Ario and a woman stood in the front room taking orders.
"Pack my black Armani suit with my red tie and my gray pinstriped suit with my blue tie," he said to the woman.
She nodded and headed to his room.
"Bring the car around. I'll be down in ten minutes. Is the jet ready?"
"They are preparing it now," said Ario.
Razor nodded and caught a glimpse of Affina. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"Are you leaving?"
"I have a meeting out of town. I shouldn't be gone more than a day or two." He grabbed a bag and pulled a box out of it. "I got you a phone. I programmed my phone number into it so you can call me. I also put Ario's-"
"You're leaving me here?" A chill ran up her spine as the truth of her words made him tap his fingers together.
"I figured that you would probably want some time to-"
"Where are you going?"
He rubbed his eyebrow. "Idaho. There's a lodge there that I built outside of Wolf River-"
"I want to go. If you leave me here in this place by myself I'll go crazy. And I can't go outside because there are too many people."
"You don't have to walk. If you want to get out Ario can take you."
"I thought you were to take care of me, not Ario."
"And I am. I just think that-"
"Last night you were angry I went out and now you want to leave me here alone?"
He covered his face with his palms.
She didn't understand him at all. One minute he cared about her and protected her the next it was like he was trying to show her what a big man he'd become. And then when she went out she came home to find him drunk and angry. His constant fluctuation of emotions had her more confused than ever.
Her gut twisted into a knot. Maybe he really didn't want her there. Perhaps he wasn't going on the trip alone. Possibly he was taking a woman with him and didn't want her to know. It was obvious that his meeting the night before had been with a woman. Her scent had lingered on his neck. But then when she'd woken up screaming he'd been right there, on the other side of her door, begging her to let him in.
She pulled the sheet tighter around herself. "Whiskey invited me to go with him for the holiday weekend. Maybe I could go early-"
"No!" Raze rubbed his fingertips together and blew out a long breath. "I'll have Vita get you a suitcase." His voice came out even, but not pleased.
She stood there for several moments wanting to ask him if he'd planned on taking someone else on the trip, but she couldn't bear to hear his answer. Instead, she nodded and headed back to her room.
Affina grabbed the sides of her seat and stared out the window. A woman walked up and offered her a drink.
"This might help your nerves." The woman smiled.
Affina grabbed both glasses on the tray and downed them.
"It is perfectly safe to fly," Raze said. "Once we're in the air you won't even notice it."
Affina's heart thumped against her ribs and her saber paced in agitation remembering how she'd just been on a plane days before.
"Words are coming out of your mouth, but my saber isn't believing them," she said.
"Mr. Edge," came a voice over a speaker. "We are ready to take off."
Affina closed her eyes and offered up a silent prayer. She was in a large metal can about to soar into the sky like a bird. Her nails lengthened and bit into her leather seat.
The plane rolled forward and she bit her lip trying to keep from clawing her way out of the plane.
"Hey." Warm hands covered hers and she opened her eyes to find Raze had moved to the seat facing hers. He rubbed circles on the back of her hands.
The engines roared to life and a whine escaped her throat.
"Look at me," he said gently. "Remember the time you dared me to jump off the falls into the lake? I was what? Fifteen maybe. And you insisted that it was nothing, but I was terrified. So you took my hand and we jumped together. I always knew that with you holding my hand I could face anything."
"You... you squeezed my hand so tight I thought you might break my fingers."
He chuckled. "Well, you can return the favor now."
He pried her hands from the armrests and laced his fingers into hers as a wave of pressure knocked her back in her seat. She squeezed her eyelids shut and held her breath.
"Look at me," he said. "Focus on me. I'm right here, Fina."
No one had called her that since his disappearance. The sound of it on his lips made her open her eyes. Gone was the pretense and bravado. Left was the guy she'd known years before. Kind and attentive. She clutched his hands tight as the plane lifted into the air. Panic scratched up her spine and she had to force herself to stay in her seat.
"I'm- I'm sorry... about yesterday," she stammered. "I wasn't trying to upset you by bringing Whiskey to the apartment."
He gave her a tight smile. "Maybe I was just upset because I was jealous."
Jealous? Why would he be jealous of Whiskey?
His words lingered in the air and twirled around in her mind like dandelion seeds on the wind. The affection in his eyes made her heart gallop. She replayed the pleading sound in his voice from the night before. Begging her to let him in. She'd heard his heartbeat through the door and had smelled his anxiety on her behalf. But she'd forced herself to not allow him to see her weakness and instead she'd gone back to bed. Alone and frightened.
Minutes passed as the plane climbed into the air. Raze sat letting her crush his hands. The two of them gazed at each other without speaking. The years dropped away like the ground below them and they were back together and happy. No words needed. Only the peace and comfort they'd always brought to one another. The feeling of completeness as they just existed.
Her saber purred and a swirl of heat pooled in her belly. His deep emerald eyes drank her in and for a moment she could swear he looked like he wanted to kiss her. What would it feel like to kiss Razor? To feel his stubble scratch her cheek and taste his breath in her mouth. To feel his large hands knead her flesh until-
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
Her cheeks heated and she shook her head, clearing her thoughts. Somehow the plane had become ten degrees hotter than she remembered. A flash of him in his pajama bottoms, his body rippling with hard packed muscles had her pulling her hands away from his. Her pulse continued to hammer like a rabbit's right before the kill. She looked away from his prying eyes, knowing he could hear it.
"It's... just the plane," she said.
Soon the plane leveled out and the pressure eased. She blew out a deep breath and relaxed into her seat.
"Thank you," she said.
A funny smile played across his lips. "You're most welcome."
She forced herself to look out the window at the clouds beyond.
"How long is our trip?"
"About an hour. I'll turn on the television and you can watch something to entertain yourself."
Panic chilled her skin. "Where will you be?"
He chuckled and squeezed her hand. "Just over there."
Affina watched as he picked up the remote and turned on a screen and then handed it to her. His hand lingered on top of hers and she looked up at him. Without thinking she laid her head on his arm and rubbed her cheek on his jacket. She wished more than anything that he would take her in his arms, the way he had her first night and comfort her, but he didn't.
She sighed inwardly and shifted away from him. He stood and walked back to his seat by his computer. She had no interest in watching television, but pushed the button and changed the screen anyway.
"This place we are going, it is a place you bought?"
"It's a lodge. It was supposed to be for our clan."
Affina turned to look at him. "There is only us now."
He shrugged. "Sooner or later there will be more sabers. You will mate. I will mate. There will be children. For the past five years, I've bought and sold properties to get to this point. The point where I could have enough
to sustain it."
A place for their entire clan to live. For her to mate and him to mate. Affina swallowed hard and looked back at the screen. A home. A home she would share with Razor, but not as his mate. Not share his bed. Not bear his young. Her saber snarled. She didn't like that idea.
Affina flipped through show after show while Razor spoke on his phone and typed on his laptop. More than half a dozen times the stewardess asked Razor if he required anything else. Each time his gaze had slid to Affina and he'd given a tense smile and said no. The desperation wafting off the stewardess was all the information Affina needed. It had taken her a bit to figure it out, but it was obvious to her now. Something about women made them weak for men like Razor. First, it had been Tatia at the clothing store. Then Bethany in the apartment. Last night it had been yet another female's scent on his clothes. Now it was the stewardess.
Back home she'd never seen him flirt or show any interest in the females in the clan. He'd never danced with them at the firelight ceremonies. He'd never romped with them in the woods. He'd only ever spent time with her.
Five years he'd been gone from the clan and yet he didn't have a mate. Five years was a long time to be alone without any of your own kind, especially after just having come of age when your hormones were at their peak. But somehow she doubted he'd been completely alone.
* * *
Raze's saber paced inside. He didn't like flying any more than Affina did, but it was a necessary evil. He tried to concentrate on his work but found himself stealing glances at Affina every chance he got. Her very presence was enough to have him falling back into old habits. Habits of watching her, feeling for her, anticipating her needs so he could fulfill them before she even knew they were there. All things he'd done as a slave.
Five years he'd served in her father's house to earn his place in the clan. And from the beginning, her father had made it clear that his duty was to shadow and protect the princess. He'd learned from her, befriended her and confided in her. She'd been the lover he'd never obtained. Every touch, every look, every laugh had been his life. All in the hope that one day she would see him, not as a slave or a friend, but as a mate.
When Caris the stewardess arrived for the seventh time to ask if he needed anything, Raze snapped.
"If I need something I will let you know. Your job is to wait until you are called, not keep interrupting me."
The woman blanched and nodded before heading back to her station.
Affina looked at him. "Was that necessary?"
"Apparently it was since she has refused to leave me to my work."
"It's obvious that your superior male instinct has an effect on her. She only wishes to please you as she has undoubtedly done before."
The blood drained from his face.
"What will please me is for her to leave me alone," he said, subdued.
Affina got up from her seat and walked to him. "It makes me sad to see you like this. Years away and still you ended up just like him."
A chill raced up his spine. "Like who?"
She stared at him. "Your father."
The words were a kick in the gut.
"Isn't that how you ended up a slave in my father's house? Your father's need for superiority. His desire to dethrone my father. It got him killed and you enslaved until you could prove your worth. I've been here less than a week and already I can see in you the need to show those around you how important you are."
Raze opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
She placed her hand over his. "What happened to the boy I knew? I see him still in there. Somewhere inside you. Like when you held me. And when you rushed to my side last night. It's like you are afraid to let him out. Afraid to let people see the sweet young man that would rather apologize when he wasn't wrong than get in a fight. Are you afraid people will think you weak if you show them who you really are?"
"I'm not afraid of who I was. I grew up."
She shook her head. "Just because you grow up doesn't mean you get to be rude. Being an Alpha is not an excuse for being an asshole."
His saber swished his tail impatiently. "And being a former princess doesn't mean you get to judge everyone else. In case you haven't noticed, I am not a servant in your house anymore. I am a self-made man. I have the right to be respected."
There. He'd said it. He deserved to be treated as an equal. Respected for the male he had become. How could they ever have a relationship if she didn't see him as an equal?
Affina's eyes saddened and she gazed out the window in silence for a moment. "I always respected you, Razor. I respected the way you treated everyone with kindness. I respected how you held your tongue when others were unkind. I respected how you were clever and used your wits to get both of us out of situations. I respected how you treated every one of the lesser servants as your equal." She looked back at him. "I never saw you as my equal, it's true, because I always looked up to you and saw you as better. But now... Is it power you desire? Does it make you feel powerful to spread the legs of so many females? Is that why you do it?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Of the six females I've met since coming here you've bedded half of them. Tatia the shop girl, Bethany the secretary, this stewardess and presumably the female you were with yesterday. I know that five years is a long time to be without a clan or a mate but if I've met that many in only a few days, it makes me wonder how many more there are out there."
His throat dried like ash smoke. Don't ask. Please don't ask.
"How many have there been?"
Dammit. Why did it matter? She was the only one he wanted, and would ever want from now on.
"Ten?" Curiosity tinged her voice, but he could see the fear in her eyes as she licked her lips.
His saber's tail swished with so much anger Raze was sure that if it'd been possible he'd have ripped Raze to shreds for putting the sadness in Affina's eyes.
"Twenty? Forty? One hundred?" The last number came out barely above a whisper.
His tongue clung to the roof of his mouth. How did he explain? How did he now tell her how he felt about her? That the others meant nothing.
"You don't understand," he said finally. "You don't know what it has been like for me here. The temptations. Powerful men own this world. The weak do not survive."
Please, he pleaded silently. Please let her at least forgive him.
"You're right," she conceded. "I don't know. But let me ask you this Razor. What if we had arrived, and after all those years away you found that I'd lain with dozens of males. Maybe more. What would you think of me?"
The very idea of her being with dozens of males made his saber roar in protest.
"Your very expression answers the question," she said. "So tell me, why is it okay for you to bed that many, yet it would be abhorrent if I did it?"
Words failed him as shame covered him in a sticky coat of guilt.
"If it is true that you just couldn't resist, that this place made you do it, then I wish I had perished with the rest of our clan. If we can't move to a new place and stay true to who we are, what's the point?"
She stood before he could say anything and walked back to her seat.
Dammit. Why couldn't he let her see that this wasn't who he wanted to be? To tell her that years without her had forced him to seek solace anywhere he could. That he'd been wrong and he didn't want anyone else.
Truth was, he couldn't tell her because he didn't think she'd believe him. Even if she did, she'd never want him now. And if he was rejected by her, he didn't think he could survive it.
* * *
Sadness threatened to weigh Affina down and crush her. Until that moment she hadn't realized just how much she'd cared for Razor. They'd been friends, companions, and closer. But now thinking of him sharing himself with another woman, let alone dozens of them, left her numb. She finally realized what her saber had been trying to tell her for days. Razor was her mate. She didn't know how she hadn't figured it out b
efore. But how... how did she mate with someone who'd buried his loneliness in dozens of other women? Obviously, he didn't feel the same as she did.
She wasn't sure which was worse, loving someone who didn't love her in return, or feeling the mating bond for someone that she wasn't sure she could ever fully trust.
As the plane finally landed, greenery surrounded the runway making Affina's saber wake up and stretch. She needed to get out and run.
Razor gathered his things as the pilot opened the door and let down the stairs. He ducked through the doorway half his size and breathed in deep.
Affina approached the pilot. "Thank you for flying us here."
He tipped his hat. "Ma'am."
Affina squeezed through the small doorway and Razor held out his hand to help her down. She hesitated and then slid her fingers into his large palm. She stepped down but her shoe caught and she lurched forward. Without hesitation Razor caught her. Her frame pressed up against his fitting together in a natural blending. Though wider and taller, every inch of him felt exactly the same as she'd remembered. He stared at her with an expression she'd never seen aimed her way before. Desire.
Razor stood her on her feet. She swayed slightly as he bent and retrieved her shoe from the stairs and lifted her foot. Sliding the shoe on slowly, his large warm palm cupping her calf. Affina grabbed onto his shoulders to steady herself and warmth pooled in her belly as she imagined the touch of his hands on her bare skin. Her saber purred like a kitten.
Razor ran his hand up the back of her leg and over her rear to her waist as he stood. Goosebumps piled all over her skin as he pulled her close, their bodies connecting once more. His warm large palm splayed on her lower back. Heat rushed through her and her skin flushed with small beads of sweat. Her heartbeat quickened and she fought for air. His face loomed so close she could see every dark, thick eyelash and smell the scent of the mint he'd eaten minutes earlier. She leaned in closer wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on hers. To hear him tell her that she was the one he wanted, not the human women. To join their bodies and claim each other as mates, making him hers forever.
Tamed Under The Moon (Wolf River, ID. Book 4) Page 7
