by River Ramsey
“Six weeks!” I snap. “You’ve been gone for six weeks, and the way you disappeared… do you have any idea how that made me feel?”
“I know.”
“Bullshit, you know!”
He grabs me and pulls me into his arms for a kiss that makes me freeze. I should smack him in the face, but I find myself returning it. I do dig my hands into his hair and pull a bit too hard for good measure, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He just pulls me closer and kisses me until we’re both breathless.
“What was that for?” I ask, dazed as he finally pulls away.
“Six weeks,” he murmurs.
“Where were you?”
This time, he actually gives me an answer. “I was with my coven.”
“Your coven?” I cry, lowering my voice when I realize there’s a high risk of us being overheard. “Don’t tell me you went back there.”
“I didn’t have a choice. They’re helping me.”
“Helping you with what?”
“Helping me control it,” he answers, looking away.
“Why do you need to control anything?” I ask. “Why can’t you just stop?”
“It’s not that simple. I thought it was, and then…” He trails off and swallows hard. I can tell from the guilt in his eyes that he’s thinking of what he did before the first time he ran off. I’ve never been compelled like that before and I never want to experience it again. Especially not from him.
“I know you didn’t do it on purpose,” I say carefully. “But why did it happen?”
“I lost control,” he says, his voice filled with shame. “That’s how I knew I had to leave. Before I could hurt you.”
“Christopher, you would never hurt me.”
“I can’t take that risk,” he says firmly. His gaze softens as he touches my cheek and sweeps a strand of hair behind my ear. “Especially not now.”
“And here I thought you ran because I’m pregnant.”
“I did,” he admits. “But not for the reason you think.” When he realizes I don’t get it, he continues, “If there’s even a chance this kid is mine, it could be dangerous to you, Danica. Hell, if it’s James’, it could be the same thing.”
I suppress a groan. Not another one. “The doctor says I’m fine and there’s no reason to think I won’t be.”
“The doctor thinks the baby is Rowan’s.”
He has a point. Even though I’m part mage, mating with a full shifter wouldn’t be high-risk. A vampire hybrid, on the other hand… “That’s all the more reason I need you here, not out there.”
“I know,” he says gently. “I’m going to come back as soon as I can. As soon as it’s safe for you. I just need a little more time.”
“How long?” I demand.
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not good enough. I need an answer.”
He sighs. “Before the baby’s born. Is that good enough?”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Then it’ll have to be,” I mutter, hesitating. “There’s one more thing.”
“What is it?”
“It’s not just one baby,” I admit. “It’s twins.”
Christopher’s eyes widen as he processes the news. I can’t say I blame him. That was pretty much my reaction, too. When he looks down at my stomach and reaches out, I can tell he’s hesitant. I take his hand and put it against my belly, stepping closer.
“I need you, Christopher. We need you.”
He kisses me and this time, it’s a tender, delicate moment that’s over much too soon. “Soon, Dani. You have my word.”
It’ll have to be enough for now. It always has been.
Four
“Princess Victoria,” Raoul says warmly—a tone I don’t believe is genuine for one second—as he takes my hand to kiss it. I knew I’d run into him since this is the first party I’ve been to since my return. Trauma isn’t enough of an excuse to get me out of these things forever, I guess.
I’ve gone from being a decoration in Marok pack gatherings to a decoration with a crown in Eternus ones, but the food is good, so I can’t really complain too much.
“Good to see you again, Lord Raoul,” I say with a forced smile. The man makes my skin crawl, but he’s part of the Pentarch, so I have to play nice. So Albien tells me.
“Looking lovely as ever this evening. And you’re glowing.”
I can tell it’s a backhanded remark about my pregnancy, which everyone in the room is pretending not to talk about, but at least it seems to have dulled his fascination with me. Then again, he was only ever interested because he wanted the prestige that comes with my hand.
“So, you must be quite relieved at the news. I’m sure it’s been hanging over your head for some time.”
I search my brain, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what he’s talking about. “I’m sorry, what has?”
“Aedan, of course,” he answers, as if it should be obvious.
I blink. Sure, Aedan has been a spectre looming over me for months, but Raoul isn’t exactly someone I want to have a heart-to-heart about it with. “And there’s been a new development? Have they found him?”
It seems impossible. Then again, the ancient vampire might as well be a god. He’s been around so long that he’s lost all humanity he might once have possessed.
Raoul gives me a disbelieving look that soon turns to pity, but it only lasts a second before it becomes glee. He knows something I don’t and he’s going to appreciate every moment of holding it over my head, it would seem. “Oh. Forgive me, I just assumed one of your... consorts would have mentioned it.”
I take a deep breath for patience. “They’ve both been quite busy. Perhaps you might enlighten me?”
“Of course,” he sneers. “Eternus is planning an invasion of Aedan’s territory.”
“When?”
“I couldn’t say the exact date even if I knew, but suffice it to say, before the next winter solstice,” he answers. “We won’t be leaving anything to chance this time.”
“No,” I murmur. “I’d imagine not.”
My head is spinning but I realize he’s still watching me suspiciously. “Is something wrong, Your Majesty? I’d assumed you would be pleased.”
“No,” I blurt out. “I mean… yes. I am. It’s just a surprise.”
“Well, I should go give my regards to the King. A pleasure, as always,” he says, bowing gallantly to me.
“Likewise.” It’s hardly the biggest lie I’ve told. I linger by the wall, trying to process what I’ve just heard. If they’re going after Aedan, that means war after all we’ve done to avoid it. War because of me and Albien.
Granted, I have no sympathy for the vampires, but what will become of the humans in their midst? My travels through the region only acquainted me with the reality that I led a far more sheltered life, even in Marok, than any humans kept for blood.
And then there’s Mace… He remains loyal to his master, and if Aedan is brought in, he’ll surely be tried and hanged for treason. At one point, that would have been a dream come true for me, but now…
Moreover, why would Rowan and James keep something like this from me? They’ve both made themselves indispensable to the army. I want to believe they would tell me something this big, but they’ve both been fretting so much ever since they learned I was pregnant, I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought keeping this from me was for my benefit.
They’re infuriating like that.
I spot Jenna guarding the door across the room and walk toward her, intent on giving answers from someone who’s sworn not to lie to me.
“Princess,” she says, clearly surprised by my approach. “Is everything alright?”
“I need to ask you something and I need the absolute truth,” I begin.
“Of course,” she says, frowning. “What is it, Your Majesty?”
“Is Eternus planning an invasion of Aedan’s territory?”
The blank look on he
r face is not only the answer I’ve been looking for, but confirmation that my not knowing is something of a conspiracy. They didn’t just forget to tell me. They were keeping it from me. “Where did you hear that?”
“Lord Raoul,” I answer, folding my arms. “The more interesting question is, why didn’t I hear it from anyone else?”
She glances around like she’s wary of being overheard and lowers her voice. “Princess, it was in your interest. Everyone knows how much pressure this pregnancy has put on you.”
“Everyone?” I repeat. “Including Albien?”
She purses her lips and the fact that she won’t answer is answer enough.
“Why?” I demand. “Why the secrecy? And don’t say it’s because of some ‘poor pregnant omega’ BS.”
“There have been concerns,” she says reluctantly.
“About what?” My throat tightens as one answer occurs to me. “About my loyalty?”
“Of course not,” she says, clearly horrified by the insinuation. “I… I fear I’ve said too much already. Please, Princess. Speak to your mates.”
I want to press her for more, but I know it’s not fair to put her in that position, so I hold off. But I will be getting answers, whether they come from my brother or my guards.
I turn to walk out onto the balcony for some fresh air, because my head is swimming. I can’t believe this. After we promised not to keep secrets from each other.
Sure, I left without telling them, but that was different. Albien’s life was at stake.
I’m still calming myself down when I hear rustling in the garden below. I see something. A figure, tall and dark-haired. He’s not wearing a masquerade mask like he was the last time, but even though the glimpse of him I get lasts only for a second, I know it’s him. The scars on the left side of his face from the fire betray his identity immediately.
Mace.
The feeling of recognition shoots through my heart. The hatred I nurtured toward him for so long has become something even I don’t understand, but it’s an irresistible pull all the same.
I rush forward and realize there’s no way I’m getting down from the balcony in this dress and these shoes. I shift and leave my clothes on the ground. I haven’t shifted in so long, but it feels good.
My paws hit the earth and the animal takes over. I sprint into the woods after him, following his scent and the echo of his presence. How is it possible to memorize something without realizing it?
I can see him up ahead, or at least the outline of him. The faster I run, the further away he seems to get. When he finally stops, I skid to a halt, but it’s too late. The moment I should collide with him, he disappears in a puff of smoke.
I stand there frozen, looking in all directions. What the hell just happened? Where did he go?
It shouldn’t be possible, yet where Mace is concerned, I learned a long time ago that reason will only get me so far.
And yet, I caught his scent. That wasn’t an illusion.
I spend the next hour or more searching the woods to no avail, and when I finally hear Rowan and James calling for me, I circle back. I don’t want them to know where I’ve been or why, but when I try to sneak into the back of the castle, they’re there waiting for me and I know I’m caught.
“Danica?” James calls with a frown, walking toward me as I become human once more and stand before him buck naked. At least I can hope that will distract them from their fretting.
Then again, I have more reason to be pissed.
“What the hell were you doing out there?” Rowan growls, stalking toward us. He picks a leaf out of my hair and frowns. “And in your wolf form, no less?”
“I was restless and I felt like a run.” I don’t like lying to them, but they obviously don’t have the same problem. Time to turn the tables.
“In the middle of a party?” James asks in disbelief.
“You know I hate these things,” I mutter, folding my arms. “While we’re on the subject, though, I had a lovely chat with Raoul.”
“You did?” Rowan asks doubtfully. The fact that he’s staring at my breasts confirms that the distraction was a good idea.
“Mhm. He told me something very interesting,” I say, waiting for them to catch on and come clean. When it becomes clear neither of them is going to, I ask, “When were you planning to tell me about the invasion I’m sure you both had a hand in planning?”
James sighs in realization. “So that’s what this is about.”
“Should’ve known,” Rowan mutters.
“So both of you?” My face is burning with irritation. “I can’t believe you.”
“Why would we stress you out by involving you in a military decision that has nothing to do with you?” Rowan demands. “This pregnancy is high-risk enough as it is.”
“Nothing to do with me? I’m the one Aedan is after.”
“And you’re the one Mace freed,” James says pointedly. “I know that’s been weighing on you.”
“What? What makes you say that?”
“Because you say his name in your sleep,” Rowan answers, raising an eyebrow. “A lot.”
My face grows even warmer. This is the first I’ve heard of talking in my sleep, but I guess that’s what I get for sleeping with two men who have super sensitive hearing. “That’s still not a justification for keeping this from me.”
“We know how you are, Dani,” James says gently.
“How is that?” I demand, refusing to melt at his charm the way I usually would.
“You want to see the best in people. You think everyone can be redeemed,” he answers. “I know what Mace did makes you second guess his true intentions.”
“How could it not? He saved me.”
“He kidnapped you,” Rowan growls. “He delivered you to Aedan and manipulated you for most of your life. One change of heart doesn’t erase any of that.”
“I know it doesn’t,” I say, harsher than I mean to. “I know. Trust me, if anyone’s aware of just what Mace is capable of, it’s me.”
“That’s all the more reason for you to stay as far away from this as possible,” James says, touching my cheek. “You’re too close to the situation and you’ve been through enough. All you need to do know is focus on your duties as Queen, and these babies.”
I want to argue, but this is the first he’s spoken of the babies in any positive, non-doom-and-gloom light, so I don’t want to make him change his mind.
“Come on,” Rowan says, offering me his hand. “Let’s go inside. It’s been a long day.”
That, I can’t argue with. I take his hand and cast one last glance out at the forest. If they think there’s even a chance Mace is back to play mind games with me, it’s only going to cement their conviction that he deserves to die.
The question is… are they right? Is he too far beyond redemption?
I can’t say for sure one way or another, but one thing is certain. I never thought I’d be the one thinking of giving Mace another chance.
Five
It’s been two weeks since Christopher left, and nearly just as long since I realized what Rowan and James had planned. The fact that they’re keeping things from me is still getting under my skin, especially since they’ve been more hush-hush about their work than ever.
You’d think I was a princess who needed to be kept safe in an ivory tower or something.
At least Albien’s been in a good mood lately, and I can’t help but assume it has something to do with his late-night rendezvous with Jenna. As much as I want to stay pissed at him for keeping the invasion thing from me, too, it’s hard to resist his sad face. This is the first time I’ve seen him actually happy and no matter how irritated I am, I don’t want to be the one who ruins that.
I decide to take a walk out in the garden, since that’s just about the only physical activity I can do without somebody blowing a gasket. Once I got over the whole bodysnatchers feeling, I started enjoying the experience of pregnancy itself, but I could do without all the hys
teria. My guys are overprotective enough as it is.
I walk a bit further down the path, getting lost in thought as seems to be common lately. I don’t know what it is about today that has me feeling so melancholic. It takes a full few minutes for it to set in.
This is the anniversary of my mother’s death.
Holy crap, how could I forget something like that? At one point, it was practically a ritual holiday for me. I’d go to her grave every year with flowers and spend hours telling her everything that was going on in my life. It made me feel close to her somehow. Like if I kept talking, she wouldn’t ever really be that far away. Even if everyone else in the pack seemed to have forgotten her.
Even if I myself never really knew who she was.
After finding out the truth about the fact that the woman I was raised to believe was my mother never actually shared any DNA with me, I’ve been torn inside. I don’t know how much of a role she had to play in my “father’s” treachery, and the truth is, I’m not sure I want to know. Now that this day is finally here, I just know I can’t let it pass without doing something.
I pick a few roses from my favorite bush in the garden and wander into the forest, looking for a decent spot. It doesn’t take me long to find the perfect spot. There’s a babbling creek and the sunlight streams in through the forest canopy in just the right way.
I kneel down in a soft, grassy spot and arrange the roses around a smooth, pretty stone I found on the garden path. It’s hardly a proper grave, but until I can have an actual memorial built, it’ll have to do.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It feels like something is missing and I know what. Through the sound of the rushing water, the silence in the air feels even more profound.
“Talking to you used to be so easy,” I murmur. “Maybe it’s because you never talked back. I was able to project all these feelings and thoughts onto you. Turn you into this angel I wanted to be.” I sigh. “I don’t know whether you’re closer to that or to the man I called ‘father’ for most of my life, but… I guess now, it really is up to me to decide. And for what it’s worth, I choose to believe you weren’t all that different from me. Just an omega who felt lost in a world she had no control over. One who did the best she could for the people she loved, even if she made mistakes…”
