by Kate Stone
"Do you like it?" he asked. She turned to him and nodded, then grabbed him and kissed him. Now wasn't the time to talk about the McGowan stuff. Derek's hand slowly slid down her back as he kissed her gently, playing with her hair briefly before descending to her ass and then he broke the kiss, shaking his head. "Dinner," he said sternly, a playful smile on his face. "This is an official date night. We're going to do this right."
Meghan laughed. "Okay, okay. How can I say no to any of this?"
"You can't. It's all part of my evil plan."
"'The serial killer stalks his sister's best friend!'" exclaimed Meghan, pulling her shoes off and sitting down amidst the pillows. "That could be your next movie."
Derek laughed. "Let's focus on this one first." He went to the kitchen area and began to work. Her mind flashed to the same scene playing out a few days ago after her audition. Somehow it seemed like much longer ago, and she was reminded again how much of a whirlwind romance this had been. Now she understood what they meant when they said "head over heels".
They chatted while he worked, and thoughts of the McGowan situation drifted from Meghan's mind. Eventually he returned to her with two plates of pasta in hand.
"Penne alla vodka," he announced as he sat down.
The pasta smelled divine, and as Derek settled in beside her Meghan asked, "Did you make this from scratch?"
He laughed. "You don't believe me?"
"Well, can you blame me?" she teased. "After the pancakes and the instant ramen - which, by the way, isn't what I was picturing when you said you would cook - I have to admit I wasn't expecting much."
"I guess I'm lazy about it most of the time," he confessed as they dug in. "I can cook, when I have the motivation." He gave her a pointed look. "I wanted to make this special."
"Why?" she asked.
He smiled. "Because you are special. Because I’ve never felt like this about anyone else Ever. Because you deserve a romantic date."
She took his hand in hers and said, “Well then, what do people talk about on dates?"
"They ask each other weird questions," replied Derek. "Like, 'what's your favorite season?' and 'are you a morning person or a night owl?''
"Winter," she replied. "And morning person, easily."
"I figured, with how fast you got ready the other day."
"What about you?" asked Meghan.
"Fall," said Derek. "And night owl. I usually don't get to bed until around two or three."
"Well, you're kicking ass in the film program, so whatever your sleep schedule is, it must be working."
He chuckled. "Don't get too ahead of yourself. It's only my first semester."
She took another bite of pasta. "That's why we've got to make sure this is a good movie."
He took her chin and slowly turned her to look at him. "I wouldn't care if it was complete shit," he said, and she could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Reconnecting with you was worth it." He kissed her, and Meghan had to remind herself she was holding a plate so she didn't drop it. She contented herself with scooting closer to him, and soon felt his hand on her thigh.
They pulled apart, and Meghan smiled at him. "We haven't finished dinner yet."
"Dinner can wait," he said, taking their plates and setting them aside. Without another word they crashed into each other, falling back on the piled cushions as their bodies pressed together. She could feel that he was already hard, and tugged at his shirt as he began to kiss her neck.
Meghan was on the verge of insanity by the time Derek stopped kissing her, looking at her appreciatively for a moment. She reached for his belt buckle, but he stopped her with a hand over hers. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said, and moved lower, opening her jeans with ease and sliding them off. He tossed them and her panties to the side as he pressed his lips to her inner thigh. Meghan shivered in anticipation as his tongue darted out, brushing the sensitive skin there as he slowly parted her legs with his hands. With a flash of his green eyes, he lowered his head and set to work on her, opening her with his tongue before he began to lick her. She started to tremble, her fingers tangled in his hair as he pleasured her relentlessly. It had been a long time since someone had gone down on her, and she knew he would be quick to tease the orgasm out of her.
Sensing her enjoyment, Derek picked up his pace, his grip on her thighs tightening as he kept his face buried between her legs. Soon she was soaring again, and as she came, her legs clenched around either side of his face, the whole world seemed to go quiet for a moment.
Derek lifted his head as she collapsed backward, and she saw that he was panting. He brushed his hair out of his flushed face and moved back up Meghan's body. He kissed her and she tasted herself on him. "You killed me," she told him, laughing as he sat up next to her.
Derek smirked at her. "What can I say? I'm a talented guy. The thing is, though," he trailed off, his finger tracing around her nipple.
"What?"
"The thing is, if I killed you then that means the fun is over."
Now it was Meghan's turn to smirk. "I don't think you have to worry about that."
"You sure?" Derek asked.
Meghan nodded before she grabbed him and kissed him again, rolling him over onto one of the mattresses. "The fun is just getting started."
They lost track of time as they made love, and by the time they settled down in Derek's makeshift fort, completely spent, the sun had gone down outside. Their pasta had gotten cold, but they finished it anyway, laughing and chatting as they pulled blankets over them. Now they lay side by side, and Meghan stared up at the fairy lights, twisting her fingers together as the high from the sex wore off and the McGowan anxiety began to nag at her again.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Derek, his fingers brushing her face. “You seem preoccupied.”
“Something happened today,” she told him, biting her lip.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Let’s just say,” she began, “McGowan - theoretically - wanted to give me another chance in his class.”
“Huh?” Derek sat up. “What do you mean?”
“He asked to see me today,” Meghan explained. “He wants to give me a space in the advanced drama workshop. Can you believe it?”
“No,” said Derek, and she saw that his smile had faded. “No, I can’t. You said he made your life miserable. He hated you. You said he threatened to bury you! Why would he change his mind?”
“He was trying to push me,” she replied. “He believed in me from the start, Derek. He said all that nitpicking was because he was trying to make me great. He still wants to, if I let him.”
Derek snorted. “You can’t be serious. Are you actually considering going back to him?”
Meghan frowned. “Yeah, I am.”
“You put up with a semester of abuse from that prick and you’re going to let him pull you back in? What if he does the same thing again? Or what if it gets even worse?”
“Derek, I told you, Professor McGowan can get his students places. I need him, and if he’s willing to help me-”
“You don’t need him,” Derek exclaimed. “I’ve seen your acting, and others will, too. Meghan, you have to believe me. It’s not worth crawling back to that guy because you’re afraid to go it alone.”
She felt her face growing hot. The temper that had manifested during that infamous final was threatening to rear its ugly head again. She had been afraid he’d think she was wishy-washy, but it was starting to sound like he thought this made her weak. “Afraid?”
“Look, I know you feel like you don’t have a lot of options now,” said Derek, running a hand through his hair. “And I know that your own views on your acting maybe aren’t -”
“What?” she demanded. “Aren’t what?”
“You’re better than you think you are,” Derek told her adamantly. “I don’t want to see you have to kowtow to a person like that when you could make it on your own.”
“I appreciate
the thought,” Meghan said, not liking the iciness in her tone but unable to help it, “but that’s not how the world works.”
Derek shook his head, looking away. “Right. Thanks for being so condescending.”
She sighed. “I was hoping for a little support there.”
“I do support you. That’s why I’m telling you you’re too good for that guy.”
“That’s not what I mean, Derek,” she snapped.
“I don’t like being talked down to,” he replied, his brow furrowed.
“Well, I don’t like being called scared!”
“I didn’t call you scared! God, Meghan, why are you taking it that way?”
“Because that’s what it sounds like.” Meghan stood up. She couldn’t help it; it was like a different part of her had taken over. The same part that took over during that final, warned that voice in her head. You’d better watch out. She shook the thought away. “Acting is the most important thing in the world to me, Derek. And I have to do whatever it takes to make it a career. I don’t get to choose these opportunities. And if you don’t get that, then maybe,” her voice trailed off.
“Maybe what?” Derek asked quietly.
Meghan swallowed. “Maybe we should rethink this. Whatever this is.” She regretted the words almost as soon as they were out, but couldn’t bring herself to take them back.
Derek got to his feet slowly, his expression hurt. “Do you mean that, Meghan?” She looked away, but said nothing. Derek reached for her, but even the feel of his gentle hand on her arm wasn’t enough to pry the apology from her. What he had said did hurt. And the worst part was that she couldn’t put her finger on why. Maybe because somewhere deep down, she had been wondering if he would react like this. Maybe because somewhere deep down, she wondered if he had a point. And those questions made it all the worse.
She wanted to explain all this, resurrect their evening while she had the chance. But in the end, all that came out of her mouth was, “I think I may go back to my dorm.”
Derek didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Maybe that’s for the best,” he said.
Feeling like she was moving underwater, Meghan reached into her bag and pulled out the first thing she grabbed – her pajamas, brought just in case Greg came back to the room early. She put them on, saying nothing to Derek.. She paused with her hand on the door knob and looked over her shoulder at Derek. He had begun to listlessly collect the cushions from where they were piled on the mattresses. Her discarded clothes were still off to the side, but she couldn’t bring herself to go back and get them. She would go downstairs in her pajamas, lest she find herself dragged back to this sweet, funny, green-eyed enigma that had swept her off her feet.
Without another word, she left Derek’s room, closing the door behind her.
Chapter 10
Meghan partnered with James for their first workshop in McGowan’s class. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t been nervous to be back there with him, but had been pleasantly surprised by the lack of judgement from her classmates. Knowing what she now knew of McGowan’s teaching style, she started to notice the nitpicking he was doing to all his students. He didn’t seem at all fazed to have her back in his class, and she had to remind herself not to expect special treatment from the man.
James was another story, and she could feel him watching her all throughout the class. When the time came to select partners for the final exercise of the day, he had immediately approached her. She was still reeling from her argument with Derek, but she hadn’t forgotten his offer to rekindle their romance. As if things weren’t already confusing enough.
“Are you okay, Meghan?”
She jumped, and realized that James was staring her. “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”
“So then, do you want to work together for this one?”
She smiled, and it was genuine. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
James grinned. “Let’s go into the hall to practice, yeah? Looks like it’s getting crowded in here.”
Observing the throng of drama students already spreading out in the studio, Meghan nodded.
They both had their hands in their pockets as they exited the studio and moved down the hallway, looking for a place out of the way of traffic. James pointed to a reading nook off to the side with a bench in the middle, and Meghan nodded. They took a seat. “Thanks for partnering up with me,” Meghan told him. “I appreciate it. It’s a bit awkward coming in after the semester’s started already.”
“I get that,” said James. “But how are you liking the class? Is McGowan being okay to you?”
Meghan nodded. “I mean, he’s McGowan, so no.” They both laughed at that, and their eyes met for a moment. “But yeah. It’s good so far. Even if it is only my first day.” There was a moment of silence. “Thank you again, James,” she added. “You didn’t have to do all this for me.”
“Yes, I did,” said James, and she looked at him. That look he’d had during their read-through was back on his face, stronger than ever. “You know I did.”
She had a million things bubbling up in her throat, but she couldn’t manage a word. James had scooted closer to her on the bench, and she realized that his hand was resting on her knee. She could have moved it, like she could have moved away when James leaned towards her, but she didn’t, because she didn’t want to. And when his lips touched hers, his hand moving up to her cheek, she opened her mouth and kissed him back. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this. But the feeling of James’ touch was overriding the confusion she felt, the unsettled sensation in her heart ever since her argument with Derek, and so it was okay. Meghan tangled her hands in his dark hair, remembering the feeling of Derek’s golden locks in her hands. Derek. It always came back to Derek.
The sound of a throat clearing made them jump apart. Meghan’s insides turned to ice when she looked up to see Professor McGowan standing at the end of the wall, arms crossed as he looked at them. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked.
“I’m sorry,” James stammered, looking away from Meghan, “we were just -“
“Oh, don’t worry. I saw.” McGowan’s expression didn’t change, and Meghan wanted to sink into the floor.
“Professor, please,” said James, “let me explain.”
“Yes, please do, Mr. Ridley,” said McGowan. “My office. Now.” He barely glanced at Meghan as James got to his feet and followed McGowan around the corner, and she wondered why he hadn’t summoned her as well. The hallway seemed too quiet, and she felt like crying. You blew it this time, she thought. And what the hell was that kiss with James? Some pathetic rebound after Derek?
Making out with another student when they were supposed to be running a scene wouldn’t have looked good to any teacher, but this might as well have been a death sentence. So much for second chances. James was probably getting yelled at right now, and soon it would be her turn. She could see it already: she was the first student to have crossed McGowan not once, but twice. Whatever chances she’d had as a future actor were going down the drain this very moment.
Meghan stood up and walked toward the professor’s office. Whatever was coming, it wouldn’t be pretty. Might as well face it now. She was almost to McGowan’s office when she heard the sound of raised voices and stopped in her tracks.
“...not to make this more complicated than it had to be.” She recognized McGowan’s voice.
“I think you’re overreacting, Professor.” James, now. “I was just-”
“I never told you to kiss her during class, Mr. Ridley.”
“Professor-”
“All you had to do was tell her you were going to ask me to take her back.” Meghan’s eyes widened.
“And I did!”
“None of that meant getting involved with her.”
“We were involved before, Professor. So what if we get involved again?” His voice had risen slightly. Meghan’s heart was pounding in her chest, her mind a blur.
“It’s. Not. Professional.” She had n
ever heard McGowan sound this pissed off.
James snorted, the sound muffled behind the door. “Right, and having me lie to her to make her feel like the desperate one is so professional.”
“Watch who you call desperate, Mr. Ridley.”
“Oh, please.” There was a strange combination of embarrassment and insubordination in James’ voice. If she hadn’t done the same thing before, she wouldn’t have been able to imagine anyone talking to him this way. “You wanted her back but your ego got in the way. And now that I did exactly what you asked, you’re giving me shit for it.”
“Mr. Ridley-”
“Maybe I should tell her this whole thing was a ploy,” James interrupted. “How would your next big star take that, Professor?”
Meghan shoved the door open and faced the two men. They were standing up, McGowan with his hands on his desk and James with his shoulders squared. “Not well,” she said after a moment. “I don’t think she would take it very well at all.”
For a moment they stared at her blankly, and then McGowan cleared his throat. “Meghan,” he said, “can I help you?”
James spoke up then, too: “We were just -“
“Just talking about how you played me,” Meghan finished for him, taking a step towards the professor. “You always wanted me back. You knew you made a mistake at that final, right? And so you told him to play with my feelings and make me come crawling back to you because you can’t stand to admit that I’m good.”
“Meghan-”
“You always liked my acting. You wanted me back. I was good before, and I was good after. Your class had nothing to do with it.” She heard herself say the words, and even as they came out they seemed unreal. It felt almost as if she was watching this whole scene unfold from the outside.
Your class had nothing to do with it.
Derek was right.
“Meghan, that is absolutely untrue.”
“I heard you,” she hissed at him, and then rounded on James. “You really are a great actor, do you know that? You certainly had me going for a minute there.”
“It’s not like that,” James protested. “I do still have feelings for you, Meghan, but you have to understand - I need his help!”
