Holding Out for You

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Holding Out for You Page 26

by Anna Paige


  I had to swallow past the lump in my throat before I could speak, but once I laid out my plan, Phil was immediately on board.

  It was all coming together.

  Blair

  Never have my classes dragged on as slowly as they did on that particular Thursday. Every lecture was torture, every tick of the clock lagging, like time itself was messing with me.

  I was antsy, restless, excited, and nervous as all hell.

  I’d slept like shit again the night before, dreams of sitting naked on a witness stand while a courtroom full of people gaped and pointed, their hisses of hatred and disapproval all but drowning out my testimony.

  Refusing to lose another minute of my life to Tommy, I forced myself to focus on my date instead. It didn’t take as much effort as I expected, given how excited I was to see what the night would bring.

  While my professor was discussing . . . crap, I wasn’t even sure what the topic was . . . I was planning my outfit, reminding myself to shave, and debating over and over again on what to do with my hair. I’d talked Charli’s ear off on the way to campus this morning and it was a wonder she didn’t slap me silly.

  Charli was not a morning person.

  Not even a little bit.

  But she gave me a pass most of the time because she loved me. And today I was doubly deserving of a little leeway, since I was on the verge of total nuclear meltdown.

  When my last class was over, I shot out of my chair like I’d been goosed and hauled ass to the parking lot to meet Charli. She was barely a minute behind me, breathing heavily after a long sprint from the farthest building on campus, where her final class of the day was held.

  “If I stroke out and die because you rushed me, I plan to haunt your ass relentlessly. You’ll never have to worry about getting laid ever again with me stalking you and rattling my chains.”

  “Chains, huh? Even as a ghost you’d be a kinky bitch. Who’s surprised?” I looked around, pretending I had an audience. “Yeah, me neither.” I turned back to her, waving at her to get moving. “Now get in and help me figure out what to do with my hair.”

  She rolled her eyes and yanked the door open. “Not an ounce of sympathy for my poor, burning lungs and calves, I see.”

  “Nope. The price of being a bestie.” I blew her a kiss over the car’s roof and climbed in.

  It was almost time.

  A quick, obligatory stop at my parents’ to show them I was okay, and we’d be free to start prepping for tonight.

  Charli wasn’t the only one on the verge of stroking out.

  It kept hitting me over and over.

  I was dating Ashton Hunter.

  Holy shit.

  “So, you gonna actually let him see that slutty bra and panty set or what?” Charli took another bite of the Pop Tart in her hand, sending a fine mist of crumbs to the floor of my bedroom as she gestured to the brand-new black and fuchsia lace-fringed set I was wearing. It wasn’t pure lace, but at least this bra covered the majority of the angry, greenish remnants of the bite marks on my breasts. What it didn’t cover, my shirt would. I knew because I’d checked. Twice.

  I sat at my dressing table, trying to concentrate on my makeup. “It’s not slutty. It’s sexy. And I don’t know what he will or won’t see. I’m trying not to think that far ahead.”

  “Did you shave your hoo-ha?”

  “Charli!” I nearly poked my eye out with my mascara wand.

  “Well, did you?”

  I refused to answer and in doing so, basically gave her my answer.

  “Then you are, in fact, thinking that far ahead.” She took a giant bite of her Pop Tart and winked. “I’ve heard some pretty encouraging things about his . . . abilities in the bedroom.”

  “So have I, but I’m doing my best not to think about that stuff right now. So, if you stand there and put images of him with someone else in my head, I swear to God I will shred every pair of designer jeans in your closet.” I pointed at her reflection in the mirror. “And that Prada bag? I’ll take it to the dog park and have everyone there drop their crap bags into it. Or maybe I won’t make them use the bags . . .” I tapped my chin, thinking.

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was trying to be encouraging, not upset you.”

  “Let’s talk about something else. When are you and Beck going out?”

  “Tomorrow. He’s more traditional, not wanting to go out on a school night because he says he doesn’t want to worry about how late we’re out. I told him I’d nap in class and just get the recording from someone else, but you know Beck.”

  “Mr. Straight and Narrow.”

  She grinned. “That’s him. Mostly.”

  I turned on my chair and gave her a sideways look. “What do you mean mostly?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing, my lace-covered ass. Spill it. I’ve told you everything.”

  “Yeah, but Ash isn’t my brother.”

  “So what? I think I can handle it, at least as much as has happened at this point.” I paused, frowning. “Unless you two have already . . .”

  “Oh my God, no. Nothing like that. We’ve just been texting a lot. Even when he’s out there on the couch, we talked half the night and it got kind of steamy by the end.”

  “Sexting? Really? That’s what you thought I’d get all squeamish about?”

  “Not in general, but if I told you the content of those sexts, you might be singing a different tune.”

  I went to argue with her and stopped myself. “Okay, maybe you don’t have to give me the fine details. Broad strokes.”

  She giggled. “Deal. But I want to hear every dirty detail of you and Ash’s date.”

  “Maybe I don’t kiss and tell.”

  “You told me enough about Cliff that I could probably draw him naked just from the amount of times you described it to me.”

  “That wasn’t me kissing and telling. That was me screwing and regretting. Totally different thing.”

  She dusted her hands off on her pants and flopped on the bed. “I’m kind of stoked that you might finally get some good lovin’ tonight. Lord knows you’ve waited long enough between attempts.”

  “If your first time had been like mine, you might understand why I’ve been in no particular rush to even see another penis. Cliff was just . . . well, you’ve heard enough to know. Talk about not living up to the hype.” I groaned.

  “I bet Ash will. And then some.”

  I thought back on those heated kisses we’d exchanged the other night and I could feel my face heating. “He’s already leaps and bounds ahead of expectations.” I stood and Charli handed me my top. “Have you ever had someone give you a kiss so great your lady bits fluttered until you wondered if you were about to get off from it?”

  She handed me my jeans and shook her head. “Either that man is one hell of a kisser or you’re in desperate need of an orgasm.”

  “It’s both, but that doesn’t negate the fact that when he kissed me, I almost came.” I slid on my heels and checked myself in the mirror, doing a little spin for Charli’s perusal. “What do you think?”

  She eyed my cleavage and grinned, pushing herself up and off the bed. “I think you won’t be the only one on the verge of coming. He’s gonna take one look at your ass in those jeans—or your tits barely in that shirt—and that poor bastard is gonna need a towel.”

  I grinned right back, adjusting my boobs to sit slightly higher in my bra. “Perfect.”

  Blair

  Charli made some excuse about needing to hit the books, locking herself in her room and leaving me to pass that last half hour with a thousand butterflies swarming in my stomach.

  Beck was coming by within the hour, his timing suspiciously just after I was due to leave for my date.

  I knew Beck was just being considerate, so he didn’t make me even more nervous with his presence. And Charli was making herself scarce so she wouldn’t be in the way, but I was barely a breath away from begging her not to go in case I needed someone to get
me a paper bag to breathe into.

  By the time Ash rang the bell, I was a bundle of nerves and completely convinced I was going to do something humiliating enough to send him screaming from my presence.

  On shaky legs that threatened to dump me right off my heels, I wobbled to the door and took a deep, fortifying breath.

  I can do this. It’s just Ash. I’ve known him basically all my life.

  I nodded to myself, squaring my shoulders as I reached for the knob.

  Yeah, but tonight I may get to reeeally know him.

  Gulp.

  That little voice in my head was killing me today.

  I swung the damn door open before I could lose my nerve, and all I could see was lilies. Pristine white, fragrant, and plentiful. There must have been a hundred of them in the giant bouquet Ash was holding in front of his face with both hands. “Ash, they’re beautiful.”

  Slowly, he lowered it and peeked at me over the top of the petals. “No, sweetheart. You’re beautiful. These? These are heavy.” He grunted as the bouquet listed to the side.

  Laughing, I stepped back and held the door wide. “Just sit them on the table.”

  He did so and the moment he turned back to me, looking like he was on the verge of saying something, he froze on a soft gasp and his eyes practically bugged out of his head like a cartoon character. “Sweet Lord, you look incredible.” He dragged his gaze slowly from my feet all the way up the length of my body, lingering on my chest for a beat longer than the rest. “Is it possible to have a coronary at twenty-four? Because that outfit has me on the verge of one, I think.”

  “It’s jeans and a blouse, Ash. Not exactly fancy couture.” I could feel myself blushing, but the hungry way he was looking at me left me unable to control it.

  “It’s stunning. You’re stunning.” He actually ran a hand over his mouth like he was checking for drool. “And it’s going to kill me to say this, but you’re probably gonna want to take that off.”

  “Beg your pardon?”

  Was that supposed to be a proposition or a prediction or what?

  “We’re going to cover a lot of ground tonight and I don’t think those heels are going to serve you well for any of it. And your . . . um . . . top? Major wardrobe malfunction potential.”

  I glanced down at my chest. “What the hell are we doing? Bungee jumping?”

  He snorted, but his eyes were locked on my rack. “No, but maybe on our second date.”

  “Smartass.” I blew out a breath, slipping my shoes off. “Tennis shoes and a more covering shirt okay?”

  “Definitely. Sorry, I couldn’t really tell you in advance what to wear because I knew you’d press me for details.”

  I headed off to my room with an indignant huff. “You think you know me so well, don’t you?”

  “Baby, I know you better than you know yourself. And tonight, I’m going to prove it to you.”

  Once in my room, I ditched my fancy, low-cut blouse for a fitted crew neck T-shirt and replaced my heels with a pair of Chucks I’d had forever.

  “Hey, you might want to bring a sweater. It’s been getting chilly at night,” he called from the hall.

  I couldn’t help smiling as I snatched his hoodie off my bed, where it’d been the last few nights. “I have the perfect thing.”

  Once we were in Ash’s truck and on our way, I found that my nerves had all but abated. At least for now. I was more curious about the destination than anything, but I knew it wouldn’t last and I’d be a nervous wreck again soon.

  It was funny how I was ready to jump his bones the other night but now that I’d had time to really think about it, I was stunned at how bold I’d been. I guess I was more of an “in the moment” type of girl.

  “So, where are we headed that heels would be a bad idea?”

  “Lots of places. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and pretended to pout.

  “You know, when you poke your bottom lip out like that, it makes me really want to bite it. And lick it. And suck on it.”

  “Ash.” I ducked my head to hide my blush.

  “My point is, I’m having a hard enough time keeping this thing between the lines with you looking like a damn Greek goddess over there and smelling so good my damn mouth is watering, so if you don’t mind, please pull that lip back in before I run us in a ditch. A man can only take so much.”

  Despite the almost overwhelming urge to smile at his words, I kept my lip poked out and my pouty posture locked in place.

  A few moments passed and Ash startled me by saying, “Okay, dammit. Have it your way.”

  With that, he jerked the wheel hard enough to make the truck fishtail and we skidded to a stop in the abandoned parking lot of the old hardware store on Main.

  “Ashton, what the h—”

  Before I could finish speaking, his mouth was on mine and true to his word, he worked my bottom lip over with his teeth and tongue until I was sighing into his mouth and melting into the seat, my hands tangled in his shirt as I tried to drag him across the console and on top of me.

  His left hand came to rest on my side, just inches below my breast, but didn’t wander any closer. He did, however, dig his fingertips into my flesh as the kiss got deeper and deeper.

  He broke away from my lips long enough to nibble my neck just below my ear and whisper, “This isn’t one of the stops, baby, but I had to have this now or I was going to lose my shit.” He nipped my earlobe and pulled away, resettling himself in the driver’s seat as he cleared his throat. “Now that I got that out of my system, I should be able to think straight enough to drive.”

  “I’m glad you can think straight.” I put a hand to my face, feeling the flush of my cheeks as my blood roared in my ears. “To use your word, I’m all discombobulated now.”

  He chuckled as he merged us back onto the main road. “I’m not even sorry, Miss Pouty Lips. You brought it on yourself.”

  That I did.

  And, like him, I wasn’t even sorry.

  Ashton

  The moment I put the truck in park, Blair started smiling.

  “Really? This is your big surprise?”

  I leaned over the console, fishing around in the back seat and snagging the duffle bag I’d stashed there earlier. She started laughing as I reached inside and pulled out a pair of pink rollerblades, handing them to her.

  “I thought a stroll down memory lane was in order but strolling sounds a little slow for the two of us, so I found a way to kick it up a notch.” I toed off my boots and slid my seat back so I had room to get mine on. “And this time, I’ll be right beside you, so you won’t take a tumble.”

  “Not interested in kissing any boo-boos today?”

  I looked up from what I was doing. “I’ll kiss anything you’ll allow me to, sweetheart. No need to scrape up your knee to get my lips on you.”

  She snorted as she finished buckling hers up. “I haven’t done this in forever, so I’m pretty sure I’ll end up in the bushes somewhere no matter what.”

  “You should have more faith in yourself. And if you do falter, have faith that I’ve got you. No matter what.”

  “It’s not about faith in you or myself. It’s about a lack of coordination coupled with nervous energy.”

  “Am I making you nervous?” I leaned back after fastening the last strap and leveled my gaze at her.

  She offered a small, tentative smile. “Not you specifically. Just first date jitters, that’s all.”

  I reached across the console and took her hand in mine. “Would it help if I told you I have first date jitters, too?”

  Her eyes widened a bit at that. “You do? I didn’t think you were capable of being nervous.”

  “Of course I’ve been nervous, Blair. Tonight is the culmination of more than two years of waiting and wishing. I’m terrified of fucking it up just when I’m on the verge of having everything I always wanted. So, yeah. Nervous is an understatement. Or it was, until you opened tha
t door and I realized that no matter how much pressure I put on myself for tonight to be perfect, it’s still just you and me. The same you and me who have spent our entire lives in each other’s presence. The same you and me who fought and laughed and shared all of our big memories together, even if we weren’t together at the time. It’s the same you I tickled on that sidewalk over there, to stop you from crying when you skinned your knee.” I pointed about twenty yards down the sidewalk, right beside the giant oak I’d stood under and watched her skate away on shaky legs, like she was determined not to let her fall ruin our good time.

  “Once I reminded myself that this wasn’t a new relationship, the nerves died down. Because this isn’t a new relationship, Blair. This is a natural progression between two people who have had a connection all their lives; something that has been building and evolving over nearly two decades.” I squeezed her hand and reluctantly let go. “That’s what tonight is about. Taking you on a guided tour of where we’ve been to set us on the path to where this was always going.”

  I gave her a quick wink and threw my door open. “Stay right there, baby. I don’t want those skates to touch the ground until I’m holding your hand.”

  When I got to her door and went to help her from the truck, there were tears in her eyes.

  “Oh my God, Ash. That was so much fun.” Her breath was uneven, and she was bouncing around in the seat so much I was having a hard time getting her skates off. I’d helped her into the truck and asked her to turn sideways so I could stand outside her door and help her swap out her skates for her Chucks.

  “I aim to please.” I grinned as I tugged off her right skate. “And you were graceful as a swan out there. Lack of coordination, my ass. I was the one who almost face-planted.”

  “Twice,” she corrected on a giggle. “But you managed to recover. And it’s a good thing too. I’d hate to see you scrape up that gorgeous face, Mr. Blond Adonis.”

 

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