by Celeste Raye
“How are you here, Audra?”
Audra didn't know what to say. Her lips were pressed to speak, but nothing came out. She had no excuses. At this point, Audra had no idea what she was supposed to do. She had never seriously considered what would happen if she saw Neil again. It hadn’t seemed like a credible issue.
Chapter Eighteen
Life was different after Audra left. Neil had finally concluded that she had left him. As much as he didn't want to believe it, he knew that it was true. She had taken off while he was gone, after she had pressured him to leave. He had felt like there was something off about her, but Neil hadn’t wanted to believe it. He hadn't wanted to believe that the woman he’d fallen for was capable of leaving him as she had.
It took him a while to realize that's what it was. For the first time in his life, Neil had fallen in love, and it had ended with complete chaos. He should have known better. As much as he tried not to let it get the better of him, it was impossible. All he could think about was how she was gone.
Sam seemed to take her departure even worse than Neil did. He had never gone that long without hearing from her. It had been almost a year since she had taken off. Her husband was still looking for her, and that was the only consolation that Neil got out of the whole thing. At least she was still safe. He wanted to believe that he would have been the one to keep her safe, but either way, Neil didn't want anything to happen to Audra.
He still loved her, even though she had betrayed him and left him. Neil felt like it was almost a waste of his one-and-only love. He had waited over a century to fall in love, and when he finally did, the woman left him. It seemed to make sense to him somehow.
The more that Neil thought about it, the harder it was for him to see the good in it. At the end of the day, he just kind of turned off. He didn't even want to have any sort of relationship with women. It all seemed like a waste of time. Pleasure didn't feel as good and was more of a chore than anything else. Neil blamed that on her too.
He swam in the pool one night and looked up at the stars. A part of him had always loved it out in the outskirts. There wasn't as much light pollution, so he was able to see the stars more clearly, but maybe it gave him too much time to think. Maybe he needed the noise and the extra lights of the city to tame his mind. All Neil knew for certain was that he needed to change. He couldn't sit there any longer and wait for her to come back. Audra was never going to come back.
That was how Neil came to realize that he needed to move on with his life. He told himself over and over again that he was never going to see her again.
That was one of the hardest things for Neil to do but had finally done it. He didn't think about her every single moment of every single day. He could breathe again, even when he heard her name or something like it. He stopped every time he saw a little woman that had about the same build as her.
Maybe he wasn't over her, but he was getting closer. It wouldn't be long at all.
When he finally decided that he had to do something, Neil had come up with the idea that he was going to go work with his brother. It had been a while since he had been at the club, but he knew that it was there for him. His brother lived a different kind of life. It had never been one that he was all that familiar with.
Neil bought into Frank’s club and decided to move to the city to get away from the house. It had too many memories of Audra, and the short time she was there. He didn't sell the place because one day he would rejoice in the nostalgia it would have, but at the moment, he didn't want to look at it anymore.
After settling in, Neil wanted to take stock of the club. He told his brother that he was going to be around sometime that day, but his plan was to take a look under the hood, as it were, first. He wasn’t just worried about the numbers in the book, but also how it was run by the employees. Employees that were human. Most of the people that came into the club were dragons, and Neil was concerned about the fact that Frank had several humans that worked there. Frank assured him that they didn't even know that the people were any different, but Neil had to wonder if that was true.
He went through the back door when he stopped in his tracks. He could see someone in front of him that he had imagined he would never see again. Neil actually rubbed his eyes once, just to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. It wasn’t a hallucination.
“What are you doing here?”
He had asked several times, but she hadn't answered.
“I work here. Let me guess; you're the new partner?”
Neil was a little sidetracked by the fact that Audra was standing in front of him, but he was also in wonder about how she knew so much. How did she know that he was a new partner? How did she know to come there? He was so confused, he shook his head several times. Obviously, he was dreaming, and he needed to wake up.
“Yes, Audra, I just bought in. Frank is my brother.”
“He did have something familiar about him that I rather liked. It would make sense that he's your brother.”
Immediately, Neil’s mind went to how close Audra and his brother were. His brother was married, but for some people that didn't seem to matter.”
“Is he here?”
“He went upstairs to his office. He always does in the morning. He will be down in a little bit if you just give him some time. Would you like a drink?”
“Where were you going?”
It was like she just realized that she was at the back door, trying to leave. Neil hadn’t moved to let her go, but she looked like a caged mouse. Neil didn't want to sidestep the issue. He wanted answers and was very aware of the two other people with him. They were here to help him do an assessment, but now he knew that he wanted some time alone.
“Why don't we go outside and get some fresh air, Audra?”
“My name is Lisa here.”
Neil nodded his head in agreement and told the other two, Dave and Carl, to go wait at the bar.
“I will be in there in a minute. Just take some notes and let me know what you think.”
The two stepped out the back door and the sun shone above them. He watched her, head back, moving just a little bit too slow. She brought him immediately back to the right, where they could sit outside and talk.
“Where the hell did you go?”
“Ben called. He had found me, and I had to leave.”
“So, you set my house on fire?”
“That was an accident. I was trying to make a diversion, because by the time I was ready to go, Ben had pulled up with a couple of his goons. I was stuck in the bedroom, so I burned my way out. I know it sounds stupid but I couldn’t think of anything else. I'm sorry about your house. Was there a lot of damage?”
Was there a lot of damage? He couldn't believe the audacity of her. He was far less worried about the damage to his house than he was the damage to his mind and his heart. They had been both so crushed when she left. It had all come crashing down on top of him. For the last year or so, Neil hadn't known what to think. All he knew for certain was that he didn't know what to do, because he had never planned for it. Neil practically had a plan for everything.
“Not too much. The house will survive.”
“I know it will. You're loaded, right?”
“You could say that.”
“Do you want me to show you around? I know that you are here to do an assessment before you start. Frank told me all about it.”
“How did you come to be here?”
Audra paused for a moment and then kind of shrugged her shoulders like she wasn’t sure.
“Well, I was on the run from Ben, and I came to the city. I could see it down below from the ridgeline, and it just felt like the thing to do. I found a hotel that I could stay in cheap for a week and then this place was within walking distance, more coincidence than anything else really. I would have never imagined seeing you here again. That is certainly a surprise.”
“Is it a good surprise, Audra?”
She didn't need to answer, as his heart dr
ew towards hers. He wanted to kiss her and hold her in his arms like everything was the same, but he knew better. The moment was gone almost as quickly as it came. Audra told him that she wasn't sure if it was a good surprise or not.
“I guess it depends on what happens next.”
Neil had a few ideas about that, but he didn't want to say them out loud. Some things were meant to be left inside.
“We will just have to see now, Audra.”
“It's Lisa here.”
“You can have them call you whatever you want, but that's who you'll always be to me. You will always be my Audra.”
“I don’t know how this is going to work, Neil. But I know that I am happy to see you, even if I am a little nervous.”
Chapter Nineteen
Frank came out to see his brother after a time, and Audra gave an excuse to go back to the bar. The last thing she wanted to do was spend another moment with Neil. He was already getting into her mind, and it hurt from all of the new events. Audra was ready for things to go back to normal. A few uneventful days would be nice after this one.
The two men were gone for a while, and she was able to think straight again. Audra still wasn't sure what she was going to do, but her first reflex was to run away again. It wasn't that she was afraid of Neil. Far from it. She felt safe when she was around him, but there was still a part of her that knew it wasn't enough. No matter how safe she felt when she was around Neil, she wasn't. Sam wasn't safe with her around either. It was best for all involved if she just stayed away. It hurt Audra to do so, but she felt it was the only answer
When Frank came back in, he was looking at Audra a little differently. Or that's what she thought anyway. He kept smiling at her, and she wanted to ask him not to say anything about the baby, but she knew that it would make it even worse. Then Neil would know that she was trying to keep it from him.
Neil came in after a while and Frank disappeared almost immediately. Audra had a feeling that was not just a coincidence, but she tried to ignore it. It could be worse. Neil could have been mad at her, and she could be without a job right now. The job at the Dynasty Club was the only thing that she had going right besides Jamie. Everything else was so screwed up. She couldn't lose either one of those things right now. Her sanity was tied to it.
“So, I hear good things about you, Audra.”
“Is that so?”
Neil agreed that it was. “Yeah. And my brother doesn't talk up anybody. Not unless he really likes them, so you must have done something to make him say that.”
“Maybe I just do a good job.”
He looked like he wasn't sure and Audra wondered what he was thinking. His eyes were dark.
“Maybe, Audra. Maybe.”
Audra could tell by the way he was saying it that he didn't believe it at all. There was distrust in his eyes, and she knew that it was because of how she left. She should have said something, and she'd had a year to do so but she hadn't. Audra just told herself that it was the only way to keep everyone safe. If they didn't know where she was, then nobody could make them tell.
“How is Sam?”
“Have you seriously not talked to him in the last year?”
Audra shook her head no.
“I didn't think that it would be a good idea. Ben would tap the phones. That's just how he is.”
“Yes, and are you still so afraid of him?”
“Yes.”
“Why? We would have kept you safe.”
“You were gone, and he was coming. What did you want me to do?”
“I wanted you to use the panic room like I told you to. He would not have been able to get you there.”
“I couldn't do it. I tried, but that place felt like a coffin.”
For some reason, that thought had not crossed his mind at all. While he had never had to use it before, it was in place to keep a certain amount of sanity in his mind. He would not have to worry about things coming after him because he could always just hide in there and no one would be able to get to him. It was hard for Neil to imagine that somebody could see the exact same thing and feel fear from it.
“I didn't know that.”
“I didn't know either. I went in there after you left, and I knew that I couldn't stay in there. Then Ben called, and he told me I had five minutes before he got there. It was less than three and they were all around the house. I had to do something, and that was the only thing I could think of. I know that I should have done things differently, but it was all I could think of at the time. I panicked.”
As much as Neil had been filled with anger for the last year, he was starting to see that it was misplaced. While he did believe that she could have done things differently and made it easier for everyone involved, at the same time, he could understand her fear. There'd been a time when Neil had feared things as well. It was mainly when he got involved in his family's nonsense. But he certainly remembered the feeling well.
“I am sorry, Audra. I didn't know. I thought that you just left, and I have probably cursed you a million times in the last year. You never called, and I didn't think you cared. Do you?”
Her shift was about over, and she had to get back home. What Neil wanted to talk about was not something easy that could be said so quickly. She wasn't ready to get into it with him. Not yet.
“I really need to go, Neil. I have a lot of things to do, and I need to get back to my house. Maybe we can talk tomorrow? Are you going to be here?”
Part of her wanted him to say yes, and another part of her wanted him to say no. And while Audra always liked to be around Neil, at the same time, she knew that some things would come out that she didn't want to if she did. Audra had never been a good liar, and it was even harder to lie to somebody that she had fallen for.
“Yeah, I will be here tomorrow, Audra. We have a lot to talk about. Are you sure you don't want to go out and have a drink tonight?”
“I really need to get home, Neil, but soon. We will do something like that soon.”
Audra practically ran out of the club, and she ignored the looks as she was walking away. The patrons seemed to be far too invested in her life, and Audra tried to avoid anything that was going to make her regret talking about it later. Far too many people were watching her, and she didn’t like it one bit. Neil was back in the picture, and he already had her feeling crazy again.
It wouldn't have been so bad, but Audra felt like everything was such a mess. Her life had crumbled into a shamble of what it used to be. Sometimes she felt like the luckiest person in the world, and other times she looked around and wondered how the hell she ended up where she was.
When she got home, she immediately relaxed when she saw Jamie. Her daughter had changed everything for Audra, and now she held on even tighter as the nanny left. Audra would do anything to save her daughter, even if that meant walking away from the only man she ever loved. That was how much Audra loved Jamie.
Chapter Twenty
“So, tell me what is going on with you and Lisa, brother. I don't think you have ever watched somebody so much in all the time that I have known you. And that's your whole life.”
“I met her about a year ago. Her name is not Lisa. You keep calling her that, because I promised that I wouldn't give her away, but her name is actually Audra. Her brother brought her to me because her husband was tracking her down. He was abusive and part of the mafia in a small town.”
“So, you two are close?”
Neil knew what Frank meant by that. He was asking if the two of them had had relations together. It was something that he should deny because he didn't want everybody to know about it, but at the same time, he wanted his brother to know that she was off limits. “Yes, at one time, we were.”
“And then what happened?”
“You sure have a lot of questions about her, Frank.”
“I have gotten to know Lisa and I am invested in what happens to her.”
“Are the two of you close, Frank?”
Frank shook his
head and smiled at the anger on his brother's face.
“No, but you should see your expression right now. I don't have to even ask you if you love the girl.”
“Then don't ask.”
Frank put his hands up like he was going to stop and then chuckled to himself. He had never seen his younger brother so uptight before, and he understood a lot of things. Then there was the fact that Audra just had a baby, and if Frank had to guess, he could imagine what dragon had knocked her up. He wanted to tell Neil very badly but he knew he had to keep it to himself for the moment.
“I have to. I just have to know what's going on here.”
“Not much to tell, Neil. She needed help, and she needed a job. After that, I mean, she got good at what she did, and now she works here full time. I think of her as a close friend. Do you think this is going to complicate things?”
“I don't see why it would.”
“And you are going to try and get her back, correct?”
Neil snorted. “Is it that obvious?”
Frank told him that it was. “It is undeniable that you're in love with her.”
“Now I just have to find out if she feels the same way.”
Frank wanted to say more, but he held his tongue. It really wasn't his place to say anything, but he wanted to. He really did. If he weren't so close to Lisa, he would have told his brother her secret. But he had loyalty to her and wanted to give her the chance to do it herself. He knew that that's how Lisa... Audra was.
“You should give her some time, Neil. I didn't know what had happened to her, but I do know that she has been through a lot.”
“I don't want to wait.”
“Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, Neil. You have to ask yourself if she is worth waiting for. I think you already know the answer to that.”
Neil didn't want to hear it, but it slowed him down in his thinking. He wanted to pick up where they left off before, but he should have known better. There had been too much time that had passed since they'd seen each other. Even though what he felt for her had not dwindled in the least bit, it wasn't clear if she felt the same way or not. While he wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay, he was starting to consider the option that maybe it wasn't.
