’ Anna purred, and the giggling squeal was impossible to hide when she wriggled from his grasp.
‘You minx, come here.’ Ned caught her, kissing her until she was helpless. Then, shuffling down the bed, the sheets tangled round their legs, Anna lay in the crook of his shoulder listening to his heartbeat, sleepy with delight and satisfaction.
‘This is perfect,’ she said lazily, ‘but there is just one thing that might put the fly in the ointment.’
‘What’s that, my precious darling?’ Ned asked, loosely curling her hair round his fingers.
‘Someone has got to tell Aunt Ruby she missed the wedding. She’ll be livid.’
‘I’ll let you deal with Ruby.’ Ned laughed. ‘I’d rather fight the Hun.’
As Anna draped her body across her new husband, she wished she could dissolve into his skin and be with him forever. His leaving did not bear thinking about. As she listened to the regular pattern of his breathing, she knew he had fallen asleep. Gently disentangling herself from his protective embrace, she slipped from the bed.
Gazing at him now, sleeping in the half-light, she could not think of a better time. He looked so handsome, so serene. Bittersweet tears rolled down her cheeks. She wanted to beg Ned not to go. If they had to die, she would rather they died together. She had already lost him once before. She could not bear the thought of living another single day without him. Ned turned, his hand subconsciously searching for her, and quickly Anna wiped away the indulgent tears with the pad of her hand.
She was being slightly hysterical, she knew. Of course he would not die. Ned was invincible. They had managed to survive Liverpool’s dockside streets. This awful war was a doddle. All they had to do was duck the bombs and bullets. Besides, there were rumours that it would be over soon. She would not allow him to go feeling guilty for leaving her. Thousands of men left their cherished women, every day.
Anna tried to push the awful belief to the back of her mind, when a niggling voice warned her that many men would never return to their loving wives. Nevertheless, she had to bury the notion. She must not let Ned see her distress, which some women wore like a badge of honour. However, try as she might, she could not stem the silent tears.
‘Don’t cry, my darling.’ Ned now awake slid from the bed. Draping the bed sheet round both of them, he stood behind her, wrapping his arms round her waist and brushing his warm lips across her bare silken shoulders. ‘I’ll be back quicker than you think.’
She sniffed, and turning to meet his gaze, Anna gave Ned a watery smile.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,’ she turned, pressing her face against his muscular chest.
‘Well, you shouldn’t go howling at the moon,’ he laughed, trying to lighten the mood. It worked.
‘I’ll have so much to keep me busy; I’ll hardly notice you’ve gone.’ Her heart ached just saying it. But Anna, now closely wrapped in Ned’s arms, felt that nothing could part them. However, all too soon their perfect world was shattered when there was a knock on the door. They knew what it meant.
Anna held Ned tight, as if, in doing so, she could prevent him from going, or she could make time stand still. ‘It’s too soon’ she whimpered. The promise she had made to herself, not to beg, went right out of the sash window.
‘I can’t breathe.’ His voice was a teasing rasp, and Anna self-consciously let him go.
Nonetheless, Ned pulled her back. Kissing her repeatedly, and then he kissed her some more.
‘The boat leaves in an hour,’ called the hotelier, through the locked door.
‘I’m ready,’ Ned called back. Anna noticed there were tears in his eyes too. ‘Grit,’ he said, wiping them away with his thumb.
‘I am going back to England and Ashland Hall with Sam soon.’
‘Which ship?’ Ned asked, hardly able to bear to take his eyes from Anna.
‘I join the Gigantic when it’s ready to sail later this month.’
‘I’ll keep an eye out for you.’ Ned told her unhooking his uniform trousers from behind the door.
‘Ships that pass…’ Anna said unable to finish her sentence as her throat tightened.
Ned, taking her in his arms, kissed her so desperately, it stilled any further words. He did not tell his new wife he was serving in a Q ship, a Special Operations vessel, and a major warship, considered a high-value target. All too soon, it was time to go.
‘When you come home again…’ Anna whispered, locked in
Ned’s arms until he gently eased her from him, his gentle kisses, like butterfly wings, preventing further words.
‘I have arranged a car to come and collect you,’ he said, turning away quickly. A gruff clearing of his throat told Anna that he, too, was so full of emotion to say any more.
‘Aye aye, Captain,’ Anna whispered, tears now spilling down her cheeks unable to stem their flow.
‘No, my darling,’ Ned gave her a crooked smile. He was trying to keep the mood light, Anna knew, but it was impossible. ‘I am merely a Royal Navy Chief.’
‘You are perfect to me. No matter what they call you.’ They gazed at one another for a long moment, drinking in the beauty and courage of each other. ‘Please don’t die.’
‘This is not goodbye, sweetheart,’ Ned reassured her. ‘True love never dies; it makes the heart stronger.’ He gave her one last lingering kiss, before her fingertips reluctantly broke from his. She could hear his footsteps now as they quickly descended the stairs.
Ned was gone.
Anna closed the door and, emotionally spent, she rested her head on her uplifted arms. She remained like that for many minutes, unable to move. Not wanting to continue without him. Her hand automatically went to her lips. She could still feel the imprint of his lips, the musky, manly scent of his skin on hers. Anna closed her eyes, imagining he was still here, in this room, quietly sleeping…
The full beam of the sun on her face should have evoked happy thoughts. Paradoxically it brought on that awful feeling of dread, which poured into her body, heart and soul like molten lead. The black cloud descended so quickly, and now cloaked her in its intensity, bringing back painful memories of those dreadful trips through Olden Passage. The harbinger, Anna thought, of everything bad that had ever happened to her.
Still, this was not Olden Passage. Those days were long gone. Lifting her hand to move a stray curl from her face, damp now from her tears, the brilliant glint of her new wedding ring in the rays of a breaking morn caught her eye. With every beat of her heart, she prayed he would be safe.
35
March 1918
Tenderly, Anna picked up her brother’s hand, checking the nailbed, her trained eyes examining the cuticles around his fingernails for any discolouration, which would tell her his body was starved of oxygen and he was dying. However, to her utter joy, they were a healthy pink.
‘He is recovering better than we expected,’ Sister said brightly. ‘He will be transferred to the hospital ship Gigantic this afternoon, and you will escort him.’ Then she turned to Ellie and said with more than a hint of eloquence, ‘Lady Eleanor will also accompany you.’
As she gathered the things, she would need for the journey, Anna placed Ned’s letters in her suitcase. There had been no word since he left, but she did not expect any. This was a war zone, and it was highly unlikely there would be any mail drops. All the ships and aircraft were busy elsewhere. She knew that. Maybe when things calmed down a bit, she hoped, the powers-that-be would get the letters through to them.
During the weeks at sea, Sam had been making steady progress and the doctors were hopeful he would make a full recovery.
‘He is going to need all the strength he can muster,’ Ellie said, ‘and there is something I have to tell you.’ She continued, ‘He is being well cared for by a very attentive nurse.’
‘That’s interesting,’ Anna said, Tell me more.’
‘She is Canadian,’ Ellie explained. ‘And she knows Sam very well. Her name is Millie.’
‘Millie?’ Anna asked, ‘I remember Daisy telling me that Sam is very fond of a girl called Millie. She is a Canadian nurse.’ Anna’s brows pleated. Surely, she could not be the same Millie?
‘By the way she is tending to his every need, I would say she might be the one.’
‘Really?’ Anna was relieved and perplexed at the same time. Obviously, she was glad that her brother was being so well looked after, but what if this nurse was Millie – his sweetheart? And what if he decided to go back to Canada to be with her?’
Anna liked the Canadian girl who had left her homeland to serve on the hospital ship. The daughter of a Canadian doctor, Millie told Anna, in their quiet moments, when neither of them could sleep, how Sam had come to be their house guest. Not the Home Child he had set out to be. She told Anna the tale of how he came to live with her doctor father and her family. Then, shyly, she told Anna that it was because of Sam, she decided to join the war.
‘My dad knows some powerful people,’ she said with a half-laugh. ‘I was astounded when they let me come on board, after being told Sam had been transferred on here.’
‘Thank you for taking care of him,’ Anna said with tears in her eyes. ‘If it wasn’t for your family, I dread to think what might have happened to him.’
‘He’s a fighter,’ Millie’s voice, laced with pride, was full of love for Sam, Anna could tell. ‘You must eat’, she urged, nodding towards the plate of food next to Anna.
‘You’re right,’ Anna said, knowing she was no good to Sam if she, too, became ill. She lifted the dome and grimaced: mashed potatoes, braised liver, watery cabbage, and soggy carrots, all covered in thick lumpy gravy. Her stomach lurched higher than the stormy waves. ‘I can’t,’ she said, retching, ‘maybe tomorrow.’
‘How about a piece of dry toast,’ Millie smiled, ‘or an arrowroot biscuit?’ They both looked at each other.
No. Surely not? Realisation dawned. Not so soon?
‘I can’t be pregnant!’ Anna exclaimed, spreading her hands across her abdomen.
‘You are a nurse,’ Millie smiled, ‘you, above all people, should know about these things.’
‘Perhaps a small sandwich,’ Anna said, stunned.
36
Back in Ashland Hall, Nipper was considered well enough to be sent home to be cared for by his mother, who brought Lottie with her to fetch him. He had trained himself to write with his left hand and gave Ruby a letter for Anna.
‘For when she comes home,’ he said, ‘she looked after me real good before she went to Flanders, and I never did tell her properly how sorry I am for the hurt caused all those years ago.’
‘You look after yourself, Nipper,’ said Ruby, ‘and when you are feeling up to it, there will always be a place for you here if you need a bit of work.’
‘Much obliged, Miss Ruby,’ said Nipper, eager to get back to normality. Whatever that was.
‘Anna will know you had nothing to do with what happened to her family.’ Ruby said, knowing Nipper would not have stood a chance trying to persuade his older brother to do some good. Jerky Woods only thought about himself.
‘You haven’t seen the last of me, Archie,’ Nipper told him and Archie was glad the young man had something to look forward to.
Lottie Woods does live here, yes?' Archie said, he liked to call into the shops and have a chinwag with Lottie and Izzie over a cup of tea and he wanted to see how Nipper was faring now he was home. The two women would be up in the flat for their midday meal any minute and Nipper had the cups prepared. He looked at the young woman, from the General Post Office knowing her arrival at the door was usually cause for alarm.
`I'll get her for you.’
`Why'd I be gettin' a telegram?' Lottie's eyebrows knitted together. She had not seen Jerry since that night when her baby died. A few of her cousins were at the Front, but surely, any word about them would go to their Pa. She wiped her hands nervously, heading to the door and prayed the news was not bad.
‘Telegrams never bring good news do they, Archie?’ Lottie said, looking defeated.
`I'll stay with you, Lass.' Archie’s voice did not betray the uneasiness he felt for the young woman, whom he had known since she was a nipper.
Lottie took the envelope; her hands were shaking as she opened it. `Jerry’s dead.’ Lottie said, her voice laden with shock. ‘He was buried at sea.’
`Hey, Lass, I'm so sorry for you, I’ll go and fetch Izzy,' Archie said quietly.
Izzy and Lottie had k
nown that Jerky had secured a job as an orderly on board a Royal Navy ship. Failing to dodge war work, the police convinced him it either was a life at sea or prison.
Lottie pushed the telegram into Izzy’s hand, then hurried to the scullery. They’ll all be glad, she thought, sitting at the well-scrubbed table picking up a potato peeler. Keep going. ‘Our separation don’t alter the fact he was my husband, I s’pose.’ She had loved him once, and she was sad that he was dead. Although not as sad as she might have been, if he had not put her through so much heartache, she suspected.
‘Lottie’s better off without him,’ Ellie said when she read Aunt Ruby’s letter telling how Lottie was coping.
‘He was still her husband. But you’re right, he was a bad lot.’ Anna’s voice drifted as if talking to herself. She had received news the week before that Ned was missing. However, she refused to believe he was dead. Not her Ned, he was too canny to die.
‘I wish I could take away your pain,’ Ellie said, holding her friend.
‘Aunt Ruby has offered Ned and me a cottage on the estate,’ Anna said with feigned cheer. ‘Ned loves the outdoor life, and he will work with Archie at Ashland Hall when the war is finally over.’ She refused to talk about him in the past tense.
‘I’m sorry you are going through all this.’ said Millie, taking a rare break from tending Sam. ‘It must be awful for you with your brother injured and your husband missing.’ Her voice lowered as if she were talking to a child. ‘But, Anna, there is something you must hold on to…’ her voice trailed.
