“I’m her father. I won’t be able to stay, but I ask that he be able to go in my place. She has no other family.”
The woman looks to me and nods. “Follow me, please.”
Mr. Adler takes my hand in his. “Tell her I love her. Tell her I’m sorry and that I’m making it right, and as soon as I can, I’ll be up.”
“Mr. Adler, she’s still in a coma” I explain
“I know, but maybe she can hear you.” I nod then head out with the nurse.
I’m terrified. Terrified about what I’ll see, but even more so that I haven’t heard anything about my brother. God, please let him be okay.
Another two hours have passed, six hours in total since I walked into this hospital, and I’m still waiting to hear something about Chase. Thankfully Connie and Joan are downstairs waiting for any updates while I sit at Velyn’s bedside.
I was right when I said I’d be terrified. When I walked in here, I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to see. This is all one big nightmare. Velyn’s completely helpless, and I can’t do anything to fix it. I can’t even touch her because she’s covered from head to toe in bandages from the surgery. I just sit here and listen to the machines as they pump air into her lungs and sound off, indicating what her levels are.
This shouldn’t be happening.
I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees. “Hey babe, it’s me again—” I try and continue, but I can’t. I can’t even get enough air into my lungs. It’s like my whole body’s shutting it all out.
Needing to move, I get up and head out. When I step out of the room, Joan’s making her way down the hall.
“Dylan, the doctor is looking for you. They need you downstairs.”
She doesn’t even have time to finish the sentence and I’m already sprinting down the hall. I bypass the elevator and take the stairway, leaping flight by flight. When I reach the waiting area, Connie’s sitting there by herself.
“What’s going on with Chase? Where’s the doctor?”
She taps the seat beside her. “Sit, mi amor, the doctor will be here soon.”
I start to pace the room. “I can’t sit. It seems like that’s all I’ve been doing.”
Connie sits back in the chair, and when I look down to her hands, I notice the rosary. It’s nothing new, she’s always praying for something. But today, I don’t know; I almost feel the need to tell her to make it count.
“Mr. Dandridge?” I turn to the door, Connie standing up at my side when a tall older man walks in, closing the door behind him. “I’m Dr. Stalin.” He motions to the chairs. “Let’s take a seat.”
I let out a low rumble. “I don’t want to sit; I just want answers. What’s going on with my brother?”
He offers an understanding nod and moves in closer to Connie and me. “Mr. Dandridge, Chase sustained quite a few injuries; the most critical were to his head.”
“But he’ll be okay, right? You worked on him for hours, so he’s going to be okay.”
“Mr. Dandridge—”
“My damn name is Dylan. Tell me my brother’s going to be okay,” I yell.
Connie takes my hand in hers, squeezing it almost like she’s preparing for something. The doctor looks to me. “Dylan, you’re brother’s currently on life support—”
“But that just means he can’t breathe on his own. He can still come out of it.”
Dr. Stalin shakes his head, but before he says anything, I see it in his eyes. “I’m sorry, but your brother no longer has brain function. Dylan, there’s nothing more we can do.”
It’s like all the air has been knocked out of my lungs. The room’s spinning and my legs fall out from underneath me. It’s faint, but the only other thing I can hear are the broken cries from Connie as she falls beside me.
“I’ll give you both a moment to process. It can be a lot, so please take your time. We can discuss the next steps when you’re ready.”
I look up to the doctor. “Next steps?”
“Dylan, as Chase’s guardian, you still need to give us your consent to remove him from life support.”
“Are you telling me I have to decide to end my brother’s life?” My words are barely audible through my choked sobs.
“I understand it’s difficult,” the doctor replies.
“Really? Do you? Do you have any idea what you’re asking me? You’re asking me to kill my seventeen-year-old brother,” I let out, standing to my feet.
“Dylan, you’re not killing him, he’s already gone. The machines he’s hooked up to are what’s keeping his body alive and nothing more.”
I rub my eyes with the heel of my palm and clear my throat. “I need to get out of here.” Moving past the doctor, I leave him and Connie in the room.
I can’t do this. Not now—not ever.
Chapter 20
Velyn
When I first woke up, I had no recollection of anything that had happened. All I knew was that I couldn’t move.
Joan was the first person I saw with her gentle eyes lighting up as I came to. Then sadness followed. She didn’t tell me much at first, only revealing little by little. She kept saying that there was plenty of time for the details and that all I needed to do was focus on getting better. It wasn’t until a week after that I’d learned of Chase’s passing. At that point, it had already been three weeks since the accident. They had a small burial for him with most of his family and friends in attendance—all except for Dylan.
No one’s seen or heard from him since the day of the accident. The day he found out his brother was gone. I’m worried about him. Chase kept him grounded. He was his family, the only one he felt he had. Without Chase in his life, Dylan will be lost, much like my father was when my mother died.
“Velyn, sweetheart, are you up for a visit?”
I look to the door, and this is one of the rare times I feel happy. The one time of day that everything seems like it’ll work out and be okay again and that the pain, both physical and emotional, will go away.
“Daddy,” I greet with a smile.
“Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling today?”
It had to take almost losing me for my father to sober up, but none of that matters. He’s currently forty-two days sober, not having touched a drop since the day of the accident. Thankfully, Stu and Joan were there to help get him through the first few days of detox then managed to get him into a rehab facility in the area. His journey’s going to be a long one, but I believe in him because when I look into his eyes, I now see the man I always remembered from before…my father.
“How long do you have?” I ask.
He comes to my side taking my hand in his. “Thirty-minutes. I have a new worker today, and she’s somewhat of a warden.”
I let out a chuckle. “Keeping you in line, is she?”
“She is.”
“How have your meetings with the clinic psychologist been going?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Okay, I guess. She’s still really trying to get me to open up about your mom. She seems to think if I can’t get through my feelings about that, I'm just going to be caught in a cycle. I don't know; I just don’t feel like I'm ready to talk about her yet.”
“Dad, I don’t know how any of that works, and honestly, I’m just over the moon with excitement that you’re working toward getting better. But maybe try it. She’s a professional and deals with this stuff every day. She may have a point when saying that dealing with your feelings about mom’s death is what’s really going to progress your recovery.”
He shrugs then smiles, squeezing my hand. “Enough about that; I’m boring. I want to hear about you. Have the doctor’s been in today? Is there any news?”
“Not yet, but when I had my physical therapy this morning, Clyde said I was doing great. I’m still struggling with my coordination, but I guess that’s expected,” I explain.
“That’s good,” my father says, a smile wide across his mouth.
I let out a breath, not sure if I should bring up the next
topic, but I feel it’s better now than when he gets home. “Dad, I had to tell Joan to speak with Mr. Volpe, our landlord. I’m behind on rent and we
won’t be able to come up with the next month’s either.”
He searches between my eyes. “There has to be something we can do. I can leave rehab early—find a job.”
“No, you’re not leaving rehab. Dad, it’s a setback, that’s all. I spoke with Joan and Stu, and they were adamant that we use the apartment above the diner. It’s a bachelor pad, so only one bedroom and super tiny, but we can make due until we can save up again for our own place.”
He nods. “I guess you’re right. That’s very kind of them. They’ve really been good to you through everything. I don’t even know how I’ll repay them for how they have looked out for you these past couple years, and for what they’ve done for me.”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” I reply.
My father smiles. “Have you heard anything more about Dylan. Your friends Jordan and Ava, are they still looking for him?”
At the mention of his name, my body vibrates, and the tears well up in my eyes. “They are. Every time they get some sort of lead, they follow it, but they haven’t found him.”
The door to my room opens, and an older, very tiny woman steps inside. “Time to get a move on, Adler.”
My father lets out a groan turning to me. “The warden has spoken. Sorry, kid. Can we carry this on tomorrow?”
“Same bat-time!” I let out with a chuckle.
My father smiles. “Same Bat-channel!” He leans over, kissing me on the cheek then heads out.
I miss him when he leaves, but knowing he’s getting better gives me some solace, the only kind I get considering my heart’s in a million pieces and I don’t know that it will ever be fixed.
I hate the nights, that’s when I struggle with it all the most. My nights here are long, and the whole light’s out at nine with the floor being completely dark doesn’t help. I will usually fall asleep after a little tossing and turning, but then wake when a monitor sounds or one of the nurses comes to change my IV. But tonight, it’s different. Tonight, I feel something I haven’t felt in a while—peace!
There’s only ever been one person who made me feel like this. My eyes shoot open and I try to search the room, but only the faint glow of the monitor provides any kind of light, so instead, I call out in a whisper. “Dylan?”
There’s no reply, so I call out again. “Dylan, if that’s you, please say something.” Still no response. My heart sinks a little in my chest, and the calm that was there quickly disappears.
I stay awake a little while longer, raking my brain for places where Dylan could be, then eventually I nod off, falling into a deep sleep this time and not waking until morning.
I wake to the sound of the nurse in my room once again adjusting my monitor.
“Good morning, how are you feeling today?”
With my eyelids still heavy from sleep, I give them a moment to adjust, then offer her a smile and reply, “I’m feeling pretty good.”
She finishes up with the IV then moves to the other side of my bed to come and check on some of the bandages. That’s when I notice the package.
“When was that brought in?” I ask.
She looks to where I’m pointing. “I’m not sure, but visiting hours haven’t started yet, so it must have been put there yesterday.”
I shake my head. “No, that wasn’t there last night.”
She looks to me in question then shrugs. “Maybe someone dropped it off at the front desk, and one of the night nurses brought it in.” She finishes up then moves to the package. “Would you like it?”
“Yes, please.”
The nurse lifts the beautifully wrapped fair-sized box and places it on my table, then rolls it over my bed. I open the small envelope on top and pull out the card.
It reads, ‘He would want you to have it!’
A warm shiver runs through my body. I open the box and when I remove the tissue paper, Chase’s chessboard and all the pieces are carefully placed inside.
The tears come instantly, followed by a heaviness in my heart. “It was him. He was here. I knew it. I felt him here.”
The nurse who looks both concerned and intrigued if that’s possible, asks, “Who was here?”
I look to her with a soft smile. “Dylan.”
Jordan and Ava arrive shortly after lunch. The two have been incredible. Ava went to the school's administration, taking care of all the paperwork for a leave from studies and even had them hold a place for
me next term in case I was ready to return. Jordan and a few guys from the university football team, moved all the stuff out of the apartment and into Joan’s diner bachelor pad after she had packed the whole place up.
“He was here!”
Eyes wide, Ava looks to me. “You saw him?”
I shake my head. “No, but it’s like I could feel him in the room. When I called out, he didn’t respond. But this morning there was a box for me sitting on the dresser, all wrapped and everything.”
“Who are we talking about?” Jordan asks, not having caught on as quickly as Ava.
“Dylan!” Both Ava and I respond.
“Dylan? Are you sure? The last lead that Ava and I got was that he was in Virginia,” Jordan mentions.
I look to him, confused. “Virginia? What could possibly be in Virginia that would have his interest?”
Jordan looks down to his hands. “It’s not necessarily what, Vel.”
My heart drops, and a heaviness falls over me. “You think he’s with someone.” It’s a statement, not a question.
Ava straightens, taking my hand in hers. “Velyn, don’t listen to him. He’s making assumptions based on Dylan’s past.”
I try to keep the tears from falling, but still one escapes. I look to Jordan, and I see it in his gaze. “Jordan’s right. Everything changed when Chase died. Things were rocky before because of what happened with his dad; I guess this just finalized it all.” I let out a breath wiping away the tears and turn to look out the window. “I don’t blame him. Anyone who was in their right mind would walk away from this.”
The three of us are silent as we let the reality sink in then Jordan’s head shoots up. “Did you open the box?”
“Huh?” I ask not having time to register what he was asking.
“The box, Velyn, you said you got a box. Did you open it?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“What was it?” he questions.
“Chase’s chessboard,” I reply.
Jordan’s lips part with a broad smile. “I know where he is.”
It took Jordan a couple of days to get the answers we were looking for, but he did, and now I’m left with the decision to follow through or just leave
Dylan be. That’s obviously how he wants it.
I used to text him daily in hopes that he’d respond. Hell, I would’ve been happy with one of those ‘colon + P’ things that Chase once told me were a yellow face sticking its tongue out. Ava even gave me one of her old phones so that I could see it if he sent one, but Dylan never replied. Now I just send the texts because when the little word ‘read’ appears under my message, at least I know he’s okay and that he knows I'm not giving up.
There’s a light tap at my door, and I try to adjust myself as best I can before I call out.
“Come in.”
The door opens, and Connie pops her head inside. “Hermosa, how do you feel?”
I smile, waving her in. She moves past the door and to the side of my bed, taking a seat beside me.
“I’m good. Slowly getting better every day. How are you?”
She shrugs. “I cry. I cry every day for Chase.”
“I know, me too.”
She takes my hand in hers. “Jordan say you want to talk to me. What can I do for you, Velyn?”
I look into her eyes. “Connie, I need you to tell Dylan to come to see me.” Her eyes go wide, unsure of how to res
pond. “Jordan figured it out. When Mr. Dandridge told you to clear out Chase’s room and get rid of his belongings, you couldn’t, so you asked Jordan to put it away in your storage locker. He remembers Chase’s chessboard being one of those things. The same chessboard that a few days ago showed up in my room here in a neatly wrapped box with a bow. There are only one of three people that could’ve done that, and I know neither you nor Jordan did it.”
Her lip trembles but not with fear or sadness; it’s almost like relief as the sigh comes out from between her lips.
“Velyn, he made me promise. He made me not tell anyone that he was staying at my home,” she confesses.
“I don’t understand; why?”
Her shoulders slump and the tears are still falling. “He said he needs time.”
That's all I needed to hear, and if time is what Dylan feels he needs, then that’s what I’ll give him.
Chapter 21
Dylan
‘Dylan
I’ve reached out with no response. I’ve waited for what feels like a lifetime. I’ve grieved alone.
I loved him too, and losing Chase is tearing me apart; it’s torn us apart. There’s a void now that I know will never be filled, and that makes me want to give up. But then I remember my father and how he gave up. How every day I would think to myself that he still had so much to live for. I know that’s exactly what Chase would be reminding me of, and telling me to not stop living.
I will give you time. I will provide you with the distance that you need. However, I won’t let Chase down—like him; I’m going to live my best life, I just hope you'll be able to live yours right beside me.
I love you, Dylan—with all my heart and forever!
When Connie returned home today, she handed me the letter. It was like a window to the outside world, showing me that everything was falling apart. I’m hurting her, and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to love Velyn without her leaving. Everyone I love leaves.
“You have to go and see her, mi amor. She is hurting too.”
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