by T. L Smith
No, we fucking can’t.
As I push his hand away under the table, Kat starts speaking, “So, you like my sister?”
“Yes,” he says, as she looks to me as if to say ‘thank you.’
“But why do you like her?”
Marcus’ hand goes to my thigh again. “Why is the sky blue?” he answers, and Kat smiles, then nods.
Annabelle starts crying in her highchair and Kat grabs her. She sees me and tries to leave her mother’s arms to get to me. Kat giggles as Annabelle reaches for Marcus because he’s in the middle, and I watch as he freezes. His hand leaves my thigh, and he takes her as if she’s fire, carefully holding her away from his body and passing her to me as quickly as he can. She claps my cheeks when I have hold of her, then I turn her around and sit her on my lap.
Protection from his wandering hand.
“Annabelle loves Rochelle. Do you want kids one day?” Kat asks him.
All eyes go to Marcus while we wait for him to answer.
He looks at me when he answers, “I never really thought about kids. My childhood wasn’t great, and it was certainly one where kids should never have been raised in.”
“Oh, hunny.” My mother’s hand goes to her heart.
I look at him and see his eyes are on Annabelle and me. It’s like he’s trying to work something else out in his mind while I sit here shocked that I just learned something about him that I didn’t know.
“I’m sorry you were brought up that way. You must have some cake.”
I look back at my mother. How she manages a conversation is beyond me. Cake? Really? Marcus only smirks at her words, and, thankfully, my sister changes the subject direction.
Dinner goes smoothly. Annabelle climbs back over to Kat halfway through, making Marcus go tight and causing me to laugh. His hand stays on his own lap, and he answers questions that are thrown at him. All the questions are very basic, asking him if he’s from here and if he has any family. He tells them it’s just him and his brother.
I know about Blaze, but I also didn’t know that’s the only family he has left.
When we leave, my mother grabs me and whispers in my ear, “I like him. He looks at you like you’re special.”
I scoff at her words and don’t say anything.
“Goodnight, Marcus. Please get my daughter home safely,” my father says, shaking his hand as they leave.
When I turn to face him, he’s already watching me.
Marcus has his hands in his pockets, standing tall and refined. There’s a smile on his lips.
“They like me,” he boasts, and it’s as if he can’t believe it. “No one likes me,” he says as if I needed to know that.
“I like you,” I say.
Marcus slides his hands from his pockets and steps to me, touching my hip. “You like the idea of me, but not the real me?”
“And what’s the idea of you?” I argue back, leaning into his touch. Why, I don’t even know. I should be angry, but I can’t be because it’s my fault too. If I wanted to reach out to him, I could have. I was the one who chose not to.
“The one where you don’t really like what I do. The one where I am normal. I’m not normal, though. My demons are huge and my pain is worse.” His hazel eyes lock onto my blue ones.
“That’s the most you have ever shared with me.”
“I don’t like sharing,” he says, pressing closer to me, so our bodies are now touching. “Come back to mine,” he asks, almost pleading.
“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head.
I can, but it’s not the smartest thing to do right now.
“Come back to mine,” he asks again, more demanding this time. Leaning down, he kisses my neck and trails to my ear. “Come back to mine,” he says again. This time it’s whispered and breathy.
I’m as helpless as the girl who went down that rabbit hole.
As crazy as that cat that talks in riddles.
And as lucid as the red queen.
I look up at him. “Okay.” The word leaves my mouth before I can stop it, and he smirks before his lips drop to touch mine tenderly.
Damn it all to hell. My resistance didn’t last long. All it took was a touch and a few words, and I’m literally about to climb back in his bed.
“Why did you tell my mother you’re my boyfriend?” I ask as he touches me.
“I wanted to see how it sounded on my lips.” He kisses my lips again.
“And how did it sound?” I ask between touches and soft kisses that make me lose my train of thought.
“I’ll let you know.”
Chapter Nineteen
Rochelle
Marcus doesn’t stop at my house to get my things before heading to his place. When we arrive, I see a light out front.
“Fuck,” Marcus curses, then comes to a stop. It’s then that I see it’s Blaze leaning against his bike with his light on. When we get closer, he turns it off, kicks off his bike, and walks toward us.
Marcus turns to me. “Just wait in the car.”
Words fail me as Marcus gets out. The light comes on in the truck and Blaze looks at me, his eyes narrowing as he walks over to Marcus.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” he asks.
Marcus’ window is down slightly, so I can hear what they’re saying.
“You don’t get to tell me who the fuck I can bring to my house. Now, what the fuck do you want?”
Blaze’s angry eyes turn to me. “Your friend is back on the drugs. Did you even know that?”
What the fuck!
I open the door and walk around to him. “I saw her yesterday. She’s fine,” I say defensively.
He scoffs. “No, she isn’t. But it’s sweet of you to think so.” His lips turn up into a sinister smile.
“She’s been good,” I say back to him, clearly confused. I know she has. I’ve made a point of going to see her as often as possible. Tanika even said she was coming around tomorrow.
“She avoided me until she no longer could. The boys said she came over last night to get high.” My hand covers my mouth. “Of course, they said no and kicked her out.”
“Well, she isn’t high, then.”
“There are other places to get drugs, good girl.”
Ignoring his words, I call her. Tanika answers straight away. Her voice sounds happy as she answers. I look back to Blaze, wondering if I should believe him or not.
But why would he lie about this?
“Tan.”
“Yeah, babe.”
“I have to ask you something.”
“Umm…” She laughs. “Okay.”
“Are you using again?”
Silence greets me, and my heart drops so hard in my chest I wonder if it will ever come back up to beat again.
“I tried. I was going to. But I didn’t. I promise.” Tanika starts crying into the phone, and I feel bad, but I’m so happy she’s told me the truth, and even happier that she refrained.
“I’m going to her,” Blaze says, walking away and getting on his bike.
“I can come to you. Or Blaze is.” She doesn’t speak. “Tan?”
“Blaze. Sorry, Rochelle, but I can’t take your stare right now. I know you don’t judge, but I still feel as if I judge myself when you are around. Blaze doesn’t judge…” she pauses before she speaks again in a smaller voice. “I tried to be good, I swear.”
“You’re doing great. Blaze just left.” His bike is loud as he pulls away. “Stay put until he gets to you, okay? Do you want to stay on the phone with me until Blaze gets there?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so how was your day?”
Her breathing becomes more even, and I can still hear the faint cry as she speaks, “No, tell me about yours, and why you are anywhere near Blaze.” I turn to Marcus, who’s on his cell. My eyes scan him from head to toe in appreciation, my heart beats fast as I admire him. He looks up, spots me, and winks before he goes back to his call.
My heart takes on a life of its own.<
br />
“I’m going to fuck Marcus tonight,” I blurt it out.
Hazel eyes look back to me, mischief playing in them as he slides his cell back in his pocket and walks toward me.
“Oh my God, is he there?”
“Yep, right in front of me,” I say as he leans forward and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes as his lips leave my skin and he walks around behind me.
“Okay, that’s hot. I thought you hadn’t spoken or seen him in ages?”
“I hadn’t,” I say, as I feel the ribbon belt of my dress come undone. Then he unzips the zipper over my ass and touches my bare ass when he sees I’m not wearing any panties.
“Blaze seemed happy that you weren’t seeing him. I don’t think he likes you all that much,” Tan speaks. Her voice is sounding calmer. I look out to the night sky. No other lights are around us, and the only light we have is from the moon and my cell, which is glued to my ear, as he lives out in the middle of nowhere.
“I don’t care what he thinks.”
Tanika chuckles at my breathless words. “I know that as well.”
Hands touch me and move around, circling my belly as the dress pools at my feet. Thank God it’s strapless. I’m too afraid to move right now as I stand naked while the hands from this man are teasing me.
“I can hear his bike. Fuck. He’s going to hate me.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Marcus says. Taking the cell from me, he stands behind me, one hand wrapped around my mid-section sneaking down to my bare pussy to touch my clit as he begins to speak. “He doesn’t hate you. If he did, he wouldn’t be there,” he says, then hands the cell back to me, and in a whisper to me only he says, “Hurry up.”
“Call me if you need me?” I tell her.
“Yeah, I will. And Roch?”
“Yeah.” My breath comes out in bursts as he slips a finger in, his lips touching my neck.
“Thanks for asking and not just assuming.”
“Of course.” My eyes squeeze shut. “I love you,” I say to her, but its Marcus’ hand that freezes. My eyes pop back open, and his mouth pauses on my neck. “Have to go,” I say back to her, hanging up the phone. “Marcus,” I say, reaching for his hand to pull away, so I can turn to face him. He doesn’t allow me, just starts moving again.
“Mmmm…”
“Why did you freeze just then?” I know why, but I want to hear him say it. I need to hear him say it.
“Let’s not talk.”
“Does that word scare you, Marcus? If I loved you, would that scare you?”
“It’s just a word, it holds no meaning.” Then he pushes in me harder, his mouth now sucking on my neck, his thumb circling my clit, and soon he’s fucking me with his fingers. I arch and bend to give him every angle, my hand goes back and threads through his hair to keep me steady as he touches me, and soon I’m moving up and down to the beat of his fingers, wondering how I went so long without this. Without him.
He’s so much better in real life than my dreams.
So much better.
I come all around his fingers, my body slumping back into him. He takes my weight and wraps both arms around my torso, holding me up.
“It holds great meaning,” I say, once I get my words and thoughts back.
His grip becomes tighter at my words. “If you say so.”
“I do.” I won’t back down from this.
He may know death, but I know life.
Maybe he needs to start living in the world a bit more.
“I didn’t bring you here to talk about love, pretty girl. I brought you here to fuck you.”
“Well, fuck me, then, pretty boy.” I push off him and turn with my hand on my naked hip, the only thing I have on are my heels. He takes a menacing step toward me. His hands go to my hips, and he throws me over his shoulder as he turns and heads toward the house.
“My dress.”
“You won’t need that.” He slaps my ass, making me giggle.
Marcus takes his steps fast as he goes to his bedroom. When we get there, he throws me on the bed and kicks off his boots one at a time, then reaches for his belt. When he pulls his shirt off, I sit up.
“What’re the marks from?” I ask, not expecting an answer. But for some reason he starts to share.
“My mother used to let her boyfriends cut me or burn me for their entertainment.”
My eyes go wide at his truths. “Oh my God.”
“It was either I take it all, or I let them do it to Blaze.” His clothes are fully removed, and he’s standing there in all his naked glory.
“You love him.”
“There you go with that word again.” Marcus pushes me back and hovers over me. “If that is what you call love, then yes. But I will never repeat that. Think of that as the last bit of information you will get from me tonight. Now lay back and let me fuck you.”
I do as he says while he kisses me, and when he does, I feel him hard and hot between my legs.
My hands go up to his hair and I pull, wrapping my legs around his waist, wanting him to just go in, but he doesn’t. Instead, he slides up and down, rubbing my clit and taking this humping experience to an all-new level for me. I’ve dry humped but never naked. And I like it, but what I would like even more is him inside of me. Now.
“Marcus…” I moan, moving my hips farther down to feel him.
He stops as he reaches my entrance. His eyes fly open, and he looks at me. “Yes, pretty girl.”
“If you aren’t careful, I may fall for you.”
His eyes shine, and I wonder exactly what he’s thinking. “That would be a mistake.” Then he pushes into me. I feel that it may be too late for that. That the mistake has been made and I’m falling. Falling from a cliff for a man I shouldn’t be falling for, but I can’t stop. And I’m afraid no one will be at the bottom to catch me.
I’ll have to catch myself.
“Yes, I believe it would be,” I murmur to him. I think he hears, but he doesn’t respond. Simply pushes in harder and faster until we’re both screaming and soon, very soon, we both fall.
“Will you stop,” I complain, hitting him away as I wake up. We had sex two more times before I finally passed out, and now his cock is nudging my ass.
“I tried. It lasted...” he pauses, and I turn to see him looking at his watch, “… five hours.”
Fuck, I’ve only had five hours of sleep.
“Happy birthday, birthday girl.” He trails kisses all over me.
“Another year older,” I mumble.
“Another year sexier,” he says between kisses.
A doorbell rings, and he groans.
Getting up, he reaches for his pants, and I watch as he slides them on, looking back at me. He stares for the longest time, and then reaches down to kiss my lips. “Stay where you are, I’ll be back.” Marcus takes off, and while he’s gone, I think about his words for a while. But soon realize I need to pee, so I quickly run to the bathroom, then climb back into bed just before he comes back in. When he does, he’s holding a large box with a bag of food. I sit up.
“You’re feeding me?” I ask, smiling.
He grins at my clapping and places the bag of food on the bed in front of me. I open it to find pancakes and hash browns, as well as many other things.
“I’m so hungry.” I take a bite of a dry pancake, making him chuckle.
“Worked up an appetite, I see.”
I nod. “You wouldn’t let me sleep,” I say between bites.
“I did for five hours.” Marcus moves the food bag and drops another on my lap. It’s big. I look up at him in question.
“Open it. I arranged it last night. One of my former customers works there.” I tear open the box, and the familiar G that greets me when I see the box causes me to squeal. Tearing it open more, I reveal the perfect little black bag.
“This is way too much. I can’t accept,” I say while eyeing it, knowing I will never let it go. I’ve always wanted one, but it’s so much money.
“
It’s yours. Accept it. I can’t return it, and I don’t look good in black,” he jokes. My lips turn up into a full-on smile.
“You do look good in black. Sinful, actually. But this…” I say, looking back down at the gorgeous bag, “… this is huge. I can’t let you waste your money on this for me.”
“I have a lot of money, pretty girl. Death pays extremely well.”
“So it seems,” I say, putting it down to the side.
I reach for him, bringing him closer to me. “So, what are we?”
“We are whatever you want us to be,” he says, then kisses my lips.
“You aren’t going to sleep with anyone else?” I ask him.
“No.”
“And I won’t either, of course.”
“Okay.”
“You’re fine with this?” I ask him to double-check.
Marcus brushes my hair back. “Yes.”
“Perfect. Now hurry up and fuck me before I have to leave.”
He pulls the blankets back. “Your wish is my command, pretty girl.”
And he does just that.
Best birthday ever.
Chapter Twenty
Marcus
“You what?” Blaze asks, shaking his head. “You want her? Really?” he asks as if he can’t believe it.
“I do. Now shut the fuck up and tell me what you need.”
Snow carries a body inside while I wait for Blaze to speak.
“I can’t believe the man you’re turning into. You don’t fixate on a woman like this. What’s wrong with you?”
“Last nerve, Blaze. Last fucking nerve,” I say, shaking my head. “Now, tell me what you need.”
“Fingerprints, that’s it.”
“Dispose of the rest?” Blaze nods as Snow steps out. As he passes, he slaps me on the back. “Heard you went back to that fine piece of ass. Smart choice, man. She is mighty fine.” I shrug him off and walk inside.
The body is already on the steel table. Walking over to the iPod, I crank the music loud, zoning out as I start cutting. I don’t need to cut the body to dispose of it. I have the cremator for that. Which usually has to have the body burn twice to turn the bones into ash, because sometimes the first go isn’t enough. When I first started, we had to crush the bones. Now it’s a lot easier and cleaner. But sometimes, just sometimes, I like to play with a body. Particularly the ones Blaze sends my way. Which doesn’t happen all that often. But when they do, I zone out like I’m doing right now.
