“Are you two going to get married?” one asked.
“No!” Sara and Matt said swiftly, while the adults laughed.
“Never say never,” Chase McCabe said, as he and his wife, Mitzy, pushed the stroller that held their quadruplets. The two had been sworn enemies, until a business calamity the previous Christmas had brought them together. He wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “We’re living proof that miracles can still happen, even in this day and age!”
“I wouldn’t mind receiving one,” an aproned Lulu said, coming up to join the group.
“Your time will come,” Matt’s dad, Frank McCabe, predicted warmly. He walked over to welcome Matt and Sara, too. “Don’t let them tease you too much,” the tall, silver-haired rancher quipped.
Sara smiled back. “I can handle it. What I do need to know is where I should put the strawberry shortcake we brought for the potluck.”
Frank directed, “Rachel is setting up a buffet on the screened-in back porch.”
Relieved to be away from any of the questions she had a feeling were going to be coming up from the siblings, Sara headed for the rear of the house while Matt and his dad took charge of Charley and Champ.
Matt’s mom, Rachel, was indeed on the back porch, setting out a lovely spread of homemade dishes. During the week, in town, the petite dynamo put her silvery blond hair up and wore suits and heels befitting her job as a tax attorney. On weekends, she left her hair down and dressed like a rancher’s wife in jeans, boots and feminine cotton blouses. “Where would you like these?” Sara asked, showing Matt’s mom what she had.
Rachel smiled. “Over here.”
Sara stepped back. “Anything else I can do?”
“If you want to help me finish setting the table I won’t say no.” Rachel handed over a basket of silverware. “So how have you been?”
“Good,” Sara was surprised to admit, even more so since Matt had come into her life.
Rachel went down the row, placing napkins. “How’s Matt?”
Sara tensed. “Isn’t that a question for him?”
“It would be—if he would ever tell me anything.” Rachel paused. “Really, how does he seem to you?”
Torn, Sara hedged, “I’m not sure I can describe...”
“Try.”
Finished with the silverware, Sara started putting out the glasses. “He’s been very kind and helpful with Charley and Champ...”
Rachel added plates. “The word around town is that you’ve been seeing each other almost every day.”
Sara nodded. “That’s true.”
Rachel straightened. “Are the two of you dating?”
Heat spread from the center of Sara’s chest, into her face. “Matt—and I,” Sara added uncomfortably, “would prefer not to put a label on it.”
“So, in other words, yes.”
Gosh, Rachel was persistent! But then so were most of the McCabes. And most moms, when it came to protecting their offspring.
“So, in other words,” Sara corrected, taking an equally persistent and matter-of-fact tact, “Matt and I are reestablishing a friendship we both thought was long over. We’re finding we had more in common than we knew.” She flashed a friendly smile. “So, it’s all good.”
Except for one thing...
Figuring as long as they were talking candidly, she could ask a question or two also, Sara moved a little closer and continued, “What I don’t get is why you and the rest of the family are so worried about him. I mean, he’s as stubborn as he always was, but he seems fine to me.” More than fine, actually, given what had happened to him and Mutt.
Rachel sighed. “I guess it’s because, until very recently, he had seemed to be spending too much time alone. Not dating anyone. Which in turn made me wonder if he’s really over the other military widow he was involved with.”
Other military widow? Sara blinked, feeling gobsmacked. “What are you talking about?”
Rachel paused. “You don’t know about Janelle?”
Feeling like she’d just taken a blow to the chest, Sara shook her head. “No,” she said, just as Matt walked up to the porch, Charley in his arms.
The silence, already really awkward and rife with emotion, turned even more so. A fact Matt was quick to pick up on.
“Really, Mom,” he drawled, “meddling already?”
The older woman straightened. “We were just talking.”
Matt gave his mother a chastising look. “Well, now you can stop because Lulu is about ready to start serving the entrées.”
Matt turned to Sara with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. “Lulu is dying to have you try her honey chipotle chicken wings and honey barbecued ribs...so if you’re game...”
“I am.”
Luckily, there were no more questions about her and Matt’s “romance” or lack thereof from anyone else in the McCabe family during the rest of the party.
When they went home, Matt took Champ out for a last outdoor break and some water, while Sara put an equally tuckered out Charley to bed.
When she came down, Champ was snoozing away in his crate, and Matt was standing in the kitchen, waiting to speak with her. “Sorry about my mom. She can’t seem to help herself.”
A mother herself now, Sara understood the fierce need to protect, so she waved off his concern. “It was fine.” Sara began to put some of the leftovers that had been sent home with her in the fridge.
Apparently for Matt, it hadn’t been. “What did she say?”
The real question was, what did Matt not want Rachel to reveal? Deciding this was an opportunity to satisfy her own curiosity, Sara shot him a commiserating look and said, “Your mom mentioned a military widow named Janelle.”
Matt’s stoic reaction did not change.
Swallowing, Sara continued, “She seemed to think there was some parallel between your relationship with Janelle, and your renewed friendship with me.”
“There isn’t.”
Silence fell and he offered nothing more.
Not willing to even consider being in a relationship where she was repeatedly shut out emotionally, Sara decided to let it—and consequently, him—go.
“Okay.”
Her heart aching, she pivoted away.
He put a hand on her shoulder. Waited until she made a half turn. “That’s it?” he demanded curtly. “Just...okay? No more questions?”
Sara drew a deep breath, unwilling to take all the blame for the new tension between them. “You don’t like questions,” she reminded him, reining in her emotions, too. Even as her skin heated at his gentle touch. “And I don’t like having to ask, so...” Deciding it was best they curtail this conversation, she started to show him the door.
He caught her hand. His gray-blue gaze was sober, intent.
“What do you want to know?”
Chapter Seven
Sara turned around. She’d had all evening to think about this, and she knew that if she and Matt were ever to get really close—as close as she wanted them to be—he was going to have to let down his guard a little. “Were you in love with her?”
He released a short, impatient breath. “I thought I was.”
She walked into the kitchen and took two cold sports drinks from the fridge. As she handed him one, their fingers brushed and a thrill swept through her. “Are you in love with her now?”
Twisting off the cap, he shook his head.
Surprised how much this meant to her, Sara tensed. “Are you sure?”
He took a long drink, then studied her over the rim of the bottle. The corners of his sensual lips curved up. “You’re not going to rest until you hear the whole sad story, are you?”
Why lie? She didn’t know why it mattered so much to her, she just knew that it did. Shrugging, she took a drink, too. “Probably not.”
&
nbsp; He took her by the hand and led her into the living room, settling on the middle of the sofa. Happy he was about to confide in her, she took the place beside him.
He squeezed her hand, letting their clasped palms rest on his thigh. “A year into my last deployment, one of my buddies was killed while out on a mission. I accompanied his body back to Virginia, where his wife and his family resided.”
Sara could only imagine how difficult that had been for him.
As Matt continued, his face became etched with grief. “I was a pallbearer. Everyone was as distraught as you might imagine, and after the service, at the gathering back at the house, his widow, Janelle, and I talked a lot. She wanted to know a lot about her husband’s last days. If I thought Dirk had been happy and I told her—honestly—that she had meant the world to him.”
Matt swallowed and his voice grew hoarse. “When I got back to my unit, I got all the guys to make a video, recounting some of their best memories of Dirk, and I sent it to her and his family.
“They were really happy to have it. Janelle wrote and thanked us. One email led to another.” He shrugged. “And pretty soon we were talking regularly. Six months later, when I had a few weeks leave, she met up with me in Italy.” He cleared his throat as an indecipherable emotion crossed his face. “And we went from being friends to something more.”
“You were serious about her,” Sara guessed. They were sitting so close she could feel the heat emanating from his powerful body.
“Very.” Matt’s expression turned brooding. “Anyway, one thing led to another, and before we knew it, we were talking about being together when I left the service.
“At first,” he admitted, a mixture of regret and self-admonition filling his tone, “the plan was that I would move to Arlington, get a job there when my tour ended. So we could really date.” He exhaled. “Then, she decided that even though we’d only been in a relationship a few months, it was silly to pretend we weren’t going to end up together.”
Talk about jumping ahead! Sara thought in surprise. “And you were good with that,” she surmised.
“Initially, yeah.” Matt nodded curtly, remembering, clearly as caught off guard then as she was now. He shifted toward her, a soul-deep weariness in his eyes. Compassionately, he related, “Janelle was big on advance planning. And I gave her that because I know sometimes when you’re dealing with a loss, you just need something in the future to hold on to, in order to keep going.”
“Something to give you hope,” Sara said softly. That you can actually control.
Matt squeezed her hand, as if glad she understood. “Right. Anyway, Janelle wanted us to share a home together when I did get out of the service, but not the one that she had lived in with Dirk, so she put her house on the market, and sold it, and started looking at high-rise condominiums.”
“While you were still on active duty overseas?”
“Yes.”
Maybe it was Matt’s rugged physicality, but Sara couldn’t picture him residing happily in the city, any more than she could see him ever sitting at a desk all day. He wasn’t really a suit and tie kind of guy. Casually, she asked, “Were you interested in living in a skyscraper?”
“No. And, in fact, I didn’t want her to buy anything in Virginia with me in mind because I had already purchased the Silver Creek here, and knew that ultimately I wanted to live in Laramie County. She didn’t even want to visit Texas. So we started arguing.”
“Over email,” Sara guessed.
“And via Skype.”
“That doesn’t sound fun.”
“It wasn’t.” Matt sighed. “Anyway, I tried to put myself in her place.”
That sounded like the gallant man she knew.
“I attributed her need to be near her own family and sort of control everything about our future relationship to the sudden, unexpected way she had lost Dirk. So I finally relented and said we’d live wherever she chose, at least for the first few years. Work obligations would likely dictate it after that. I’d keep my ranch—as an investment and a retreat.”
“Sounds fair.” Sort of...
“And in return, she agreed not to actually purchase anything until we could look at properties together.”
“Sounds practical.”
He nodded. “When I got out, I went straight to Virginia, instead of Texas, to see her. I just intended to stay a couple weeks. Then I figured we’d travel to Texas to see my family. I wanted her to meet everyone...”
Also reasonable, Sara thought.
“...and at least see the Silver Creek before returning to Virginia to look for work, but that wasn’t in her plans. She said there was no time for us to go to Texas to see my family. She’d already set up properties for us to look at, and appointments for me with job recruiters who specialized in placing ex-military in the Washington, DC, area.”
That, Sara thought, was incredibly, ridiculously presumptuous. She tried to put together everything she already knew about him. “And this was after your base was attacked and Mutt died.” And he had probably needed his family more than ever, even if he hadn’t told them what had happened.
“Not too long after, yes.”
“And Janelle knew that?” Knew you were still reeling?
Again, a terse nod. “We didn’t talk a lot about the attack on the compound because of what she’d already been through, losing Dirk and all, but yeah, she had all the details my family didn’t.”
Which meant they’d been close. “And she still didn’t cut you any slack?”
“I didn’t expect her to,” Matt said gruffly.
But his ex should have been understanding and sympathetic, Sara thought resentfully. She should have wanted Matt to spend time with the rest of the McCabes. She should have wanted to meet them, too. “So what happened next?”
He stood and walked over to the fireplace. “We did what we always did when a conflict arose—we argued. More bitterly than ever. I told her there was no way I was going to work in an office, or be security somewhere. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do at that point, but I did know that I wanted to be outdoors, and that I was perfectly capable of finding my own employment without her help.”
Sara joined him at the mantel. “I’m guessing that did not go over well?”
He turned to face her. “Janelle was furious. She said if I wanted to be with her, I was going to have to honor all her demands.” Matt shook his head in irritation. “I’d had enough of all the conditions. So we broke up and I came back to Texas.”
Sara took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry.” It sounded like he had been through hell.
“I’m not.” His gaze narrowed. “All that made me realize that an emotional connection and physical chemistry aren’t sufficient for any couple.”
She breathed in the masculine fragrance of his skin and gazed up at him. “What do you need to be happy?”
He flashed her a roguish grin. “The kind of easy, satisfying relationship all my siblings seem to be getting, the kind my parents have.”
Finding his low, husky voice a little too enticing for comfort, she returned, “That’s a tall order, cowboy.” But an oh-so-delectable one.
He wrapped an arm about her waist and reeled her in to his side, his mouth hovering over hers. “Maybe,” he told her huskily, “not as tall as you think.”
Sara had been telling herself she’d been exaggerating the impact of their previous kisses.
The practical side of her only wished that was the case!
The moment his lips were on hers, drawing her in, she was as lost in him as ever before.
Sara knew they should slow things down. Get to know each other again a whole lot better before attempting any kind of physical intimacy.
And while that made sense on a purely intellectual level, emotionally she needed him to put the moves on her. Make her feel all woman to his m
an. Sexy, vibrant and alive.
For months and months now, she had been living in a dark lonely place, her only joys her infant son and the animals she cared for.
Matt made her feel as if she could have more.
Maybe not forever.
Maybe not in any truly meaningful or long lasting way.
But she could have pleasure, she discovered, as his hands slipped beneath the hem of her shirt, caressing her back and better molding her against his hard, muscular planes.
She went up on tiptoe, wreathing her arms about his shoulders, even as he clasped her closer. And still he kissed her, deeply, irrevocably, his lips seducing hers apart and his tongue tangling with hers. She felt the pounding of his heart, the depth of his desire. She tasted the essence that was him.
And still she wanted him.
Wanted this.
Matt hadn’t intended to let them get any closer than they already were. Hadn’t planned to take her in his arms and kiss her again, because it would add a whole host of complications to an already tenuous situation.
She was vulnerable.
So was he.
In different ways, to be sure, but the bottom line was he was not what she needed. And, despite the passion flowing between them, he did not want to take advantage.
But remaining emotionally aloof around her was proving to be a futile task when she melted against him, kissing him back, again and again and again. The blood thundered through him and he reveled in the soft surrender of her body pressed against his.
With a groan, he tore his mouth from hers. Breathing raggedly, he closed his eyes. “If I don’t leave now...”
“I know.” She kissed his throat.
With another groan, he looked down at her. “Sara...”
She unbuttoned his shirt. “I want you to stay, Matt.” Her gaze zeroed on his. She lifted her chin, challenging him to dare to try and chastise her for choosing to live her life anyway she chose. She pressed another kiss on his collarbone, shoulder, jaw. “I want to make love.”
He emitted another lust-filled sigh.
Then seeing the raw need, and the fierce determination in her eyes, decided, why fight it?
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